A/N: This one's "The Prescription Drug Song" by The Arrogant Worms, since I thought it's a natural song for Dr. Mario. As for the patient, it could be anyone: Bowser, Wario, Toad – whatever strikes your fancy!

The Prescription Item Song

I woke up the first morning, and I felt very bad
I wondered if it might have been something that I'd had
So I went to my Doctor, a very learnéd man
Knowing that he'd have the problem well in hand

He said, "Mama mia, fellow, you-a don't look very up
Could you-a give me a cough and-a pee into this cup?"
He pondered for a minute, then he said, "Your Virus's Blue
Take these-a pills, Stars know what they will do."

He gave me…
Birdo Eggs and Chicken Legs, and Super Leaves and sliced Sushi
And bug spray from the Big Ape City, and Cola from Beanbean
And Cape Feathers and Gold Flowers and some extra Star Powers
And bits of Goomba and Yoshi that he got from a can

I woke the second morning, and felt worse than the first
My head was full of mucous, I swore that it would burst
My skin was cold and clammy, and my hands were large and green
So went back to my Doctor, his knowledge for to glean

He said, "Mama mia, fellow, what have you-a done wrong?
If you'd used my-a walkthrough, your-a illness would be gone."
I told him that I took everything he gave
So he gave me some more and told me to "Go away."

He gave me…
Super 'Shrooms and Shoes of Goombs, and Lucky Bells and Spiny Shells
And lava from another castle, and Pixls from Flipside
And Zess Candies and Bulb Berriers and stolen Yoshi Cookies
And bits of Cheep Cheep and Star Sprite that he got from a can

I woke up the third morning, and found out I was dead
There was six feet of dirt right above my head
My friends were at the funeral, saying bye to me
Then I heard that doctor giving the eulogy

He said, "Mama mia fellow, oh I should-a have known
That he would-a take too many pills when-a left all alone."
So here I lie forever cursing my sorry lot
For I'm so full of power-ups that I shall never rot

Cuz I took…
Hammer Suits and Lucky Fruits, and Snow Bunnies and Toadsworth's Teas
And Star Bits from Gateway Galaxy, and Veggies from Subcon
And Power Steaks and Long-Last Shakes and some tasty Chocolate Cakes
And bits of Koopa and Shy Guy that he got from a can

And Yoshi Wings and Yellow Springs, and Sacred Sinks and Apples Pink
And Garlic from WarioWare Inc., and Potions from the moon
And Boss Bass Fins and Sap Muffins and some Mega Vitamins
And bits of Blooper and Bob-omb that he got from a can

And I won't do that again.