Note from the Author: Just to preface this chapter: I decided to change the timeline of this story I want it to be sometime in the middle/beginning of season 10 so from Dean's return to humanity onward which is when the boys take a small hiatus from hunting and then are more focused on just working cases. I know I make a few mentions of Bobby in the story, who by switching the timeline will tragically not be alive, which really kills me, but it makes more sense. And until I can clean up those references I just wanted to let you know they will probably be in reference to other hunters that are still alive and the boys still work with maybe even Garth, pushing the idea that he has started hunting on the side as a werewolf. So if the mark of Cain and other things start to get mentioned in this chapter I just wanted to make sure you guys knew I was tweaking the timeline so it made sense and you weren't like what is happening. Thanks for reading guys I really appreciate it any comments you have would be amazing, and I hope you enjoy it!

Chapter 7- Lose Your Appetite for Self-Destruction

The low and deep rumbles from the band a few feet away filled my ears as I attempted to block out the background noise of drunken bar crawlers, their slurred speech and pounding of empty beer and shot glasses against the worn wood, signaling to the tenders and waitresses that they were ready for another round. We were suppose to be celebrating, Dean, Sam, me and this angel dude named Castiel we were waiting on, one last hooray before we kicked our plan into high-gear. Honestly as much as the eyes of creeps raking over my body and the chirps of desperate females trying to seek out a one night mate made me want to be pound my head against the sticky bar, I was grateful for the escape, for the prospect of getting a little loaded and forgetting the shit I had to face over the next few weeks. I had actually attempted to look like a chick tonight, I guess every once in a while it was nice to feel like I belonged in this universe, like every other poor sap in here, just passing some time in a crowded dive before the next boring day at the office. I tugged a bit at my blue oyster cult tank top, it hugged my small frame in all the right places, and hey with a pushup bra, my naturally smaller chest appeared a bit fuller. My honey blonde hair was pulled back in my traditional messy half up half down pony, I had actually bothered to blow it out for once and took the time to fill the piercings which lined my earlobes with studs. I had three piercings on my left ear, one being my cartilage the other two on my lobe, and five on my right ear simply going up my earlobe. Generally I only wore earrings in my cartilage piercing and the doubles on each of my lobes, but tonight I figured why not change it up. I had not worn all of them like that since my last year of law school, wasn't exactly respectable for an attorney to be jacked with piercings at a trial, in front of a judge. I had chosen my tightest pair of black jeans with the rip in the knee and of course my worn and rustic lace up boots, which were a distressed cognac color. And to top it all of I even threw on some make up but it was just a natural dusting, nothing drastic or god forbid cakey, just a few things to accent my check bones, slender nose, and large hazel-gold eyes. I clasped Griffith's dog tag in my fingers, which was tucked away in my front jean pocket, I felt it graze and vibrate against my several rings as metal rubbed against metal. I sighed and propped my elbow up on the bar peering at Sam impatiently.

"Where are they?" I complained like a small petulant child, and Sam chuckled easily.

"They will be here soon Cas and Dean just had some things to discuss on the way over, and Cas is always well late I guess, dude says he's going to materialize at one time and appears at another, generally hours later than expected."

"I really don't like angels or punctual people so I guess those cancel each other out and I'll attempt to be nonbiased toward this addition to the Ghostbusters."

"Will you stop calling us that, and please no more with the Buffy as well and why am I buffy?" Sam chattered along with humor and slight bit of offense to his tone, and I laughed in response.

"Personality archetypes Buffy fits you better, Van-Helsing and Dean are one in the same, man." I replied crossing one leg over the other easily casting a sidelong glace and smirk at Sam.

"You're ridiculous, how about a round while were waiting." I perked up at the sound of that.

"Sounds like a plan to me. Double shot of tequila, I can do without a lime wedge, but I would prefer one."

"Going straight for the good stuff?" He inquired raising an eyebrow at me.

"Actually no, I always drink tequila something I picked up in college, the taste was I don't know smoother, and I guess it just stuck. If I was going straight for the stuff that would force you to carry me out of here, whiskey would be the choice."

"Interesting, let me grab a bar tender, hold on." Sam turned toward the bar and I watched him trying to signal one of the scantly clad girls behind the bar over to us, and I chuckled he was so awkward around women sometimes, it was endearing. And then a pair of the clearest blue eyes I had ever seen locked on mine, the guy had a messy yet well kept head of thick dark hair and gazed at me with complete purpose, he was wearing a trench coat. He wore a trench coat to a dive-bar seriously, I mean he looked to be in his late thirties at least, but still a trench coat really? And then within seconds he was before me reaching out his hands.

