my motivation's been lost, has anyone seen it? it'd be about 5'5, blondish brown hair...anyone? no? oh.. haha i'm sorry guys, i didn't even realize it'd been a whole month since i've updated. I got super into Criminal Minds and there's 9 seasons on Netflix so haha. i'm sorry. i promise i'll do better XD btw it took me 34 chapters to realize why my author's notes always looked odd compared to others: most of the ones i've seen are either bold or italicized and mine are usually just plain text. omg Anna get it together XD

i love that you guys continue to love my story of characters i don't own. i hope you guys continue to enjoy it!

Chapter 34

Kensi awoke the next morning to an unusually quiet apartment; she turned her head sleepily to look at Deeks, her fiancé. The thought brought a smile to her face. They were getting married, and Kensi couldn't be happier. Deeks was still asleep, and by the way his nose was doing that cute twitching thing, she could tell he was happy too. Normally he was awake before Kensi was, that surfer instinct to get up early to catch the morning waves still in him. For some reason, he was still fast asleep this morning, and there wasn't a sound anywhere else in the house; Leo had to still be asleep as well.

As if he could feel her staring at him, Deeks's eyes opened slowly and a smile grew on his face. "Fern, I know I'm handsome but it's a little creepy that you're just staring at me." He teased.

"Oh shut up. As if you've never watched me sleep." Kensi shot back.

Deeks's grin grew wider. "That's different."

"How so?" She demanded.

"Well that's me admiring the very gorgeous view of my beautiful fiancée." He smiled.

Kensi burst out laughing, but Deeks quickly rolled over and put his finger to her lips. "Shh, you hear that?" He asked.

Her eyes had immediately narrowed at him, and she shook her head no. "That, my Lady Bird, is the sound of absolute silence. Meaning no little boy running around demanding love and attention. No dog barking after him, also demanding attention. They're asleep. If you're too loud they'll wake up and the silence will be lost." Deeks explained in a dramatic whisper.

Kensi snorted and pushed his finger away from her lips. "Deeks, they're not going to hear me. You're the loud one."

Deeks's eyebrow arched. "I'm not so sure that was the case last night." He teased.

Kensi playfully punched his arm and rolled her eyes, a definite pink flooding her cheeks. "Notice how there was no denial." Deeks laughed quietly, rolling over onto his stomach.

"I refuse to acknowledge that." Kensi replied.

"Truth hurts babe." Deeks whispered.

"Oh that hurts? Try this!" Kensi exclaimed, grabbing her pillow and whacking Deeks in the head.

Deeks's already styled-by-pillow hair all whipped over to one side and to Kensi his face was priceless. He looked absolutely shocked at her actions. "Oh no you didn't just pillow whack me." Deeks said, eyes narrowed. His hand slowly reached for a pillow.

Kensi sat on her heels triumphantly. "Oh yes, I really did."

"Hmm. Then you won't mind this!" Deeks exclaimed, grabbing his pillow and hitting Kensi in the side, throwing her off balance.

Kensi burst out laughing as she hit the bed and Deeks rolled on top of her, tickling her mercilessly. "D-Deeks quit! S-stop it!" She managed to get out between laughs.

"Why should I huh? Give me a reason?" Deeks grinned.

"B-because I love you, and c-can't kiss you very well if I'm l-laughing!" Kensi explained.

The shaggy man stopped immediately. "Hmm, a very good reason indeed, soon to be Mrs. Deeks." He smiled softly, lowering his lips down to meet hers.

Kensi smiled into the kiss and wrapped her arms around his neck. As she started to melt into his embrace, Deeks pulled back. "You know, unless you wanna like, hyphenate or something. I'd be alright with that, if that was what you wanted. I mean, you being a strong, independent woman who has every right to keep her last name should she-" He said nervously, until Kensi brought his lips back to meet hers again.

"Deeks." She said, breaking the kiss.

"Yeah?" The man replied with a smile.

"No, I mean Deeks. That's the name I'm going to take. No hyphen." Kensi told him.

Deeks's smile grew even larger. "Marty Deeks. Leo Deeks. Kensi Deeks." He said with a brightness in his eyes.

"I love the sound of that." Kensi said softly.

Suddenly, Monty's barking could be heard through the entire apartment, along with Leo's little feet running after him. "And they're off." Deeks grinned, throwing the covers off himself and rolling out of bed.

