Title: Remembrance

Author: Lisa

Chapter: 2

Rating: PG

Author's Notes:

Chapter 2 of "Remembrance" is here! Many thanks to my kind reviewers so far, I really appreciate it. Enjoy, and don't forget to drop me a quick review at the end!

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and the others don't belong to me, but this story does.

So much for maintaining my resolve. I had tried, truly I did, had even gone so far as to write and stick a note on my door reminding me not to step foot outside my apartment during the hours that Usagi, Minako, and the rest of their friends would supposedly be at the arcade. As the hours and seconds ticked by, however, I found my determination weakening by the near-insatiable urge just to see her again. I didn't even need to interact with her in any meaningful way. One glance at her smiling face was all that was required to calm my frazzled nerves (all the while realizing how pathetic that sounded even in my own internal musings).

That was how I found myself standing like a prize idiot outside the doors of the Crown, peering in with an air of feigned calm. In reality, my heart was beating so loudly I was sure the passersby on the sidewalk who were presently shooting me strange looks could hear. After scanning the heads of various clusters of patrons in the uncharacteristically busy venue, I spotted their group. Usagi's odango-shaped hairstyle was unmistakable, even with her back thankfully facing the entrance. I gazed at her through the glass door, watching as her head bobbed in laughter and catching the barest trace of her lips as she paused to take a sip of water. I suddenly hoped the girls would decide to come here regularly. At least then I could get my daily fix of Usagi, even if from afar.

Deciding that I had lingered there long enough, I prepared to turn and walk away quietly before anyone I knew had noticed my presence. Sadly, my plan soon backfired when Minako "just so happened" to look toward the entrance and catch me in the midst of my "stealthy" departure. She immediately jumped up, a bright smile of pleasure and something I couldn't quite describe lighting up her face as she ran toward me with surprising speed. I was frozen in my tracks, and before I even had time to blink, she had grabbed a hold of my arm and was now pulling me toward my clueless angel.

"You have great timing, Mamoru-san," Minako said happily as she shifted her seat at the table closer to the blue-haired girl beside her and expertly placed an empty chair next to herself, "we just got here a few minutes ago and were still deciding what to order." I dared to sneak a glance at Usagi from across the table and saw that her face had mysteriously turned a shade of light pink. Maybe she felt uncomfortable having me there; after all, I was just some random stranger who—in her mind, at least—she'd just briefly met yesterday.

"Arigato, Minako, but I'd hate to intrude on your group," I demurred politely and began standing up from my seat.

"Please stay." Usagi's voice was so quiet I barely caught the words, yet she very well could have screamed them at the top of her lungs to have the same effect. I fell back into my seat as if commanded, my face now burning and, I suspected, the same shade of pink as Usagi's.

"Oh, how rude of me!" Minako exclaimed suddenly. "You haven't met the other girls yet." She proceeded to point and offer a brief introduction for each. "That's Ami-chan. She's a certified genius and loves textbooks almost as much as Usagi loves her manga." I nodded and offered a small smile. I was never the best at meeting new people, but something about being introduced to whom were clearly Usagi's closest friends made the experience less intimidating. This was the window to Usagi's life that I had hoped, yet had never expected, to be able to peer into. "Over there's Rei-chan. She can tell the future." Minako nodded proudly, while the raven-haired girl in question groaned.

"Minako-chan, how many times do I have to tell you that's not what I do? You make me sound like a freak or something," Rei muttered angrily before flashing me a wide smile. "Rumor has it you're 'drop dead gorgeous.'" She gave me a once over, and I shifted in my seat uncomfortably, unaccustomed to blatant female attention in such close proximity. "For once, the rumors are true."

"Rei-chan." Usagi's face had gone from light pink to deep crimson in a matter of seconds. I remembered Usagi's description of me, as retold by Minako, and couldn't help but feel my heart soar. In fact, I couldn't recall the last time it felt this light.

"This is Mako-chan, the best chef in town." Minako winked. "She makes exceptionally delicious cookies if you're ever interested." 'Mako-chan' was the tallest girl in the group with dark brown hair and sparkling green eyes. I could tell that anyone who hurt Usagi or the other girls would likely have to her to contend with.

