Neighbors Chapter 9

I didn't get out of bed when daylight came. I hadn't moved all night, truthfully. I lay there in the same fetal position that I had all night. My mind refused to silence itself. I felt like I was stuck in some black hole of pain, depression, and a large mixture of other emotions and no one knew where I was or how to get me out.

How did that happen?

Why couldn't I stop it?

Why me?

Did I do something to deserve it?

Did I deserve it?

There was a knock at the door. I gasped, having been surprised. Another knock, and I slowly rose up. It was three in the afternoon, now. I was supposed to go to work, today. How did I not notice the time passing by like that?

I went to the front door after hearing a third set of knocks. Maybe it was one of my co workers wondering where I was? I could feign illness. Should I talk about it? No, I can't. I already messed up by destroying the evidence. What would be the point? They would only feel sorry for me, they'd just worry, giving me sympathy. I didn't want or need that. What could I even do? I could go to the police, but with no proof, what could be done? Not a damn thing. I already lost my chance to get back at him. But it'll be fine. I can't handle this on my own.

No I can't.

I answered the door. Two guys, one with light blond hair and one with dark brown hair were behind it, uneasy expressions on their faces.

"Bonnie, jeez, you look awful," Finn said.

"You sick or something," Jake added.

"Yeah," I mumbled. My voice was weak. But I was sure they'd just blame that on what ever illness they would assume I had.

Jake took a seat on my couch, but Finn wouldn't look away from me as they walked in.

"Have you been in bed all day," Finn asked me.

I nodded.

"Good thing we came to see you, then. Do you need to go to a doctor or something," Jake asked.

"I'm sure its just a common cold. I just need rest," I lied. Why was I lying like this? They were my best and closet friends. Why couldn't I just tell them. No, I shouldn't. They'd only worry. They'd probably try to find him, too. If they did, they would try to fight him, and might even get hurt, themselves. No. I won't tell them. They don't need to know about this. Its fine.

No it isn't.

"Here, you should eat," Finn suggested, holding out the pizza box he had brought in with him.

"Thanks, but I'm not hungry. You guys eat it," I said. "Kitchen is that way."

Finn and Jake shrugged and walked into the kitchen. I followed as Finn sat the box on the counter. The two didn't use plates. They stood by the counter, each devouring their own slice.

"Pepe told us about a special someone in your life," Jake mentioned, his mouth still full of partially chewed pizza.

"Her name is Marceline. She's cool, you guys should meet her some time," I mumbled. Trying to will myself into a better mood. It wasn't working.

"You could have told your best buds you liked girls, PB. We wouldn't have judged," Jake mockingly scolded.

I gave him a fake smile.

"I didn't know until recently," I said. "Wait, PB? What's that mean?"

"Oh, sorry. We've been doing nick names with everyone lately for fun. I thought Princess Bubblegum suited you because you're always so proper and girly and pink, like bubblegum," Jake explained. He ribbed Finn in the side as they chuckled.

Princess... Princess... He called me Princess, just like...

My mind played over the experience again in a flash. I remembered how everything felt. I remembered the smells, the sounds of his breaths and grunts as he...

My stomach flip flopped and burned. I ran to the garbage can, just barely making it in time. There wasn't anything to come up, though. I kept dry heaving and coughing. Stomach acid bubbled in my throat and burned as I tried to calm myself. Don't cry. Don't cry. Stop thinking.

"Holy smokes, Bonnie! Are you okay," some one said. I couldn't make out who.

I shot up right, being snapped out of my thoughts.

"I must be sicker than I thought," I droned. I have to keep it together. I can.

Stop lying to yourself.

"Come on," Finn demanded. He grabbed my arm. "You're gonna lay down and get your rest so you can get better." He led me into my room and coaxed me to sit on my bed.

He left, then came back with a bottle of water and some medicine he found in my bathroom. He sat them down at the table beside my bed.

"Lay down so you can rest,' he instructed, so I did. He pulled the blanket over to cover my body. "Need anything else?"

"No, but thanks," I mumbled, refusing to look him in the eye, now. I couldn't.

"I guess we'll uh, stick around, if that's okay? You shouldn't be alone when you're sick," Finn said.

I faked another smile as he left the room, leaving my door open.

"I don't think she's sick," I heard Jake whisper. He must have assumed I was out of ear shot.

He was right, though. I was an idiot for thinking I could lie to my friends.

"She's got a look on her face that's like, she feels bad, but not sick bad. More like depressed, bad, dude."

"Dude, this is Bonnie we're talking about. She wouldn't keep something from us," Finn whispered back.

"I guess so," Jake mumbled.

I turned over in my bed, facing away from the door. But I didn't close my eyes. I couldn't will myself to sleep. I was still so numb.

Finn and Jake had decided they would do me a favor and clean my apartment. But there wouldn't be much to clean. I was a firm believer of keeping my living space tidy. They said they could wipe surfaces and sweep floors. I heard shuffling as they did.

"Oh, I bet she has laundry," Jake said.

Finn checked in my room and I heard Jake in the bathroom. I pretended to be asleep as they gathered the dirty clothes.

"Bro, her uniform smells funny," Jake said. "She does work in a bakery, right?"

"Ugh," Finn gasped. "Is that, like, whisky?"

I heard Jake make an annoyed humming sound.

"Maybe someone bumped into her and spilled it on her," Finn guessed.

After a few more minutes I heard them walking through my apartment. I heard my front door open, then another voice.

"We're Bonnie's friends, Finn and Jake," one of the brothers said.

"Oh, I'm Marceline. Is Bonnie okay?"

"She's sick, so we're helping her out a little," Jake said.

"You're her girlfriend, right," Finn guessed.

"Yeah. I was going to say hi, but if she's sick I'll let her rest. Must be why her phone's turned off," I heard Marceline say.

I had forgotten to charge my phone. How irresponsible of me.

My door closed and then there was silence, again.

I eventually dozed off. My dreams, they weren't pleasant. Of course, I relived the experience and jolted myself awake only after it played all the way through. I sat up, gasping for air and sweating, but it wasn't hot. In fact, my air conditioning was fine. My heart banged in my chest and my eyes threatened to water up. I tried to stop it, but the tears fell, anyway. I covered my ears and rocked myself back and forth, telling myself I was safe. But I didn't feel safe or anything close to okay.

I eventually calmed myself down. When I did, I found a bottle of water, a sports drink, medicine for an upset stomach, and a sliced apple sitting by my bed. I drank the entire water bottle in seconds. I thought about eating the apple, but my stomach felt like it had a rock in it, so I decided not to.

I felt numb and weak again. My body was heavy and my thoughts were not pleasant. But I still got up to charge my phone. I knew it would worry people if I wasn't in contact. I glanced at the clock. Only a little passed seven in the evening. I didn't want to sleep, anymore, though. Not after that experience. I sat back down on my bed, trying not to think.

Why couldn't I stop thinking about it? Surely people have had much less pleasant experiences. Surely it could have been worse? Was I being stupid? Was I making this out to be a bigger deal than it needed to be?

I couldn't bring myself to get out of bed a second time. I couldn't bring myself to do anything but lay there. My thoughts were too overwhelming and I would cry again that night. I knew I couldn't keep this up. I was an adult with a job, friends, and a relationship to think about. I would have to force myself to function normally again, and I would. How hard could it be to pretend nothing had happened to me? I could do this.

No you can't.

I can't.

I have to.