Here's chapter 11. And to Devlin Dracul, Furuichi had basically done something a little similar to what Hecadoth had done to help Hilda get out of her shock. He shows Hilda that Baby Beel is alive and tells her that he's in trouble. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter.

Disclaimer: Beelzebub belongs to Ryuuhei Tamura, not me.

Chapter 11- Guilt

"What's happened to the body, Coatl?" Furuichi asks as Quetzalcoatl exits from the school.

"Oh, I took it back to the headquarters for an examination to be done by Furcas-sensei," Quetzalcoatl tells us. "The results should be back in a few days, so I'll let you all know when they do come back."

Hecadoth glances at me for a second before turning back to everyone else. "Maybe we should call it a day," he suggests.

"That's probably a good idea," Furuichi agrees.

Hilda nods. "I need some quiet time to myself as well," she adds, her voice soft. It's quite clear that she's still affected by Mantha violating her mind as well.

"Okay then," Oga says. "Let's go, Hilda." The three of them start making their way home, with Hilda taking the flammard with her.

Likewise, Toujou and Shizuka also leave to go home, and Quetzalcoatl also leaves shortly afterwards. Hecadoth takes my hand as the two of us start walking home.

Throughout the entire walk home, I'm silent. I allow my mind to wander to the events that happened in the school library. Basically, we discovered that there is indeed a demon who was behind it, and it's quite clear that he's the one who killed Nojima Kumi, Saionji Tadashi, and Fukuda Kaori. But who would've thought that that demon, Mantha, would be such a sadistic and terrifying bastard?

He mind-raped both Hilda and I, and made us hallucinate our worst fears. Hilda had thought that her beloved Young Master was being tortured and killed in front of her, and I was made to believe that I had smallpox… God, I don't think I can ever erase that image from my head. Those horrifying pustules covering my body…

Why am I terrified of smallpox, you ask? Well, I had a nightmare about having it a while back, and the fact that I also have trypophobia really didn't make it better. I was afraid that those pustules would break and leave holes in my body, just like what happened in that nightmare.

It was honestly the most terrifying thing I've ever had to live through. Is this what he did to those three people before he killed them? I hate to think about it. My mind feels… violated and broken, and my nausea still hasn't gone away completely. I still remember how I accidentally stabbed Mantha, and I feel my head hurting even more than ever.

I killed someone for the first time. Say whatever you want, that I was simply defending myself, that I killed a demon and not a human, but it doesn't change the fact that I killed someone. That his blood is on my hands and my blade. What are Mom and Dad going to say about this? Will they still love me, or will they be horrified at what I've done?

Briefly, I wonder what Hecadoth thinks of this. He's a soldier, a man of war. He's gone into battle many times before, so he must've killed as well. What does he think of me, now that he saw me kill someone? What was it like for him to kill someone for the first time? Did he have the same reaction as me?

"How are you feeling?" Hecadoth asks me gently.

I shake my head. "Not too great…" I admit. "I just… I need some time to myself…"

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"When we get home."

"Got it."

We continue walking in silence, Hecadoth respecting my wish to talk later. I feel his hand gently squeeze mine in an attempt to comfort me. Glancing down as he does so, I look back up and see him smile at me. I can't help but feel touched, and I feel a small smile playing at the corner of my lips. It lasts for a brief moment before I turn my gaze back to the ground.

When we arrive home, I greet Mom and Dad in a solemn manner. "I'm back," I say.

"What's up?" Dad asks me, looking at me in concern.

Hecadoth looks slightly uneasy. "Something happened in the library that's affected her a bit," he tells him. "We'll explain a little later."

I make my way to my room and Hecadoth follows me. "Tell me, Yumi," he starts as he sits next to me on my bed. "What exactly did Mantha make you hallucinate?" he asks me.

I tense up as I remember what he did to me. "He…" I start. "He made me hallucinate that I had severe smallpox. It's something that I'm honestly terrified about."

"Smallpox… what is that?" he asks, looking confused.

"It's an extremely deadly disease that's killed millions of people all over the Human World throughout history," I explain. "If you're curious as to what it looks like, you can try and search for an image, but I wouldn't recommend it. It's been eradicated, fortunately, but it's not a pretty sight to look at. It's essentially real-life body horror."