"I'm Castiel, it's interesting to finally meet you Caroline." Well this dude was direct and super formal, I mean I knew he was a pretty high up angel at one point, from what Sam had told me. Apparently he lead some revolution, went a bit angel psycho, ended up in purgatory just chilling with some murderous rage, came back, lost his mojo or whatever as Dean called it became human, got it back and yeah had been trying to help restore heaven and earth's order for a bit, pretty boring dude if you ask me.

"Not really into angels, but yeah nice to meet you too."

"I'm not the biggest fan of my kind either, but you cannot chose your origins." Then I felt Sam's body swing around he smiled broadly pulling the dude into a large hug patting him on the back in a brotherly fashion.

"Sam its good to see you."

"Cas, good to have you back, where's Dean?" he inquired, yeah where is that lug he had been better in the last few days as we had been prepping for the plan not pushing me for more information, thank god.

"Oh yes that, he bumped into some blonde woman outside, I figured it would be better if I left them to themselves, I've heard most of his pickup lines at this point, figured it was a better use of my time to find the both of you." Without even thinking I grimaced and then rolled my eyes trying to cover up the expression of the strange annoyance I had just felt.

"Caroline, are you upset?" This dude what the hell how did he even catch that.

"Huh, no, what, why would I be upset?" I inquired widening my eyes trying to feign confusion.

"You appeared uncomfortable you made an expression when I mentioned Dean's location." He responded flatly no emotion, no implications, just straight observations, this guy/angel or whatever sure was a bit odd.

"I mean, I, oh I bumped my funny bone just a second ago so probably was from that." I replied trying to play it off.

"Funny bone, uh I'm not sure I know exactly what you mean." Castiel trailed off a bit confused.

"Seriously that's your excuse." Sam snorted at me while smirking in this knowing way.

"What do you mean excuse Buffy? It isn't an excuse what is wrong with you, where's my shot anyhow?" I glared at him pointedly.

"You are a piss-poor liar Caroline, but hey it stays between you and I. Here's your shot." He smiled at me handing me my double shot that had been resting on the bar while he grabbed his own shot, touché.

"What stays between us? You make no sense Goliath, lets just take this shot, stop trying to pussyfoot around it, hey angelboy you want one."

"Seriously Goliath?" Sam glared at me, not appearing to take a liking to his new nickname, hey, he said to stop calling him Buffy, at least I had something to interchange it with now, I would never actually stop calling him Buffy.

"Yup, suits your height obviously, but I'm trying to offer mister social skills over here a drink so stop interrupting, enjoy your new nickname."

"Alchol, hm, when I was human I did enjoy a beer, but now I can taste each molecule its quite disgusting in all honesty." Angelboy replied appearing to be seriously mulling over the decision.

"You do not enjoy a shot, you just swing it back, its quick and over, not a long drink like a beer, come on at least have one to toast to our meeting." I jabbered on quickly wanting to move off of Sam's weird implications and plus I just liked when everyone got hammered together, you see sides of people or angels in regard to this dude, who needed to loosen up a bit, that normally you wouldn't it was fun, Castiel shrugged in agreement and I grinned excitedly.

"Hey bartender one more over here please!" I called out easily.

"Sure thing dear." She replied shooting Sam a flirty gaze that immediately made him flush a tinge of pink as she easily slide another double down the bar and into my waiting hand.

"Alright boys, I propose a toast of course." I called out languidly lifting my glass as Sam easily lifted his and Castiel finally caught on and mirrored us raising his as well.

"To Alcohol, the Ghostbusters, and of course family." A little humor a little touchy feely that's what good toasts where made of. I laughed and clinked my glass with the boys as I watched Castiel finally make heads of tails of my Ghostbuster reference and smile quite innocently for an angel if you ask me. I was the first to throw back my shot, no burn, just a little bit of a bite afterword, and as I finished mine off I chuckled as Castiel was still tipping his back a bit shakily, definitely not a seasoned pro like Sam and I who were already finished and calling for another round.

About an Hour Later

"I refuse, I do not care that this my seventh shot, and my vision is a bit more lucid, yeah that's the word lucid, such a great word. Oh wait what was I saying oh yeah, I refuse to do karaoke." I shouted playfully at Sam while banging my hand against the bar. Sam's eyes were warmer now and his face was a bit flushed, he had quite a few more than me, but hey he was a giant. He playfully shoved my shoulder.

