Goodbye for now

She spend the last day playing chess with Ron and Harry and even Hermione, the four of them played Exploding Snap together with Ron's brothers or helping them to pack their trunks.

"Don't you have to pack your things?" asked Ron while he was trying to squeeze clothes into his totally messy trunk.

Lillian shook her head in disbelief. "Seriously Ron you should fold your stuff before putting it into the trunk. And no I don't need to pack anything." She emptied his trunk and started folding shirts.

Ron pouted. "You sound like my mother."

"Don't you go home?" Harry seemed surprised.

"Well no. Since I came from another 'dimension' and since I by now didn't find a way to go back I will stay in Hogwarts over the holidays."

"Ah yeah we almost forgot, that you have no place to return to."

"Well I have but it's apparently not easy to reach."

They talked about their families while packing and went to have supper together later. The next day she decided it was a good idea to accompany the students when they were brought to Hogsmeade Station by boat. Since she was allowed to visit the village she joined Hagrid when he decided to have a drink in The Three Broomsticks. The pub was nice and while Muggle beer had never been her cup of tea she liked Butterbeer very much. She had an amusing day with Hagrid in the pub and later in his cabin. They talked a lot about creatures and she comforted him a little when he started feeling guilty again about the thing about Fluffy and Norbert. In the evening she had dinner with the few other students in the Great Hall. The House Tables and the Staff Table had been removed so the teachers and students that were staying at the school shared one table for every meal from now on until the end of the holidays. In her opinion teachers were humans just as anyone else.

On her way up to the third corridor she heard steps behind her. She turned around. It was Snape. She smiled and looked around. There was nobody there so she waited so he could catch up with her, but he just passed her by and saw him stepping onto the spiral staircase up to Dumbledore's office. She was surprised that he was still here. He hadn't been attending supper so she had assumed that he was already gone. Obviously he had to talk to Dumbledore. She sighed lightly and entered her room. Since it was still early she decided to do some of the homework. Not that it was much but she didn't feel tired and she needed something to do. So it happened that it was only 10:30 PM when she was already done. Practising charms could wait. She stretched. Since there wasn't much to do, she decide that she could as well go to bed. While she was undressing someone knocked at the door.

"Yes?"

"It's me." It was Snape's voice.

"Oh ah one moment."

She hurried to pull her pyjama from under her blanket but she already heard him say the password and push the handle, so she just grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around her. He closed the door and raised an eyebrow when he saw her like that but then noticed her clothes over the backrest of the armchair and a panty on the floor that was waiting to be stuffed into the laundry box. He turned around and was about to leave again.

Quickly she moved towards him and reached out one hand to grab his cloak. "No wait! - Uahh" Unfortunately she stumbled over the blanket and was on the verge of falling.

He swung around and leapt forward to catch her. "You shouldn't have done this." He looked away.

She knelt on the floor in his arms but in order to not hurt herself seriously she had let go of the blanket and while he had caught her it had slid down to her belly. "Uhm – thank you..." He was still looking away and now she noticed why. "You should have waited a moment before coming in."

"Obviously."

She detached herself from him and let go of the blanket completely. He was looking away anyways so it didn't matter. She walked over to her bed and found a nightshirt instead of a pyjama. She only now also noticed that house-elves had changed her sheets to the ones she had on her bed when she had 'arrived' in Hogwarts. She grabbed the nightshirt and pulled it over her head then walked over to Snape again who was still looking away.

"It's okay. I'm dressed."

He turned his head towards her again. In the dim light of the torches over her desk she could see that he was blushing.

"Don't feel embarrassed. It's not that I mind that you see me like that."

"It's still...inappropriate."

She sighed quietly. "Anyways. Why are you here?"

He walked past her and towards the desk pretending to look at her homework. "I...wanted to see you again – before I return to my residence over the holidays."

"Oh." She didn't know what else to say.

He took a deep breath, turned around and opened his mouth to say something but closed it again immediately.

She felt a little nervous and looked down spotting the panty. She bowed down, grabbed it and stuffed it into the laundry box then she turned towards him again and gave him a crooked smile. "Ehehe..."

"Come here."

She slowly approached him. For some reason she felt uneasy. Possibly it was only the shock of the fall. When she was close enough he reached out for her and pulled her into a tight hug as if he was afraid she could run away from him. She wrapped her arms around his waists and they stood there like that for a while before he finally let go of her but she didn't let go of him. She kept her arms wrapped around his waists and just looked up to him. "Kiss me..." she whispered softly and to her surprise he submitted to that demand. The kiss was long and started as gentle as the kiss in the morning, before Dumbledore had disturbed them, and became more passionate over time. When he finally detached his lips from hers her breath trembled a little and once again that tingling sensation started to spread through her body.

He noticed her trembling breath. "Are – are you alright?" He was apparently afraid that he might have almost suffocated her.

She nodded vaguely and smiled. "I haven't felt this good for a while..." she whispered.

"I was worried for a moment." He either tried to ignore what she had been hinting at or he just hadn't noticed it at all.

She decided to find out. She took his hand and placed it on her chest close to her breasts and pushed it down with gentle force pretty much how he had done it the previous night. "Can you feel it?"

His hand trembled laying so close to her breasts but he could feel her fast heartbeat so he nodded. "I – I can." His voice quivered a little.

She let go of his hand and he immediately retracted it.

"Now – kiss me again..." she said hinting a whisper.

This time he didn't submit to that demand. He just looked away.

She had somewhat expected something like this to happen so she wasn't overly disappointed.

She stepped away from him and over to her bed before she went to pick up her blanket from the floor. She neatly folded it back on her bed. He watched her - silently. When she was done she stood there at the foot end of her bed for a while looking at him eventually reaching out her arms. With a lot of hesitation he approached her and she once again wrapper her arms around his waists. He lowered his head and looked down as if he wanted to watch how she did it. Then he raised his head again and took another deep breath with eyes closed. She noticed that his breath was quivering. When he opened his eyes again there was something glaring in there for a moment before they went back to their usually fathomless expression.

"I have to leave now." He sounded casual.

"I see." She sighed and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

Suddenly he pulled her into his arms again and gave her another passionate kiss before walking over to her door. He turned around again. "I can't give you more than that. Not – not yet."

"I understand." She walked over to him and gave him a light hug. "So I guess this is good bye?"

"For now – yes. I won't be coming to the school during holidays."

"I figured so much." She tried to smile.

"Don't be angry with me." It almost sounded like he was pleading.

She shook her head. "I'm not."

"You look disappointed."

"I would lie if I said I wasn't."

He sighed. "Look..."

She silenced him by putting a finger on his lips again shaking her head. "It's okay. Really. I was just honest."

He took her hand. "I appreciate your honesty."

She smiled. "Well I don't want to keep you any longer."

He let go of her hand and kissed her a last time. "I see you next term. Await my owl for the next lesson appointment."

She nodded.

He opened the door and stepped outside before he left he looked at her a last time. "Happy Holidays." He whispered and then rushed down the corridor and vanished around the corner.

She closed the door and smiled though she actually felt somewhat sad. She closed the windows and the curtains and extinguished the torches with a wave of her wand before scrambling into her bed. For 6 long weeks she would be almost alone. Actually she was used to being alone. Before she had come here she had been alone for a very long time but now that she had been here for one year, and was about to spend more years, 6 weeks seemed to be like half and eternity. She wondered if her mother had reported her missing and how her flat might look like. She hadn't been there for a whole year. She turned around in her bed for quite a while thinking about home before she eventually fell asleep.