Title: Remembrance

Author: Lisa

Chapter: 5

Rating: PG

Author's Notes:

So this chapter is way late – it's now March and I'm writing about New Year's, but better late than never right…? Anyway, hope you enjoy, and drop me a review at the end!

Disclaimer: Sailor Moon and the others don't belong to me, but this story does.

"You made it!"

The door swung open abruptly, and we were instantly greeted with the sight of Minako's cheerful face. She was clad in a sparkly golden dress that flattered her figure remarkably, and a matching pointy paper hat adorned the top of her head. She clapped her hands excitedly a couple times before extending one hand out to Reika as I nervously surveyed the guests already present from over her shoulder. There were at least a dozen people gathered inside, and the energy of the room was decidedly festive. I swallowed involuntarily, silently praying that my presence wouldn't cast a dark cloud over the occasion (I couldn't say it would be the first time, unfortunately).

"I'm Minako…you must be Motoki's girlfriend, yes?"

Reika seemed a bit taken aback by Minako's openness before reaching toward her awaiting hand. "Hai, I am. It's nice to meet you, Minako."

"You did well for yourself, Motoki," Minako winked not so subtly. From her familiar tone, it was as if she and Motoki had been friends forever. "She's gorgeous!"

"She never stops reminding me of it too," Motoki joked back before receiving a nudge in the arm from his girlfriend. "Thanks for having us."

"My pleasure." Minako beamed again. "Oh but where are my manners? Please come in! We already have quite a few people here. Plenty of food and drinks for everyone." She stepped aside and let our small party through the entrance. Motoki and Reika walked in and I mechanically followed suit before I felt a small pressure on my wrist that stopped me cold.

"Mamoru, can I speak to you for a minute?"

I suddenly felt too warm, the buttons on my shirt too constricting as my lungs clamored for air. Feeling as if I might suffocate, I unbuttoned the top button of my shirt while shooting a nervous glance at Motoki. He, for his part, only offered me a shrug and an encouraging thumbs up. So much for 'extraction? Just give the signal.' You'd think my desperate look for back-up would've done the trick. Instead, the couple wandered off to join a group of party-goers by the snack table while Minako cornered me by the door. I knew it was serious when she pulled me into the hallway and closed the door behind her. I exhaled deeply as the lively chatter subsided from inside subsided to a low hum and crossed my arms in front of my chest in an instinctive defensive measure.

Minako picked up on my body language and offered me a small smile to diffuse the situation. "I'm worried about Usagi-chan," she started slowly, and I felt my heart skip a beat. Of course she would be worried. What best friend wouldn't worry about a man who obsessed about events from over a decade ago and clung desperately to a woman he didn't know? Wasn't that the very definition of crazy?

"Gomen," I apologized immediately, guessing that she was about to warn me to never darken Usagi's life again. It was only fair if she had, and I would never fault or think less of her for it. "If you want me to stay away from her, you don't need to tell me. I already know." My shoulders slumped, and I ran a nervous hand through my hair out of habit.

"Stay away from her?" Now she really looked at me like I had lost any tenuous grasp to sanity that I previously possessed. "What in the world are you going on about?"

"So you don't want me to avoid her?" I couldn't really understand what she was saying. My brain processed the words but didn't dare read into their deeper meaning.

"No, of course not." Minako sounded exasperated now, as if she were speaking to a small child.
"I want you to talk to her, Mamoru. I don't know what exactly happened between you two yesterday, but she's besides herself. She keeps saying how she ruined it with you, how you don't want to see her again. But I know that can't be true, can it?"

I was dumbstruck as Minako spoke, hardly daring to believe…to hope. "That couldn't be farther from the truth," I whispered sadly. "The truth is…when I'm around her…" I paused, my feelings too jumbled and overpowering to shape into discernible words. That was a testament to the hold that Usagi Tsukino had over me, from ten years ago until the present day.

"That's all I needed to know." She gave my hand a reassuring squeeze, and I gathered some semblance of strength from the warmth of her touch. "Now go back in there and tell her exactly what you told me." She stopped and reconsidered, the corners of her mouth pulled down into a slight frown as she concentrated. "Okay, maybe not exactly what you just told me, but…you get the idea."

"Arigato, Minako," I replied. I had hardly set foot into her apartment and already I felt drained. This was why I never liked parties.

