Chapter 8: In Another Life
Shit, shit, shit, shit I knew I was going to regret this, but he was just so warm and he smelled like firewood and home, and being wrapped up in his arms was damn near close to the best feeling in the world. Dean Winchester was screwing me all up, once again. Since the moment he walked into my life he was a pain in my ass and now things had just gotten way more complicated. The teenage girl in me just wanted to fall under his spell and into the rapture that a bad boy with a soft side underneath it all was, but I knew that was a mistake. I had to admit in another world perhaps another life I would want Dean, want to be with Dean, but in this life that could never be, plus he was completely pigheaded so maybe it was a blessing in disguise. Everything he shared with me last night though, it was just so raw, so honest, so haunted, and I saw parts of myself in him, I could relate to him, maybe we could just be friends simply friends who slept in the same bed….I mean I had to leave anyhow it would be less of an attachment that way, and we wouldn't quite be friends with benefits either. I was just too confused as I cracked my eyes open slowly to find him still sleeping quite adorably if I was going to be honest with myself. His full lips were slightly parted and I could hear his deep breaths laboring in and out. He was rolled on his stomach with one arm securely wrapped around me, his back was bare, the cords of his muscles evident and defined as he breathed and twitched a little every so often. Those hooded eyes were closed to me, but the soft large eye beds and thick light lashes fluttered every so often, signaling that he was dreaming. Man this sucked, why did he have to be so damn attractive he should be a Calvin Klein model for underwear or whatever, it was just ridiculous. What did he want with me anyways, he just thought I was a bony priss. I needed space, a way to clear this fog, this confusion, so I softly and quietly slipped out from underneath him and padded out of the room careful not to disturb him. I easily headed back the way we walked in last night and found myself in the main entry hall where Sam and Cas were seated deep in conversation clearly one that was serious, but they ceased it when they noticed my presence.
"Good morning boys, is there any coffee?" I asked a blush creeping into my face, uncomfortable about their knowledge of Dean and I's situation, as I rubbed the back of my neck.
"Yeah I just brewed a pot in the kitchen, help yourself."
"When you finish we need to talk." Castiel stated bluntly to which Sam gave him a look of disapproval.
"Yeah sure, let me just grab a mug."
…..
"I require your presence." Castiel explained to me bluntly as him, Sam, and I sat around a long table in the bunker's main hall. Require my presence what? After taking a sip of my coffee, I carefully placed it down on the table and swung my glance toward Cas.
"What do you mean, I have to remain with the boys and carry out the plan we have a limited time period and I have a pretty serious demon bounty on my head."
"Caroline what I need you for is much larger than this bounty, though I know it has you quite occupied. Hence I will take Sam with us as well and as I carry out what I need to, you and him can carry out your plan as well. Dean will need to remain here though, his presence is needed elsewhere, on other matters, I hope you can understand that."
"But I, what do you need me for?" I questioned as my head spun and I attempted to keep my qualms and outbursts at bay.
"I believe there is an angel who may know something of your situation, the prophesy, but he will need to examine you as you are a key piece in it to make any observations or conclusions." He stated formally, while folding his hands easily and staring at me with ease.
"What's the word this morning kiddos?" Dean's deep and gravely voice still heavy from sleep burst me out of my haze at Cas' change of plans. He clearly was unaware of the new situation and Sam's face fell at his inquiry.
"Dean you're awake, good, we have things to discuss." Man Castiel would make a great businessman, so formal and demanding yet gentle and convincing, very persuasive dude, very charming.
"Sure thing Cas, what's up?" He shot out easily as he came to sit beside me without hesitation.
"I need Sam and Caroline. There is an angel I need to locate who may be able to inform us on the prophesy further, if he can examine Caroline. So I will take the both of them, locate the angel, and they will do what they must to clean up the demon bounty. Dean you though, you must speak with someone about the mark, it is of the outmost importance, your rage will continue to be an issue, I have several contacts you need to follow up with about it." Huh what mark, what rage, Dean always had a temper? I felt Dean tense beside me.
"Cas you do realize the plan requires Caroline getting kidnapped, how does that fit into your little field-trip." Dean stated hardly.
"It actually will require less work, I can easily help Sam Capture one of Crowley's trusted confidants. And the angel who will examine Caroline can easily place a tracking piece in her, much less painful and invasive, that will be warded from the demons notice. Obviously our dealings with this angel will be kept separate from the demon we capture, it should be much easier and more fruitful on multiple fronts if carried out in this manner. Additionally as the prophesy approaches we must act on any leads regarding it, and right now this appears to be our best option to gaining any information." Why was Cas, calling the shots Dean, did not take orders from people, but this did sound like it would make the plan easier.
"The mark can wait, I don't think we should split up." Dean challenged.
"Dean, Sam and I discussed this for the health of plan, and due to the fact that Sam and Caroline have to be in relations we think you should not be present."
"I'm coming." Dean stated flatly his hand moving possessively to my knee clutching it tenderly yet firmly, great cue the butterflies, screw me.
"Dean, the mark, this is a very serious matter, your temper is unpredictable, Caroline will only intensify it, make you more impulsive less rational, for her safety please listen to what I'm saying." Cas's eyes bored into Dean's, but Dean did not falter, I felt his calloused fingers tighten around my flesh as Goosebumps appeared and flecked my skin ever so lightly.
"Caroline is safest with me, separating us would be pointless."
"Dean open your eyes, you need to pursue these contacts, and this prophesy is much larger than you or Caroline, she must fulfill her destiny and take responsibility for it."
"Hey, I'm right here." I cut in annoyed, as they discussed me like I was some child caught in the middle of a custody battle.
