Role Playing 5.2

After Lisa called out the fact that my ass was still sore and had James give her a full massage, I couldn't do anything less. I wasn't going to be the weak link. So when she got up and patted the wadded up camo jacket that she'd used as a pillow, I changed places with her.

"Uh, Taylor? Um…" James clearly wanted an engraved invitation.

"Lisa's right. Those muscles get sore too." Unlike Lisa I could at least be professional about this. I also wasn't going to make those happy noises like Lisa had. Thankfully she'd stopped after I'd sent a mosquito to buzz in her ear.

"Thank you… for answering the question. The question I was having trouble wording. The thanks is for answering that question."

I found James's babble oddly reassuring. While he was a superhero now, he was still the goofball I grew up with inside. Yes, his hands were on my legs, but he found this just as awkward as me. I focused on my bugs and Lisa as she shared some insights on the Undersiders. Mostly trivia, but it helped paint a picture of them as people instead of villains. I still wasn't sure how much I bought the shades of gray argument, but Lisa had at least convinced me that the Undersiders were certainly a lesser evil. Even with Lisa to focus upon, part of me enjoyed the massage. James had really improved his technique. When the massaged ended, I was both disappointed and relieved.

"Hey James, if you two race home, be sure to give Taylor another massage."

Did she want another mosquito in her ear?

"Uh, we don't have to run. Plenty of time to walk. It's a nice night out?"

I offered James a weak smile, not that he could see it through my mask. I needed to use words. "No, we should. I mean, we both need to practice «Sprint», and the massage isn't terrible. Actually it's rather pleasant. Argh, that's not what I mean." Fuck, what do I mean? What kind of team leader am I? I bet Alexandria never gets tongue tied like this. Especially about getting a massage. Right. I can do this. "James, we're partners and teammates. We fought the boss zombie and Lung, we can be adult about this. A massage is just a massage. Let's try to just ignore the whole boy/girl thing? 'Kay?"

"Do you…" James trailed off. Apparently with increased WIS came the ability not to say the first thing that popped into his head. "Want to race?"

"Hey! Don't leave me in here." Lisa interjected before I could reply.

After we took our leave from Lisa we raced back to my house. Other than it being night out, it went pretty much like our «Sprint» across town earlier. I started off a little bit faster, but couldn't keep up. By the time we got to my house, I couldn't catch my breath. I didn't even try to stretch. I just plopped down on my front porch and let James massage my pain away. All the aches in my body melted away as he rubbed my sore muscles. Okay, maybe I was a little too hard on Lisa. I could get used to this. All too soon it was over. I had James drop us back into reality in my side yard where no one could see. He agreed to come over to my house at eight and then he left.

It was only after he left that I realized that I was still in costume. I felt exposed changing in my side yard, but I knew from my «Combat Map» that I was alone. I also took a little bit to wake up the spiders in my basement and set up all my standard skills to practice with my bugs. It was time to face my father. I was not looking forward to this. He wasn't going to be happy.

I pushed my doubts down deep inside and strove for nonchalance as I entered my house. "Hi Dad, I'm home."

"Hello Taylor. I see you managed to make it home when you said you would this time." Dad's words were like winter wind, cold and biting. "Sit down. We're going to establish some rules, which you will be following."

"Dad, let me explain. I was-"

"No. I'm going talk and you're going to listen this time. This ends today. No more of you running off. I didn't know where you were or what you were doing. I've been sitting here listening to the news for cape fights. Last time you were out late you fought Lung! You can't keep doing this. 'Hero stuff' is not an acceptable answer. Neither is hanging up on me. I'm not going to sit here at home night after night wondering if you're going to come home alive."

"But I wasn't-"

"No. You'll get you chance. Rule one is I'm informed. I know where you are going and what you are doing. We will get you a cellphone and you will call me frequently with updates. Specifics. None of this vague 'hero stuff' bullshit. This is not negotiable. Do you understand rule one?"