Callen and Sam were already in the bullpen when Kensi and Deeks arrived. Matching grins spread on the senior agents' faces as the newly engaged couple walked in.

"Ah, the lovebirds finally decided to grace us with their presence." Callen teased.

"Traffic was horrible." Deeks rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, traffic." Callen chuckled.

"So did you stay up all night planning the perfect wedding?" Sam smirked.

"No, I didn't actually." Kensi shook her head, sitting down with a smile.

"Oh, no Kens I was actually talking to Deeks." The SEAL grinned.

Callen and Kensi both burst out laughing while Deeks merely rolled his eyes. "Oh please. The only thing I care about in the wedding is who the bride is. And, I believe, I've got that covered." He grinned, sending a wink in Kensi's direction.

"Aw." Callen snorted.

"Besides, she's already got the whole thing planned out." Deeks shrugged.

"Wha? Pshh. No I don't." Kensi snorted, a guilty look spreading across her face.

"Oh really?" Deeks challenged.

"Yeah, really." She shot back.

"So those girly, lacey magazines you love so much – you know, the bridal ones- those aren't marked up with everything you want?" Deeks asked.

"Well I…"

"Kensi." Callen arched an eyebrow at her.

"I wouldn't say everything." Kensi shuffled some papers on her desk.

"Kens." Sam deadpanned.

"I don't have the whole thing planned." She mumbled.

"Wifey." Deeks grinned.

Kensi couldn't help but smile. "Okay fine. I do have the whole thing planned out and have had the whole thing planned out for a while. I may be a bit girly at times, but I can still kick all of your asses. I am Badass Blye after all." She smirked.

"Well, not for too much longer." Deeks told her.

"I'm not callin' you Badass Deeks." Sam chuckled.

"Because who would know who you're talking about?" Deeks grinned.

"Oh, we'd know." Callen assured him as Eric's whistle sounded through the mission.

"I'm truly hurt, Callen." Deeks pressed his hands to his chest as they all made their way up to OPS.

As Deeks walked up the stairs, he grinned at the techie. "Eric! My best man! How's it goin'?"

"Best man? Me? Awesome!" The two high fived and Eric grinned.

"No one else I'd rather have up there." Deeks smiled.
"I will totally not let you down, dude!" Eric replied.

Kensi hung back after the briefing. She shifted on her feet and looked at Nell, busily typing away on her tablet. "Um, Nell?" She asked hesitantly.

The redhead looked up and smiled. "Hey Kens. What's up?"

"I was wondering if you'd do something for me." Kensi said in a serious tone.

Nell looked a bit concerned. "Of course Kensi, you know I'd do anything for you."

"Okay. Will you… will you be my maid of honor?" Kensi asked, rubbing her hands together.

Nell's jaw dropped in shock. "Are you, you're serious?" She asked.

"Well yeah, of course I am. If you don't want to, that's totally okay though." Kensi said hurriedly.

"No no no, I want to! I want to!" Nell exclaimed, her face lighting up.

"Great. Thank you, so much." Kensi beamed.

Nell shifted on her feet with a smile on her face. "No one's ever even asked me to be a bride's maid before."

Kensi's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Are you serious? I think you're gonna be a great maid of honor. I promise I won't go all bridezilla on you." She laughed.

"Great." Nell laughed, hugging Kensi. "Well we should probably get to work." The redhead said.

"Yeah, thank you again, Nell."

"No problem." Nell replied.

As Kensi walked out of OPS something else occurred to her. "Oh, me and you, dress shopping this weekend?" She asked.

"I'd love to! Anything you need! Just shoot me an email of everything you want and I can work some tech magic to see about getting it done as cheap and as fast as possible!" Nell added.

"You are the best." Kensi beamed, then turned and walked out.

Saturday came quickly and Kensi was beyond excited to go dress shopping.

Not that she'd let Deeks know that.

He'd been playing with Leo in the living room while she got ready early that morning. When she was almost done, Deeks walked in and smiled at her, leaning against the bathroom doorjamb.

"You excited?" He asked softly.

"Um, yeah. I guess." Kensi shrugged, feigning indifference.

Deeks grinned. "Liar."

She laughed before putting down her hairbrush. "I'm really really excited." Kensi admitted quietly.

The shaggy man chuckled softly, pushing off the doorjamb and walking up behind her and wrapping her in his arms. "I'm glad you're excited. I'm pretty damn excited myself." He told her.

"Sometimes when I'm doing paperwork the light will shine off my ring and catch me by surprise and I'm reminded all over again that this is really happening." She told him.

