4 Months Later. July
"Mom! Where are you going now? Please let me come you know I can help!" I cried exasperatedly as my mom hauled her cache of weapons, as she liked to call it, out to her pick-up truck.
"Caroline, sweetheart, we have gone over this. Contrary to your belief you are my entire life, and I do not want anything to happen to you, which is why it's best if you remain here and conduct research. I'll keep in contact and be back before the week's end, love." She stared at me sternly, but lovingly with her warm brown eyes and full pale pink lips. Her complexion was tan probably from all the time she had been spending across the globe looking for information. And as much as we buttheads lately I could not deny that she had always been my anchor, my safe harbor, my home and I loved her.
"Mom I just want to help and if you gave me the chance I could prove to you I'm capable of being an asset." I replied placing my hands on my hips, still trying to make a case for myself.
"Caroline you are helping. I need someone back here to run things and research whatever information I come across, and you are one smart cookie. I trust you to do this, Law school shaped that noggin' well. Plus I get the peace of mind that you are safe in a remote location that is completely warded to all elements of the supernatural." She threw back easily with an impish grin.
"You're lucky I love you and respect you. If I didn't, I would stow my ass in the trunk of that car without you knowing and you would never hear the end of me on this." I retorted seriously, but with a hint of humor. Most people would not receive my respect or obedience, but she was my mother and for most of my life my closest friend. And part of me still looked up at her with those same awe-filled eyes from when I was five and I just could not openly defy her, she was my Achilles heel.
"Alright then Darling, it's settled. You know the rules no booze, no boys, no noise." She retorted letting loose a full toothy grin full of warmth as she glided towards me in her worn jeans and flannel to place her usual kiss on the crown of my head.
"Really, mom? It's not funny anymore."
"Well, I'm slightly serious about the boys bit. You have been moping around this place since that nice man Cas flew you in, and it's the look of a broken heart. And do not even try to argue with me on this a mother knows when her baby is carrying around a sore one. So I suggest you get that issue bandaged up while I'm gone and go on a nice little man hiatus, ok sugar?"
"Ma you are ridiculous I'm fine ok, stop spewing gibberish."
"You hide it all you want love, but your eyes say it all." With that, she patted me on the cheek lovingly and brushed my hair out of my face."
"Ma, really I'm fine please just be safe ok, I love you."
"Whatever you say, darling. I love you more be back soon, make sure you call all four phones if you need me. You have all the numbers right, baby?"
"Yes, Ma I got it down pat it is not my first rodeo." She chuckled easily at me and gave me one last squeeze before her tiny body jumped up into her ridiculously large truck, which was quite comical due to the size difference. I waved at her one last time before lazily walking up the steps of the front porch and back into the safe house that had been my home for the past few months. Cas' plan went off without a hitch in regards to the bounty at least. We were able to get to Crowley he, of course, was not convinced that Sam and I were together, nothing gets passed the King of Hell I guess, but he did shed some light on a few topics, and a deal was of course struck. Apparently the bounty on my head was due to a rumor that had started up among the ranks of Hell. Many had begun to assume that I was the counterpart to Griffith, that I would be what could counter his rumored power and thus be the key to the darker side of this prophesized revolution of sorts. So clearly people thought they could harness my power and control me for their gains, pretty typical shit for demons and the King of Hell, always trying to use someone else to garner power. Honestly, I cold give a rat's ass about this supposed power what was of value to me was that the angel Cas brought me to confirmed Griffith was still alive and that his life force was somewhere out there. Crowley, though he cannot be trusted, also claimed he had encountered him in passing in one of his trips to clean house on some angel operation. And so it was enough, enough to give me something to hold onto and continue to seek out clues and information about Griffith's whereabouts and his inevitable transformation.
Cas' angel friend beyond the information on Griffith could not tell us much. Apparently there was some ward on me that prevented any other angel and demon from taking hold of whatever code or enchantment etched within me in an attempt to understand its full weight. Thus, his examination of me was a total freaking bust. In regards to escaping Crowley's grasp a simple deal was struck, well simple for Crowley I guess. I had to pledge, as well as sign a pretty little contract swearing that I would not throw allegiance to the angels or march with them. And, hey easy enough for me I hated every last one of those scum except for Cas he was a hell of an exception and he had disassociated from those crazies at this point anyhow. So for me, the deal was all well and good for now, maybe time would display that I had acted in error, but what did it matter.
