A/N: Toonpetey asked for a song from the musical Assassins. I've never seen it, but it sounds pretty interesting, and after checking out a couple songs online, I decided to go with the opening tune "Everybody's Got a Right". Throughout the song, the main vocalist gets people to shoot at president-themed targets at his fairground booth, so same deal here - in most cases, the character Wario's trying to rope in has a line of their own by the end, but not three of them: see if you can guess who they are anyway!

Every Villain's Got the Right

Wario: Hey pal, feelin' blue?
Don't know what to do?
Hey, pal – I mean you –
Yeah. C'mere and kill-a Mario.

No dream? Nightmare bare?
One bed, no one there?
Hey pal, don't despair,
You wanna shoot-a Mario?
C'mon and shoot-a Mario…

Some guys think we can't be winners.
First prize ought to go to us sinners.

Antasma: How much?
Wario: Ninety-three. Super Scope. Six double-As. Plastic handle. Bats stamped on the sides.
Antasma: Alvight, give me.

Wario: Hey, bro, not in Smash?
Dream girl says you'll crash?
Show her you can clash
If you can shoot-a Mario.
You can get the prize
With the big blue eyes,
Skinny little thighs,
And those grating cries…

Antasma: Mister!

Wario: Every villain's got the right
To be happy.
Don't stay mad, life's not as bad
As it seems.
If you keep your goal in sight,
You can stretch to any height.
Everybody's got the right
To their dreams…

Waluigi: Deal!
Antasma: Mister-
Waluigi: I said "deal"!
Antasma: You. You vait your turn.
Waluigi: It's my turn!
Antasma: I vas here first-
Wario: Watch it now, no violence!

Hey, Captain, feel like you're a failure?
Ape cut off your tail?
Your ship sank down for good?
Hey, Captain, feel like dank drift wood?
C'mere and kill-a Donkey Kong…

King K. Rool: Okay!
Kamek: Oh my aching…

Wario: What's-a wrong, wiz?
Boss-a treat you crummy?
Trouble with your Yoshi?
This-a bring you some relief:
Here, give some zap-a to baby.

Kamek: Like you could give me Mario…
Wario: Anything you want.
Kamek: I want the REAL Mario.
Wario: Only eight coins: cheap for "let's be real here."

Every villain's got the right
To be different
Even though at times they fill
With fury!
Aim for what you want a lot:
Engrish Beans too, take a shot!
Every villain's got a right
To their dreams.

Yo, Sugar! Looking for-a gold?
The treasure cave is that way.
Yeah Sugar, this requires skill,
For free? You wanna give it a try…

Jeez, Queenie! Give a guy some air!
The sewer doors are that way.
Please, Queenie- your hair is getting everywhere…

Hey, gang, look who's here:
There's our pioneer.
Hey, king, loud and clear!

Bowser: Every villain's got the right
To be happy.
Snarl, "Enough!" He's not as tough
As he seems.

Don't be scared you won't prevail:
Someday the plumber will fail.
No one can be kept in jail
For their dreams.

Wario: Free country!
Means your dreams can come true.
Bowser: Be a monster!
Wario: Make a dollar!
Both: Free country!
Bowser: Means they'll cower from you!
Wario: Fart and holler!
Bowser: Grab 'em by the whisker!
Both: Free country!
Bowser: Means you don't have to lose!
Wario: Just cruise!
Bowser: Happiness ain't a ruse!

Wario: Every villain's got the right
To some sunshine!
Everybody…
All: Steal the sun,
And every one
Of its beams.
(All of its beams.)
Koopa, human, Croc or Bean,
Stay in shadow, flap your wings,
Every villain just stay mean
In your dreams.
Every villain's got a right
To their dreams.