Deeks grinned. "I think as much as I look at this ring on your finger, I'm approaching creepy levels of staring."

Kensi laughed loudly. "Deeks you've always stared too much." She teased.

"Uh huh. Don't get me started on how much you've ogled at my ass over the years." He snorted.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kensi brushed off. "I need to go, Nell's waiting on me."

"Alright, my Lady Bird. Be careful out there. Find you something pretty to wear. I'm sure you'll be gorgeous no matter what." He told her.

Kensi smiled and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. "Let's hope I find something really good. I have high expectations."

"Good. I love you." Deeks smiled.

"I love you. Have fun with Leo today, and stay out of trouble." She teased.

"Oh please. Us get into trouble?" Deeks snorted.

"Bye." She laughed, grabbing her purse and walking out.

"I think I understand what you and Deeks went through when you were house hunting now." Nell joked as Kensi tried on her tenth dress.

The bride-to-be's shoulders shagged. "I know, I'm sorry Nell. I'm really not trying to be difficult."

"No, no, Kensi I'm just kidding. I totally understand. I mean, this is your wedding dress. It's a special thing and I don't mind at all that you didn't automatically find the perfect one. These things take time." Nell explained.

Kensi nodded, sighing at yet another failed attempt before turning to head back to the dressing room. The worker that had been helping them took the latest failure and gave Kensi a few more options to try. This was one of the nicest bridal stores in all of LA, and there were hundreds of dresses to choose from. Nell was positive they'd find one.

She just hoped it didn't take weeks like the house hunting had; she wasn't sure Kensi's nerves could take another hunt like that.

Curiosity got the better of the analyst, so she couldn't help from asking the question that'd been on her mind since they'd arrived at the store.

"Hey Kensi? Did you have your dress picked out with Jack?" She inquired carefully.

There'd been a lot of ruffling and shifting and even a few curses coming from the other side of the curtain, but as Nell's words reached Kensi every noise stopped. The analyst could tell Kensi had frozen. "I… I'm sorry. That was personal and you don't have to answer that." She quickly said.

"No, no it's alright.. um, no I didn't actually. I didn't have anything planned. Jack didn't want us to plan until he got back, but when he did come back he wasn't in the same frame of mind. Wedding details weren't really his first priority, and I didn't want to push him." Kensi explained slowly.

Kensi was grateful for the curtain separating the two women; she didn't think she could explain that to Nell's face.

"Is that why you already had everything planned out this time?" Nell couldn't help but ask.

"Yeah.. I spent more time thinking about weddings after my first engagement than I did when I was actually during my engagement." Kensi replied.

"I see. It makes sense, Kens." Nell told her softly.

"Thanks. Um, I don't know how I feel about this dress." Kensi replied, changing the subject as she drew the curtain back.

Nell tilted her head as Kensi stepped up onto the small platform and looked in the mirror. "It's not bad. It's a pretty dress." She told her.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure it's the one for me." Kensi sighed

"Well we will find the one." Nell smiled reassuringly.

"Right." Kensi smiled, heading back into the dressing room.

"Daddy, can we go to dah park?" Leo asked about an hour after Kensi had left.

"Sure! It's a nice day, why not?" Deeks smiled. "Go grab your running shoes, okay?"

"Otay!" Leo exclaimed, running into his room.

Deeks quickly helped the little boy into his shoes, grabbed his keys, and the two were off. It was a brilliant, sunny day; the perfect kind of day for playing at the park. He scrolled through the radio stations –it was still on Kensi's techno music- and found a child-friendly station Leo loved.

"So are you excited about me and Kensi getting married?" Deeks asked.

"Um, yeah. What does dat mean, Daddy?" He inquired.

"Well, uh, it means me and Kensi love each other very, very, very much. It means that we're gonna be there for each other, and support each other. It means we're gonna spend the rest of our lives with each other. That make sense?" Deeks tried to explain.

He glanced in the rearview mirror at his son sitting in his car seat on the passenger side of the car. Leo had his "thinking-face" on; his little nose scrunched up and his eyebrows furrowed, and his lip pouted just a bit.

"You gonna spend your whole wibes wiff each odder?" He asked.

"Yeah, we are." Deeks smiled, turning his attention back to the road.

"Dats a wong time, Daddy." Leo announced.

"Yeah, buddy. It's a long time." He chuckled as he stopped at the red light, almost to the park.