Oh, I understood. I was in my second kangaroo court of the day, Judge Danny presiding. I was guilty of being a cape and should feel 'lucky' that I was getting probation with a very short leash. While this was better than being grounded, it was a rule I couldn't honor. I couldn't give my father specifics about Coil. It was also a stupid rule. Cell phones weren't that hard to hack. Lisa made it clear that even burner phones weren't secure. If I went along with this rule, I'd be putting both of us in more danger.

"Taylor. Do you understand rule one?"

"I understand." Oh, I could hear the sulk in my voice, but I didn't give a damn.

"Now that we're clear on rule one, do you remember what I told you before I left for work?"

Really? "Which thing you told me? That I was wrong for trying to be a hero? That you wanted to meet Beetle Knight?" He'd told me several things this morning.

"I told you that you'd better be here when I got home."

"I…" shit. "I guess I forgot about that. Sorry." And I knew I didn't sound sorry, because I wasn't, not really. Learning about Coil and buying all those skill books had been important. I couldn't even regret the zombie dungeon. We needed a shakedown fight to test our new skills, and it made a difference for Lisa. After fighting zombies together and especially taking down the boss zombie, had brought us closer as a team. We needed that.

My dad gestured toward the other end of the couch. "Sit down. You said you could explain. Please, explain what was so important that you just couldn't come home."

I felt more like pacing than sitting. I had too much energy, but fine. I sat. Now I had to explain. "Beetle Knight and I were training." What else could I tell him? Lisa had warned me not to mention Coil. He was in danger because of me, but if he said anything about Coil, then he'd be in a lot more danger. I couldn't even mention Lisa. I could mention the bullies at Winslow, but now really didn't feel like a good time to bring up that I'd gotten suspended for fighting.

My father didn't look at all impressed. "That's it? You were training? Why couldn't you say that instead of 'hero stuff'?"

"You put me on the spot, okay?" It was hard just sitting. I wanted to be moving or at least tapping my foot. I could feel my bugs growing more agitated. They were all under my control, but the ones that weren't busy weaving cloth were heading this way and ready to fight. I took direct control and pushed them away. I wasn't going to fight my father. I really only had one card to play. "I needed to see him today because… I probably won't be seeing him as much in the future. I'm going to be a hero. You need to accept that, because I'm a cape and a pretty powerful one. I'm not going to sit on the sidelines or just play dress-up with Parian."

My father didn't look happy about that, but at least he seemed to be listening. "Go on. Why does wanting to be a hero mean you won't see as much of Beetle Knight? I thought your plan was to do a lot more training with him."

"Sometimes still, but…" Right, time to spin this. "You were right. If I'm going to be a hero, then I probably need to join the Wards. Beetle Knight may or may not join with me. If he joins with, then we'll still be teammates, and we'll see each other sometimes, but it won't be the same." That was all true more or less, emphasis on less.

My father frowned. "I don't think that is exactly what I meant. However, since you are determined to be a hero, it is a step in the right direction. Why wouldn't Beetle Knight be joining you?"

"He's not going to be a villain if that's what you mean. He has issues with authority." Another half-truth. He had issues with Armsmaster, but he wasn't the biggest danger. "If he doesn't join, then we'll still meet up sometimes to train and patrol and stuff." Stuff like Illusion Barriers and taking down Coil.

My father frowned. "Taylor, you didn't say, but I thought you were more than just partners. I thought you were friends."

I was surprised he'd seen that. After all, he'd thought Emma was still my friend right up until the day she'd helped trap me in the locker. Apparently he wasn't totally clueless. "We are friends." Which still amazed me. I had a friend again. Two of them according to the «Relationships» tab.

My father ran a hand through his thinning hair. "Kiddo, friends aren't something that grow on trees. If Beetle Knight has reservations, then maybe you should slow down, think things through. There is no need to rush this decision. The Wards will still be there next week. Don't throw away a friend."

