Alright, it's been quite a bit, but let's get this cracky shitstorm on a roll!

"Okay, Honoka, I'm glad we're here..."the twintailed tsundere began,

"... but how many moving boxes did you bring?" Hanayo finished.

In the baggage claim of JFK airport in New York, a group of nine(?) girls with technicolored hair stand near a few stacks of medium-sized cardboard boxes marked "fragile" full of, you guessed it, sneakers. The eighteen-hour flight from Tokyo had weakened the teenagers, especially Umi and Maki who had seemed to be more volatile than usual.

"Honoka, I understand that we came here for Sneaker Con, but you never mentioned anything about selling! Besides, have you always had this many fucking pairs of shoes?" Umi railed.

"Umi, please calm down, people are looking at us," Kotori acknowledged the stares of natives onto their touristic company.

"I agree with Umi," Maki said, twirling a strand of hair with her left hand, "I could see wanting to flip a few pairs, but all of this? What's with that? I don't understand."

"Maki, your tsundere is showing," said the cat-like girl, distracted from her conversation with Hanayo.

"Ehehe, I thought that it would be easier to meet others by selling. I even reserved a few booths and have some displays in mind," Honoka explains sheepishly. "I borrowed some pairs from you guys anyway."

"...What?" the others inquired.

"Haha, don't worry, I'm not selling them, I think," Honker replied. "... I think."

"Oh my god Honoka, sometimes I want to strangle you like a fuckin- hold on, where are Eli and Nozomi?" Nico asked slowly.

Hanayo replies, saying, "They said something about bending over and seeing the fifty states."

"My god, someone is definitely bending over." Nico runs to the nearest women's restroom, making sure not to crease her Flu Game 12's or damage her biker denim.

"Holy shit Elicchi, if you dare to stop fucking me, I'll bite your hot fucking dick off," Nozomi's high-pitched voice could be heard coming from a stall in the women's restroom, sounds emanating from the latrine. Nico could see a black Supreme tank top hanging from the door of the stall as she walked in, and two pairs of joggers down to the couple's ankles. A pair of KITH Tubular Dooms could be seen on its toes, squeaking behind a pair of Tianjin Foams. "Aah, Nozomi, yell at me more! More!" Eli moaned, her voice strained and out of breath.

"Um, hello~?" Nico said obnoxiously and caustically.

"Ah, Nicocchi, have you come to join us?" Nozomi said in between breaths. Eli could only stutter in confusion and embarrassment.

"You're fucking kidding me, aren't you? Fuckin' titty monster. C'mon, we have to pick up our rental car," Nico said, restraining her wrath. "Have you even noticed that you're in a public fucking bathroom,"

"Oh, don't worry Nicocchi, I know it's a fucking bathroom" Nozomi said with a snicker in her voice. "That's why Elicchi's assaulting me with her long Russian sausage ;)"

"Please, I have a girlfriend with a dick twenty centimeters longer than Eli's."

"Then Maki's must reach to the moon and back, Nicocchi."

"LET'S GO OKAY THANKS."

"Eli, you've gotta get your girl on a leash," said Nico as the third years approached the others. Nozomi's and Eli's clothes seemed tattered, and were very obviously creased and wrinkled in multiple places.

"Other way around, Nicocchi," quipped Nozomi.

"Ignoring that, Eli, we need your help with these boxes," Nico said with a sigh.

"Rin and Kotori are carrying four boxes each! It's only fair, Eli," Rin exclaimed with medial amounts of genki.

The idol-group-turned-hypebeasts(read: idiots) marched out from the terminal and were met with their only transport, which was a box truck. It had a simple set-up, with two seats in the front and a closed container in the back, which proved hard to decide who would sit up front.

"Eli's obviously driving, but we have to decide who's sitting up front and quick; it's going to get dark soon and our hotel is quite a distance away," said Umi, noticing their newfound plight.

"Nozomi's definitely not being chosen because I'm sure she'll jerk her off and make us crash," Nico piped up. "... and Super Idol Nico Nii simply cannot ruin her appearance in the back of a truck."

"I'm too rich and pretty, so I can't sit in the back with the cargo."

"Rin's way too ecstatic for me to handle her; Honoka is as well."

"I might just bother you... so... *mumble mumble*"

"You shouldn't waste such important space on Kotori..."

"Umi will just worry about the boxes falling on her."

A slight quarrel had taken place, enchanced by the videos being taken by fans who recognized them. After multiple death threats thrown about by NicoMaki, passive-aggressive notes by KotoUmiPana, sheer ignorance by HonoRin, and sexual promises by NozoEli, the consensus was that Eli would be by herself in the truck's cabin.

The single-vehicle "convoy" had left the airport, en route to a certain hotel in the heart of New York City.

As expected, the box truck's cargo bay was uncomfortable to ride in, with the only place to sit being on its floor.

"Maki," Nico spat, "what happened to you being rich as an Akiba hooker?"

"What, did you expect a limo? Stop being so stuck-up and unappreciative," Maki replied "You know, I've already decided that you're not gettin' none of DIS DIK tonight," she ended, sounding out of character.

KotoHonoRinPana laid together on the right side of the truck, acting as barriers to keep them in place. Nozomi for once wasn't grinding on Eli's "long Russian sausage ;)", and simply shared a game of cards with Umi and Eli, albeit very difficultly done.

"Is this really what I have to go through for five fucking hours?" Nico complained, with the only reply being the squeaking of Nozomi on top of El- wait, what?

"Eli," Nico started, "shouldn't you be driving?" Nico hesistated to ask due to the nature of what Nozomi was doing to Eli.

"Um, well uuuuuhh, Nozomi was bored and I was urrgh bored. I was also tired, so after uhhgh a nap, I came back here." Eli tried her best to annunciate her words, but failed and slurred whenever Nozomi put her thigh in between her legs. "Didn't you ugh, notice that we weren't moving?"

"ELI PLEASE DRIVE NOW THANKS"

I'm finally out of a slump! It may take a while for another chapter, though. By all means, please stand by! - Phil