'OH MY GOD YOU'RE NUMBER ONE!' Leanne screamed down the phone at me that evening, just as I was getting ready to go to bed.

'I am?'

'YES YOU ARE! They've just announced it on the Top 40! Oh my god, I'm so pleased for you! I wish I could give you a big hug!'

'That would be nice.' I laughed.

'Aren't you happy?'

'Well.. yes.' I said, uncertainly. I was, wasn't I? It had taken a few weeks but I'd got to number one. I just needed to try my best to stay there.

I groaned as I read the newspaper the next day whilst Amanda straightened my hair for my video shoot with The Weeknd. Of course, the photo of Nathan and I had made it into every tabloid in London.

'Lucy May and Nathan Jones were spotted yesterday getting cosy over Sunday lunch in Shoreditch. The pair were on Sunday Brunch together and reportedly decided to go out for dinner afterwards. Does this mean Lucy has already moved on from Ed Sheeran after he reportedly cheated on her with model Elizabeth- Eugh!' I groaned, throwing the paper down. 'This is ridiculous. Can two people not just have lunch anymore?'

'Not when you're famous, I'm afraid.' Amanda told me as she spritzed my hair with product. 'Stop touching your face or you'll smudge your make-up.'

I glanced up in the mirror at my deep red lips and cat-like eyes as she moved my ombre hair so that it cascaded over my shoulders and down my chest. 'I wish you were always around to make me look like this. It's definitely an improvement.'

'Oh hush, you're beautiful.' She tutted, moving in front of me to check my eye make-up was symmetrical. 'I'd love to look like you.'

I glanced at her hand as she moved it away from me and my eyes widened. 'You're wearing an engagement ring!' I squealed. 'When?!'

'Friday night.' She smiled, making her eyes light up. 'He proposed when we went out for dinner.'

'Why didn't you tell me?' I asked, feeling offended.

'Because you've been so down, I didn't want to rub my happiness in your face.'

'Well I'm so pleased for you.' I told her, honestly. 'That's such great news and the ring is gorgeous.'

'It is, isn't it?'

'Why are you not dressed yet?!' Eric's voice boomed as he appeared in the dressing room.

'Sorry.' I squeaked, not in the mood to be moaned at. 'I'll get changed now.'

My outfit consisted of a high-waisted black skirt and a lace bralet with black killer heels. The heels were a struggle to walk in, but luckily I didn't have to do much walking.

'Just take a seat on the chair.' The director told me as I looked at the room filled with sand, sand covering the vintage-looking furniture. It was a little bizarre. I did as I was told and waited for further instructions. 'This video needs to be sexy. It's going to have clips from Fifty Shades Darker in it as it's the official song, but you still have a role to play. Like you're Anastacia.'

The virgin who let some utter creep control her life and experiment with her? Ew. 'What would you like me to do?' I asked, hoping he wasn't expecting me to do anything weird or pornographic. My parents would have heartattacks.

'Sing along to the music, roll around on the sand, arch your back, run your hands through your hair and on your body. That kind of thing.' The director told me and I swallowed. 'We'll record it from a few angles for the whole song and then we'll bring Abel in.'

Arch my back? Roll around on the sand? Eek.

I was relieved when the pressure was off me and Abel was joining me. We stood back to back as we sang our parts and then I turned to face him, placing my hands on his chest. That was as sexual as it got for us both, thank God. Within a few hours, it was a wrap and I was relieved. My back was hurting from sticking my bum in the air. I needed to sign up for a gym.

'Thanks so much for this again.' Abel said with a smile. 'I'll send you over some dates for rehearsals for the Brits?'

'Sure.' I nodded.

The rest of the week was free and I felt relieved. I needed time just to relax and be myself. Valentines Day came around and I found myself lonely. Amanda was with her fiance. Leanne had creepy Stefan. Adriana had Ryan. Taylor had Calvin/Adam, who had flown back ready for the Brit Awards the following week. Even Daisy was busy, meeting up with her new boyfriend from We The Kings. I let myself have a lie-in and then I had a long bubble bath whilst Graham snoozed on my fluffy bath mat. Then the buzzer went. I decided to ignore it, but then it went again. And again. Whoever it was, wasn't giving up too quickly. I sighed and got out of the bath whilst the buzzer kept on going. I dried myself quickly and threw on my fluffy white robe, walking over to the intercom.

'Hello?'

'Are you going to leave me stood outside with flowers all day? I look kinda stupid right now.' It was Nathan.

'What are you doing here?'

'Coming to keep you company.' He said, shooting a cheeky smile into the camera. 'We can be two singletons hating Valentines Day together?'

I sighed. 'You're not going to leave are you?'

'Nope so buzz me on up.'

I rolled my eyes and buzzed him in, before quickly racing off to find myself something to wear. I threw on my black high-waisted jeans and an off-the-shoulder grey t-shirt, adjusted my loosely curly hair and quickly applied some make-up, managing to look just about decent as there was a knock on the door.

'You interrupted my bath.' I told him as he stepped inside my apartment.