Shit. That hurt. I wasn't like Emma. This wasn't my choice. I didn't like Lisa's plan, but Coil was a psychotic, controlling asshat, and joining the Wards wasn't really safe for James. Lisa was trying to plot a narrow course between Scylla and Charybdis to keep all of us, including my father, safe and free. We had to use the Protectorate, but couldn't trust them with the truth. They were infiltrated by Coil and if they knew the full extent of James's powers, he would be locked in a very nice gilded cage for the rest of his life.

And I couldn't tell Dad any of that. "I'm not throwing away a friend. It's Beetle Knights choice. He can still join the Wards." And as sour to my stomach as that made me feel that was the truth. Lisa had given him two options. One was just much safer for him.

My father crossed his arms, obviously unconvinced. "So why not give him time to think?"

And it all came down to Coil being an asshat, but if I told my father, he'd tell the PRT to protect me from the big bad supervillain, and then Coil would find out, and everything would go to shit. I pushed my fears out into my swarm and trotted out one of Mom's pet saying. Something she'd say about any unpleasant job that needed doing. "If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly."

My father softened as that. "I miss her too, kiddo, but that's not what she meant when she used it. Joining the Wards isn't something you can just take back. You shouldn't rush into life altering decisions."

I shrugged. "It didn't start out that way. I got an email from Miss Militia today. She invited me to meet the Wards. Beetle Knight may or may not come with me. I'm still not entirely sure about joining the Wards, but if the meeting goes well then I'll probably join."

"I see, but even so… can't it wait?"

"Dad, It's Miss Militia. She wants to meet with me, and personally introduce me to the Wards. Do you really think I should turn that down?"

"Well… I guess not." My father looked about as happy as being told he had a cavity that needed filling, but given where I'd started, this was almost victory.

«Your skill in [Bluff] has increased by 1.»

I was really starting to hate being told that I was getting better at lying to my father. "Dad, I'll be safer in the Wards." More importantly my father would be safer at least in the short term. Coil wouldn't move after a Ward's family without a pressing reason. At least that's what Lisa said.

"I can't say that I'm happy, but maybe this is for the best." He sighed. "When is this meeting? I am your father. I should be there."

"I'll meet with Miss Militia and the Wards tomorrow afternoon." At least I hoped that I would be. I'd used my brand new smart phone to log onto PHO and send a reply to Miss Militia at dinner. I hadn't checked a reply yet, but Lisa claimed the PRT would bend over backward to recruit me. "I can't bring you along. It would sorta compromise my secret identity." Plus I didn't want the PRT to know I was ready to sign. I'd lose leverage that way.

"Then come home afterward and we'll talk. If they give you any papers, bring them home and I'll look them over."

"I can do that," I lied. While Dad was being reasonable, his way would cost me a day. With Coil I didn't have time to spare. So I'd just 'change my mind' tomorrow and call him from the PRT building. Hmm, since he just brought up the matter of contracts. "Dad, there is something else I want to do first, too. I could use your help. It's about Parian. We've just been working with verbal agreements. I'm pretty sure that the PRT won't let me honor those agreement. So, I want to get a written contract in place with Parian first. That way the PRT won't have a choice." Technically they would have a choice. They could tell me no, but Lisa thought they'd bend their terms for me.

My dad beamed at this announcement. "Taylor, that's a great idea! A good contract would protect both your interests. Do you want me to meet with you and Parian?"

"No, that would also compromise my identity. I'll meet with her. I want you to review the contract before I sign it."

He frowned. "If that's how you want to go, but it might take several rounds of negotiations that way. Do you know what terms and conditions you want?"

"Straight up 50/50 partnership. I'm supplying a very unique material, spider silk cloth. It is lighter and has a tensile strength greater than Kevlar. Parian will create the costumes and has the contacts. It's a fair deal."

"You should also make some volume commitments. Otherwise the PRT might still shut you down. An exclusive agreement with Parian doesn't mean you have to sell her anything. It only means that you can't sell to anyone else."

Lisa had mentioned volume commitments as well, but I smiled and played dumb. "Thanks. I'll be sure to put that in there." My father was no doubt hoping that the PRT wouldn't like that and I'd be well on my way to being a rogue. That was fine.

