Dark, damp, and musty, that was my current status that I radioed over to the two cavemen in hushed irritation. We were currently staked out in an abandoned warehouse where according to my research the cult use to gather every week. Our supposed malicious spirit had been pretty quite for sometime now, and although we had a few leads still nothing concrete was decided on its identity. So here we were putting our asses on the line by trying to recreate one of these cult meetings, hoping to lure the thing right to us. I clutched my iron crowbar tight as I continued to light tall slender wax candles throughout the hall. Dean was spreading a ring of ash in the main part of the warehouse, apparently symbolic of the worlds sins as well as a circle of holy water around the ash, meant to purify the sins, and finally at the center of all that crap, a photograph of a sinful being who needed to be punished. Originally the cult would place someone from the towns photograph in the center, but for our purposes and Dean's pure stupidity, well it actually was pretty funny, there was a photograph of Crowley's meat suit at the center. Fitting that the king of hell would be our sinner, I had encountered his majesty all of two times, and neither of them had been pleasant. And in all honesty, I would rather not recount them because each was in accordance with a deal, one deal was my mother's and the other was one I tried to enact myself, but as with all demon-deals they did not go quite as planned. The boys did not know of my dealings with Crowley, and I preferred to keep it that way, there were something's that were my own to carry, like the blue van…And of course Sam was huddled in a corner of the warehouse trying to scrounge up some last minute details on who we were dealing with.

"I finished up over here, heading to you." I mumbled into the old walky over to the boys, which prompted a grunt from good ole' Dean and a curt ok from Sam. As I entered the main room I instantly caught sight of Dean, faded forest green button up, worn black shirt, tattered jeans and boots, rocking back and forth on his heels smirking and chuckling at his handiwork, being the photograph of Crowley. Dean definitely could be in a relationship with himself. "So when are we starting this suicide plan up?" I chirped sarcastically with my arms crossed over my chest, boot heel firmly planted onto the cement floor with my hip jutted out just a tad.

"Fido, you found us, what an exceptional creature, you wanna a bone?" quipped the bonehead better known as Dean.

"Very funny, no thanks, would you like some book smarts or perhaps even a moral compass with your pie later?"

"Don't bring my pie into this doll face, it isn't something to joke about."

"Enough, you two. It's almost time and I would like two functioning adults backing me up here, emphasis on adults." Sam replied while standing up and brushing off his jeans, while eyeing us both in a parental fashion.

"Yeah, yeah we go it…bitch."

"Jerk." Sam replied back almost as if they were reciting a nursery rhyme or some catchphrase, they definitely had some strange bonding mechanisms. Then again Griffith and I had things like that, but none of that made sense to me anymore because Griffith was gone and all those things that linked us, bonded us, made us a duo were gone and it was like grasping at straws because it was just me no matter how many memories I held onto, in reality it was still just me.

"Fido you still with us, we need to get into position?" I jumped a bit, burst out my thoughts, my faded memories of Griffith, the shards of us, chasing birds down a beach, bumping shoulders everywhere we walked, food fights, him finishing the crust from all my sandwiches and pieces of pizza because I hate the crust, scary movies, bed jumping contests till mom flipped out on us, staring contests, thumb wars, endless matches of rock, paper, scissors in our attempts to evade chores, lip syncing sessions, air guitar duets, doctors appointments, fighting over stickers, toys, and soccer balls till we graduated to iPods, videogame consoles, and computers, learning to drive together, graduating side by side, prom, music fests…laughter, curses, screams, insults, jokes, congratulations, pride, joy, friendship, all shattered freezing for a moment suspended in thin air and then crashing to the ground and into the abyss as Dean stood in front of me waving his hand back and forth in my face, and barking meaningless words at me again.

"I'm here, I'm here, just cut it out!" I blurted out defensively scooting a few steps back from him.

"Good space-cadet, because we have business to attend to in case you've forgotten."

"Dean, lay off." Sam quipped nudging him and mumbling something to him, assholes I'm standing right here.

"You Freud, I'm standing right here, wanna psychoanalysis me, do it to my face at least, alright." I blurted out nastily at Sam, whose eyes went wide as his hands went up in innocence.

"Look Caroline, I did not…"

"Just stop, lets just work the case, ok." I replied cutting him off a little sick of him tip toeing around me, I was a big girl the only reason I was here was because of some ridiculous demon bounty, someone please run me over with a truck now.

"Ok, well we all need to join in a circle around the ring of purity and join hands." Sam said clearing his throat awkwardly.