One last deal was struck, but this one was between Castiel and I. Cas after hours of argument agreed to wipe Dean and Sam's memory clean of every encounter they ever had with me if I agreed to reunite with my mother and work with her to find Griffith. He claimed he had become quite fond of me and felt if I were to separate from Dean and Sam as he sensed I would this would be the safest way for me to do so. As much as I wanted independence, I wanted to be free of this entanglement with the Winchester boys more and at the end of the day my mother was a wonderful woman she was just slightly detached in the years since Griffith disappeared, but who could blame her. So for me, it was not such a bad deal, and I took it, I was finally gone from the boys without a trace. The only memory Dean and Sam had of me was through a photograph my mom showed them once several years prior and beyond that they had no knowledge of who I was and the time we spent together. My mother was aware of this arrangement, and I think she assumed that the heartbreak lied with one of those boys, but it was not really heartbreak. It was acceptance, acceptance of who I was and who I never would or could be. If Dean knew me, the real me he would cringe, things were better this way. Life before the Winchesters was much less complicated and I was settling back into it nicely.
As I curled myself onto the worn sofa in front of the TV with my afternoon coffee the newest and perhaps most important addition to my life hopped up to join me. Nala was still all paws and big floppy ears. She was only about five months old but was smart as a whip with huge gold eyes and beautiful chocolate brown fur ticked with speckles. I had picked up Nala on a drive with my mom through Rhode Island after we had finished taking care of a nasty Wendigo. Nala came from the same breeder we bought our family German Short-Haired Pointer from and she was the absolute sweetest. Mom let me get her for company, for when she went away or whatever, but I knew she wanted a four-legged friend around the house as much as I did. We both spoiled Nala rotten, but she was a total sweetheart and a fast learner, so we deemed it acceptable.
"Hi, there baby-girl!" I cooed at her lovingly as I scratched her fur and listened to her little tail beat against the sofa. Her demeanor changed though quite suddenly, her ears perked up, and she drew back from me staring at the ceiling and of course right on time there was Castiel, no warning, no call, no appointment.
"Thanks for the call Cas." I retorted pointedly not even bothering to move from my spot.
"Caroline I do not have time for this."
"Well excuse me mister big shot. You are the one falling into my living room unannounced and startling my poor pup. We talked about this you cant just do that what if I was changing or something, I am a girl you know."
"Nudity means very little to me Caroline barely phases me. When I was human, it was quite different, but now it is of no consequent so don't trouble yourself with that you will not upset me."
"Cas I don't give a crap if it would upset you, it would bother me." I shot back emphasizing the me.
"Oh well, I do apologize. Next time I'll try to announce myself give you some warning I guess. But look we have a small situation."
"What do you mean a small situation?" I inquired nervously. Why did he always have to speak in riddles and it always took a century for him to convey plainly what he meant.
"Dean's been dreaming of you, Sam as well, but Dean's are more involved so to speak." Before I even processed a word or a thing, the coffee mug slipped from my hand and shattered on the floor. The shock filled my body, and all I wanted to do was run.
"Caroline I'm sorry I should not have sprung that on you like that. I should have prepared you here I'll clean that up." I could feel my whole body tense and shake as Cas cleaned up the mess my shock and fear had created.
"What do you mean he's dreaming of me?" I shakily inquired as I went to follow Cas into the kitchen.
"Caroline, no please sit back down I will be right back, and I will answer any and all of your questions." I was not having it though, and I continued behind him, my legs felt like a substance between gelatin and rock, heavy yet light, weighted yet shaky. Once within the confines of my small kitchen, I found myself leaning against the island in the center of the room for support and stability. After disposing of the broken pieces of the mugs Ca sighed and turned toward me leaning his back against the kitchen cabinets with a pained look on his face.
"At first, it was just your face and fleeting images of you, but it has evolved so to speak. Sam still only sees your face, but Dean he's dreaming memories. I'm afraid it will only get worse. I'm not sure why he was able to recall these memories or why these memories were able to regain footing in his consciousness, but they have and their growing stronger, and he is growing more suspicious especially since Sam is dreaming of you too. They are suspecting someone wiped their memories, they keep calling on me, I'm positive they want to question me, but I have been avoiding them so I could speak with you first."
"Cas what the actual hell! You swore this would work, that it was foolproof, we had a deal!" I roared my hands tightening into fists.
"Caroline, this has never occurred before it is foolproof. I have to know, how deep was your bond with Dean. I thought perhaps a crush or an infatuation, but if these memories are this powerful the bond must have held much more weight." How could I answer that I had no answer for that nor did I want to try to provide one, it was too painful.
"Castiel I cant, you know I cant." I croaked out weakly.
"Look I have an idea. Well, it is more of quick fix it won't be permanent, but it can buy you sometime." Castiel cocked his head to the side clearly waiting for me to push him to continue and deliver this idea.
"At this point, I'm willing to try anything."