"So when do you meet with Parian?"

"Tomorrow morning." Knock on wood. I'd sent that PM over dinner as well. Hopefully she was available.

"Don't you have school tomorrow?" asked my father suspiciously.

"Yeah, well about school…"

Dad turned out to be surprisingly cool about my being suspended from Winslow. He was angry at the school and my bullies, but not angry at me. He was ready to march into Winslow and give Blackwell a piece of his mind. However, as I explained 'my' plan (actually Lisa's), he calmed down. He loved the plan, probably because he had a starring role in it. By the time I'd fully explained, he was smiling.

He glanced at the clock. "It's getting late. I think we made progress, but we still have to deal with your punishment."

"Punishment? But rule one? Didn't we cover this already?"

"Rule one isn't punishment. Rule one is common courtesy from a teenager to her father. You lied for weeks, Taylor, and blew me off again this evening. There needs to be a punishment. You're going to write me an essay."

I immediately relaxed. An essay was no biggie. Mom used to make me write one-page essays when I misbehaved. She believed punishment should be productive and not merely punitive. Usually I had to explain my actions and why what I'd done was ethically or morally wrong. "Okay. On what topic?"

"I was going to make it on morality of teenaged capes being allowed to risk their lives fighting…" He fixed me with a gaze that was more weary than angry. "However, given your declaration about possibly joining the wards, I want a persuasive paper on that topic. Three pages minimum. I want you to address the pros and cons. Make sure you mention the impact on your business with Parian and your friendship with Beetle Knight. You want to join the Wards? Convince me."

«New Quest Alert: Complete [Writing] Assignment»
«Write a paper convincing your father to allow you to join the Wards.»
«Reward: 250 XP, Increased Reputation with Danny Hebert, [Writing] increase, Permission to join the Wards.»
«Failure: Decreased Reputation with Danny Hebert, Denied permission to join the Wards.»
«Accept?»
«Yes» «No»

"Fine. «Yes.» I'll write the paper." And based on both our family tradition and the wording of the quest, my father wouldn't let me join the Wards until the damn paper was done.

After telling my father good night, I took a quick shower. Either because of the level-up or the «Massage» I wasn't really tired. That was a good thing because I had a paper to write. Before I got started, I wanted to go through my skills and see what others I could practice with my bugs. I'd already added «Mathematics» to the list of skills I constantly practiced by working through the math problems in the books I'd memorized. I pulled up my skills and tackled them alphabetically.

«Acrobatics» – no. «Aikido» – no. «Alchemy» – the practical side of chemistry. I had a list of experiments, but nothing I could do with my bugs. «Anatomy» – no. «Bluff» – no. «Blunt Weapons Mastery» – no. «Chemistry» – Hmm, maybe. In the books I'd memorized I had quite a few «Chemistry» problems. Why couldn't I work through them like I was the math problems? I tasked some bugs and started working chemistry problems.

«Chinese» – Doh! I couldn't speak it through my bugs, but I could certainly write things out. Chinese characters were in some ways easier to write with using bugs than the English alphabet. I turned on the radio so I'd have something to translate and started «Singing» along while using a group of bugs to translate words.

«Clairsentience Blocking» and «Combat Mapping» were already in my constant practice skills and that brought me to «Computer Programming». I had some exercises from those books as well, but they were intended to be done on a computer. Still, I could try my hand at just writing out programs using bugs to spell out the letters. It took more bugs, but was worth the effort.

«Cooking» – no. «Cryptography» – already working it. «Dancing» – no. «Detect Enemies» – no. «Dodge» – no. «Entangle» – no. Wait. Maybe. Would target practice on various objects work? It had earned me «Knife Throwing». I flew some bugs up from the basement with silk cords and set them to work entangling dangerously hostile furniture downstairs. Couldn't hurt to try.

