Author's Note: Just when I said I wasn't going to take a long break, I go and do it again. So sorry everyone but life once again got in the way and the holidays aren't helping either. But on the plus side I have the rest of the story uploaded so now I can just post new chapters :) But I can't forget to give recognition to evilregal07, TheSacredEntei, Viviane Ravenheart, Wicked Fan, and love2read20 for their wonderful and scary reviews lol. Hope you guys enjoy :D
Disclaimer: I do not own Wicked or any of its characters.
Chapter 14:
Elphaba traced every shape on Glinda's face with her eyes and locked it away for memory. Everything from the curly tousled gold curls and creamy pale skin to the small button nose and slightly parted pouty lips. Elphaba realized in that exact moment that every feeling she had for the blonde all led to one conclusion, she was completely and unconditionally in love with her. Which meant that she knew in her heart that she was ready to tell Glinda everything she felt for her.
'Tomorrow.' She thought to herself with a bright smile. 'Tomorrow first thing in the morning, I'll tell Glinda that I love her.'
With that thought, Elphaba laid down and was instantly asleep dreaming of how Glinda would tell her that she loved her back.
Glinda was awake the next morning before the sun had risen, which she hadn't done since she was a little girl. She stared at the ceiling and would occasionally glance at Elphaba as well.
Every time Elphaba would smile at whatever she was dreaming about, Glinda's chest would tighten and tears would fall from her eyes. She knew what she was going to say and it was eating away at her. She wished that last night was just a dream and she could wake up feeling those strong green arms around her. But the slight headache she currently had, that she always got from drinking the night before, was there reminding her that everything Ridal said really happened.
She knew that everything that she was about to do would break the green girl's heart and it made the blonde feel like a monster.
Glinda was so deep in thought that she didn't hear Elphaba wake up.
"Glinda." Elphaba said after stretching and yawning.
"Glinda?" Elphaba said again, but still no answer. "Glinda!"
Glinda was finally brought out of her head when she heard her name. "Huh?" She said when she looked at the source of the sound.
"Are you ok? You seemed to be thinking of something pretty hard." Elphaba said as she got up from bed and walked to Glinda's bed.
"I'm fine, just have a little headache." Glinda said as she sat up in bed.
"Are you alright? Is there anything I can get you?" Elphaba said reaching out to touch Glinda's cheek.
"I'm fine. I just need a hot bath." Glinda said as she moved away from Elphaba's hand and turned away because she couldn't stand seeing the concern in the brunette's brown eyes.
"Ok, well let me go run you that bath." Elphaba said with a smile as she stood.
"No its fine. I'll do it." Glinda said as she almost ran to the bathroom to buy herself some time before breaking up with Elphaba. She lost her nerve when Elphaba smiled and needed to regain her courage.
Elphaba was left sitting on Glinda's bed with a confused expression on her face due to the blonde's strange behavior, but she thought it was because of her hangover.
So Elphaba decided to get dress and make both beds, before cleaning the room a little, to free up the rest of the day. She was nervous because when Glinda came out of the bathroom she was going to tell her she loved her. Hopefully, afterwards take her to the same restaurant they went to
for their first date.
xxxxx
After almost an hour Glinda could no longer keep stalling, so she took a deep breath, told herself that what she was about to do was for Elphaba, and opened the door.
"I was wondering when you were coming out." Elphaba said as she closed her book and stood from her desk.
"I was just thinking again, that's all." Glinda said surprisingly calm as Elphaba made her way to stand in front of her.
"Anything I can help you with? Perhaps this?" Elphaba asked as she wrapped her arms around the smaller girl and leaned down to kiss her.
"Um... no." Glinda said as she turned her face and stepped out of the comforting embrace. "Uh... Elphaba we uh... we need to talk."
"Ok, what's on your mind?" Elphaba said as she tried to shake off the feeling of rejection when Glinda moved away from her.
"I um... I don't... I don't think its going to work between us." Glinda said all the while looking at the ground, afraid that if she look at the green beauty she would lose it and start to cry.
"What are you talking about?" Elphaba asked with a small frown.
"I don't think we should be together anymore." Glinda said trying to look anywhere besides Elphaba.
"What? Glinda, where is this coming from?" Elphaba said completely confused.
"Last night when we were out it hit me that I'm not ready to settle down with someone. I want to be able to go out and have fun without having to worry that my girlfriend is there." Glinda said pacing around the room while Elphaba watched.
"You can still go out and have fun, and I don't need to be there if it makes you uncomfortable." Elphaba said.
"No. I need to be free. I'm sorry Elphaba, but I want to break up with you." Glinda said when she came to a stop in the middle of the room with her back facing Elphaba.
"What?" Elphaba said as she felt her stomach drop and chest tighten. "Glinda? Look at me."
Glinda wanted to break down and cry right then and there when she heard the rejected tone in Elphaba's voice. She swallowed the lump in her throat and turned, but kept her eyes still planted to the ground.