"Come on give us your greatest rendition of Eye of the Tiger." He drunkenly demanded.

"Hah no, no, no no, and no. Why don't you get up their flip your little swooshy hair all Justin Bieber like and sing some Brittany." I quipped back laughing fully. Sam's nose wrinkled in disgust.

"Please do not compare my hair to that prepubescent man-child."

"Sorry, but if you have the swoosh, you have the swoosh, there's no cure or escape." My gaze swung to the unnervingly sober Castiel, and my mouth went agape in an annoyed fashion.

"How are you sober isn't this your twelfth shot?" I cried incredulously.

"Caroline, angels really cannot become intoxicated, unless we were to per say drink the contents of an entire liquor store." He stated matter of fact as Sam chuckled.

"So get this, Cas did that one time. Just in case you wanted to know."

"I was in a very vulnerable state it was a dark time for me." Castiel replied quite seriously and I just was to silly to be serious so I laughed, I could not help it and Cas just rolled his baby blues eyes at me and then finally the green, there they were those green eyes, that made my body feel all warm and tingly, and not from alcohol, just from emotions and attraction that were easier to comprehend and accept in this state. He then proceeded to clap Castiel on the shoulder and chuckle deeply at my antics.

"Look who decided to grace us with his presence." Sam drawled out sarcastically.

"Caroline are you trying to take advantage of Sammy, it looks like you got him pretty hammered. And Cas you may be sober, but you reek of booze so I figure Fido over here got everyone in on the celebrations and toasts to our doom and destruction." He replied easily ruffling my hair a bit, to which I responded by sticking my tongue out at him childishly.

"Very mature Caroline, exactly the skills we are going to need out on the field." He laughed darkly.

"Yeah, Yeah whatever, I'm going to get another you in Sam?" I stated excitedly as I placed either arms on the side of his broad body, dancing from one foot to the other impatiently in front of him.

"You got it pipsqueak." He drawled in a joking fashion as he easily swung an arm around my neck and swayed us side to side jokingly as we headed to the bar humming some Van Morrison song to me in an exaggerated fashion, and I vaguely heard Dean laughing and calling for us to wait up.

"No, no, no, no, not that you are not a wonderful being or anything, but we would like that brunette bartender over there, the one wearing the cute little flannel, my friend Sammy here, he's feeling it." I drunkenly explained to the cute male bartender who was attempting to wait on us and appeared to be very amused by me. Sam swatted me clearly still embarrassed in his drunken state, hah wittle baby Sammy, Sam.

"How about this gorgeous, I wait on you, and I'll get Amber to wait on your buddy." I was pretty drunk, much more flirty than normal and well he was cute totally my type, broad, muscular, thick light brown hair, and beautiful hooded hazel eyes, I was into it, for the moment.

"Sure thing, that works." I replied easily smirking at him and trying to lean over the bar in an enticing way I guess, popping my hip out a bit. He winked at me and then walked towards the brunette I knew I could convince Sam to go home with.

"Alright Sam its time to get your game face on." I started swinging my body towards him, but I was not only met by his drunken stare, I was also met by Deans as well which was much more sober and a bit tense.

"Oh look its van-helsing, look do not mess with Sammy's game this one is for him ok." I challenged placing my hands on my hips, staring down, my favorite rival.

"No problemo Fido, but wanna tell me what exactly you're doing."

"Hmm little old me. Nothing just being a wing-woman to my buddy here and getting a drink." I replied easily sliding back under Sam's brotherly half-hug, peering up at him, looking for support, but his eyes were wide and held a strange emotion some type of concern, he must be able to sense something about Dean that I could not.

"Hey little lady, you ready for that drink." Oh hot bartender is calling; I easily slipped out of Sam's brotherly embrace and strode easily over to where good looking man was leaning on the other side of the bar.

"Well that depends, on whether you'll have one with me or not." I replied coyly as I watched Sam out of the corner of my eye sweetly and a bit clumsily flirt with the brunette. However my little game was interrupted by the smell of mint and firewood.

"Hey buddy, I'll take one of whatever she's having and of course I'm buying." What the hell, Dean was totally cramping my style right now, I could totally see the guy become confused and uncomfortable now unsure as to whether I was with this lug head or not, did I want him to think I was with this lug head, did I want to be with this lug head, shit, screw this.

"Yeah sure no problem man." He easily started to walk away, to prep the doubles I ordered.