«Entomology» – Why was it at 2.5%? Something I'd done had gained some experience, but I had no clue as to what I'd done. Pass. «Fashion Design» – already weaving away. «Finishing Blow» – no. «First Aid» – no. «Gambling» – Probably needed me to actually bet money. Judging by the way combat experience beat the hell out of any other experience, the riskier the better. So, pass.

«History» – no. «Hypnosis» – there were self-hypnosis techniques, but I couldn't use them and write the damn paper. «Intimidate» – no. «Knife Mastery» – no. «Knife Throwing» – no. «Light Armor Mastery» – no. «Mathematics» – currently working my way through binomial equations. «Meditation» – not and write a paper. «Mental Control Area» – working it. «Physical Resistance» – no. «Power Strike» – no. «Rising Strike» – no. «Sense Processing» – pushing it with tastes and smells. «Singing» – currently singing along with the radio to an Earth-aleph crossover, Raise Your Glass, by P!nk. Not quite my anthem, but I could relate to parts of it.

«Sleight of Hand» – no. «Speed Reading» – not while writing an essay. «Stealth» – no. «Swarm Clone» – I might as well try walking some humanoid shapes around. I set that up in the empty house one block over and two houses up from mine. Couldn't hurt to try.

«Swarm of Doom» – no. «Tactics» – no. «Trapping» – I'd had high hopes for being able to practice this with my bugs, but after learning the skill it wasn't as useful as I thought. Most traps required a source of potential energy to tap into: a bent sapling, a propped up weight, an explosive device, or something similar. However, bugs weren't strong enough to bend saplings or lift weights. While that ruled out most large traps, I could still make simple snare of the sort that were used for trapping rabbits. A rabbit snare was basically a noose tied to an anchor. You placed it on small game trails and hopefully a bunny would be dumb enough to poke its head right through it. While a rabbit snare wouldn't kill larger game, it could still trap a foot if an animal was unlucky. I'd considered using them against zombies, but given the way that Lisa had been dancing around, I thought I'd more likely trap her than a zombie. I decided to set a team of bugs to making and setting rabbit snares, while a second team took them apart. Maybe it would be enough to gain experience.

And my last skill was «Writing». That meant it was time to get started on that essay. I wasn't happy to be writing it, but I counted myself lucky that I was only being asked to write a persuasive paper about joining the Wards. A paper trying to justify the morality of teenagers fighting would have been a lot tougher. In an ideal world teenaged capes wouldn't have to risk their lives, but Brockton Bay was far from an ideal world.

Four hours, three and a half pages, and three «Writing» skill checks later I finally had an essay written that I thought would pass my father's standards. I think it would have even have passed my mother's standards. Basically I'd made the case that the Wards were safer than the alternatives. The hardest part was addressing the impact on my friendship with Beetle Knight, but I'd argued that if we were really friends we could survive some separation. I hoped that would be true, but people change and friendships don't last forever. Lisa was a flirt, but maybe it wasn't all teasing. If James had Lisa as a girlfriend, would he care about his friendship with me?

While I could easily wallow in that, I chose instead to review what four hours of constant practice did for me. Answer – a lot. «Chemistry», «Chinese», «Clairsentience Blocking», «Combat Mapping», «Computer Programming», «Cryptography», «Entangle», «Fashion Design», «Lingering Command», «Mental Control Area», «Sense Processing», «Singing», and «Trapping» all leveled up. I'd also managed to level «Mathematics» and «Speed Reading» twice. However, I'd made absolutely no progress with my «Swarm Clones». Given all the other skill-ups, I couldn't feel that upset over it.

Even though it was almost 3 AM, I didn't really feel tired. While it was tempting to stay up and grind more skills, I needed to be alert and skipping sleep two nights running would probably bite me in the ass. So I turned off the light and crawled into bed. In the darkness of my room if found myself worrying about James. The Wards option wasn't really safe for him. Not that the other option was really safe, plus he'd be spending lots of time with Lisa. Not to mention what Coil might do to our families. Despite my fears and insecurities it wasn't long before I fell asleep.