'I thought you might want some company. I know I definitely do.' He said with a crooked smile. He handed me a bouquet of beautiful pink lilies. 'These are for you.'

'You bought me flowers?' I said, surprised as I took them.

'Girls like flowers, don't they?'

'Yes, of course. I'm just surprised. I wasn't really expecting anything on Valentines Day. They're lovely thank you.' I said with a shy smile, closing the door behind him.

He held up a reusable Tesco bag. 'I've also brought food for dinner and some DVDs incase there's nothing on Netflix.' He gave me a cheeky smile. 'Do I get a tour?'

'Oh, it's a pretty small apartment.' I told him. 'There's the bedroom, the bathroom,' I led him down the small hallway. 'And this is the living room-kitchen.'

'It's nice and cosy.' He commented and I felt glad that I'd tidied and cleaned it the day before.

'This isn't the best bit.' I smiled, leading him to the tucked away door of the terrace. I opened it and we stepped out onto the roof terrace. 'This is my favourite part.'

'What a great view.' He said, looking out at the blue sky over London.

'It is.' I nodded in agreement. 'I can't wait for it to get a bit warmer so I can spend some more time out here.' I rubbed my goosebump-covered, bare arms.

'So, what'll it be first? Back to the Future or Indiana Jones?'

'I think it's going to have to be Back to the Future.' I replied as we headed back inside. I closed the door securely as Graham rubbed against my ankles.

'I didn't know you had a cat.' Nathan said as I scooped up Graham for a cuddle.

I bit my lip. 'I don't. He's Ed's. I was looking after him whilst Ed was away but now it just seems... '

'Weird?' He tickled Graham's ears.

'Exactly.'

'When is he back?'

'Tomorrow evening.' I sighed, putting Graham down and throwing on an off the shoulder jumper to warm up my arms. I was going to take Graham back and pick up my belongings from his apartment at the same time. Then I'd lock it up and post my key through the letterbox. That was the plan.

We spent the day watching rubbish films, playing Mariokart on the Wii and then Nathan cooked me dinner, despite my complaints. He was quite the cook and it surprised me. He'd made a curry from scratch and it was delicious, something which I'd only have expected in a restaurant. After dinner, we sat outside on the roof terrace with my homemade hot chocolates, wrapped up in blanks and layers of warming clothing.

'I'm surprised you can still see the stars out here, even with all the light pollution.' I whispered as my fingers curled around my warm mug of drink.

'I'm glad you can otherwise I'd miss them too much.' Nathan replied with a smile, his breath escaping his lips like steam from a kettle.

'Where in London do you live?' I asked, out of curiosity.

'Notting Hill.' He said. 'So not too far away.'

'Multi-coloured house?' I questionned. That was one of my favourite things about that part of London; multi-coloured houses. That and the carnival and Hugh Grant and Julia Roberts of course.

'Of course.' He smiled. 'You should come by sometime. I've even got my own mini studio now.' He sipped his hot chocolate. 'Mmm this is the best hot chocolate I've ever tasted.'

'Now you're just sucking up.'

'I'm serious!' He replied. 'It's actually incredible!' He had another sip and made a satisfied 'mmm' sound.

I smiled to myself as I leaned backwards, looking up at Orion's Belt in the London night sky.

'Do you miss him?' Nathan's voice caught me by surprise and a familiar lump returned to my throat.

'Yes and no.'

'Yes and no?' He raised an eyebrow as he turned to look at me.

'Yes I do miss him but in ways I don't because I don't want to be near him after what he's done. He disgusts me.'

'I can't believe anyone would cheat on you.' He sighed, his eyes softening as they met mine. I looked away.

'Well obviously I made a mistake or wasn't good enough. She's a model after all.' I looked down at my feet and frowned. Why couldn't I have a perfect size 6 body? I suddenly regretted making the hot chocolate.

'Nope, you didn't make a mistake. He just wasn't your prince charming.'

'No offence, but I hate your gender. I'm not going to find my prince charming. I don't want to. I don't want to fall in love ever again.'

'We're not all like that.' He whispered, putting down his empty mug of hot chocolate. 'And sooner or later you're going to have to give your heart a break.'

I knew the next day was going to be tough. Really tough. And the tears brimmed in my eyes as Matt and I arrived at Ed's apartment, Graham in his carrier and a bag of the remainder of his food in my other hand. I took a deep breath as I entered the apartment and the memories came back of me walking down the staircase in a wonderful dress and Ed telling me how beautiful I was.

'Are you okay, Miss May?' Matt asked me, sensing my tension.

'Lucy, Matt. Please just call me Lucy.' I replied, not answering his question.

Matt closed the door behind him. 'I'll be right here. You let me know if you need anything.'