"What is this the sharing circle from "out of the box"?" I replied snickering a bit.

"Yeah this is some head case shit Sam, sure it'll work?" Dean asked will shaking his head and tightly grabbing my hand and Sam's.

"Only one way to find out." Sam said while shrugging joining his free hand with mine completing our feelings circle, gag me please. Then Sam started to read off some ridiculous mumbo jumbo about sinners, and God's holy chosen ones, and smiting the evils of the world even people. I tapped my foot and laid my head back bored out of my mind because the ceremony was almost complete and nothing, not a single flicker or cold chill or weird moan was occurring. Just silence and Sam conducting some purity rights, why are we even here. I breathed out deeply in an annoyed fashion and then there it was I could see my breath, I instantly nudged Sam in the rib cage, and he jumped and looked at me questioningly, but then shivered and eyed me knowingly. I simply shrugged, let go of his hand and grabbed my iron crow bar from the ground. The candles still lit up the area and there was really no sign of a spirit except the chill that hung in the air. Dean gripped his pistol tight, holding it cocked as he did a quick sweep around the area, but still nothing. I dug my fingers into my back jean pocket gripping what I had left of Griffith, all I had left, his dog tag worn and tarnished, all they could give me when they recounted Griffith's strange disappearance while he was on tour in Afghanistan right before Faith's eventful visit that night and the announcement of that damned prophesy, but no sign of Griffith anywhere, definitely what you would call an eventful day, chock full of heartwarming surprises.

"Where is the damned thing?" Dean grunted out impatiently.

"All I got is classic unnerving cold right now Dean, I don't know." Sam replied back in a dazed tone. Then a few moments or maybe minutes I'm not sure, the adrenaline always altered time perception for me, I felt a touch on my back and I whipped around ready to bat eighty on this shit of a ghost, yeah I had some pent up rage, leave me be. I was stopped mid swing however, by Deans tight grasp on my crowbar and a lazy grin on his face, mother shitter, it was here the whole time, spirit possession, oh yay. Dean roughly pushed me back, and I stumbled, but regained my footing as I dug my heels into the cement, balancing myself out.

"Hey there douche, this should be an exciting fight I've been dying to kick the crud out you and the meat suit you're having a camp out on in, so thanks, ya did me a favor, two birds, one stone." I bit out with a sprinkle of humor to my tone as I swiftly turned my several rings into position and landed a sucker punch to the gut of Dean or the spirit or… who the hell even cares at this point, they are both assholes anyhow. It, he, whatever stumbled back a bit and just grinned, where the hell is Sam!

"You are a feisty one, this bonehead in here he's got quite a few thoughts about you, I should really just dispose of you now, make him suffer the way I did, make someone else feel my pain." The spirit screeched through Dean, it sounded almost feminine though what the hell, was this some chick. And what did she mean thoughts about me, and why would Dean even care if I lived or died? Whatever that's not important, I need answers, if its possessing people like this and moving around pretty easily there has to be some object that its tied to that's being moved, what the hell could it be.

"Look I just want to talk." I said calmly, hoping to extract some information, I could only harm the thing at this point; there was no immediate way to gank it.

"They all want to talk sweetheart, I don't talk."

"I want to help."

"Help!? Well that's a new one, quite rich indeed, I'm already trapped, what do you think you could even help me with." Dean-spirit thing seethed out. Shit she/he must be pretty dang strong, thing has a firm hold on Dean's meat suit and is pretty capable of expressing itself.

"AHH!" Deans face contorted in pain and his neck twisted back and forth as Sam, thank the damn lord, doused his body in salt, calling me over, to hold him down, as he poured salt into his mouth, causing the spirit to extract itself and disappear into the night as Dean fell over and dragged me down with him, god damnit, fat asshat! Quickly I pushed his rock of a body off of me and he fell softly on his side, while Same quickly bent down over him chanting his name at him several times, nothing happened, shit is he ok, why isn't he coming too. Sam ran a hand through his thin shaggy hair and sighed dejectedly.

"Sorry man, has to be done." Sam mumbled out and then he freaking slapped him, man I would have volunteered for that. Dean's eyes shot open and his instinctively shoved Sam away from him, his hand shooting up to his reddish colored cheek.

"What the actual hell Sam?!" He roared.

"Dean we have to get out of here quick, that thing it could come back and posses someone else, for now, leaving is our best option, I had to get you conscious." Sam replied hurriedly. Dean grumbled a bit, blinked several times, shook his head and then slowly got to his feet all while glaring at Sam.

