A/n: I apologise for the long wait for this chapter, I've actually been writing and editing it on and off for weeks, but I thought I'd better finish off and publish it this week before uni constrains my time. Due to those time constraints, this chapter hasn't been beta read, but xXBrightsideBumblebeeXx did write a bit of this chapter for me ages ago, so thanks! :)
Captain Janeway was guiltily surprised at the relieved sigh that audibly escaped from her chest as Chakotay, the younger not the elder, left Sickbay within minutes of Seven's departure having managed to avoid confronting his aged doppelganger. His self-control however hadn't extended to keeping his thoughts on his development from her and she couldn't help but feel glad to be rid of his hawkish presence that had cast an unspoken shadow over her careful attempts to coerce an explanation fromtheir newest, and oldest, visitor. Of course, she could understand his wariness, even his anger, it couldn't be a good feeling to have your decisions second guessed by someone, yourself, imbued with the gift of hindsight, but that didn't make it any easier to withstand his confused feelings being haphazardly piled onto her own.
"Captain?" She probed as she moved to stand in front of the man's biobed, trying to remain professional and ignore the prickly sensation of unease she felt using that rank, so at odds with what she knew of him. After all, she reminded herself, Voyager was still her ship. "I think…" She ran a stressed hand through her hair and flashed the Doctor a grateful smile as he sensibly retreated to his office, "…we need to talk about what you're doing here in more detail."
Chakotay winced slightly despite the fact that he'd known she'd want more; she always did where Voyager was concerned. "I'll tell you what I can Captain."
The Captain's eyes narrowed when she heard his resigned tone, "Temporal Directive or not, our definitions of what you can say might be very different." She remarked, her voice weighed by warning.
Chakotay sighed heavily as he slid off the biobed and onto the floor. "I know." He admitted quietly before shooting her a knowing look, "Report to your Ready Room I presume?"
The Captain coloured in annoyance, surely she wasn't that predictable? "That's fine with me." She eventually answered coolly, turning on her and indicating for him to follow which he did.
They fell into step pretty quickly as they made their way to the Ready Room. Old habits die hard, Chakotay mused silently as he realised that his calm strides followed behind her empowered, agitated steps. He felt like he was inhabiting a memory, an ambiguous one that could turn tragic or happy. He'd need to be careful to retain his own sense of perspective here. "So, you want more of an explanation?" he asked quietly as they stepped onto the Bridge, garnering a host of odd looks from the present shift on duty there as they did so.
"Of course I do!" she hissed through clenched teeth, "Just saying that you're here to help isn't enough!" She froze as she reached the doors to her Ready Room, realising how that sounded. "I mean, I know that you wouldn't do anything other than help us…" She clarified in exasperation as she strode headlong into the room, letting her body lean to her reliable desk as the doors slid shut behind Chakotay, "But I also can't base my decisions on a future I know nothing about!"
Chakotay looked around the familiar space as he searched for an answer. He toyed with the idea of telling her about how this room looked as a museum exhibit, with a postcard view of San Francisco Bay from its window rather than the unmapped stars of the Delta Quadrant, but decided it would be cruel to them both to play such games. "I know you want specifics Captain, you're ready to ignore the Temporal Prime Directive for that, but you'll just need to settle for knowing that if I thought it would do you any good to know why I'm here I'd tell you."
The Captain eyed him doubtfully, biting her lip. "But would you? What drove you to this of all people, let alone my future self…"
Chakotay cursed his lack of caution in Sickbay, his tongue had been loosened by the glow of initial, delirious, success and now he was getting it thrown back in his face. "Kathryn, for your own sake just focus on what I'm saying now. It doesn't really matter how I got to this point." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment as he was overwhelmed with reasons why it did matter to him, more than anything. "I'm offering you a route home, what else have you or anyone else wanted over the past seven years? Yes, the future will change but, believe me, that's what I want."
Janeway almost shrank back from him, disturbed by how much force he put in the words. Maybe he was right and the future that had driven him to this was somewhere she didn't want to acknowledge let alone hear of. "You have a plan?" She questioned, now feeling strangely reluctant to engage with him despite the tantalizing prospect he seemed determined to offer.