I took Graham into the kitchen, opening up his pet carrier. He moved around quickly, loving the fact that he was home. I filled up his food bowl and water bowl and then set off to clear my belongings. Upstairs was a floral suitcase of mine, so I opened it up as I packed away lingerie, clothing and shoes that I'd been keeping at Ed's. As I pulled out the dress I'd worn to the Mockingjay premiere, my heart squeezed in my chest and a tear rolled down my cheek. I zipped up the dress bag carefully and knew I'd probably give the dress to charity. Ed had loved me in it and I wasn't sure I ever wanted to wear it again. The photograph of us smiling at Arundel castle looked back at me from the beside table, taunting me, as I packed up the last of my belongings. Then, I slipped on my sunglasses and left the apartment, my cheeks stained with tears as my heart said one final goodbye to what had been truly wonderful.

'You're not having a good day, are you?' Amanda whispered when I arrived at Selfridges to try on some outfits for The Brits that afternoon.

'No.' I whispered, keeping my sunglasses in place. 'Please tell me you have some make-up in your purse.'

'Of course.' She gave me a reassuring smile and pulled me into the ladies toilets, fixing me up with concealer, foundation, eye-brightening eye shadow and some mascara. She dabbed away, seeming unsure as to ask what had happened.

'I went to the apartment.' I told her. 'I had to drop off Graham and pick up my things.'

'Oh sweetie, I'm sorry.' She whispered. 'Is he back today?'

I nodded. 'I'm dreading running into him on Wednesday. Absolutely dreading it.'

'Did Taylor manage to swap your seat?'

'Yes, I'm next to her now and I've got Selena on the other side.'

'Well that's better.' She gave me a squeeze. 'Think that'll do?'

I glanced in the mirror. 'Thank you, you're a lifesaver.'

'Now come on, let's see which outfits they have for you. I bet they're wonderful.'

'I can't believe we're in Selfridges.' I told her as we walked back out onto the beauty floor. 'I always used to come in here and try to get a free makeover but no one ever offered me one. Obviously not classy enough.' We walked along the pathway and lots of beauticians smiled and greeted us.

'I bet they would today!' Amanda replied.

'Miss May.' A man in a suit appeared, holding out his hand to shake mine. 'We have a private dressing room just for you upstairs and we've selected some of our most unique pieces for you to try on today.'

'Thank you, that's so kind of you.' I said, feeling excited. The manager of Selfridges had booked out a dressing room just for me? I wasn't even that famous!

'Follow me.' He said, showing us the way. We took the lift to the first floor and he led us through the clothes as shoppers looked my way. We reached a 'Personal Shopper' room with cream and light green walls, a plush cream carpet, a green chaise-longue and a matching armchair. There was a big green velvet curtain and on the other side of the room was a rail filled with beautiful dresses and a shelf covered with shoes. A lady smiled at me. 'This is Arabella, your personal shopper for today.' The gentleman told me.

'It's a pleasure to meet you.' Arabella said shaking my hand.

'Let Arabella know if you need anything.' The gentleman said and then he was gone.

I looked over at Amanda and realised she seemed to be in as much shock as I was. After all, I was her only 'celebrity' client. 'Are you okay?' I whispered, as Arabella poured us each a glass of expensive-looking champagne. 'Thank you.' I smiled.

'I'm in heaven.' Amanda whispered back to me, taking her flute and clinking it gently against mine.

'So you need two outfits, is that right Miss May?' Arabella said, breaking our private conversation.

'Yes.' I replied with a smile.

'Wonderful. Well your manager sent over some of the pieces he was interested in so we have those for you and a few extras I picked out myself.' She signalled to the rail of clothes. 'Where would you like to start?'

Some of the dresses were disgusting and the fact that they cost a week's rent in my flat made me laugh. A denim maxi dress with slits up each side for £505? I think not. Some dresses, on the other hand, were gorgeous. Fishtail maxi dresses, figure-hugging silk, lace.

I tried on a red lace dress by For Love and Lemons. It was figure-hugging and the underlay covered my bum and plunged down to show cleavage at the front. There was a slit right up the middle, showing my legs. I stepped out from behind the curtain and Arabella clapped her hands together. 'That dress is made for you!' I wasn't convinced. It broke the rule of showing breasts and legs at the same time. I looked over at Amanda and she was shaking her head. Thankfully, she agreed with me.

I tried on a Max Azaria black maxi dress with a plunge front, open back and a thight slit. Again, it was gorgeous, but the drawstring waist did nothing for my figure. It made me look like I was wearing a bin bag. Then there was the steely blue Max Azaria silk dress with halterneck and bare back. Gorgeous, but I was worried about not being able to wear a bra.

Then Arabella handed me a dress that I knew was going to be the dress. It was made by Forever Unique at at £300, I considered it to be pretty good value. I tried it on and it fit me like it was made for me. I loved it. The dress was a mermaid-fitted red lace dress, which hugged my curves in the right place. There was padding in the sweetheart neckline, which made my breasts look nice and the straps crossed over across my bare back. Even with my unstyled hair, I felt like a Hollywood movie star. I pulled back the curtain and stepped out. Arabella and Amanda gasped in unison.

'That's the one.' Amanda told me. 'It's perfect.'

'It's definitely made for you. Definitely.' Arabella nodded and smiled. 'So flattering.'