"Dat good, Daddy." Leo told him.

Deeks couldn't help but smile again. "Yeah, it is." He replied as the light turned green and one of Leo's favorite songs came on the radio. The little boy started singing at the top of his lungs and Deeks laughed lightly.

Suddenly, a pick-up truck rammed into the driver's side door and the car went spinning across the intersection. Leo yelled in surprise and Deek's head knocked against his window.

"DADDY!" Leo yelled out.

Deeks's vision was blurred, and he was in more pain than he'd ever felt in his life. He could hear the someone else yelling, and it sounded like someone was talking to 911 operator.

"Daddy is you otay?" Leo cried.

"Yeah, no… I'm… I'm fine, buddy." Deeks struggled to stay awake. He couldn't pass out now; Leo would be too scared. "L-Leo are you hurt?" He asked as a sharp pain shot through his head.

"N-no I'm otay, Daddy." Leo replied in a shaky voice.

Thank God, Deeks thought as he felt blood drip down his face. He glanced in the mirror and tried to get a look at Leo without showing the boy all the blood on his face; his vision was too blurred to make anything out.

"Leo it's gonna be okay, buddy." Deeks managed to say.

"Hey man, hold on." A new voice said through the smashed window. "I called 911 and they'll be here in a couple minutes. The other driver drove off. Can you hear me man? You look like you're fading."

"My son, he's okay?" Deeks blinked tiredly. Everything hurt. He wanted to close his eyes but he couldn't leave Leo. He had to fight for Leo.

"Yeah man, he looks okay. You're gonna be okay too, alright? Damn it, where is that ambulance?" This stranger growled, frustrated.

"Hold on, Leo, they're gonna come help us, okay?" Deeks said.

"O-otay Daddy…" Leo replied, sniffling.

Suddenly the sounds of sirens filled the air and Deeks could just barely make out the flashing lights of the ambulance pulling up to the scene.

"Alright, you're gonna be fine sir. We're gonna take care of you guys." Another new voice said.

"Leo." Deeks breathed out as his vision started to black out and his head throbbed in pain. "Kensi's gonna be pissed." Deeks mumbled.

Kensi was trying on her fourteenth dress after taking a bit of a break to relieve her nerves. She'd regained her hope; she was going to find an amazing dress. They'd have to drag her out of this store before she left without one.

Suddenly her phone rang on the other side of the curtain. "Hey Nell can you answer that? I'm just about to try this next one on." Kensi called. It was probably Deeks, his curious self probably wanted to know if she'd gotten a dress yet.

"Yeah, I got it!" Nell replied. "Hello? No this is her friend, she's busy at the moment, what is this about? Oh my God… one second, I'll hand her the phone. Kensi." Nell said sharply.

Kensi stuck her head out of the curtain. "What is it Nell?" She asked.

"Just…here." Nell shook her head, tears in her eyes.

"This is Kensi." Kensi said nervously into the phone.

"Yes, ma'am this is St. Francis Hospital, you're the emergency contact for Mr. Marty Deeks, correct?" A lady asked patiently.

Kensi's heart dropped. "I'm afraid to say yes." She said hesitantly.

"Well, Mr. Deeks has been in a car wreck and is currently unconscious. He sustained some serious injuries and our doctors are rushing to help him as we speak." The lady explained in a pained voice.

"Oh my God…no." Kensi shook her head, tears filling her eyes. "Is he… is he gonna be okay?" She asked, her knees starting to shake.

"The doctors are hopeful ma'am."

"Oh my God, Leo. A little boy, his name is Leo Deeks and he's Marty's son. Is he hurt? Is he okay?" Kensi gasped.

"Thankfully he sustained no injuries." The lady replied.

"Oh thank God. I'll be there as soon as I can." Kensi told her, and hung up.

"We have to go Nell." Kensi cried, tears falling uncontrollably.

"Right, I'll drive. Do you want me to call the team?" Nell asked nervously.

"Um, yeah. They'll wanna be there. I… oh my God this wasn't in my wedding plan. Or my life plan. Or any plan... I have to get there. Let me put my clothes on and we'll go." Kensi tried to control herself.

"I'll call Callen." Nell replied.

Kensi closed the curtain and fell to her knees, praying for Deeks to be alright. She didn't remember the last time she'd been so afraid. The doctors were hopeful, she reminded herself. She had to stay positive, and hope.

i'm a terrible person. i'm sorry. please don't hate me. i love you all

xox