Chakotay smiled in relief, bounding his way over to the nearest computer console. "Yes. I'll explain that in however much detail you need…"
"No." Janeway breathed faintly, pulling him back from the console, "Not yet, not now." Seeing frustration, boiling into anger, burn across his still handsome face, she tried to explain. "I need time to think Chakotay. I need to consider all of the ramifications of what you're suggesting, and not just the good ones."
Chakotay sighed as he caught the imploring, and yet implacable, expression in her eyes. He should have known she wouldn't let go of her scruples so easily. In the intervening, hard years he'd known between his time and this one, he'd almost forgotten them after the Admiral he knew had bitterly abandoned her resolution for Voyager to get home with an unblemished Starfleet stamp of approval. "Alright Captain." He agreed as neutrally as he could, "I understand."
The Captain let herself breathe again but still bowed her head to escape his intense gaze, which, when he spoke of his mission here, blazed with the heat of an enraged wounded animal, ready to lash out at those who'd hurt him. "Thank you."
Chakotay sat at a table in the Mess Hall nursing a cup of rapidly cooling coffee, his brows furrowed with a mixture of thought and fatigue. Although he had been slightly irritated by the crew's initial mistrust towards him, he could understand it; he remembered the days of anything and everyone being a threat until proven otherwise all too well. Everybody looked so much younger, so fresh-faced in comparison to their future counterparts, and for the first time he was able to see Voyager's existence as an outsider. The air on the ship was tense, and he felt shocked to realise that it was something he remembered; the tight ball in his stomach that had gradually faded after each passing year back on Earth was returning, and the worry it brought him was engraved on the faces of everybody he saw. He realised then, that everybody had had something to cling on to during their years here, something that made this tension somewhat bearable. Harry Kim and his endless optimism, a beacon of light in this vast, limitless space, Tom Paris and playing the clown; there had been B'Elanna with her anger, and Tuvok with meditation and being able to see things rationally at all times. He had never understood it before, but now, just when he most needed her to let go, he realised why Kathryn had clung to Starfleet regulations so fiercely; in a world of uncertainty they had been her ground, her reassurance that she was doing something right because despite it all, she had stuck by the rules, and that had to count for something. He had always respected her, as both his Captain and the person who had given him and his crew a second chance, but where he had once felt frustration at her refusal to relinquish her devotion to Starfleet morals and guides he felt something else, sympathy. The Admiral Janeway of his future had, after Voyager's return, campaigned endlessly for a newer, updated version of regulations for special cases such as Voyager's, ones which allowed for flexible morality, ones that placed the top priorities at getting the crew home as quickly and safely as possible rather than being obligated to carry out mercy missions for the 'greater good'. She had, however, changed her mind on the one thing she had always been adamant about not destroying: the Temporal Prime Directive. She'd swerved her viewpoint so wholly that it had shocked him, and her reasoning behind it, though both valid and touching, was something he knew her younger self would have just accepted as being par for the course. He felt vindicated in his decision to come here more so than he had previously because he knew, that had she come here instead of him, as she had originally intended, it would have rocked the very foundations of all that had been built in the seven years the crew had spent together; he had already let the cat out of the bag by saying that she'd had something to do with him being there, but if they knew to what extent... It just didn't bear thinking about.
And then there was himself. Chakotay knew that he had changed over the years, the marriage, child and then having them ripped away from him in the cruellest way possible had seen to that, but he had been shocked at his younger self's vehement denial that any of this was happening. The proclamation that it went against 'everything he believed in' he felt, had been a little extreme. He'd always hated the phrase 'You'll understand it all when you're older', but it seemed strangely appropriate now. Of course, he reminded himself, he was here to make things easier for everyone, and lead them to a future where time travel would not be an option they'd need to consider in order to be happy. That thought was all the justification he needed and hopefully his younger self would recognise that one day without having to go through what he had.
He pushed the coffee cup away distractedly as his eye found the source, in his timeline, of his brightest happiness and most painful sorrow. He released a regretful sigh as she stalked in, attention fixed not on him but the replicator that was her goal. Even for him her gaze was unreadable, so he hated to think of how inaccessible she must look to everyone else. Though he hadn't intended them to, the years had glossed his view of Seven, both physically and otherwise. Now that he was here, he could see that he had romanticised her features in his brain; her jaw was more hard set than he remembered and her stance so strict. She was still beautiful, there was no doubting that fact, and he rationalised that the Seven he knew and remembered was his wife, the mother of his child, and the woman he had spoken to not hours ago was neither yet. Though he would never be so arrogant as to assume that he had been the only good thing in her life, that other factors didn't make her happy, he did know that with the additions of himself and Freya to her life, Seven had become more relaxed and her smile given more freely. Now that the irrational shock of seeing her again had passed, he remembered that the Seven he was here for was the Seven who was his wife, mother to his baby, and by doing this he was giving her the chance to be both of those for longer.