I found her standing by herself on the balcony, gazing up at the crescent moon that glowed dimly among a sea of shimmering stars. She was wearing a pale blue dress that clung flawlessly to her every curve and ended just slightly above her knees. Her legs were darkened by a pair of black tights, made ever shapelier by her black heels. If there ever was a time when I found myself without any defenses or shred of self-control, tonight would be the night. In this moment, I found myself utterly exposed and at the mercy of this tiny angel.

She must've heard me approaching, because she turned around just as I slid open the glass door and stepped into the biting cold. Her expression was unreadable as I silently joined her and leaned against the railing, gazing down at the thinning crowd below.

"Usagi," I said finally, and a flint of disappointment flashed quickly before vanishing in the expanse of those sky-blue eyes once more.

"Not Usako?" She tried to joke, and I tensed immediately.

"I can explain, that was—" I started immediately but stopped mid-sentence when she shook her head with surprising force.

"What's to explain? You said it was a mistake, right?" Her eyes were desperate now, pleading, boring into me like daggers chipping away at the stone walls around my heart. "Who was I kidding? To think someone like you could—" She covered her mouth as if she had said too much, and I could see tears begin to form at the corners of those blue orbs that I loved so much.

"Someone like me could…?" I was genuinely confused now. The conversation was quickly derailing into something I couldn't keep up with. My intended apology now seemed like a distant memory as I frantically tried to parse through her words for their hidden meaning. What was she really saying that she…?

"That someone like you could want me!" The words had finally exploded out of her like a volcano erupting after years of pent up pressure. Her face was deathly pale now, and she trembled visibly as she now regarded my flabbergasted expression.

"Usako…"

My arms had taken a life of their own and had scooped the shaking blond into my embrace. My right hand ran up and down the length of her back as she sobbed openly into my chest, her own arms clutching onto me with such force that I feared she might rip open my shirt from behind. I continued my soothing movements as she hiccupped and waited until her tears began to subside. I could've waited all night if she wanted. As far as I was concerned, I had all I ever wanted right there in my arms, and I would be the world's greatest fool to ever let that go again.

Usagi sniffled before bringing her tear-stained face up to meet mine. She offered me a shaky smile, one that I returned tenfold. "Gomen, I—"

"No need to apologize," I said gently. "If anything, I'm the one who should be sorry to have sent such mixed signals. To make you think anything to do with you could be a mistake. Do you have any idea how much I…" I stopped abruptly before I scared the poor girl. There wasn't any need to bare the deepest recesses of my soul to her tonight. Thanks to whoever above decided to give me another chance at happiness, I had all the time in the world now to show Usagi just how deeply she moved me.

"Mamo-chan…" She buried her face in my shirt again as my heart leapt at her own pet name for me. Mamo-chan…I loved it already. "You really know how to keep a girl guessing, don't you?" She giggled and slapped me playfully on the arm as she wiped the remaining remnants of tears from her cheeks. "How do I look?"

"Absolutely divine." It felt so good to finally be able to voice my attraction to her. "You look beautiful tonight, Usako."

We stayed in each other's embrace for some time, lost in our own private paradise, not caring if everyone at the party could watch our little love show through the sliding glass doors. Motoki and Reika were undoubtedly planning how best to gloat, but I was too happy to let that sour my night.

Usagi shivered slightly, and I cursed myself for forgetting how thin her dress must be. "Let's head inside, you must be freezing." I ran my fingers across her bare arms to warm them, and she beamed. To be the recipient of that dazzling smile was…indescribable. I was truly ending in the best way possible, and the new year now seemed brighter than I could have ever imagined. I didn't even care that I was starting to sound like ever-the-optimist Motoki. Love, especially reciprocated love, did that to a person I guess.

We made our way inside and stopped by the refreshments, where we sipped on some punch and watched the other couples dancing on the makeshift dance floor in Minako's living room.

"Dance with me, Mamo-chan?" With her wide, pleading eyes and slightly pouting lips, what man in his right mind could refuse such a request? Even if I otherwise despised dancing.

"Anything for my Usako," I returned smoothly, and she gave a small jump of excitement before promptly dragging me into the crowd. Apparently love was making me into a romantic too.