'I love it.' I whispered with a smile, almost forgetting the crap I'd put up with that day. I felt like a princess or a movie star or someone beautiful and important.

'Well we're definitely taking this one.' Amanda told Arabella. 'What have you got for the stage performance?'

'Well your manager only had one dress in mind.' Arabella said, rummaging around on the rail. She passed me another dress bag marked Forever Unique and I slipped inside to try it on.

It was very different from the other dress and I was quite surprised that I found myself liking it. It wasn't glamorous, it was sexy but without being slutty. It reminded me of something Beyonce might wear. The lace black dress was short and fitted, landing half-way up my thighs. The skirt had an overlay underneath, but the rest did not. There was a built-in bra across my bust, covering my breasts, but, other than that, the lace was dotted around in flowers, showing off my skin underneath. It matched the song, sure. I opened the curtain and Amanda wolf-whistled at me.

'Well it works with the lyrics.' She said, taking it in.

'I actually quite like it.' I told her, surprising myself.

'Me too.' She smiled. 'It's very sexy though and it definitely makes a statement. I hope Ed chokes on his drink.'

The Brit Awards that Wednesday came around quicker than I could imagine. I'd spent most of Sunday and Monday rehearsing with Abel and then on Tuesday we had a soundcheck rehearsal at the venue, performing the song multiple times so that the lighting could be played around with. Before I knew it, it was Wednesday and Amanda was applying my make-up whilst a hairdresser hired by Eric and did my hair and a beautician did my nails. I'd been waxed the day before, which I was glad about as the redness had only just gone down that morning, and my eyebrows had already been shaped. What I didn't understand, however, was that I was staying in a hotel, even though my apartment was a twenty minute car ride away. Eric had said that most of the attendees were staying in this hotel because it was the location of the afterparty. It was silly, but never mind. It meant Taylor was in the room next door to me, so that was a plus.

'How are you feeling?' Amanda asked as she carefully applied my eyeliner.

'Nervous, sick, stressed.'

'Your performance will be great.' My hair stylist told me as a top coat was applied to my nails.

'I'm more worried about running into Ed.' I admitted as my stomach churned in agreement.

'Blank him.' Amanda said, bluntly. 'Have a good night with Taylor and blank him. Let him see how gorgeous you are and what he's lost. And whilst you're having a great time, I'll plot my murderous plan. I wish I could be on the carpet with you, I'm sorry.' She apologised. As my stylist, she was going to be behind the scenes, ready to get my hair and make-up sorted for my performance. I suddenly wished I'd invited Leanne along after finding out that Willow couldn't get the time off of work. Amanda stood backwards, checking my make-up was even, as the hair stylist spritzed my hair with hairspray. The beautician working on my nails started packing away. 'Well Cinderella,' Amanda said, 'I think you're ready to go to the ball.'

I carefully slipped on my dress over my curves, glad that I didn't have any visible panty line. I zipped the dress up carefully, admiring its perfect fit. Then I slipped my feet into the black Jimmy Choos that I was going to wear for the whole evening. Thankfully, they were crazy comfy. I looked at myself in the mirror; my hair had been given Hollywood curls and I couldn't help but imagine myself as a bond girl. I had a black sequinned clutch bag just big enough for carrying my belongings and I wore dangly silver earrings. My make-up was very Hollywood too, with winged eyeliner and deep red lips. It was like I was in the Golden Age.

I stepped out of the bathroom and smiled shyly and the people who had made me look this wonderful. 'How do I look?'

'Like a million dollars.' Amanda smiled, her eyes teary. 'Now let's go get them.'

My car was scheduled to arrive right after Taylor's, so I was glad that they'd be a friendly face on the carpet waiting for me. The car stopped and the driver got out as my heart hammered against my chest with nerves and I suddenly felt boiling. It was just as well I'd braved it and not worn a jacket. I took a few deep breaths, wishing I'd had a drink before I'd left. Please don't let Ed be here yet, I prayed in my head as the door opened. I carefully climbed out, taking my time so that I didn't trip over my beautiful mermaid dress. Then the cameras were off and people were calling my name. It felt weird doing this alone. I normally had Ed beside me. I pushed him out of my thoughts, wishing I could just turn off my emotions. I reached the cameras and I posed for a few pictures, with my hand on my hip, smiling and then pouting as my lyrics filled my head; it's amazing what you can hide just by putting on a smile.

'Lu!' I looked up and saw Taylor waving, so I hurried on over to her, glad to see a friendly face. She looked incredible in a white cut-out jumpsuit and silver heels with matching bag. She pulled me into a hug. 'Looking fabulous.'

'You're looking great too.'

'Taylor, Lucy, can we get a photo of you together?' A member of the press called and we posed for a few photos before continuing up the red carpet, joining Selena and the rest of Taylor's Bad Blood crew, who knew me from Taylor's New Year's party.

'So we're live here at the Brit Awards and Taylor Swift has just turned up with her crew.' Niquita, a presenter I recognised, said into her microphone whilst being filmed. 'Taylor's crew, how are you all?'