"Yo Dean get out of here." I whispered yelled, not wanting to have to face whatever it was I felt towards him instead choosing to get involved with someone else even if just for the evening. I mean, I was not one for causal sex, to be honest I had only been with Bryson, for a long time I thought I was saving myself for the person I would marry, but Bryson he kind of screwed me out of that. However. I was down to make out with this guy nothing more, just see if I felt a spark with any guy I was attracted to so I could just chalk up that weird electricity I had with Dean to animalistic attraction and nothing else.

"And let mister I get girls drunk and naked for a living, have his way with you, I don't think so.'" He replied gruffly possessively wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Get your hands off of me." I growled darkly at him, my entire body was on fire, and that electricity was humming and swirling sweeping through my body quickly and wildly as I drew out a shaky breath. All of sudden Cas was there, about to speak, but then he noticed Dean's hands and my waist.

"Wait are you two in relations." He inquired awkwardly, what the fuck, relations seriously.

"God no, Dean is just a caveman." I bit out angrily trying to wriggle out of Dean's tight yet secure grasp.

"She's infuriating, I don't know how we have not killed each other yet." Dean added.

"Yeah well he thinks he is some authoritative god figure who can tell everyone what to do all the time." I replied caustically, aiming the remark at Cas, who held his hands up in front of him as to suggest this was not his fight.

"Worst attitude ever, you think I'm stubborn, that I don't know when to quit you should hang out with her for a few hours, she'll drive you insane in the worst way." He then gripped my waist and swiveled me roughly so that I was facing him and his eyes burned into mine angrily.

"He has an addictive and slightly obsessive personality especially in the areas of liquor, cheap skanks, and making love to his stupid baby also known as his car." Then his eyes blazed.

"Did you just call my baby stupid, do not mess with my wheels!" He glared down at me so we were nose to nose.

"What you can't hear now too, yeah your B-A-B-Y is Stupid. Old hunk of junk." I articulated roughly, I only was saying it to get a rise out of him to feel the electricity pulse and hum and come to life. I actually loved his car it was antique, my dad use to fix up antique cars, but no matter I had pressed all the wrong buttons.

"You self-serving, stuck-up, prissy, stubborn little brat." He taunted grabbing my wrists roughly, challenging me to say something else, anything else to push him over the edge, but what the edge would give way to I was not quite sure, but the tension damn you could cut it with a knife.

"I think you should back up." Uh oh bad move hot bartender, bad move.

"Excuse me." Dean replied brusquely letting go of me and pushing me protectively behind him as he strode up dominantly into the bartenders face, in the distance I could hear Sam curse, as my drunken haze started to lift and the ensuing events began to sober me up slightly, but not really all that much.

"I think you should leave the girl alone." The bartender challenged getting up in Dean's face in response, worse move.

"You think I should leave her alone." He chuckled darkly. "You were the one attempting to jump her bones from behind the bar, so I think you're the one who should stay far away from her."

"She was responding to me buddy, now you she definitely is not interested in." He replied taunting Dean with a smirk trying to embarrass and agitate him. He went too far though, suddenly something snapped I saw Dean's jaw tightened and a vein in his neck pulse, and before the pop and the crunch I watched his knuckle clench and then he threw the nastiest punch I had seen in a while and all hell broke loose, without Crowley and demons for once. Girls screamed, guys joined in, attempting to pick sides some going at each other or other male bartenders, and Dean and that hot guy were a blur, and I became frantic. Suddenly I felt Sam grasp my forearm and shove me towards Castiel.

"Get her out of here, I'll find him." Sam replied quite seriously for someone who was pretty drunk just a few moments ago. With barely any choice and a state of shock hovering over me I stumbled out of the bar as Castiel towed me along with a gentle hold I was not used to. He was kind of endearing, and in that moment I decided he was the only angel I liked. Several minutes later, although it felt like hours to me, Sam emerged, towing an angry and hostile Dean by his collar. Dean, oh my god, his eye was swollen his jaw was already turning black and blue and his knuckles were bloody and taut with scrapes and cuts all over. Thus with absolutely zero thought process and a little help from my old friend alcohol I launched myself at Dean, pushing Sam out of the way, and clambering up into Dean's arms roughly wrapping myself around him, burying my head into his chest. At first his only response was a tense "oof" which indicated to me that I had caused him a bit of discomfort perhaps due to a bruised rib or something broken and that made me even more apprehensive, and of course in my drunken state instead of loosening up my grip I held on tighter concerned and distraught, wanting to take his pain, to heal him, to keep him with me like some small selfish little girl. His arms slowly and bit chaotically wrapped around me in response I could feel his confusion. I felt him breathe heavily and erratically as he held me and then I heard murmurs behind us and one voice mutter that they should leave us be for a moment, probably Castiel, and finally I registered on large footsteps walking away from us.

