A/n: Thank you for the interest in the story guys! Sorry for the delay in update. But hope you're still enjoying!

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Chapter Five
Those Who Keep Company With Wolves Learn To Howl

She'd go on missions. She'd do ok. She could hold up out there, where everything was fast-paced and life or death, there was no choice. It was be a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent, do your duty, help you team, or die. Simple as that.

But the base was anything but simple. Or maybe just too simple. Everything was slow and there was so much time for thoughts, for talking. For simple living. But not really, actually, simple. Not when she felt the need to hide every moment. She couldn't be in her hooded field outfit; she was exposed.

And the more Skye went about this "simple" living, the more she realized how messed up everyone around her was too.

Coulson's writings were getting worse. May had to take time out of their training to help him, as he refused help from anyone else.

FitzSimmons… well, they weren't FitzSimmons anymore, really.

Fitz was more or less the same as he'd always been at the Playground. Maybe he'd been improving. Skye honestly had a hard time talking with him - even before her incident- but now, she plain avoided him. And Simmons was just an unhappy, small piece of her old self.

Morse and Hunter… well, something was certainly going on there. A rekindling something. A loud rekindling something that was pretty impossible to miss. That was probably the only good change that had been going on.

Yes, everything that seemed to be going wrong was with their original little team, the ragtag group.

So how could she just ignore the one they kept in their basement?

He'd been awful, yes, but he'd been damaged too. They'd all changed. Ward's process had just begun early. He was just molded from the moment Garrett picked him up as a child. Skye knew that now. She'd known it for a while actually, but now she could understand it. Now she could recognize that he'd been manipulated and conditioned and just… broken.

But she saw passed that. There was good in him.

So, as everything in the base blared massive alarms of upset and disturbance from the people that resided in it, she would sneak away to the basement. Play pretend, because she knew he would too.

They could pretend that neither were weak and easily beaten. That neither had done something wrong. That Hydra didn't ruin them. And she could have release for a little while every day, with the man in the basement. No one had to know.

Until someone did know.

"Sir," was all Skye said, shocked from his presence.

"Skye, what the hell are you doing?" Coulson asked, voice dripping in disbelief as he began traipsing down the stairs.

She glanced back at Ward. He seemed nervous. Nervous he may be in trouble.

Or nervous their game of pretend was coming to an end.

"We're just talking," Skye defended lightly.

Coulson scoffed.

"You needed to go behind my back and reroute a looped feed just to talk?"

At first Skye didn't say anything, realizing that did sound a little ridiculous. But she thought about it.

And that was 100% the truth.

She nodded meekly.

"Skye, he manipulates. He deceives. And now it's rubbing off on you, obviously. Nothing that comes out of his mouth is the truth."

Skye got angry now. He was saying these lies with Ward right there.

"Everything that comes out of his mouth is the truth. He has not given me one wrong piece of information; he's been sincere. Unlike the rest of you!" she exclaimed.

Coulson blinked, not comprehending.

"What are you talking about?"

"Well first off, you're all trying to hide secrets that are plain on your sleeve. I know you're getting worse Coulson. And I know the only person you're confiding in is May, but to be honest I don't know why. I could be there for you!"

"We have it under control; no one needs to be burdened with that," Coulson attempted to reason calmly. "Especially not you."

Skye gestured eagerly in front of herself. He was proving her point for her.

"That's the other thing. You think I don't notice how you all walk on eggshells around me? Well guess what, I do!"

Calm demeanor gone, his voice held nothing but firm explanation.

"That is something you need to fix on your own. If you present yourself as someone who people need to be wary of Skye, that's exactly what they're going to do."

Skye's anger fell away; shoulders slumped.

"What?" she asked quietly.

"You've been different. You act different, like something's weighing you down. You don't speak the same, and frankly, you're just plain angry. I don't think I've heard you say a joking comment that didn't actually have malice towards a colleague in months."

Skye blinked, suddenly feeling incredibly self-conscious. He continued.