"I'm sorry Caroline I thought you understood our circumstances and agreed to this arrangement already." Cas stated bluntly, and I felt Dean's hand jump from my leg like I had suddenly taken on the temperature of hot coals.
"You agreed to this." He stated hardly as he swung my body to his, so my eyes could only find his and nothing else.
"Dean, this is the best option right now, it's what's best." Did I believe that….I don't know, but I knew I needed space from Dean to get my head on right, to get my bearings back, he made me all kinds of confused and crazy, the way I felt about him was intense, I couldn't hide that.
"You're just running away like you always do, fine give me the contact information I'll head out in a few hours, I'll have my phone so keep me posted." He shut me out as quickly as he let me in, all the walls were up and I was on the outside of them, no longer within them holding what he hide within them so tightly. He was composed and calm with just a glint of fire in his piercing green eyes to hint at what had just occurred.
"Dean,I.." He did not even look at me, he simply snatched the paper Castiel held out to him with the information and stalked off, back to his room I assumed, and my eyes met Sam's.
"Caroline." He stated knowingly, crossing his arms.
"What?" I stated hardly.
"Fix this now. We all need to be completely focused on the tasks at hand, this emotional crap needs to be handled it will only distract people, make them impulsive, and get them killed." His tone hardened on the last part.
"Fine." I bit back angrily, pushing myself loudly up from the table, stomping off after Dean, something I had become accustomed to.
…..
"Dean Winchester." I stated, ready for a battle, as I flung his door open to find him bent over his bed, damp from a shower, with a towel wrapped loosely around his hips, his hair spiked up messily, as he stared at the contents of his duffel bag.
"What the hell is your issue." I barked, I was sick of his shit, yeah I was hot and cold, but he was just abrasive and mean at times, I wasn't standing for it, and as much as he made me want to throw things and pitch a fight, I did not like being on the outside of his walls, maybe I did not want him inside mine, but I wanted back within his.
"What is my issue, wow that's rich Fido coming from you." He stated flatly, not even bothering to turn around, what the hell this what not the Dean I knew, I wanted him to fight me, to challenge me, to spark the electricity, to do anything really, not just stand there.
"Look at me." I demanded hardly.
"Why so you can lie to me, deceive me, trick me." He stated still no emotion; still not facing me and I grew angrier by the second.
"Turn around." I demanded my voice rising.
"I'm busy Caroline." He wasn't even fighting me, no defiance, no challenge, I was pissed, and with not a thought I found myself stalking up to him, grabbing his torso and spinning him towards me, his eyes were haunted.
"Stop it Caroline." He stated bluntly, trying to avoid my stare. And the events that ensued next I cannot offer a reason or explanation for, I can only offer them up. I suddenly pressed my forehead against his, though he reluctantly tried to squirm from me, but I held him in place as my fingertips grazed his damp hair and scalp making languid circles.
"You want me to stop." I whispered hoarsely, he did not reply. I softly removed my forehead from his and littered the edges of his ears with soft ever so light kisses, just dustings really. Then I softly bit into the flesh of his ear lobe, I felt him shake ever so slightly clearly trying to constrain his movements, and I moved my lips to his inner ear and whispered into it breathily.
"What about now? Should I stop?" He still gave no reply, so I simply and easily ghosted my lips down, right to where I could feel his pulse vibrate within his neck. I ghosted kisses on that same spot over and over as I felt his body quake, and then I proceeded to mark him to his surprise, as he moaned in response to my sudden and deliberate biting and sucking of that particular spot. Finally his body leaned forward into mine and he wrapped his strong arms around my tiny body.
"Dean." I whispered. "I'm right here".
"Caroline, you're killing me." His voice was raspy and thick with desire.
"That wasn't exactly the response I was going for." I whispered impishly as I ran my hands up and down his bare back.
"I want you." He stated intensely pressing me up against him.
"You have me."
"I want you underneath me." He stated bluntly.
"You are a pervert." I replied, laughing.
"Are you serious, you just spent the last ten minutes teasing me while I'm basically naked, what would you expect me to want."
"Oh you know the usual ever lasting commitment, marriage, babies…just the works sweetheart." I stated sarcastically staring up into his eyes innocently.
"Shut up." He stated and without another word he gripped the back of my neck and hotly kissed me forcing his tongue into my mouth immediately, pushing all my nerves into hyper drive. God, what was I doing, what was wrong with me, I just could not seem to form or process proper sentences or thoughts, I was a total wreck, I was blank. All I could see, feel, hear, and breathe was him, I was an utter and complete mess. I had done myself in now, I was screwed. My anxiety, my fear, just froze my entire body up, and all of sudden I could not respond or move I just stood there like concrete, and boy did Dean notice.
"What now." He stated gruffly as he gripped my forearm tightly and pulled his face away from mine slightly so he could stare into my eyes, as he breathed heavily.
"I don't know." I replied embarrassedly, looking at me feet uncomfortably.
"Why do you have to make it complicated, what are you hiding from me."
"Everything." I replied without a thought stepping out of his embrace, and backing away swiftly.
"How do you pull these insane 180's, its like sixty to zero in a minute." He stated challenging me to explain myself, but I couldn't, he couldn't know the type of person I really was, I couldn't even live with her, I was just stuck with her.
"I should go, let you get ready, I need to call my sister." I rambled off aimlessly as I backed out of the room slowly with a small sliver of me hoping he would stop me.
"One day Caroline, you'll run so far you won't even know the way back." He quipped sadly as he turned around and turned his attention back to the contents of his duffel bag.
"Goodbye Dean." I whispered, knowing full well this was the last moment I would ever spend with him, after this angel business was done, I would be gone and without a trace this time.
"If you say so, Fido."
"I do." And with that I turned on my heel and softly padded away from the one thing I wanted to hold onto for the first time in years.