My father woke me up by knocking on my door. "Taylor, rise and shine. I made breakfast. I'd like to talk to you before I have to leave for work."

My first thought upon shaking the sleep from my head was disappointment that my father had made breakfast because I wouldn't be able to work on my «Cooking» skill. As I got dressed the slow way without «Inventory», I had to wonder if I was getting addicted to James's power. I'd heard of videogame addiction, and always thought it was a joke, but I was behaving like an addict. I'd only gotten four hours of sleep last night and had considered skipping sleep altogether two nights running so I could grind my skills. That wasn't normal behavior. Nor was the way I'd taken control of all the bugs around me and immediately started working on a baker's dozen of skills. I had a reason to push hard now – Coil, but I hadn't been thinking about him when I'd started grinding skills. Maybe it was a little out of hand, but I liked doing all those different things at once. My «Multitasking» ability was like an overeager puppy begging to be played with.

Powers wanted to be used. That was backed up by governmental research. During my research for my persuasive paper I'd found a FAQ sheet for parents of young capes. It was written by the PRT and pushed joining the Wards, but one of the questions had asked why capes couldn't just refrain from using their powers. The short answer was that every parahuman felt the need to use their powers. The longer answer included links to case studies where volunteer capes refrained from using their powers for a period of time. As the experiment progressed the parahumans involved had grown increasingly irritable. The experiment was cut short because after only three weeks some of the subjects started showing violent tendencies. So exercising my powers was in some way mentally healthy, as long as I didn't take it to extremes. Besides, with the threat of Coil training was necessary.

My father greeted me as soon as I entered the kitchen. "Morning, nothing fancy just bacon and eggs."

"Thanks for cooking, and here, this is for you." I handed him the essay.

My father took it with obvious surprise on his face. "That was fast, did you stay up all night?"

"Only a couple of hours." Where was the quest completion? I'd done the assignment. I started eating my eggs and bacon which were by now a bit on the cold side, but still breakfast.

My father leaned against the refrigerator. "I know you're going to see Parian today and later Miss Militia, right."

I nodded my agreement. Both had confirmed.

"Can I assume Beetle Knight will be going with you?"

"Yes to Parian. I'll see about the Wards." I took a sip of juice and looked at the paper in his hand. "Will you look that over?" The lack of quest completion bothered me.

"Sure, sure, at work. So just to remind you. Rule 1 – I expect to be informed where you are and what you are doing. Call me before and after you go to meet Parian and the Wards. And about Beetle Knight, he's a boy. That means I don't want him alone in this house with you unsupervised."

"Of course not," I replied as coolly as I could manage. Hopefully James wouldn't make it obvious that I was lying by showing up early. Not that my 'virtue' was in any danger. It had been clear ever since Lisa showed up in spandex that James liked curvier girls.

«Your skill in [Bluff] has increased by 1.»

I really wondered if there was a way to turn that particular notice off.

"Good." My dad ruffled my hair. "Be safe, Taylor." He headed out the door and paused before leaving. "Oh, and don't forget to do the dishes."

«New Quest Alert: Do the dishes»
«Clean all the dirty dishes in the kitchen.»
«Reward: 50 XP, Increased Reputation with Danny Hebert, [Dishwashing] skill.»
«Failure: Decreased Reputation with Danny Hebert, dirty dishes.»
«Accept?»
«Yes» «No»

Argh. "«No,» I won't forget!" That wasn't entirely a lie. I wouldn't forget. I'd just make James do them.

With my father gone I had a little bit of time to kill before James was supposed to arrive. I considered «Cooking» us some meals, but while I now knew dozens of vegetarian meals I lacked the ingredients to make most of them. I wasn't going to repeat myself and make spaghetti and a salad again, which left few choices. Lisa probably wouldn't approve of PB&J sandwiches. If not «Cooking», then what? Of the choices available to me «Alchemy» appealed to me the most since it stated I could make potions, but all the alchemical formula I had were simple chemistry experiments. I didn't have the ingredients or equipment for most of them.