"Freaking hate when that happens, every time they jumble everything up, rifling through all my shit, its like a freaking brain rape, I feel so violated." Dean complained angrily as he pulled out his pistol from his back pocket and swiftly got it into gear to shoot if need be while shoving Sam behind him angrily. Sam then proceeded to give me a little nudge, to jolt me to attention, because apparently we were sprinting out of the joint.

Back at the hotel Dean was taking pretty large swigs from a bottle of Jack, while Sam continued to grill me on my conversation with the spirit, he apparently had disappeared to get the salt and missed most of our exchange.

"Look I really think it was a chick man." I stressed again to Sam.

"But how? All the members were males, they had to be." Sam said firmly.

"I'm telling you it was a girl, maybe she was a sister or a wife, someone ganked her husband brother whatever, its plausible."

"She did say she wanted someone to experience loss the way she did." Sam quipped back rubbing his chin, that was uncomfortable to recount I modified it a bit to leave out the part about my supposed value to Dean, which was a lie, I knew that, I just did not want to make anything more awkward then it already was. Spirits, demons, creatures all these things love to mess with emotions, I wasn't stupid, I knew that well enough. Dean used people for his own ends that was clear to me, dude was incapable of valuing anyone besides himself and well Sam and Bobby, he did protect his family with all he had, I would give him that, but anyone else was pretty worthless to him it seemed to me, unless he was saving them from a supernatural death. People like me though, ones that knew of the supernatural world, weren't innocent lives, we didn't hold much worth to a guy like Dean.

"Look Sam I know you don't sleep ever, but it's been a long day, I'm tried, can we pick this up in the morning, I'll hit the town records with you again early, we have a more narrow search now, but I need sleep." I said yawning and stretching my arms a bit.

"Yeah sorry, go ahead." He replied, smiling at me softly. I nodded gratefully and padded to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth. I quickly pulled on my normal ratty sweats, and new york giants tee-shirt, washing my face languidly and then lazily brushing my teeth. As I climbed into bed Dean was still seated at the table pouring himself another cup of jack, he downed it pretty swiftly, then, looked up at Sam and motioned towards the door, seriously he was leaving now.

"Yeah ok try not to get brain raped, as you would say, again." Sam replied, I remember that, conversations without words, when you just knew what the other person was thinking. I sighed sadly to myself and curled myself into a tight ball and like always shut my eyes to the blue van, the wide eyes, the screams, the maroon liquid that glided all over, the strong scent of ammonia, and the anger of a thousand eyes. My body shuddered uncontrollably and suddenly I felt a soft stroke on my back, my eyes shot open, Sam.

"You ok?" He asked softly, a lot like Griffith use to.

"Yeah, just memories." I replied honestly, feeling that Sam and I shared something I didn't quite know, yet recognized in his eyes.

"Me too…try to get some rest though." He replied knowingly, and patted my head in a brotherly fashion. He then returned back to his spot at the desk, waving at me jokingly.

"If ya need me, I'll be here."

"Try to sleep too Sam ok." I nodded yawning, "but thanks." I said while grinning a bit, feeling a slight tug of the bond I use to know with Griffith materialize again, but as my eyes shut the van, the eyes, still returned.

I was jostled awake to the familiar smell of booze and firewood, as my eyes softly fluttered open to Dean climbing into bed….half naked, oh hell no, the sleeping together was an understood tragedy, but clothes were required, so not ok.

"Dean, Pants!" I whisper yelled, noticing Sam finally asleep, thank god.

"Hmm" He grunted out, clearly intoxicated.

"Pants now." I complained again.

"No I don't like pants after sex." What the actual hell?!

"What the hell! Get out of this bed right now, and shower you cannot be serious!" I cried still whispering will shoving him with all my might, thoroughly disgusted. Thanks to his intoxication, he was easier to roll and less aware so I was able to push his repulsive germ infested body off the bed. UH I didn't even wanna sleep here now that is so unbelievably gross. Wait why isn't he screaming at me or fighting back? I peered over the bed to find him passed out on the floor, hah serves him right, he can stay there. And then that annoying little voice in my head piped up and made me feel all bad and crap so unfortunately for me and my bitcher side, I climbed out of the bed placed a pillow underneath his head and draped a quilt over him, good enough right. I then proceeded to wash my hands, and climbed back into my side of the bed while creating a wall of pillows blocking me from rolling onto his side into the land of the gift that keeps on giving, lovely.

