It's been a little while, but here it is. Chapter 25! I'm surprised I made it this far… Thank you to everyone who's been following or favorited or reviewed, whether it was to say what you thought or give me pairing ideas. Thank you!

25. Unknowing Chocolate Kisses and Pears

Oh, Hell No

He didn't exactly know when or how it had even happened. He'd been walking down the Academy's halls, long after classes had been let out for the day. He'd forgotten one of his text books in his locker (typical, for him) and had quickly run back to get it before he could carry on any farther down the agonizingly long steps at the DWMA's entrance. There was absolutely no way he was going to walk up and down those any more than necessary.

So, while he'd been advancing on his destination and could see his locker in sight, a pair of rough hands grabbed him around his shoulders and a female voice had cried, "Hey, don't worry, everyone! I've got a plan!"

Squirming to get a good look at his captor, he noticed a long strand of light brown hair and immediately recognized the older teen who seized him to be none other than Liz Thompson. Just the thought of her ruthless fingers wrapped tightly around his scrawny upper arms had him about wetting himself.

"W-What are you-?" he began but was promptly pulled backwards down the hallway by the weapon partner of Lord Death's son. He didn't dare speak as he was tugged around a corner and then down another lengthy corridor. He was mustering up the courage to demand why he was being hallway hauled when Liz pushed him into a dimly lit room.

"This is your solution?" came the half serious, half baffled voice of Death the Kid. "Hiro?"

"He's skinny and his face looks like a creepy Japanese doll you could find in the market, dress up and all that crap," Liz insisted, turning away from Hiro and disappearing behind a curtain that hung from the side of the room.

Hiro blinked warily, taking the time to look over his surroundings. Judging by the overstuffed boxes of props, the gaudy clothes oozing from closets like jelly escaping a donut, and the numerous cardboard trees and houses, he assumed he was backstage in the Academy's auditorium.

From behind the dark, velvet curtain, Liz emerged, a garish black and white gown billowing out of her arms. Marching up to Hiro, she thrust the abomination into his unprepared arms. "Change."

"Ch-Change?" Hiro sputtered, looking horrified. "Into this?"

"No, into that suit of shining armor over there because it'll suit you so much better," Liz snapped sarcastically, shoving Hiro backwards along with the puffball of a dress. "Of course this!"

"B-But why?" Hiro whined, looking to Kid for answers, but the Shinigami wasn't paying attention to him, too busy rummaging around in a cardboard box that could swallow him up and leave no evidence. Beside the box was a lopsided, bright green throne Hiro had failed to notice before, as well as Black Star who was sprawled across the seat, snoring contently.

"Can you just strip down and throw that ugly thing on already?" Liz growled, turning and retreating behind the curtain again. "I'm not looking or anything, okay? You have ten minutes or else."

Hiro squeaked and hastily began pulling off his shirt.

-/-\-|-/-\-

It took both Hiro and Kid to get the pathetic meister laced up in the horrid gown. He'd whipped it over his pants in less than a minute, scrambling helplessly when he attempted putting his face through the tight, silk sleeves. When he'd corrected himself and managed to shove his head through the lacy, high collar, he began fighting with the sleeves again. He had skinny arms, yes, but he couldn't help but think the stupid costume was designed for a stick figure.

He finally got his arms through both sleeves, twisting awkwardly to button up the back of the dress and tighten the ribbons around the middle so the fabric didn't fall about him like a lumpy cylinder.

"This thing's a disturbing piece of work," Kid muttered from behind him, and Hiro nodded, his shoulders sagging drearily as Kid fastened the two long lines of buttons that ran from the top of the collar down to his waist. If he was to count, he'd guess there were around thirty silver clasps in all.

After the Grim Reaper tightened the fat strip of ribbon around Hiro's torso and tied it into a perfectly symmetrical bow, he nodded in satisfaction. "That should do it. Put this stuff on, too."

Hiro flinched as a small cardboard box was handed to him, and he gazed inside, cringing at the deadly looking high heels and a flashy jeweled crown. Emptying the contents onto the ground, he stumbled to the floor and began tugging off his shoes, giving the fancy, silver heels a dreaded stare. "Can you tell me what's going on now?"