"Captain Chakotay?" The sound of Tom's voice, the tone still friendly if not completely at ease, made Chakotay jump and wrench his eyes guiltily away from Seven.
"It's just Chakotay like always Tom." He replied kindly, "At least when the Commander isn't here to cause confusion." He laughed without humour as he thought of the trouble his counterpart's unyielding stance could cause him and unthinkingly downed the cold, bitter dregs from the bottom of his cup.
Tom's laugh was almost as strained, "Yeah, I guess." He agreed quickly before questioningly raising an eyebrow at the cup, "I always had you down as more of a tea man Chakotay."
Chakotay allowed himself a wry, tired smile as he considered for an instant telling Tom the truth. Firstly fatherhood, nothing could bring on a necessary caffeine habit quicker than a newborn baby, then grieving insomnia, had made him turn to the coffee pot more often, as well as, he was ashamed to say, the whisky bottle when Freya was no longer there to restrain the urge. "Things change." He finally answered hollowly.
Tom sensed the reply's regretful note and tried to lighten the mood a little. "I suppose I'll be the same when the baby finally decides to make an appearance." He responded with a grin.
Chakotay was surprised that he was able to return the smile with genuine warmth, if only he could tell Tom how proud he would be of Miral, in any timeline. "Definitely."
Tom's smile widened in anticipation, almost as if he could read the line of Chakotay's thoughts, but quickly became serious again. "What are you doing in here? I would've thought people who make the effort to time travel would have better things to do than sit in the Mess Hall."
Chakotay bit back a sigh, remembering what he'd realised about the Captain's attitude with him. "I'm…waiting." He answered carefully.
Suddenly Captain Janeway's voice filtered through the comm. system and buzz of conversation in the Mess Hall slowed to a respectful hum. "Can all senior officers and Captain Chakotay please report to Astrometrics."
"Seems like your wait is over." Tom commented drily as the other man sprang up eagerly but soon followed him out of the Mess Hall just as hurriedly.
"Here is part of transwarp conduit shown on the viewscreen as you requested Captain." Seven said as all of the senior officers filed into Astrometrics, their eyes immediately filling with horrified awe at the sight of the ever expanding Borg web.
"Part of it?" B'Elanna echoed tersely.
"Yes." Seven answered resignedly, "The full conduit would need four of these viewscreens to be shown in full."
A collective sharp intake of breath echoed around the room at this information but Seven found her attention drawn to Captain Chakotay, who was solely unaffected. It took Captain Janeway's serious question to stop her dwelling on his reaction, "You called us here Seven because you saw in increase of activity in the conduit?"
"Yes Captain, energy readings indicate that the number of Borg vessels travelling through the conduit has increased by 30% since our arrival."
The Captain paled, "Could that mean that they know we're here?" She asked anxiously.
"No." Captain Chakotay broke in before Seven could reply, "They haven't seen us, they're preparing to assimilate a new sector." When he saw everyone stare at him, he explained with a sigh, "A few months from now, we found several systems the Borg had raided for drones and supplies and Seven related it back to this conduit." He lowered his gaze as he saw Seven blanch with guilt she shouldn't, but always would, feel.
The Captain clenched her jaw and spun away from the viewscreen in repulsion. "Then we're going to get out of here right now…"
"No!" Captain Chakotay snapped, forgetting his reserve. "That conduit is your route home!"
"What do you mean?" Seven managed to choke out as the Captain turned red with anger and everyone else fell into a mortified disbelief. "Chakotay, that's impossible…"
Commander Chakotay grimaced as Seven addressed his older self, a flash of irrational fear and jealousy flashing through him. "Of course it is…" He began accusingly.
Captain Chakotay nearly growled in frustration, feeling the prospect of a new future begin to slip through his fingers. "Look, I know the Borg are daunting, but I'm giving you a thirty year head start, we can get past them." When he saw that they looked doubtful, something broke inside him as the image of Freya's mauled, half-assimilated body burned at the back of his mind, "For God's sake, you can't let them ruin this, not this…"
Seven gripped the edge of the console as she felt the pain and hatred radiating from Chakotay's eyes like a slap in the face. "Explain your plan." She demanded shakily, longing for an explanation for the feelings she could sense from him.