As we swayed slowly to the music, her head resting comfortably on my shoulder, I marveled at how a couple hours' time could change my life so dramatically for the better. I tightened my grip on her small waist and silently cheered at her barely audible sigh of contentment. Over her head, I saw Minako looking at us with a smile that rivaled Usagi's. I mouthed my thanks to her, and she gave me a victory sign that made me laugh. Minako never ceased to surprise.

"What's funny, Mamo-chan?"

"Nothing Usako," I continued chuckling. "Nothing at all."

After a few songs, Usako luckily decided she was too tired to continue dancing. Only thirty minutes remained of this year now, and my excitement grew with each passing minute that brought us closer to midnight. At midnight, if I were so lucky, if my Usako were so obliging, then just perhaps…I would finally get a taste of heaven.

"Let's go somewhere else." Her hands snapped me back from my rosy fantasies. "Would you be willing to show me your apartment?" Her tone was light, but her eyes betrayed her anxiety. As if I could deny her anything. "After all, that's how we first met, right?"

I froze at her last statement, as my omissions and deceit from the past week hit me like a bucket of ice water. I had gone from a man with nothing to lose to a man with a priceless treasure. Yet how long would I be able to hold onto this treasure? Would it be ripped away from me like everything else in my life?

"Sure," I managed to say, expertly ignoring her last sentence. "I can barely hear you in here."

Minutes later we were standing by the door to my apartment, her hand nestled securely in mine. My other hand fumbled with the keys before I heard the familiar click of the lock and pushed open the heavy door. Due to my obsessive cleaning earlier in the day, I was at least able to present Usagi with an immaculate apartment.

"Want a tour? There's not much to see."

"Please," she smiled, offering no indication that she wanted to let go of my hand. I was all too happy to oblige. She took stock of my living room, kitchen, and bathroom, noting how neat everything was for a bachelor (as Motoki never ceased to give me grief for). We finally came to my bedroom, and she surveyed the room with keen interest. Like everything else in the apartment, it was largely bare and only housed the essentials—a bed, a dresser, a nightstand. Yet something caught her eye on the nightstand, and as she walked toward it, I thought my heart might break through my ribcage and make a run for it.

Usagi picked up the small picture frame and traced her finger against the time-worn edges gently. "This is beautiful," she murmured. Her voice was distant, as if her mind were far removed from reality. "Whoever gave this rose to you must've been very important, for you to have kept it all this time."

I approached her slowly before taking the frame away from her slightly clammy grasp. "Hai," I whispered, gazing at the rose that she had offered me all those years ago. I had preserved it with great care, desperately clinging to the memories of the one good thing that had come into my life at my lowest point. It was a testament to her power over me, a symbol of her permanent imprint on my soul. "She was." There was nothing else I could say.

She replaced the frame to its proper place on the nightstand before wordlessly walking toward the balcony door. I followed mechanically, my mind whirling nothing and everything at the same time. Had happiness eluded me once more, and even worse, had it escaped me only after giving me such a tantalizing taste of what could have been?

The countdown to midnight had begun, as people in the street and in various apartments in the building began chanting each passing second with increasing eagerness. I was glued to her face, trying to get any shred of clarity into what she was thinking, but her face was uncharacteristically expressionless.

Ten, nine, eight…

I couldn't take it anymore. "Usako, Usako," I all but pleaded as I pulled her body against mine and lowered my face toward hers, feeling the stray hairs framing her face tickle my cheeks.

Seven, six, five…

Usagi leaned toward me, her face suddenly reflecting a frenzy of emotions that I could hardly keep track—hope, fear, longing…recognition. "Mamo-chan."

"Stay with me?" It was half-question, half-pleading, all desire. I couldn't, wouldn't lose her a second time. Not when we were this close to finding our way back to each other again. I was entirely selfish to lay claim to her; that I would admit to without hesitation. But a part of me was simply missing without her, and as inconceivable as it may be, a part of her seemed to be missing without me too.

Four, three, two, one…

"Silly Mamoru," she said playfully, "always."

Happy New Year!

As the cheers erupted all around us, her lips crashed into mine, and in her kiss I tasted the undeniable sweetness of a future with infinite possibilities.

Well, that was fun to write! Hope you enjoyed it too – one more short epilogue to go. Stay tuned, and please review!

This story was written and posted March 2016.