'Good.' We all chorused.

'And Lucy, you seem to be Taylor's newest member? Is it as awesome as it looks?'

'Absolutely.' I laughed. 'These girls are great.'

'And so are you. Doesn't she look beautiful?' Taylor gushed, putting a hand around my waist and making me smile.

'She really does. You all look great!' Niquita said with a smile. 'So is Taylor going to win some awards tonight?'

'Absolutely!' Selena nodded.

'Which ones is she going to leave with?'

'Best music video for Bad Blood I'm sure.' I smiled. 'And probably best International Female too!' I ignored the fact that Ed was also up for best music video.

'Well thanks for your time ladies, have a lovely evening.'

We continued making our way inside and then I heard my name being called again. I turned around to see Nathan Jones looking rather dapper in a black suit, grey tie, smart black shoes and a light grey shirt with dark grey spots. 'Hey.' I smiled at him when he reached me.

He pulled me in for a hug, whispering in my ear, 'You look absolutely stunning.'

'Thank you.' I smiled back, aware that cameras were flashing around us. 'You brush up pretty well yourself.' I froze as I saw Ed making his way up the red carpet and Nathan turned to see what had made me tense. My heart raced quickly in my chest and I wondered if I was going to pass out or cry. Then Nathan touched my back gently and I suddenly relaxed, unexplainably.

'Come on, let's go inside.' He said with a friendly smile, leading me into the building.

The building was packed with celebrities dressed in their best, some in wild outfits which I knew would be slagged off by the media and others in outfits which made them look like the elite. I was surprised by how well I seemed to be fitting in.

'You okay?' Nathan asked as he passed me a glass of white wine.

'Yes.' I replied. 'It's weird, suddenly I just feel a lot more relaxed.'

'Good.' He said, giving me a cheeky smile.

'Lu! I wondered where you'd got to!' Taylor said, appearing in front of me.

'We saw Ed.' I told her and her eyes softened.

'Are you okay? Don't worry we're on the other side of the row from him.' She reassured me before turning to Nathan. 'Thank you.'

'No problem.' He shrugged. 'I'll see you in there?'

'Sure.' I smiled.

'So I think he has the hots for you.' Taylor whispered when Nathan had left the reception area.

'No he doesn't.' I frowned. 'He's a friend.'

'Mmmhmm. Didn't he buy you flowers and cook for you on Valentines Day?'

'As friends.'

She raised her eyebrows and looked like she was about to say something, but then her eyes widened as she looked at the entrance, obviously spotting Ed. 'Come on, let's go and find our seats.'

Our table was completely made up of Taylor's 'crew' and I was thankful for that. I sat beside Taylor, with Karlie on the other side of me. I looked around the dimly lit O2 arena, which was also filled with fans of the acts there, and I couldn't believe how busy it was. This time last year, I'd been in my jammies watching The Brit Awards with Leanne and Adriana. I'd never dreamed of actually making it here. I froze as Ed walked past me, chatting to Sam Smith. He glanced over at me with a small smile and I tensed up again as he disappeared out of view.

'Ignore him.' Karlie said from beside me. 'Girl, he is not worth your time at all.'

I shot her a grateful smile. 'Thanks.'

'Us girls got to stick together.'

The first award to be announced was for British Male Artist, and I was hardly surprised to hear that Nathan was in the line-up. I desperately wanted him to win, but it went to Ed, of course. I clapped with a false smile, aware that cameras were around and one was bound to be on me, waiting for a reaction.

'Thank you so much.' He said into the microphone, holding his shiny new award. 'It's been a crazy year, that's for sure. I just want to thank my family, friends, my manager and the rest of my team at Warner Records. This one's for you.' Everyone applauded again and he walked off the stage. Ella Henderson won British Female Artist, and then Royal Blood won Best British Group. I sipped at a glass of water, worried I was going to end up drunk by my performance. I'd had my dutch courage. I didn't need anymore. Nathan won British Breakthrough Act and I was very pleased for him. I didn't need to act. Ed won a lot of awards that evening, including British Single, British album and British Music video. Eventually, it was time to announce Best Female International Artist. We all held onto Taylor, nervously, as we waited for a winner to be called.

'Taylor Swift!'

She squealed with excitement as she stood up beside me and we all embraced her in a hug, Calvin/Adam kissing her on the cheek and whispering something that the rest of us couldn't decipher. She applauded as she walked up to the stage and recieved her award.

'Wow.' She said into the microphone. 'Thank you so much Britain! I am so grateful for this award. I want to thank my family, my label, my incredible friends, most of whom are here tonight, and of course, my wonderful boyfriend. Thank you for all the love and support. You're all shooting stars.' She walked off of the stage to be interviewed and photographed around the back.

Abel got up from the table next to me and nodded. It was time to go and get ready for our performance. He placed his hand on the small of my back and led me backstage. Amanda met me there with a hug and a smile. 'You're doing great.' She whispered. 'They keep showing your reaction to Ed's awards.'

'Ugh I knew they would.' I groaned, shaking my head.