Kid didn't answer, appearing thoughtful as he walked up behind Hiro, pulling a wavy, blonde wig down on his head. "Well, we're not completely sure," he began, pulling and prodding at the hair before burying the fake crown into the blonde tresses. "No one knows Maka's currently occupied, so what you're going to be doing is-"

"Three minutes," Liz's breathless voice cut in as she hurried into the cluttered room. "Patty's coming in with the coffin."

"Th-Th-The what?" Hiro demanded in a shrill, shaking voice. "Wh-What are you going to do to me?"

"Didn't you explain it to him?" Liz inquired, sending Kid an accusing look.

The Grim Reaper frantically shrugged, pulling a large brush through Hiro's wig and grabbing a fistful of hair to put up in a high ponytail.

Rolling her eyes with an exasperated sigh, Liz muttered, "This would be so much easier if it wasn't dress rehearsal!"

"Here's the coffin, Big Sis!"

Hiro whipped around, earning a disappointed scowl from Kid who was still working on the frightened meister's wig. Much to the blonde's horror, Patty was rolling in an ebony casket with a bronze skull on the lid. She wheeled it in front of Hiro, looking the boy up and down before breaking out into a fit of giggles.

"Alright everyone, one minute," Liz murmured, nodding a silent thank you to her younger sister. "Let's do this."

-/-\-|-/-\-

"And so, with a heart heavy with grief, Sir Leofric Skeletalni reaches his final destination: The Graveyard of Troubled Souls. He approaches the casket of dear Millie Nightshade, choking back tears and snot."

"Soul, don't mess up the lines, please!" Marie called up to the stage where the red eyed scythe was lounging back in a lawn chair, papers in his hands and surrounding his feet. "That's why we got rid of Black Star, remember?"

Soul snorted, returning to the pages in his hand and nodding to a few meisters and weapons scattered on the stage. "He approaches the casket of dear Millie and with shaking hands, places them over the top of the black coffin. He is prepared to die alongside his love, though I don't see why, she wasn't anything impressive to begin with."

"Soul!" Marie scolded gently, giving the narrator a warning look.

"What?" Soul scoffed indignantly, giving the director a helpless look. "Is Maka really the best choice for Millie? I mean, if I say anymore on the matter, she's probably going to jump out of that coffin and strangle me. I thought Lady Nightshade was a kind soul?"

From beside the coffin, a few of the actors gave it a wary look, but the person inside remained silent.

"Maka's a very good choice. She captures Lady Nightshade's essence quite nicely," Marie replied, motioning for Soul to continue.

"She also captures kishin quite nicely, yet she wasn't the one to play the evil lord Kenelm Acid," Soul mumbled under his breath, returning to his lines. "He is prepared to die alongside his love and can feel the cold blade of the knife he has hidden away in his tunic. After giving his love a final kiss, he will join her in the afterlife."

From beside the black coffin, Oxford, the meister acting out the role of Leofric, grabbed the edge of the casket's lid, inhaling dramatically and causing Soul to stick his finger down his throat and pretend to vomit. Ox glared at him from the corner of his eyes and slowly slid back the coffin's lid, leaning forward to kiss Lady Nightshade.

But before he could even make it an inch in the figure's direction, he came to a screeching halt when he saw the person lying in the coffin was not Maka Albarn like it was supposed to be. No, it was someone inferior to himself and Maka, the lowly loser who dawdled at the bottom of the DWMA's food chain and managed to do something that helped his situation only once when he found Excalibur. The insignificant, failing, last-person-he-would-ever-think-about-kissing Hiro.

The only thing Ox could do as he stared down at the sudden replacement who looked just as surprised as him was curl his lip back in disgust and growl, "Oh, hell no."

-/-\-|-/-\-

A/N: Well, that one was supposed to be Ox and Hiro at the little bit towards the end. I don't know what happened to Maka that she couldn't attend play practice, but the only people she told were Kid and Liz. So the first person they found to fill in for her was Hiro because he was small enough to fit in the coffin. I guess Kid was too, but he had other roles he had to play and they weren't about to shove a sleeping Black Star into the dress.

I haven't the slightest idea what the play was about. Romeo and Juliet with Snow White and Sleeping Beauty thrown in? I don't know...

Hope you enjoyed it. ^^