I decided to pack up to meet Parian first. I had yards of golden silk cloth that I'd woven to give to Parian. I had enough to mostly pay her what I owed her, but not enough to pay for a replacement cape, not to mention costumes for James and Lisa. My spiders had completed some more skirt-nets and my first silk rope. It was a lot lighter than the rope we'd bought last night and should be stronger as well. I added four cold light sticks to my utility belt. Of all the things on my belt, they'd been used the most. I also grabbed my hero journal. It had some costume sketches that might work for Lisa. I'd just finished storing everything away when my bugs noticed someone had just popped out of nowhere in my side yard – James was here.

I met him at the door pulling it open as he tried to knock. "Morning partner." We were still partners right? Even if Lisa's plan might split us up.

James quirked an eyebrow at me before replying, "Good mornin', pardner." He managed a half-way decent Western drawl. "You ready to hitch up the horses and go?"

I stepped away from the door and gestured at James to come in. "Actually, would you mind too much doing my dishes? Dad asked me to do them, but..."

"You don't want to waste a skill slot." James laughed. "I get it. I don't mind training up the skill. But you do owe me a favor if I'm doing your chores."

Oh? "What kind of favor?" I'd reached the kitchen and started gathering dishes and placing them by the sink. I could do that much to help at least.

James stepped right up and started washing dishes. "I was hoping I could use your basement. Completing the «Join a Team!» quest gave me a [Secret Base Key]. I'm supposed to use it somewhere secure to make a portal to some kind of Illusion Barrier. I figure your basement is the best option we have right now."

I shrugged. "Okay, but why my basement?"

"I might not be able to move it later. With «ID Create», I can easily sneak in and out of your house, but you don't have that option. Also your dad knows you have powers, and you've got an army of black widow spiders in here. Can you think of a more 'secure' location?"

I laughed. "You have a point. You can use my basement as soon as the dishes are done." Was it creepy that James planned to sneak into my house? I couldn't throw stones. I had bugs monitoring every house in a two block radius.

He gave me a mock salute. "Yes ma'am."

Since he was still washing dishes I decided to make small talk. "So my father was pissed. I'm supposed to call in frequently to him and report and I had to write an essay." I shrugged. I suppose in hindsight it could have been worse. "Did you get into any trouble with your parents?"

James stiffened and paused washing dishes, then continued. He scrubbed out the skillet before he replied. "Mom was upset. Told me I'm grounded and have to go to her work after school. I told Lisa about it online earlier."

Lisa? "Okay." Why her and not me?

With a flourish he set the last plate in the drying rack. "All done. Let's see what this key does."

"Okay." Sure. "This way, I guess." I'd been having my spiders finish up since James arrived and only a few hundred of them were still weaving. "So, this is my basement."

"Where'd all the little guys go? «Inventory.»" He reached in and pulled out a large wooden key. "So how does this thing work?" He gestured in the air turning the key as if in an invisible lock.

Suddenly a loud grinding noise filled the basement. The noise grew and ebbed several times like some kind of overstressed machine on its last legs. As loud as the sound was it was hard to pinpoint an exact source, but it sounded like it was coming from the place James had twisted the key. Suddenly the noise stopped and in its place a large upright refrigerator appeared, or maybe it was a freezer since it only had one door. The refrigerator was a dingy white and it was aged in appearance. To tell the truth, it looked like it belonged in my basement. If we had owned a freezer, it would probably be something like this, a few years old and well-used.

"No fucking way!" James sounded very excited about our new refrigerator.

"You expected this to happen?" Was I missing something? I'd expected a portal, not an appliance.

James's earlier glum mood was totally gone. "If I'm right, you'll see." He opened the door. Beyond the door was a large circular room that was well-lit despite having no obvious source of light. It looked empty except for a lectern standing in the middle of the room. James stepped right through the door into the room without hesitating. "Well, come on, then."

Wasn't there a rule about never shutting yourself into a refrigerator? Carpe diem. I stepped on through.