'Well so far you've hidden anything you're feeling. Must be part of being a Hollywood actor.' She giggled. 'Now come on, let's get you sexified.'

'Sexified?'

'It sounded cooler in my head.'

My hair and make-up stayed the same for my performance, although Amanda redid my foundation so that my face didn't look shiny. My shoes were the same, but I was wearing my lace mini dress which showed off a lot of bare skin. I hoped my mum wouldn't freak out when she watched the stream from America. I checked my appearance one last time in the mirror as the tech guy fixed up my ear piece and handed me a microphone.

Amanda gave me a thumbs up. 'Go rock their socks off.'

'We have a special treat for you tonight.' Olly Murs was saying from onstage. 'This is the first time you've ever heard this single, but you'll be hearing it a lot. It's the new official song for Fifty Shades Darker and if you like what you hear, it's available to download from Sunday. Here is The Weeknd and Lucy May with Love Me Harder.'

I carefully walked onto the stage where the lights were dimmed and then they were up almost straight away. I looked at the thousands of people and tried my best to switch off. I was going to give them the best performance they'd ever seen.

'Tell me something I need to know

Then take my breath and never let it go

If you just let me invade your space

I'll take the pleasure, take it with the pain.

And if in the moment I bite my lip

Baby, in that moment you'll know this is

Something bigger than us and beyond bliss

Give me a reason to believe it.'

I strutted across the stage as I sung the chorus, trying my best to own it.

'Cause if you want to keep me, you gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, got to love me harder

And if you really need me, you gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, got to love me harder

Baby, love me harder

Ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh,

Love me, love me, love me,

Ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh,

Harder, harder, harder.'

Abel walked on from the other side, walking towards me and singing to me.

'I know your motives and you know mine

The ones that love me, I tend to leave behind

If you know about me and choose to stay

Then take this pleasure and take it with the pain.'

He reached me and I danced, moving my hips in time to the beat.

'And if in the moment you bite your lip

When I get you moaning you know it's real

Can you feel the pressure between your hips?

I'll make it feel like the first time.'

I took a deep breath, going straight into the chorus where he sang the echo.

'Cause if you want to keep me, you gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, got to love me harder (I'm a love you harder)

And if you really need me, you gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, got to love me harder (love me harder)

Ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh,

Love me, love me, love me,

Ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh,

Harder, harder, harder,

Ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh,

Love me, love me, love me,

Ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh,

Harder, harder, harder.'

We turned away from each other, standing back to back as we did in the video for the bridge.

'So what do I do if I can't figure it out? (figure it out)

You got to try, try, try again, yeah.

So what do I do if I can't figure it out? (figure it out)

I'm gonna leave, leave, leave again.

Cause if you want to keep me, you gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, got to love me harder (I'm a love you, love you, love you)'

I circled him in time to the music, until I was facing him.

'And if you really need me, you gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, got to love me harder (love me, love me, baby).'

I ran my fingers along his chest as we sang to each other.

'Cause if you want to keep me, you gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, got to love me harder (love me harder).'

As we had rehearsed, he turned me away and into him so that I was dancing just in front of him, both of us facing the audience.

'And if you really need me, you gotta, gotta, gotta, gotta, got to love me harder (I'm a love you harder)

Ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh,

Love me, love me, love me,

Ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh,

Harder, harder, harder,

(Love me, love me, baby)

Ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh,

Love me, love me, love me

(Just a little bit, harder, harder, baby).'

We turned back so that we were sideways facing each other as we finished the song.

'Ooh, ooh, ooh, oooh,

Harder, harder, harder.'

The o2 arena was filled with applause and Abel pulled me into a hug, kissing me on the cheek. Then we held hands and bowed and I laughed as he bowed to me as if worshipping me.

'Wow! That was an incredible performance by The Weeknd and Lucy May. If you liked the song, download it from Sunday.' Olly Murs said, returning to the stage. Abel grabbed my hand and led me off into the wings.

'Nice work.' He said with a smile in his Canadian accent, giving me a hug.

'Thank you for that opportunity.' I said, buzzing with adrenaline.

'No problem.' He winked. 'I'll catch you later?'

'Sure.'

'You were incredible!' Amanda squealed, pulling me into a hug.

'Thank you.' I smiled. 'Right back in the red dress?'

'You might as well stay in that one.' Amanda told me. 'There's only two awards left to announce. Come on, I'll redo your make-up ready for the after party.' My after-party make-up was a little more subtle, focusing more on my eyes than my lips, which were a subtle pinky colour. Amanda touched up my curls quickly and smiled as she pulled out a bag. 'I brought you some of your style staples.' She passed me my fitted leather jacket and my comfy, platformed Louboutins.

'You're an angel!' I told her, changing my shoes and throwing on my jacket as the final performer, Lady Gaga, started singing onstage.

'Enjoy the party. You've done so well tonight.' She told me with a smile. 'I'm proud of you.'

I pulled her into a suffocating hug. 'Thank you for everything.'

'That's what I'm here for.'

'Hey good lookin' ' Gigi said as I returned to the table, ready for the afterparty.