"Can you describe it?" he asks.

"Basically, you're covered in large pustules with small depressions in the center," I tell him. "As I said before, it's extremely ghastly. That's why I was freaking out back there. But my mind…" I rub my forehead. "It feels violated now, and I hate it. I hate how weak I was back there."

Hecadoth wraps his arm around my shoulder. "Don't berate yourself like that," he tells me, gently pressing his lips to my forehead. "Mantha's mind-violation technique does this to everyone who gets affected by it. It's not your fault."

Later on, when I sit to eat dinner with Mom, Dad, and Hecadoth, I'm unable to eat. My mind is still stuck on what happened in the library, when I killed Mantha. Just thinking about it makes my stomach turn and my heart grow heavy. As they all talk amongst each other, I remain silent, lost in my own thoughts. Briefly, I wonder whether either Mom, Dad, or Hecadoth have experienced the same thing that I'm going through right now.

"Is something wrong, Yumi?" Mom asks, bringing me out of my thoughts. "You've hardly touched your dinner."

"S-Sorry…" I apologize. "I'm just a little preoccupied with something."

"What's up?" Dad asks.

I sigh, deciding to ask the question I've been thinking about. "What does it feel like to kill for the first time?" I ask.

Mom and Dad look very surprised at this question. Even Hecadoth looks a little bemused.

"Where's this coming from?" Mom asks.

I shrug. "Just curious," I lie, turning my gaze to Hecadoth. "I want to know what it was like for you, Hecadoth. Because you're a soldier, and you've been in combat before, so you'll probably have an idea."

Hecadoth nods slowly. "You're right," he starts. "The first time I killed someone was in combat a few years ago, when we were defending the Great Demon Lord's castle from an enemy army. I'll admit, it shocked me when I realized that I had killed someone for the first time. I had speared them after being kicked down and he was about to deliver the death knell."

"What were you like afterwards?" I ask.

He sighs. "I felt somewhat bad for it," he admits. "The man I killed probably had a family, had a life of his own, and they would probably be calling for my blood if they found out that I killed him. And to be honest, I had a slight fear of being haunted by him. I told Laymia about this, and she helped me move forward. Basically, she told me that it's either they die or I die, and that it's my duty as a soldier. And sometimes, it's better to take the life of an enemy, rather than letting him live and allowing innocent people to die."

"What about you, Dad?" I turn to Dad.

Dad purses his lips, looking somewhat reluctant. "The first time I killed was when we still lived in Vancouver," he tells me. "You were very young, and at the time, we were trying to resolve a hostage situation, in which the criminal was going to shoot the hostage in front of us. However, he instead opened fire on us and out of shock, I pulled the trigger on my gun and shot him in the head." He rubs his forehead. "I was stunned speechless and I felt somewhat guilty for shooting. However, my boss gave me a heart-to-heart talk afterwards, saying that I did the right thing even if it was instinctive. Again, sometimes I have to use force if it gets messy, otherwise more innocent lives will be taken."

I nod slowly. "That so, huh…"

Dad gently takes my hand. "Something is bothering you, Yumi," he says. "What happened? Please tell us."

I glance at Hecadoth and he gives me a nod, as if telling me that it's for the best. Looking down, I sigh. "Today, when we went to the library in Ishiyama to discuss something…" I start.

"Go on," Mom encourages.

"We were attacked by a demon called Mantha," I explain. "He mind-raped Hilda and me, making me hallucinate that I was having smallpox, and it really almost drove me crazy. But that's not what's been bothering me." I look up. "When he was about to attack me, I accidentally stabbed him in the heart."

Both Mom and Dad are quite shocked to hear this.

"I know, I was shocked too," I tell them. "I didn't want to kill him, but he was about to kill me and my hand that held my knife just moved on its own! I know it's probably not a valid excuse to kill him, but I just… it was instinct and… wow, I can't believe what I'm doing…" I start rambling out of frustration. "I can't believe I'm trying to justify killing someone, how-"

"Yumi." I stop rambling and look at Mom.