"Well then good. I am assuming what you want to be buried is your relation to Dean as well as the personal details you've shared with him and Sam. That, for now, is possible if I restore their memories up until Faith appeared. I'll say for protection once the demon-bounty was known of, I made the executive decision to wipe everyone's memories of you and transport you to a safe house. When they ask why their memories of the time of the demon-bounty and what not are still no present I'll bore them with the complications that can come with memory restoration and how some pieces remain lost. It should quiet them for a time and quell their interest, but I'm not sure if it will prevent the restoration of all their memories indefinitely. Plus Sam loves to poke around, you intellectuals are all the same that could be an issue later on."
"What are the risks?"
"Like anything else there are some considerable risks. If I keep fishing around in their minds and touching things I'm not supposed to it could permanently damage their ability to form, save, and store memories."
"How likely is that?"
"Not very, but there is also a chance if a restore them partially I weaken the block, unhinge it in some respect, and all of them renter their consciousness without warning." I buried my face in my hands, conflicted and confused.
"And what happens if you do nothing? Just leave things be."
"Dean will remember everything in time. I don't know when, but he will. And I can't predict his reaction entirely. I can keep you hidden from him, but he is well he is persistent."
"What do I do Cas?" I inquired desperate for guidance. All options led to destruction, and none were a guarantee, the risks were high.
"I don't have that answer, Caroline, I'm sorry."
"Can I take a few days to go over it."
"Don't take too long Dean is already realizing you aren't just something his mind conjured up. He remembers the photo your mom showed him a few years back."
"Shit are you serious? I have dark hair there how could he even piece that together?"
"Your eyes, they are a pretty strong identifier plus gold is a unique color. I'm sorry genetics can be troublesome."
"Great so case of fight or flight."
"Caroline I would not necessarily say this parallels Darwin's Theory entirely."
"Stop Cas, stop there do not go any further, it is just an expression, not a scientific expression. That is not helping at the moment."
"I do apologize. Caroline, I must be going, so do we have a decision." And without a thought, I took flight like always.
"Restore it up to Faith." I whispered.
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, just Cas please be gentle I am rather fond of his mind." I admitted sadly, and Cas shot me a sort of sympathetic look. He simply nodded at me and then he was gone, just as Dean always described his coming and goings.
*Ring, Ring, Ring*
I shot up out of bed and scrambled around searching for my incessantly loud phone. If it was my mom, I needed to get to it quick and without even bothering to check the number like I always do I flipped it open.
"Mom. What do you need, is everything ok?" I rambled on, my voice heavy with sleepy, one hand cradling the phone the other trying to tie up my messy hair into a bun.
"Fido? It's me. Do not hang up." No, god damn why didn't I check the caller ID, when did Cas jump his memories or did he not yet, what did he know.
"Caroline I can hear your loud breathing, I know you're still on the line." Typical what an asshole, fine then he could just listen to me breathe.
"Where are you? Do not make me trace this call, you know I will." Screw him what an egotistical bastard. Who does he think he is, and how much does he know? Uh, how is it possible that after all this time he still can just enrage me without a moments notice. No, I will not engage in this.
"Caroline you hang up I show up, chose carefully." Shit. He probably would to I should have hung up immediately he was probably already traced the damn call knew the location. My mom told me to stop answering calls with my personal number; it could be traced; I screwed up. I was only supposed to use the burner phones, shit. Maybe part of me knew it would be him and wanted to pick up, damn that was all kinds of screwed up.
"What do you want?" I spoke hardly.
"Wow just as cold as ever, nice to hear from you too." Hm, maybe Cas had restored it already.
"So?" I drawled out trying to escape this awful decision of mine.
"Did Cas wipe your noggin' too?" Relief filled my entire body, my secrets were safe, things could stay somewhat normal, or my version of normal, and Dean's mind the one that did make me tingly was perfectly intact, at least for now.
"Nope."
"Well, aren't you lucky. So you were fine with us just forgetting we ever spent that lovely vacation together?"
"Shut up, Van Helsing. I told you I work alone."
"Suit yourself Fido, but man that's pretty harsh. Sammy and I were hurt."
"Yeah well cry me a freaking river, do not care."
"Well, I'm glad you're safe then thanks for the mutual concern sweetheart, you have a nice evening."
"Goodbye, Dean. Don't ever call here again."
"No can do darling. Goodnight."
"Goodbye, Dean." I cried exasperatedly while I angrily hit the end call button. How, how was he always so unaffected, so sarcastic yet my whole body was like a live freaking wire. I fell back against my pillow with a thump and knew sleep would not find me now; that van was just waiting to drive across my mind when my eyes closed and Dean he was waiting there too, waiting to find out what the van really meant.