'You were great!' Taylor gushed, hugging me. 'And that dress is seriously hot.'

'You should have seen Ed's face.' Karlie grinned, wickedly. 'He didn't know where to look and I'm pretty sure he was drinking straight whisky.'

I bit my lip, nervously. 'Erm okay.'

'Come on,' Selena said, linking arms with me, 'I think our ride's here.'

We shared a limo back to the hotel, disappearing up to Taylor's room first so that she could change into a Little Black Dress and the other girls changed into their after-party outfits. Then we headed to the venue next door, Soho House. Paparazzi were already there, flashing away as we walked inside and I was glad Amanda had redone my make-up before heading home for the night. Inside, Nick Grimshaw was already DJ-ing and the party was in full swing as we posed for photos. My phone buzzed and I hestitated before taking it out.

Pretty good performance. See you in the office at 2pm tomorrow. Eric

Well that was something, at least. I'd somehow impressed him. Maybe it had been my slutty dance moves? Who knew.

'Hey Lucy, nice performance.' Sam Smith appeared in front of me and for a moment I almost panicked. Ed wasn't in sight, thank goodness.

'Thank you. Well done for winning your award.' I said with a friendly smile.

'Thanks.' He said, genuinely. 'How are you?'

It wasn't a how are you feeling. It was a how are you feeling after being dumped by my friend. 'I've been better.' I replied, honestly. No point lying about it and I wanted Ed to know that he'd hurt me.

He nodded, with understanding. 'Well you were great tonight and you look wonderful.' He gave me a reassuring smile. 'Don't be a stranger, okay?'

'Okay.' I smiled and he was gone.

Two hands grabbed my waist and I almost spilt my drink. I turned to face Nathan and tutted at him. 'You have got to stop doing that. You're going to give me a bloody heartattack.'

'Sorry.' He grinned.

'No you're not.'

'Your performance was incredible.' He told me, changing the subject. 'Absolutely incredible.'

'Thank you. For once, my manager actually seemed pleased with it.' I laughed.

'And so he should be.' He smiled, making his eyes sparkle. Boy his eyes were pretty. I slapped myself mentally. I didn't want to be broken-hearted again. 'And you look very sexy in that dress.'

I blushed, biting my lip and I noticed him watching my mouth. I sucked in a deep breath. 'I tried.'

'And succeeded.' I tensed as I spotted Ed watching me across the room and Nathan looked over at him, subtly. 'Let him look and let him wish he'd never lost you.'

You look so beautiful. Ed's voice filled my head and I flinched, blocking him out. I didn't want to hear anything that he had to say.

Nathan reached out and stroked my arm, making my instantly relax. I looked at him, curiously and then it hit me. 'You're a savant?!' I whispered and his eyes widened as he looked around.

'Not here.' He whispered. He took my hand and led me out of the room, up the stairs and onto the empty roof terrace. I shuddered, wishing I'd got my jacket from the cloakroom. In response, he shrugged out of his jacket and put it on my shoulders. 'You're not supposed to know.' He told me. 'No one is.'

'You're the reason I've been more relaxed.' I whispered, the pieces fitting together.

'I can make people feel any emotion with just one touch.' He explained, his eyebrows knitting together. 'I should have known to hide it better.'

'I'm not going to tell anyone.' I replied. 'Here, pass me that glass.'

He passed me the empty champagne flute, a confused expression on his face. 'Okay.'

I placed it down in the middle of the table, hoping it was going to work. I wanted to reassure him. I frowned, focussing really hard on the champagne flute. Nothing happened. In my head, I pictured myself knocking over the champagne flute and suddenly, using only my mind, the champagne flute flew off the table and landed on the floor, smashing into tiny fragments.

'Did you just do that?' Nathan gasped, his eyes wide. I nodded. 'Wait... so you're a savant too?'

'I am.' I whispered with a small smile.

'Woah. This is so cool!' His eyes twinkled in the dim light.

'It is?'

'Yes! Finally I have someone I can share this with!' He pulled me into a tight hug, surprising me. He pulled back and his eyes looked in to mine. I wondered for a moment if he was going to kiss me.

What are you doing with him? Are you over me already? Ed's voice filled my head and I winced, looking down.

'I don't feel so great.' I told Nathan. It was a complete lie of course.

'You look kinda pale.' He said, pressing the back of his hand to my forehead. 'Maybe you're coming down with something.'

'Maybe.'

'Come on, I'll take you back to the hotel.'

'No, you don't have to. I don't want to ruin your fun.' I said to him with a frown.

'Fun? Like your ex giving me daggers all night?' He laughed. 'Come on, let's get you back.'

We walked back to the hotel next door and I groaned as paparazzi snapped us leaving so early, firing questions as we passed. Nathan ushered me into the hotel lobby quickly and I let out a sigh of relief when we were safely past the security guards.

'Well that was eventful.' Nathan sighed as we walked into the lift. 'Which floor are you on?'

'Four.' I replied, feeling nervous. Who knew what the caption for the pictures would be the next day?