Chakotay gave a start, dragged back out of the bottomless pit that held his darkest memories by Seven's blunt demand. "As I said, I've given you the technology to thwart the Borg. You might not believe me…" He intended the words to address everyone but found himself staring solely at Seven, "…but we did win a lot of battles with the Queen and her Collective over the years, or else we never would've reached the Alpha Quadrant."
"You say we reach the Alpha Quadrant in your timeline, defeating the Borg in the process, yet you still want to risk this now to get us there earlier." Seven said quietly, her voice hard with disbelief.
Chakotay felt his fists curl in frustration, upset by the fact that it was Seven of all people who was resisting him, the person he was most desperate to save. "Yes, I am willing to take the risk and I'm not ashamed of that…" He started to retort.
Janeway decided now was the time to intervene and put an understanding hand on Seven's shoulder while meeting Chakotay's eyes emphatically, "He definitely has his reasons Seven, let's leave it at that."
Seven released a quavering breath, confused by her own feelings. "Yes Captain." She agreed in a regretful murmur.
B'Elanna now spoke up from where she'd been carefully studying the map of the conduit and Seven's data about it. "Chakotay, I understand that your technology would give us a chance, but it would still be a slim one if we couldn't distract the Collective somehow, there are just too many vessels."
Chakotay gave his old friend a warm smile, grateful for her benefit of the doubt. "Oh undoubtedly, but I'll deal with the Queen when the time comes, don't worry."
He sounded so certain that everyone in Astrometrics fell silent for a moment before the Captain took charge again. "I look forward to hearing about how you intend to do that." She told Chakotay pointedly, eyebrows arching.
"It's nothing you haven't done before Kathryn." Chakotay replied coolly, his lips twisting bitterly for a split second.
Janeway nodded slowly and turned to address the others. "I want this situation assessed, everything that you can get about that conduit I want to know as soon as possible. Dismissed." She inclined her head at the older Chakotay to get him to follow her as she left, indicating to Seven to stay at her post as she did so.
Seven let herself sag against the console as she watching everyone troop out, her eyes fixed on Captain Chakotay's retreating back. As the doors closed she allowed a worried sigh to escape her strangely tight chest. "What's wrong?" Chakotay's soft, concerned voice near her made her jump, but she relaxed when she realised Commander Chakotay had remained behind.
She tried to fix an impassive expression on her face as he watched her but found that it wouldn't come. "I believe I am experiencing what humans would define as a "bad feeling". She finally admitted as he came to her side.
"I can't say I blame you, I've been feeling like that since he got here." Chakotay replied with a heavy sigh, making Seven touch his arm in concern."I'm alright really." He assured her a little too quickly, "But what about you? If you truly don't believe his technology would help then tell the Captain, she'd scrap the whole idea if you were against it."
"His plan would have a good chance of working, if we do it properly." Seven told him seriously, glancing back at the viewscreen for a moment before her gaze shifted to the floor and she swallowed hard, "The way he spoke of the Borg…unsettled me." She forced out, "There's hatred there, hatred you don't feel now. What happened to…"
"Seven…" Chakotay interrupted, grasping her shoulders, "We can't do anything about what he's experienced and we don't know what it was. He was…harsh about the Borg but I don't see why you're so upset about that…"
"I am Borg!" Seven snapped brokenly.
Chakotay gripped her until the pressure of his fingers hurt. "No, you're not." He told her forcefully, pulling her close, "Listen to me…" He murmured into her hair, "I know that whatever happens between him and the Borg has nothing to do with you Seven and I don't want you to start thinking that way." He pressed his lips fervently to her forehead, "I could never hate you now and I never did before either, understood?"
Seven nodded into his shoulder, wrapping her arms tightly around his broad back. "He's in so much pain." She whispered thickly, surprised to feel her irises filming over with tears. "It hurt me to see you like that…"
Chakotay responded by tilting her chin up with his hand and kissing her gently on the mouth, hugging her flush against him as he did so to comfort himself as well as her.
A/n: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! :D It's such a relief to get this chapter up, it's been nagging at me for about two months!