"I'm sorry." I whispered hoarsely. "I always do this, I always just rile people up. That's why Bryson used to hit me, it was my fault, like now, I'm just doing it again I don't learn." I rambled on the liquid courage allowing me to share these wounds with him. At the mention of Bryson's name though Deans entire demeanor changed his breathing stopped, he went rigid and he pulled me gently out of the comfort of his chest and stared at me in a very alarmed yet determined fashion.

"Caroline, no, Bryson should have never laid a single finger on you, ever. That was in no way your fault, he was, he is an animal sweetheart, and if I ever get my hands on him, which I will, I swear to god, I'm gonna rip his lungs out, I will end that son of a bitch, he's a dead man walking. I never want to hear you say something like that again, do you understand me." There was a fire burning behind Dean's eyes and some type of murderous rage I could not quite understand, why did he want to hurt Bryson this much, kill him, for me? But I still felt that guilt, that gnawing awareness that Bryson knew what I was, and what I deserved.

"No, No Dean you don't understand I deserved all that, this, that everything its all my fault, I'm a dark mark, an omen, don't you get that, that's why Griffith was chosen and not me I'm the fallen sibling, the fallen twin, you have to understand." I pleaded with him as my voice broke, and his eyes the emotion and warmth and fire just keep rolling and changing within them as he processed what I said.

"Caroline, no you are none of those things god damnit, that son of a bitch really did a number on you didn't he." Then he cupped my face in a sort of reverent yet affectionate fashion it was confusing, but I didn't fully register on it cause I still needed him to understand.

"No Dean it was before then, I've been marked for a long time, long before Bryson when I was sixteen."

"You are not marked, don't you dare say that, are you hearing me. Look my job has always been to watch out for my little brother, my pain in the ass little brother, to take care of him because were family. And, someone who always watched over me told me that family don't end with blood and maybe it don't always start there either. And you, me, Cas, and Sam are family blood or not, so I'm going to watch over you too, take care of you and don't think for a second that you are not as much of a pain in my ass as Sam, you may be worse. But I, look I've screwed up a lot, I've failed so many people and things, especially the ones I care about the most, but I swear, this time, I wont I'm not going to fail Sam or Cas or….you, not you, I'm going to take care of you." Dean crushed me into his body as he finished his body shook a bit and I just nodded, I couldn't respond I did not know how to. I had not felt that much commitment that much protection since my mother had a soul honestly.

My hands shakily gripped the opening of his old button down shirt and I lifted my head from his chest slowly. And maybe it was the alcohol or the weight of his words, but I didn't really care either way I wanted to feed the hum to start an electricity storm let it spark and rumble and explode. So I craned my neck up slightly and butterflied my lips against his softly, then questioning my own actions self consciously I attempted to pull away and hide my face, but instead I was met with and shocked by him grasping me towards him needy and aggressive and then he crashed his lips down onto mine passionately, instinctively, inherently as if I was made just for him.

The kisses grew deeper and needier and the electricity swarmed around us crackling in the air, inside my body, and inside his as we fed off of it and fueled the fire and the passion we had created around us. I could feel the charge in the air as I swept my fingers through his hair grasping at the ends and I heard a low groan emit from the back of his throat in response. He quickly pulled away from my lips moving down to his ghost his lips at the base of my neck teasing and nipping, until he unexpectedly bit down marking me, with his own chosen mark, his territory, I gasped at the contact and shivered. I grasped at his hair once again trying to get him to reattach his full rough lips back on mine. He kissed up my neck following the pulls of my wrists back up to my bitten and swollen lips, but not before he placed tender kisses across the expanse of my small jaw. He ceased cupping my face to tangle his fingers through my hair as his kisses grew more frenzied and encompassing his tongue begging for entrance which I easily complied with as shots of fire and tingles shot through my belly and down below. Finally he let up to give us a moment to breathe, as my breath came out shallow, frantic, and heated, he wasted no time, swiftly cupping my ass and lifting me up to him as I unconsciously wrapped my legs around him and finally looked up to really see him and to try to understand what was happening. His green eyes burned with need, passion, adoration and other things I could not place or understand.

