Chapter 10

Remote area of Bakkah

"You're right about one thing Kylo. I would rather die than join the dark side with you."

"You just need to let it in Ana! The power you feel now is nothing compared to the power that the dark side can give you!" he pleaded.

"Why would you want to kill Snoke anyway?! He is your master; I thought that you worshipped him!" I questioned.

"He is holding me back Ana! With your force by my side we would be unstoppable!"

I paused, not knowing how to reply to his bold statement. It made me realize something which broke my heart. Kylo didn't go to all this effort for me because of our once close friendship, instead it was all about the power I had gained, which he wanted to take advantage of. He was blinded and consumed by the dark side, letting it dictate his every action. I cringed at his greed.

Kylo seemed to notice my reaction and removed his mask for the first time in a day. I saw the sincerity on his face, but knew that it was likely a ploy to make me empathize with him. I would not let Kylo become that same monster that Snoke already was, and I certainly wouldn't join his side as he did. I kept my face impassive to not show any weakness, something I learnt from Kylo himself.

"Ana, I care about you, not just the force you possess. But I'm not the same person now, so stop expecting me to be. I want you with me as we rule the galaxy together!"

I spat on his face with disgust before exclaiming, "Get a grip Kylo! I will never cause the same pain and suffering as Snoke has! You wouldn't ever be able to even force me into becoming a tyrant like him!"

Knowing that Kylo would likely be outraged by my response, I turned around and marched into the small house. A quick sigh of relief escaped me as I realized that he hadn't followed behind. Once I entered the home I found a wooden chair, located by the modest dining table, and sat myself on it. My head was in my hands as I silently sobbed over what had happened. There was no way out of this for me now; I was in too deep.

I wished that I could return to my old life, when I was oblivious to my force sensitivity. My power now was my only value to Kylo; if I didn't comply with his training then he would soon find a way to dispose of me. I didn't believe that he was actually capable of still caring for anyone after all the deeds he had committed. He just wanted me to trust him, something which I could never see myself being foolish enough to do.

I lost any sense of time as I was stuck sifting through the masses of thoughts which overcrowded my mind. It was only when I looked through the window that I noticed that the sun was already setting on Bakkah. It was challenging to adjust to the new day cycle on this planet, but I would probably have plenty of time to do that. I watched the vibrant colours of the sunset light up the sky. It was the most beautiful sight I had seen so far on this arid planet.

Through the glass planes I also noticed the figure of Kylo. He had changed his clothes now to some more suitable desert attire, which he had brought with him in the small spaceship. Like myself, he was staring straight at the sunset and admiring the view. As if sensing my prying eyes, he span his body to directly meet my eye contact. I held his gaze out of defiance, it was only when he began to pace towards the house that I felt myself panic inside.

I still dreaded what his retaliation would be after what I had done. The door swiftly opened, giving me a more detailed look at his new uniform. His black t-shirt and pants were perfectly fitted to his body, but made of a much lighter material that would keep him cool. They were a complete contrast to what he usually wore, other than the dark colour scheme which he religiously kept to.

As Kylo stood in the room, he continued to stare at me in deafening silence. His body was tense with anger, yet his eyes seemed much less threatening. For the first time in a while, I could tell that he was trying to control his rage. I decided to break the silence before he unloaded his outburst onto me.

"Kylo, I'm not apologizing for what I did. Honestly, you deserved it."

"Try anything like that again and next time I won't be so forgiving! Today I will just presume that your fatigue was the reason for your irrationality."

"Then you can presume wrong."

I wasn't sure whether it was for my best interest to rile him up like this. But his proposition had been so ludicrous that he deserved everything he got. I couldn't believe that he had the pride to call me the irrational one after all he had done.

Maybe it was my determination, or just Kylo's overall tiredness after the long trip, but he decided to drop the situation. It would benefit both of us to not constantly be at each other's throats all of the time. The purpose of this trip was for my training, which I was eager to advance with. The better I got, the easier it would be to find my way back to the resistance. Only now did I realize that my true home had always been there.

"I've started a fire outside. When the sun goes down, the temperature here plummets. There should be some food stocked up in the cupboards. Find something we can cook over the flame and bring it out to me," Kylo instructed.