"Look at me." Elphaba said firmly.
Glinda finally looked into Elphaba's eyes. When she saw the hurt, confusion, and fear in those bottomless brown eyes, she literally felt her heart break.
"Do you mean it? Do you really not want to be with me?" Elphaba asked trying to keep her voice from cracking.
"Yes." Glinda said softly once again looking to the floor.
"Glinda, look at me!" Elphaba exclaimed making Glinda jump. "Look me in the eyes and tell me that you don't want to be with me." She said again much softer then before.
Glinda looked up, saw Elphaba with tears in her eyes, and took a deep breath. "I don't want to be with you."
"You're lying." Elphaba said feeling like her world was falling apart.
"No I'm not." Glinda said as seriously as she could.
"Yes you are, the Glinda I know wouldn't do something like this." Elphaba said putting her hands and Glinda's shoulders.
"Well then you obviously don't know me." Glinda said backing away only to have Elphaba come even closer.
"Glinda you don't mean this, think about what you're saying." Elphaba said as she backed Glinda to the wall and wouldn't let her move.
"I do know what I'm saying." Glinda said. Then she thought of only one way to really get the brunette to believe her lie. "Besides a girl like me can never be accepted if I'm with someone like you."
Elphaba was truly shocked. "I thought you changed. I thought your social reputation didn't mean anything to you anymore."
"Well I was fooling myself. At first my reputation didn't matter, but I miss it and you were only dragging me down." Glinda said still keeping her serious facade intact. "I mean who could love a green toad like you?"
Elphaba let the tears that she had been holding back finally fall silently. She backed away from the blonde feeling like her world was falling apart. She turned her back against Glinda and took a few steps away.
Glinda's heart was screaming at her to tell Elphaba the truth, when she saw this. She reached out her hand to touch the taller girl's shoulder, but her head told her to not do it, so she withdrew her hand.
"Elphaba?" Glinda finally asked, not being able to take the silence anymore.
Elphaba said nothing as she walked to the door. She opened it, but stopped before closing it to turn and look at Glinda. "And don't worry, this 'toad' will no longer drag you down from being the socialite you were meant to be."
When the door was closed, Glinda fe;l to her knees and curled into a ball, crying her heart out. She knew she would never be the same again after what she just did. Even though she knew Elphaba wouldn't be harmed by Ridal, she still felt the intense hurt and heartbreak all because of what he wanted.
Glinda thought about all the good times she had with Elphaba and cried even harder when she knew that she would no longer have those moments with her again. No more snuggling in bed talking late at night, no more sweet kisses, no more beautiful songs before bed, no more bright smiles, no more of her Elphie.
And in that moment she realized that not only was she in love with the green girl, but that she would never be able to say it to Elphaba. She cried until she felt herself drifting to sleep on the floor still curled into a ball whispering the same phrase over and over, "I'm sorry."
xxxxx
Elphaba didn't know where she was going once she left the room. She just kept walking as far away from the blonde as possible. Away from the lies, away from the fake smiles and fake kisses, and away from the feelings she felt so strongly for Glinda. Elphaba kept going until she came to the park and eventually the pond where she brought Glinda after their first date.
She let herself cry for the first time in as long as she could remember, she never knew her heart could hurt as much as it was right then and there. She wanted to wake up from this bad dream and just start the day over. Better yet she wanted to go back to the day she and Glinda first kissed and make it never happen. Elphaba knew now that it was better to be jealous of Fiyero and Glinda then to have her heart broken by the blonde.
'Of course someone like Glinda could never love you.' Elphaba thought. 'You're a beast, what's there to love?'
Elphaba had been called many names before that she learned to just ignore, but when Glinda said them, she felt hurt. Instead of ignoring them like her head was telling her to do, she was crying with her knees hugged to her chest.
After awhile Elphaba's tears stopped and she felt numb and void of any emotions. She should have seen that getting too close to Glinda was a bad idea, that being happy wouldn't last.
Because there was an unwritten rule that Elphaba Thropp couldn't be happy for too long. In her mind, she wasn't worthy of love and happiness.
xxxxx
Waiting outside Crage Hall, watching from a distance, Ridal saw Elphaba leave. When he saw the look on the girl's face he knew that Glinda had just broke the news to her.
"Good girl, Glinda." Ridal said out loud to himself with a smirk.
He saw that Elphaba kept walking in a certain direction and decided to follow her. He followed her into the park, saw her stop at a small pond, and waited behind a little when he saw her breakdown. Ridal never had any feelings of guilt at what Elphaba must be going through, instead he was only excited at the possibility of being their to comfort the brunette.
When Elphaba's crying looked to be slowing and she looked straight ahead at the lake, he strode towards her trying not to make any noise.
"Elphaba?" Ridal said softly to not scare her.
When he didn't get a response he moved closer and tried again. "Elphaba?"
Upon hearing her name Elphaba turned to see Ridal smiling softly at her.
A/N #2: Don't hate me! :D