"Dean ,I, if this is just for now, I cant, I wont be able to." I formed some type of incoherent thought, trying to find some answers and convey to Dean that I did not do one night stands that this had to mean something more or it had to just stop, fizzle out, although I do not know how you kill this kind of burn, this kind of electricity.

"It's not it never would be, I've been fighting it since I first saw you, just trying to protect you, us, but I just son of bitch I can't." He seemed to be grappling with himself, waging some type of internal war, but he seemed to push it away as he crashed his lips onto mine again, and though the passion was burning up my core and the need was eating my body alive I realized we were in the parking lot of a dive bar and Castiel and Sam probably saw this entire thing and suddenly I was painfully aware of how uhm well caught up in each other we were and how shy I actually could be. So I pulled away from Dean franticly and in a jumpy manner with my eyes wide and my cheeks flushed not just from the heated make out session, and then I registered on the fact that Dean had hardened against me and I grew even more timid and embarrassed as I scrambled off of him and back onto the concrete, shakily. My legs feeling a bit like those of Gumby and each of my nerves were still shooting off electric bolts and zaps continuously warming my body with passion and desire.

"Caroline what's wrong, come on sweetheart please don't run on me again, look I get that this doesn't make much sense."

"No Dean, its not that, its just well parking lot, Sam and Castiel, this is just not the time or place." I stated much more sober than before reaching my arms around my waist to wrap myself in a comforting manner as I grew more and more embarrassed and aware.

"Oh shit yeah ok, I'm sorry sweetheart, I just I don't know shit, I'm sorry." He rambled on swerving his head about looking around as he dug his hands into his pockets a bit sheepish. He approached me again, dominate waves of possession rolling off of him, but his expression was much softer, concerned.

"Are you ok, Fido, I didn't mean to get all chick flick on you." I laughed a bit as I saw him give me a bit of self-conscious stare.

"Dean, for once, the fluff was ok, and was well clearly returned, I would just prefer not to make a porno in the parking lot."

"Actually I did see this Asian porno once that took place in a parking lot damn it was something else." His mind seemed to drift off into fetish land as I rolled my eyes.

"Seriously Dean totally unnecessary, jeez."

"Oh shit yeah, did I say that aloud, yeah totally not the time for that son of a bitch." Vulnerable and embarrassed Dean was pretty entertaining.

"Come on lets find Goliath and angelboy." I quipped tucking myself under his arm easily as I scanned the parking lot for the other two boneheads, as he chuckled at my nicknames, hey at least someone appreciated my creativity.

….

The four of us rode silently along in the Impala, we were headed for some bunker, or as Dean called it, the bat cave, what a weirdo, mhmm my weirdo, shit Caroline stop being a girly priss jeez. Anyway, apparently it would be the safest place for us now that the boys had wrapped up that other smaller case and we had collected most of the items we would need. My poor Volvo had been left in the care of another hunter we met up with before leaving who would fix it up and then meet up with us to return it when it was ruining again. I nervously picked at my fingernails as I felt Castiel's gaze on me. I also could see Sam run his hands throw his swoosh hair as I had deemed it as well as steal glances at Dean and smirk, as Dean glared back at him.

"I don't understand." Castiel stated bluntly, oh god no. Dean peered into his mirror trying to direct a glare at angelboy, but it did not help.

"Why would you guys deny having relations when you clearly have been having them." I groaned and dropped my head in my hands embarrassedly, as I heard Sam snort and then laugh deeply.

"We didn't." I replied my voice muffled by my hands.

"Yeah it just happened in the parking lot." Dean added.
"Wait you had relations in the parking lot just now that was quite quick, well actually Dean did show me a video some time ago of a similar nature that occurred in a parking lot."
"Cas!" Dean yelled out banging his hand on the steering wheel, as Sam turned his face away from Dean completely cracking up at Castiel's inquiries. My face burned in shame.

"Angelboy we did not have those types of relations as you call it in the parking lot, there was no porno time, my god, has everyone seen that one or something." I muttered exasperatedly while hitting my head against my headrest.

"Just everyone in this car because Dean insisted on showing it to everyone." Sam quipped still laughing.

"Oh for the love of pie! Cram it you asshat." Dean shot at Sam.

"For the love of pie, seriously Dean?"

"Do I look like I'm joking?" Dean bit out.

"I still do not understand the relations in the parking lot." Castiel broke in once again.

"For the love of god, we made out Castiel nothing else do you comprehend now, est-ce que tu comprends?" I shot angrily in French just because I don't know I was pissed and annoyed, plus I spent a semester in Paris and had taken French since high school thus I was fluent and sometimes it just came out.