"But you won't accept therapy. You won't accept our help at all. Honestly, I think if I had told you about my… episodes getting worse, there's a pretty good chance you would've brushed that off your shoulder as well."

"I… I didn't realize," Skye stated, near horrified. How could she not notice such a change in her own actions? Maybe she was a little moody lately, sometimes she woke up with an extra edge from the nightmares, but she didn't notice she'd been taking it out on anyone.

She certainly didn't feel that way with Ward.

"No one blames you," Coulson explained. "But if anyone's walking on eggshells, it's because you're setting them up yourself."

Skye wasn't sure what to say.

How bad had she been? She figured she'd mainly been avoiding them. That was definitely true, she didn't really talk to any of the group unless the situation called for it. And no one had really tried to talk with her, but now she could see why...

Skye noticed she'd been pacing, then. But she didn't notice her other quirk until she saw Coulson staring at her. Until he pointed it out.

"Something wrong… with your neck?" Coulson mumbled.

Skye froze.

Her hand was already on her neck, and she realized from what seemed like sudden irritation there that she'd been rubbing it as she'd paced.

She kept her hand resolutely in place.

She was facing away from the door when her pacing had come to a stop, Coulson behind her. She looked to Ward. He smiled. A tiny thing, but he actually smiled. It was meant to be one of reassurance, she knew, and she supposed it was because he was getting what he wanted in Coulson finding out. But Coulson couldn't find out. How could he look at her again?

She felt the leader's presence before he actually touched her, his touch so gentle as his fingers grazed Skye's hand, softly pulling it down away from herself. She allowed him to.

It was in plain sight now.

She couldn't bear to look at him, or even Ward, trying to be her rock. She just gazed to her feet. That didn't stop her from hearing the hurt, the pain, in his voice when he finally spoke.

"They branded you?" Coulson asked in a whisper.

And Skye couldn't hold it in. The tears fell down, her lip quivered. He'd just said it, so plain, even if his face made Skye think he'd like to take back the wording. But there it was. In perfect english laid out neatly in front of her.

Hydra was proving how weak she was, again.

"I just assumed it was the same as the burn on your hand. I didn't even think…" His eyes widened. "The scarves… oh, Skye."

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" she pleaded for forgiveness, shrugging out of the friendly hand Coulson had placed on her shoulder. Backing up. Hugging herself.

"Hey, hey. Skye!" He tried to soothe her, tried to get closer. She kept ducking away. "What on earth are you sorry about? For not telling me?"

"For being Hydra!" she said, and even she knew that didn't make sense. At least not to anyone but herself. "For… for letting S.H.I.E.L.D. down," she mumbled in amending, but her next sentence surprised even herself. "I couldn't hold up! I tried to give them the information. I couldn't have it on me. I couldn't have this on me. I broke, and they still did it. I broke and it's there anyway."

She shook. The very thought of the thing on her neck, Coulson staring at it...

"Skye, it's ok," her leader said, near chasing her now with how badly he obviously wanted to pull her into a hug. He couldn't do that. He couldn't be anywhere near her, the disgusting thing on her skin. She wouldn't let him. "They didn't get the information, you did well."

"Because of him!" she growled and pointed, though it wasn't meant to be accusatory. It was meant to be firm. Meant to prove to Coulson who was strong, who was weak. She tried to appease Coulson's angry gaze. "He protected S.H.I.E.L.D. secrets when I couldn't. He did the right thing. I know I paid the price, but that's the right thing to do. That's what a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent is supposed to do."

Skye could so easily be sobbing then, but she held it in. She had to show him, and herself, she wasn't completely broken, completely beyond repair. She had some strength left.

Right?

"And I didn't tell you! I couldn't keep my mouth shut when I needed to, and then I couldn't open it to give him the credit he deserves," she berated herself. She looked to Ward, staring at her with something like intrigue. This was her chance to make it up to him. "Coulson, he did so well. He's… there's good in him. I can see it. We need to give him a chance. I know I've been selfish, coming down here just to talk to him and that was wrong but… honestly, we need to give him a chance!"