"Caroline…Caroline…..CAROLINE!" Huh what now Meredith I'm sleeping, wait no not Meredith? My eyes opened to find Dean towering over me clearly annoyed; what was his problem now?

"what you want?" I mumbled out groggily.

"why was I tucked in on the floor and what is this frickin wall of pillows doing on the bed."

"you…gross…sleep." I mumbled out nearing the land of dreams again.

"Oh no, no, no, my back is killing, my neck feels like it was put through the ringer, you are not just going back to sleep."

"mm watch me." I whispered out groggily cuddling into my pillow.

"stupid, infuriating, little cute spitball of a pain in my ass." I half heard him mumble, wait cute what? No I heard wrong back to sleepland. The colors behind my eyes swirled together into black and I felt the void pull me back in, back into the white van and red emergency lights.

…..

"Dean she probably threw you out of the bed cause you got in there after having sex, moron, that's kind of gross."

"Ok Mr. clean, but how did she find out?"

"You really aren't too private when you are inebriated" uh could they keep it down and hah Sam always drew the right conclusions, but I'm trying to sleep here.

"She really pisses me off." Dean grumbled, "I wanna send her to Bobby's now. I can't take it anymore!"

"Dean shut up, you just don't like that you can't just get with her like every other girl, she's restricted and its driving you mad.' Wait what no back up.

"What, no, Sam are you out of your frickin mind this is more insane then when you claimed that Becky was your soul mate! She's screwed up man." Hey what the hell!

"I was drugged jerk, and oh and you're just perfectly normal, keeping it all inside, you're just dandy never talking about anything you feel, just letting it sit and fester."

"Sam, we talked about this I'm fine seriously I don't need a feelings circle damnt, and I definitely don't wanna get with the fire breathing dragon." What an asshat.

"Yeah ok Dean, and thin line between love and hate man thin line. And at least ease up on her, she's definitely been through a lot try to have some empathy."

"There is no line because there is zero attraction. And so have we Sam, and we don't go around acting like stuck up prisses all the time ok." I was no diva, what the hell is his issue I thought we came to a truce!

"Oh ok Dean, that's why when you first met her your jaw nearly unhinged and almost every guy she passes gets some serious whiplash, no attraction whatsoever. And like you aren't in a doomsday mood perpetually." Huh…I don't give guys whiplash, I'm pretty average.

"Enough Sam, just enough ok, why can't we ever just do our job without you making everyone freakin share and care!"

"Fine Dean have it your way…it'll blow up sooner or later."

"Yeah well I wish that touchy feely part of your brain would freakin blow up and leave me alone." Dean grumbled out and I heard his feet distinctly clomp into the bathroom and then the door slammed. Whatever its still early I'm going back to bed, plus its too risky to wake up now and hint that I may have heard that conversation. The blue van was better than that at this point.

I woke up for the thousandth time that morning to someone stroking my hair, oh what the hell. I felt weight on the other side of the bed, heard a soft humming…Metallica, and the scent of firewood was present…Dean.

"You are something else." He mumbled out as he tucked a stray hair behind my ear…did he not realize this was creepy.

"I guess I just, I'm sorry for being so hard on you, I'm hard on Sam too, I have to be, you guys have to be able to handle reality, I have to look out for you two, and toughening you up makes us all safer." He softly confessed…so he did care, he wasn't heartless or selfish. He was still cocky and surly though for sure.

"You really cannot handle yourself your way too fragile, you think you're tough just like Jo did." I am tough and wait who the hell is Jo?

"I can't let what happened to Jo happen to you, Ellen trusted me like your mom trusts me, I just, I cant. I cant go through that again." What was he talking about? Who was Jo, Ellen, how was I anything like them? However the clear emotion and pain in his voice pulled at that stupid voice in my head once again, his breath was labored, and I couldn't just lie there anymore, the voice wouldn't just shut up. So, I quietly rolled myself over and propped my head onto his chest while intertwining my arms around him. He didn't stiffen, or move, or even flinch, he just wound his arms around me and for a moment we understood each other, we silently came to an agreement and I softly traced shapes on the bare of his stomach where his shirt had ridden up in efforts to comfort him, as he traced spirals onto the hollow of my neck. And for a moment I felt a spark, a spark of emotion, of bond, of loyalty, of something I would inevitably run from when I had the chance. And once again I was lulled to sleep, but not quite before I heard him mumble the word beautiful.