'Same as me.' He said with a cute, lopsided smile. We were silent the rest of the lift ride and then, in silence he walked me to the door of my hotel room. 'I hope you feel better tomorrow.'

'Thanks.' I replied, shyly, unlocking the door.

'Sleep well.'

'You too.'

I was still awake a few hours later, when there was a knock at the door. I tiptoed to answer it and I was surprised to see Taylor stood there in her pyjamas. 'Hey, how are you feeling?' She asked, looking at my face which was blotchy from crying.

'It all got too much.' I said, crumbling. Taylor pulled me into her arms, rubbing my hair, soothingly. I needed Nathan right there and then and his ability to relax people, to stop it from hurting.

'I'm so mad at him, Lu.' She whispered as she held me. 'But you've done so well carrying on as if you're not hurting.'

'I don't know what I'll do when you go back to America tomorrow.' I sighed.

'You've got Amanda and Daisy and Leanne and Adriana. You'll be fine. But promise me you're not going to let this beat you. Promise me that you'll go out and enjoy your life, that you'll get over him and that you'll write some damn good songs about heartbreak.'

I smiled at the last one. 'You've written some good ones.'

'Exactly.' She sighed. 'Now get into bed and try to get some sleep. It's stupidly late or early depending on how you look at it.'

'Night Tay.' I said like a child.

'Night Lu. See you at breakfast.' She closed the door gently behind her and then I heard a familiar voice in the doorway. 'Ed what the hell are you doing here?' I heard Taylor say through the door. I crept over to it, pressing my ear against it to hear the conversation.

'Please tell me she's not with him.' He said, his voice sounding hurt.

'Who?'

'Nathan Jones.'

'Why does it matter?' Taylor said, her voice venomous. 'You cheated on her, Ed. You became one of those guys. You broke her heart into thousands of pieces and for what? Some silly one-night stand with a supermodel? You were both so happy, why the hell would you corrupt that?'

'I was lonely.' His voice was small and he sounded like a child. 'And you know Elizabeth, we have history.'

'I don't give a damn about your history. You've now made Lucy your history so just leave her alone, let her heal. Eugh, I can't even look at you right now.'

'Taylor? Oh, hi Ed.' I heard Adam's voice and knew he'd gone into the corridor to see what the commotion was about.

'Just let me see her.' Ed pleaded. 'I just need to see her.'

'You had your chance mate and you blew it.' Adam said. 'You've had too much to drink, go home.'

Lucy?

Tears rolled down my cheeks and I curled up in a ball on the floor. Go away, Ed.

The next day, my meeting with Eric was quicker than usual and he seemd quite chirpy, probably because I was still number one, everyone was talking about my performance with The Weeknd and the single was set to be released on Sunday. I left Warner Records feeling refreshed and seeing the crowd of paparazzi outside, wanting to talk to me, didn't ruin my positivity. I just blocked them out as I climbed into the car. When I got home, I packed away all of my gifts from Ed and all of the photos, placing them into a Jimmy Choos shoebox and pushing them to the back of my cupboard. One day, when I was ready, I might want to look at them again, I decided.

Then, I sat down and realised I had an idea. I found Nathan's number in my phone and dialled it. He answered on the second ring.

'Hey, how are you feeling?'

'I'm doing okay. Hey, you know you said I could come by the studio some time? How does today sound?'

An hour later and I was admiring Nathan's recording studio, running my fingers over the keys of his piano. 'This place is incredible.'

'It's pretty small, I know, but it's good for recording demos.' He smiled. 'Have you been busy writing?'

I nodded. 'I finished a song this morning, but I want an opinion. Do you mind?' I asked, pulling my guitar out of the case.

'Go ahead. I'd love to hear it.' He smiled.

I took a seat on the sofa, pulling my guitar over my lap and I started strumming the chords of the intro.

'Did you forget

That I was even alive?

Did you forget

Everything we ever had?

Did you forget?

Did you forget

About me?

Did you regret

Ever standing by my side

Did you forget

What we were feeling inside?

Now I'm left to forget

About us.'

I closed my eyes as I sang the next part, pouring out all of my emotions at once.

'But somewhere we went wrong

We were once so strong

Our love is like a song

You can't forget it

So now I guess

This is where we have to stand

Did you regret

Ever holding my hand?

Never again

Please don't forget

Don't forget.'

I opened my eyes and saw Nathan looking back at me with an unreadable expression.

'We had it all

We were just about to fall

Even more in love

Than we were before

I won't forget

I won't forget

About us

But somewhere we went wrong

We were once so strong

Our love is like a song

You can't forget it

Somewhere we went wrong

We were once so strong

Our love is like a song

You can't forget it

At all

And at last

All the pictures have been burned

And all the past

Is just a lesson that we've learned

I won't forget

Please don't forget us

Somewhere we went wrong

Our love is like a song

But you won't sing along

You've forgotten

About us.'

As I finished, there was a loud bang and the ground shook as the lights went off and I was knocked to the ground, hitting my head. What on earth was happening?