"And finally, you know Usagi-chan, of course." Usagi lifted her eyes to mine, and I could with absolute seriousness say that if the world around us had come crashing down in that moment, I doubt I would've noticed. I had missed that gaze so much these past years, and each warm look she gave me only left me ravenous for more.

"I have to say, Usagi-chan," Rei's teasing voice broke through the haze that descended upon me as soon as Usagi's eyes had locked onto mine, "who would be absentminded enough to walk to the wrong apartment in broad daylight?"

Usagi opened her mouth, a retort at the ready, but was rudely interrupted by the always "impeccably timed" Motoki who had come to take our orders.

"And what can I get you lovely ladies this fine…oh, Mamoru." He scratched his head, looking deeply confused as to how I of all people would end up sitting with a group of five—and admittedly all very attractive—young women. His eyes fell on Usagi, and I could almost see the mental gymnastics at work in his brain. "Oh…oh!" I groaned under my breath, hoping that Motoki wouldn't ruin everything. Luckily, it seemed that was all he could manage to say on the matter, and I interjected before further damage could be done.

"I'll have my usual please, Motoki," I said smoothly and presented him with my folded menu that I'd never even bothered to open.

"Sure…" He seemed to be slowly coming to after the initial shock, and I sincerely hoped that the girls would attribute his overly happy behavior to his excitement in getting new customers. "And for everyone else?"

"The milkshakes here are especially good, if you like that kind of stuff," I supplied nonchalantly after having secretly watched Usagi to see what she was planning to order. Her gaze had lingered the longest on the milkshake section, and my recommendation seemed to seal her decision.

"I'll have the triple chocolate milkshake, extra thick and with whipped cream on top, please," she said sweetly and batted her eyes at Motoki for good measure. I mentally took note of that order and stored it in my growing repertoire of all things Usagi.

"Of course." Motoki flashed Usagi his trademark smile, and I watched in dismay as she returned it with equal fervor. A part of me instantly wondered if that was the type of person she was usually attracted to—that is, the friendly, annoyingly cheerful type that always seemed to have things go their way. Not that I could ever blame Motoki for his happiness or be afraid that he would compete for Usagi's affections. Notwithstanding his long-time girlfriend Reika, Motoki was the type of friend that wouldn't even think of pursuing someone knowing my feelings toward that person. There was a reason why I trusted him above all others.

As the other girls made their orders, I reflected over the events of this afternoon. What exactly was I doing? I was now in dangerously uncharted territory, and the thought scared me more than I'd like. I had gone from clinging to sparse memories from a decade ago to meeting and sharing smiles with the angel in question in a span of just over twenty-four hours. This whirlwind had blown through all my usual barriers and walls, and I was now left feeling terribly exposed. My natural instinct was to withdrawal, to retreat back to the fortress that was safe and familiar rather than remain open and vulnerable to attack.

Yet watching her sitting mere feet across from me, so close in fact that if I were to stretch my arms, I could grasp those delicate fingers that clung loosely around her glass of water, I found myself leaving my shelter more and more, drawn out by the invitation of what may come. Was it possible, that despite her having no memories of our past, that she could still like me of all people? Or was it only because she had not seen me, the real me, the me that left most running in their haste not to get infected by the darkness that plagued me?

"Mamoru-san, are you alright?"

Ami's quiet voice broke the rather unpleasant turn of my thoughts, and I looked down to see that a mug of steaming coffee had at some point been placed before me.

"Hai, I'm fine," I said quickly and took a large sip of my version of liquid courage.

"I get lost in my own thoughts too," she supplied shyly, "there's just too much to wonder about and plan and imagine."

"I know exactly what you mean," I chuckled and took another swig of the dark liquid. "So what do you do to come back to reality?"

"Being friends with Usagi-chan helps," she giggled then flushed delicately, "she's very much in the present." We watched as Usagi determinedly worked on her milkshake, and the satisfied look on her face indicated that she would be back for more in the near future.

