Freya hummed quietly away to herself as she finally reached home after a long day at school. She was relieved to find the door unlocked; she'd been dreading rummaging through her bag, which was stuffed to bursting with all the requirements of a straight A grade senior student, for the door key she'd hurriedly flung into it that morning as she ran for the bus. She sighed regretfully at the memory; she really would have to give up the habit of pushing the snooze button on her alarm clock on a school day! "Papa, I'm home!" she called through the house as she shrugged her bag off her shoulder and kicked it into the corner to be unpacked later. Surprise prickled at her when she didn't hear her father's usual welcoming response, he had to be here if the door was unlocked… Despite herself, worry nibbled at her heart; her father may still be working full time at the university quite happily but he was sixty seven and several incidents on Voyager over the years had taken a toll on his health, what if… "Papa!" she called again anxiously as she walked into their large living room, smiling in relief when she saw him sitting just outside the room's open double doors on one of the padded patio chairs, holding a PADD in his lap. Coming up behind him she gave him a gentle peck on the cheek. "There you are! Didn't you hear me calling?" she asked as she flopped down onto the neighbouring chair, contentedly breathing in a deep lungful of the pristine air as her eyes drank in the stunning desert view of the valley below them. Moving down here was the best decision she and her father had ever made; compared to the dirty bustle of San Francisco, this place was so peaceful it almost reminded her of the endless carpet of stars she'd loved to watch fly past on Voyager.
"I heard you." Chakotay replied stiffly, his tone causing his daughter to look at him questioningly. He sighed heavily as he handed her the PADD he was holding, "What is this?" he asked, more sharply than he'd intended.
Freya's face paled as her application to Starfleet Academy stared unabashedly back at her. "Papa, I was going to tell you…" She started to explain but stopped as she saw how white his face was with fear and anger, "How did you find out?"
He exhaled angrily as he stood up, "Apparently if you don't turn eighteen before the school year starts you need a parent to sign your application form."
"Oh." Freya muttered, cursing her careers advisor under her breath as she watched her father's fists clench in built up frustration. "What were you really expecting me to do? You know I've always wanted to join Starfleet!" she defended herself hotly against the silent rebuke in his dark eyes.
He frowned at her disapprovingly, his eyes ablaze with discontent. "I expected you to come to me first so that we could discuss it properly!"
"You mean so you could talk me out of it!" Freya retorted.
Hurt flashed across Chakotay's still handsome face. "When have you ever not been able to talk to me?" he asked softly.
Freya's face fell guiltily, she was well aware that she was lucky to have such a close and loving relationship with her father. "Never Papa." She admitted. "But I knew that you were going to fight me on this, was I wrong?"
Chakotay's eyes shifted away from his daughter's intensely earnest blue ones for a moment. "No." He answered reluctantly but honestly.
"Papa, I know you'd worry, but remember that I was born on Voyager and lived there for over fourteen years! I know what I'm getting into…"
"No Freya, you don't!" Chakotay snapped, his voice cracking, "You have no idea what you could go through…"
"Icheb and Naomi are already qualified and doing fine, Miral loves it at the Academy and Autumn Harrow has already been accepted. Even if I never go on a deep space mission it's still one of the best schools in the quadrant for science study…" Her tone hardened as she saw him shaking his head at her, "Why don't you of all people understand why I want to go? You went against your father's wishes to join Starfleet, you practically ran away from home!"
A muscle jumped in Chakotay's cheek as her words hit a nerve. "Well, if I'd known when I was your age what I'd go through for Starfleet's sake I'd maybe have listened to him!"
"You don't mean that." Freya replied resolutely even as she stared into his pain-filled eyes, "If you hadn't ended up on Voyager you never would've met Mama or had me…" She gasped as she saw him sink into another chair and take his head in his hands, his shoulders shaking violently. She had to press her own lips together as her own filled with tears of sympathy. It was rare to see the aging, but still raw grief, overwhelm her father like just then; seeing him collapse inward like this shocked her; he'd always put on a doggedly strong front for her. "Papa, I didn't mean it like that…" She mumbled thickly, "I know that you loved Mama more than anything and wouldn't ever wish that you hadn't met her…"
Chakotay gulped hard as he lifted his head back up and met her shimmering eyes. "Come here angel." He murmured, ushering her into his arms which she sank into with relief, curling up in his lap just as she always had from earliest childhood and pressing her face against his quivering throat. It was times like this that he had the greatest difficulty seeing her as the seventeen year old young woman she was now and not the utterly dependent and trusting face of the newborn baby she'd been when he's first held her, with Seven looking on. "I'll be careful Papa…" She mumbled bravely near his ear, "I'm not leaving you yet, ever, I promise…"
He sighed heavily, suddenly exhausted now that his anger had left him. "You can't promise me that darling." He told her softly, moving her face with his hand until he could see her young face fully, it was so like her mother's, especially now with that earnest, yet naïve, determination in her blue eyes. "Just promise me you'll make your life a happy one, alright?"
Freya studied his face intently for a moment before a smile broke through her tears, "Thank you Papa." She murmured gratefully as she hugged him.
The creeping shadows of the night had shrunk into something resembling daylight in the dim morning sun. Chakotay sat down in his living room with a PADD in his hand, repeatedly mulling over the words spoken to him less than twenty four hours before by Admiral Janeway; he ignored the plan that he'd received from her, having tossed it onto the nearby table. Instead he gazed resignedly at the collection of much-loved photographs he'd accumulated over the, decidedly long years. Firstly a group photograph of Voyager's senior officers, taken long ago when Seven had still been considered a drone, stiff, alone, separate, and when Tuvok had still had his health. Then he moved on to his wedding photograph, both himself and Seven were wearing matching, beaming, love-filled smiles, standing as one. There were two many pictures of Freya to count; Seven always had been more willing to make a memory of Freya than of herself, once he'd found her camera shyness funny, but now he wished… He cut that thought off as his eyes settled one of his last with Freya, her graduation from the Academy, standing beside him fully decked out in an Ensign's uniform. How many of those happy moments was he willing to change forever? No, if it worked, if it really worked, there would be countless more happy moments created, happy years that had been stolen here.
Moving stiffly he stood up and activated the phone. The Doctor's face appeared almost immediately, looking more than a little startled to see him. "Chakotay? Why are you phoning so early? Are you feeling alright?"
"I'm fine." Chakotay said calmly. "I'm just hoping the Admiral has told you what I need and that you can get it for me."
"Yes, I've just finished talking to her. An experimental radiation inoculation for a classified mission Chakotay? With your health record, I don't think that's wise…"
"That's my decision." Chakotay reminded him sharply. "When can you have it ready?"
"The day after tomorrow at the earliest. I want you to come in for a physical before I give it to you though. You're not on some Starfleet timetable are you?"
"No, but I've been waiting for this a long time." Chakotay admitted, "I'll see you then."
A/n: PLEASE REVIEW! :D