"You speak French?" Angelboy inquired interestedly and clearly onto the next topic of discussion.

"This is going to be a long freaking ride, don't you have like places to fly, prayers to answer."

"Not really in the prayer business anymore, but I found as a human I enjoyed long rides, found them calming, and I need sometime to think and just listen to the angel radio, and this is as good of a place as any." He replied contentedly.

"Why, just why is this happening to me." I cried exasperatedly banging my head against the back of Dean's seat, as Sam continued to laugh at this ridiculous situation.

"Fido, watch the leather."

"Bite me."

"Anytime, anytime."

"Lame." I shot back.

"Are you having what they call a lovers spat?" Castiel questioned quite seriously and Dean groaned.

"Ok angelboy, we are going to play a little game its called who can stay fucking quiet the longest, so no talking, no thinking about talking, no nothing." I stated and I heard Dean's low warm chuckle.

"But."

"Ah, no talking." I quipped placing my hand on Castiel's mouth to silence him and finally he nodded rolled his blue eyes at me and preceded to drift off into his own thoughts as he gazed out the window. Finally peace and quiet, I did not even give Sam the satisfaction of swinging a glance his way so he could smirk at me or whatever, instead I pointedly shut my eyes and waited to drift off to the sound of Metallica.

…

During the last few hours of the trip the boys had blindfolded me, saying it was not due to a lack of trust, but rather a simple precaution because of the nature of our plan and their concern about the location ever being revealed by force or mistake. I had fought them on it a bit, but in the end I realized I might be safer with the lack of information in regards to the location of the bat cave. When we were finally inside the bunker, Sam retreated to his room saying he was going to shower, and angelboy conveniently decided to fly off, why he could not do that during the car ride I will never understand. Nonetheless, it was just Dean and I. Dean easily gripped my hand and tossed both our bags over his broad shoulder as he led me down a brightly light hallway that reminded me of a more glamorous world war II bunker or bomb shelter. He easily pushed open a heavy door to what I assumed was his room. Several weapons, some ancient and barbaric looking sat stacked and mounted on one of his walls, his bed was not enormous but it was not a simple twin either and it was backed against the back wall and neatly made, hmm Dean kept his room neat, interesting. What caught my eye , however, was a faded photo that sat on his desk of a beautiful blonde woman with her arms tightly wrapped up around a young boy with matching blonde locks cut into a classic bowl cut, whose resemblance to Dean was uncanny. Her smile was broad, warm, and inviting and little Dean was all hooded eyes and lanky clearly at ease and simply loved and adored by this woman, I could not help by run my finger across it tenderly and I heard Dean's breathing hitch.

"Sorry I did not mean to invade your privacy."

"Uh no its fine, that's my mom and I, when I was kid. You know my Dad and her sometimes they would fight and one time I don't know my dad left for a few days, I knew he would be back. In my head, it was so simple, I knew he loved my mom so he would come back and that's what I told her, and he did comeback just like I said, but things, never stay that easy, it always becomes more complicated." Dean sighed running a hand through his hair ghosting his hand down my back softly. And finally I asked him what I had been dying to know, the story of his mom, why Sam blamed himself often, what had actually happened. And he told me, no qualms, no defense mechanism, no aggressive response, he told me about the demon yellow eyes as they deemed him, his mother burning on the ceiling, Sam drinking demon blood and somewhere along the lines and the words and the pain I felt for him I realized that maybe him and I were not all that different than I had thought, both forced into lives we could never chose or control intentionally, both trying desperately to right wrongs, to patch up wounds anyway we could, protect our families. When he stopped for a breath after finishing telling me about escaping purgatory I took his hands in mine softly and looked up at him.

"Dean lets go to bed." I stated simply looking to give him refuge, rest, a place to escape.

"Caroline you know that's only a short synopsis of all the shit I've got stowed there's a hell of a lot more to tell unfortunately."

"And we have a hell of a lot time to rehash it, I want to know Dean, I want to share it with you, but too much at once sometimes it feels easier to just reveal it all in one shot, but it knocks you on your ass it reopens too much."

"Yeah, hey do you need a t-shirt?" He said easily shifting topics and masking his raw emotion he was pretty decent at that, much like me, I smiled and stroked the stubble on his chin softly.

"I do not need one, but I would like one to be honest." He grinned.

"Sure thing Fido." He replied easily grabbing a large white undershirt from his small dresser by his bed as I rolled my eyes at the nickname.