I laughed, half-mesmerized by the traces of chocolate that darkened the blond's lips, and dared myself to wonder what it would be like if…

"Say, Mamoru-san," Minako chirped beside me, luckily snapping me out of my ungentlemanly thoughts, "did you have any plans for New Year's?" I fumbled with my words just as Motoki came into earshot with my free refill of coffee.

"I—"

"He doesn't really," Motoki interjected smoothly while my face turned red. "Well, I guess dinner at my family's, but he didn't really want to go to that anyway." Motoki winked quickly at me, and I wondered if he even knew the definition of subtlety. He might as well have announced that I would be dying to join the girls for whatever event Minako was hinting at.

"Why not both? I was going to host a small party at my apartment. Just us, a few friends from school, and any guests they might bring. You two are both invited; feel free to stop by after your dinner!"

I could only describe the rush of emotions from Minako's casual invitation as something akin to terrified exhilaration. I normally hated parties and other loud gatherings, which usually ended with me sulking in the most secluded area available while Motoki chatted up various strangers and made acquaintances as if his life depended on it. I never understood why, given that he definitely didn't have a shortage of friends, but I suppose that summed up our different personalities pretty effectively. On the other hand, this party meant that Usagi would be there, likely in a dress and looking more breathtaking than anyone should have a right to, possibly even willing to dance with me…not that I was particularly well-versed in that area, but that was beside the point.

As I battled with my conflicted feelings, Motoki was busy accepting the invitation on both our behalves. So it was quickly settled that Motoki, Reika and I would head over as soon as our dinner was over. Armed with his victory, Motoki all-but-skipped away to serve his next customer while I glared at his unsuspecting back. He was going to get an earful tonight on why it was never advisable to meddle in my social life (or lack thereof).

I was more than happy to spend the next hour or so listening to the girls' lively chatter and plans for gift shopping while sneaking periodic glances at the blond beauty in my direct line of sight. I'd like to think she also looked my way on more than one occasion, but perhaps that was wishful thinking on my part.

Before long, however, the afternoon was drawing to a close, as the girls had to return to their respective families for dinner. I felt the familiar twinge as we slid from our seats and headed toward the main counter to pay. Everyone else had someone to return home to, whereas I literally had no memory of what that felt like…

Lost in my thoughts as always, I nearly jumped at the feeling of a warm hand on my arm. "Mamoru-san, I'm glad you came today." Her eyes were what I could only describe as cautiously hopeful, but for what, I didn't dare guess.

"I had fun," I smiled and meant it. For once, I felt energized rather than the drained feeling that would usually settle in as soon as I left a gathering. For once, I didn't want this day to end.

Minako and I ended up walking home together in almost complete silence. I wasn't used to this quiet version of Minako, and part of me expected her to tell me something had gone horribly wrong. Maybe she had seen what I was really like and was trying to find a polite way to tell me not to come to her party—in fact, not to see Usagi ever again. That I was used to. What I wasn't used to, however, was how she next beseeched me.

"Mamoru-san, promise me you'll give this a real chance. Don't…" she paused, as if struggling for the right words, "don't push her away, okay?" She had apparently been watching me the entire afternoon and could see the hesitation that plagued me every time I allowed myself to speak to Usagi or accept her smile.

"Do you really think someone like me could deserve someone like her?" We had gone into the building at this point and were now riding the elevator up to our respective floors. The elevator signaled the arrival to my floor with a loud ding, but my legs remained glued to the floor as I waited for her answer with bated breath.

"You know what I think, Mamoru-san? I think you're a man running away from happiness."

I barely heard the second ding of the elevator as it closed in my face. I had meant to ask her, was it really running from happiness if you already knew that the outcome would be decidedly unhappy? I seemed to have a knack for sucking the joy out of everything I touched—could I truly, honestly believe that this time would be any different?

Well, this fic is turning out to be quite angsty, isn't it? As you've seen in my more recent stories, I seem to have a thing for Mamo-angst, I guess. Anyway, hope you enjoyed; I wasn't really expecting to update this story in particular, but I was randomly inspired! My goal is to finish this fic by New Year's 2016, so please stay tuned. I expect this'll have a couple more chapters and a short epilogue. Until then, please review! :)

This story was written and posted September 2015.