"Listen to me," she starts. "We're not going to hate you, if that's what you're wondering. You did what you had to do to save yourself and everyone else. It's like what Hecadoth and your father said. It's either he dies, or all of you die."

"You're not a monster, Yumi," Dad tells me. "You're able to show remorse for what you did, which is enough proof that you're not a psychopath. Besides, if you're going to be a police officer, you'll have to make these kinds of decisions."

"They're right," Hecadoth says. "What you did saved everyone, even if it wasn't what you intended to do. Don't berate yourself for this, okay? It's not your fault."

I nod. "Okay…"

Feeling somewhat better, I eat my dinner before going upstairs to get ready for bed. After my bath, I change into my pajamas before doing some homework. Even though I feel a little less horrible about what happened, my mind is still haunted by what happened with Mantha, and how I was mind-raped by him. My skin still tingles every time I think about what happened.

When I try to fall asleep at night, my dreams are haunted by the horrific illusion I was forced to experience, and I wake up in shock, jolting out of bed. My heart is pounding hard against my chest, and I feel sweat all over my body. I look around my room and rub my arms to reassure myself that it's just a nightmare before sighing in frustration.

"Fuck you, Mantha…" I whisper in anger, feeling tears in my eyes. A soft sob escapes from me as a tear falls down my cheek. This is probably the fifteenth nightmare I've had tonight, in which I have smallpox again. I seriously hate him for this.

"Yumi?" I turn to my right and see Hecadoth, now awake, getting out of his futon. "What's wrong?"

"These fucking nightmares…" I tell him, my voice low yet frustrated.

He sits next to me and that's when I notice that he's shirtless, wearing only his sleep pants. "Wanna talk about it?" he asks me.

I bring my knees up to my chest and wrap my arms around them, resting my chin on top of my knees. "I had smallpox in them," I say. "This is like, the fifteenth nightmare tonight, and I'm sick of it. It's all because of Mantha that this is happening." I lower my eyes. "My skin is still tingling from that hallucination I had."

I feel Hecadoth wrap his arms around me and pull me close to him, my head pressed against his chest. He doesn't say anything, he just sits next to me and holds me close to him, which is what I need, honestly. I hear the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, which slowly calms me down. I also feel my face heating up as I feel his hand slowly rubbing my back.

Right then, I lift my head up to look at Hecadoth, and I'm surprised to see that he's rather close to me. Already, our lips are rather close. I notice that he's staring at my lips, and I can't help but close the distance between us, connecting our lips together in a gentle kiss.

Hecadoth kisses me back, gently holding my face in his hands as I wrap my arms around his neck. He kisses me slowly and gently at first, but then I feel his tongue licking my lower lip, asking me permission for more. I open my mouth a bit more, deepening the kiss as he now wraps his arms around my body. As we kiss passionately, our hands become more intimate and start exploring each other's bodies.

I let out a quiet moan as I feel myself slowly growing aroused. I can't help but want him so badly and I know that I'm ready for this. Slowly pulling away, I look at Hecadoth in the eye.

"Touch me," I tell him gently.

Hecadoth looks at me in surprise. "Are you sure about this?" he asks me. "I don't want to hurt you."

I nod. "I trust you, Hecadoth." I smile at him. "Please, don't stop."

He smiles back at me. "Let's try and keep it down."

He then kisses me once more before gently pushing me down onto the bed. As I kiss him back, I feel his hands sliding underneath my shirt, and I pull away to allow him to remove it. It doesn't take too long before all our clothes are removed and on the floor.

"Yumi… So beautiful…" he whispers.

"Hecadoth…" I pull him down for a kiss, which he eagerly returns. After kissing passionately for a few minutes, he pulls away and moves his lips down my body, and I close my eyes, moaning softly.

Right now, my mind is far away from the events of yesterday, and far away from those nightmares. I focus on this moment, allowing myself to be lost in the feeling of Hecadoth's touches and kisses, and I allow myself to be swept away by his seductive whispers. Soon, our bodies move together in an intimate dance, and he holds my hand tightly, never letting go. And I hold on just as tightly for the rest of the night.