"Thanks asshat." I quipped back as he threw it towards me, I instantly caught wind of the smell of firewood and mint that was still present in the fabric.

"Wow after all this caring and sharing and feelings time we've had you hit me with that, wow right through the heart baby."

"Oh shut up, now turn around." I demanded as I unbuttoned my jeans.

"Wait for real?" He stated like a child that was just denied candy.

"Yes for real now turn around, and no peaking Winchester, I'm not daft you know."

"So hot when you're all demanding." He stated raising an eyebrow at me and giving me a heated stare.

"Sorry Casanova but still no. Now turn your ass around."

"Fine!" He gave in turning his back to me as I quickly changed into his t-shirt and my boy shorts, surprised that he had acted like a complete gentlemen for once with not even a single attempt to steal a glance.

"Alright all good." I called out.

"Well I'm just going to strip, look all you want babe." He quipped, winking at me, while proceeding to pull down his jeans.

"Dean!" I cried completely embarrassed as I spun around, tightly shutting my eyes.

"And I thought I was adorable, you definitely have beaten me." He chuckled clearly amused. A few moments later I felt two strong arms wrap around me and lips graze the top of my head.

"Come on I'm dressed don't worry, lets go to bed, my mattress is memory foam, plus there are no stains, no weird smells, and you will be the first and only girl to ever share it with me." He whispered softly and affectionately in my ear.

"Fine, you big man baby."

"For the final time I am not a man baby or a man child or whatever else you claim." He sighed as he walked me to his bed arms still wrapped around me.

"Man baby, man baby, man baby." I taunted darkly while laughing.

"Now you've done it!' He cried playfully as he swept me up bridal style and dumped me on his bed proceeding to flop down after me and begin a tickle war.

"No more, no more I surrender!" I coughed and laughed at the same time as my ribs ached and I writhed all about trying to escape his tickle ambushes.

"Good, now if you excuse me I need to catch up on my beauty sleep." He replied, easily molding himself into the big spoon and wrapping the covers and himself securely around me as he placed a soft kiss behind my ear and the top of my back as he snuggled into me. I easily closed my eyes and could feel sleep begin to call of course signaled by the tension that started to creep up my body, but just like he did since that first time he felt me tense he easily began to draw languid shapes across my back trying to ease my muscles. I felt my body loosen a bit as the blue van still drove against my closed lids, but at least I had other things to focus on now beside the blue van like the feeling of Dean's fingers ghosting across my body, easing my stress. and anxiety as well as my need to challenge him and of course get the last word, thus before sleep found me completely I muttered more to myself than anyone, "Man-Baby," and smiled contently clearly pleased with myself, even half asleep.

"I heard that Fido." He quipped back, pulling me closer a bit roughly while ghosting kisses across the base of my neck as I snuggled closer and intertwined my fingers with his. Did I fully trust Dean, no, did I think that was my greatest idea, no, but there was no denying the security I inherently felt laying there in his arms. Maybe in the morning light this would throw me for a loop like no other and the adrenaline high I had been cruising on would plummet and shatter this portrait. I just for once could not curb my emotions and I wanted to be impulsive. I could never give Dean my soul or my full self, we would never really be together or united, that was not our future. No, Dean and Sam, I may hold fond feelings for them, but they were simply a means to an end, a stepping stone to Griffith, and right now I needed them, but in the end I would leave just like all the other times. The kiss, the admission of feelings it changed nothing I knew that. It would never change anything Dean and I would never be forever, but right now I needed and wanted the security his embrace brought. Soon enough these would just be memories, floating around my mind, not bad ones though, just a time when I felt safety. And Dean he made the dreams bearable, and those dreams had been plaguing me for years, he was the only person who had ever made them ease up, so why not take advantage of that, I needed relief. There was no denying the attraction between Dean and I, it had been there from when we first met, we were drawn to each other, but it was simply biological and I knew that, nothing more nothing less. Our souls were not connected, were not fated to be together, we were a refuge to each other in a storm and that was that. When it all came to pass it would be over like the destruction of any other safe house and I knew Dean must feel the same, he could never give someone himself completely he too was too proud guarded, broken, too use to being alone, and split to pieces, that was evident. And I, I had already vowed to never give that part of myself to anyone ever again, to never be a pawn in someone else's game, to never belong to anyone, anything, or anywhere ever again. No strings, no connections, no ties just floating aimlessly, responsible solely to my family and myself no one else. And that would never change, the fondness I felt towards Sam the warmth I felt towards Dean the electricity that pulled me towards him would never be enough to alter that.