I gave him a simple nod before he returned to the small campfire outside. It was then that it dawned on me that the house lacked any electricals whatsoever. It didn't shock me particularly; after all, we were in the middle of nowhere. I searched though the kitchen and noticed that Kylo was correct about it being full of food. I wondered who had brought it here for us.

It didn't take me long to find an unknown type of meat which we would probably be able to cook. I wasn't particularly picky, so I decided that I would bring it out for Kylo to see what he could do with it. Reluctantly, I headed outside towards the crackling fire. Kylo looked uncharacteristically calm despite our confrontation only moments ago.

He watched me carefully as I walked over to him, with the food still steadily held in my hands. Once I had reached Kylo, I soundlessly handed over the meat and took a seat on one of the many pale logs which were positioned around the flame. The way that the fire danced mesmerized my eyes. I focused my mind on it and smiled in delight as the flame suddenly started to burn brighter.

I looked up and saw that Kylo had been discretely glancing over at me. Almost instantly he snapped his eyes away and returned his concentration back onto the food. I didn't think much of the gesture, instead I was left with a growing sense of boredom building up within me. Today had been a long day, and for once I just wanted to forget about the constant war throughout the galaxy. The silence between us had become uncomfortable, so I decided to attempt some petty small talk.

"What kind of meat are you roasting?" I curiously asked.

"You honestly don't know Ana?"

I stared in confusion at him. Kylo seemed to find my question amusing, which could be seen from the small laugh he let out. Most of the food that was stocked in the cabinets I had never seen before in my life. Kylo overlooked that I had spent the last year on a basic diet which was essential for my survival. It surprised me that he hadn't commented on my scrawny frame.

"Sorry, but I haven't eaten meat in at least a year. It all looks the same to me now."

"It's bantha steak. Nothing special, but something that's easy to come by on desert planets. I'm surprised you didn't see any on the previous planet you were staying at," he answered.

I nodded in approval. In all honesty, I couldn't care for what our meal would consist of. As long as it cured my hunger, I would be satisfied. I was just relieved that we were still capable of having a civil conversation without screaming at each other. It was also pleasant to see a small smile on Kylo's face for once.

"Why were you on Jakku, Ana?"

His abrupt question caught me off guard. I had no idea how to answer it. I could try to lie, but Kylo was still stronger than me and could easily read my mind if he wanted to. Old memories resurfaced in my head of the days I ran away. For weeks I was hysterical, not knowing how I would survive on such a hostile planet. But I had to get away from everyone and grieve the loss of my friend.

"I left Chandrila when I came of age. I guess you could say that I fell apart after you left."

My words caused a guilty look to plague his face. He had never known what had happened to me after he had gone; for all he knew I was as good as dead. But what he didn't realize, is that his actions that day had caused a significant impact on me. He was now another person completely, I was only ever given glimpses of the Ben I loved.

In an attempt to change the subject, Kylo announced, "The steak looks ready to eat, come here and grab a piece." It hurt me that he couldn't talk about his life before the mask with me. I felt as if I was communicating with a stranger most of the time. Nevertheless, I did as he asked and strolled over, taking my meal from his firm hands. As soon as I had seated myself again, I didn't waste another second before tearing into the meat and devouring it completely. It was another bad habit I had gathered from Jakku.

Kylo was accurate about the weather. Once the moon had come out, I felt myself shiver from the spontaneous temperature drop. Noticing how cold I was, Kylo fetched his cloak and passed it to me to wrap around my freezing body. I felt very grateful for the gesture as the cloak encased me in warmth. Both of us hadn't slept the whole journey here, and it was beginning to take its toll.

"Tomorrow, we will resume your training. You will be taught the art of mind control," Kylo suddenly declared.

I was broken from my moment of peace and reminded of the work I still had to do whilst I was here. I was surprised that Kylo would teach me such a thing, after all it would only make him more vulnerable. He obviously trusted me a lot more than I trusted him. This was likely because I posed no real threat to him at the moment.

"Does that include the little stunt you performed on that officer today?" I sarcastically asked.

"Don't pretend that I had a choice Ana. But yes, that is exactly what you will learn."

It worried me that I would soon be capable of manipulating others in such a way. Would it turn me into a monster like him? I truly hoped not. For the first time in a while, I hid my worries and painted a convincing smile of consent on my face. If Kylo knew of my insecurities, he would believe that he had a chance of tempting me to the darkness.

But I would never let that happen.