There was a silence. It was deafening, as Skye had been so loud moments earlier. But she'd said her piece. All she could do was wait for Coulson to say his. Or Ward, even.

"No, we do not need to give him a chance."

"What?" Skye was breathless with disbelief.

She was sure Coulson would do this for him. For her. Why wouldn't he do this for her?

"He is manipulating you, Skye!"

She shook her head. Disbelieving.

"No he's not! How could he be? He didn't know if we were going to make it out of there-"

"Exactly! So he set the footwork down in case you did. He used your vulnerability against you, so you would vouch for him."

"Coulson." Ward's voice. Firm.

He was finally defending himself.

"I would never intentionally try to get Skye hurt, just so-"

But the director wouldn't let him defend himself.

Coulson grabbed the tablet, and after a button was pressed a grid spread in front of Ward. His mouth moved but there was no sound.

"Hey!" Skye protested, grabbing at the air as Coulson moved away slightly, merely holding up a palm to signal her to stop.

That was frustrating. Coulson wouldn't even let the man get his view across.

Then he ignored her.

"Let's go, Skye," he told her softly, resigned. Like they had just finished a conversation with complete closure and were on the same page.

They weren't even in the same book.

"No," she told him firmly. "You're not giving Ward a chance."

Coulson rounded on her, frustration etched clear with the lines in his face.

"Do you need to be reminded of all he's done? Do you need a list of crimes? What he did to FitzSimmons, to all of us-"

"I'm well aware of what he did. No need for the play by play."

"Then why would you think he's doing anything else but playing you? You know his only goal is to get out of that cell. He using your damaged state to exploit you!"

Skye was taken aback by that. This was exactly why she couldn't let anyone see.

He thought less of her.

"You think I'm damaged?" she asked accusingly, incredulously, even though she'd expected it. But she hadn't expected him to admit it. "You find out about my scar and all of sudden I'm just some broken goods?"

"No, I find out you're hiding a scar, meeting with a Hydra soldier behind everyone's back, and were planning to free him."

"I wasn't planning to free him, just suggesting…" she mumbled.

"It shouldn't even be a conversation," Coulson told her. "But he's gotten into your head. He is taking advantage of you Skye."

He sighed, perhaps frustrated he couldn't get through to her. But there was nothing to get through. Skye knew what Ward had been. She knew what he was now, and she knew she was right.

"You are going to stay away from this vault," he told her firmly. "You're going to stay away from Ward."

"You can't order me around in here!" Skye exclaimed. "He's not just some piece of information you can hide away from the lower level agents with less clearance."

"There aren't any more levels, I-"

"You got rid of them, I know. But there are levels, aren't there? You just got rid of most of them. You put yourself on the top where you could order all the little people around. Wanted to be director so you can have all those puppets at your disposal, huh?"

Skye was breathing hard from her mini rant. Coulson just stared.

"You done?"

"Yes," she said begrudgingly, sparing a glance at Ward. He looked sort of… lost. But of course, he had no idea what was happening in the conversation.

Coulson sighed, having the gall to try and place a hand on her shoulder. She shrugged away.

"I'm sorry you feel this way Skye. I hope you realize… I'm doing what's best for you."

"I realize you're trying to. But you're wrong."

He exhaled again, and Skye knew their conversation would just be going in circles if they continued. She looked back at Ward. He watched with just as much interest, just as much stock in the conversation, though he couldn't hear a word they were saying.

She stormed passed Coulson and started up the stairs. He trailed behind. As she found herself glancing for a last fleeting look at Ward, her scarf, left idly on the ground, caught her eyes. She turned around.

"Skye," Coulson warned. Her head snapped up.

"I'm just getting my…" The words died in her throat.

Ward was shaking his head. He couldn't speak, at least to the point that it would reach her ears, but she knew exactly what he was trying to say.

Let them know.

Could she do that for him? She couldn't get him out of that cell. But she supposed… if this was what he wanted. She owed him. She needed to at least try.

So Skye didn't pick up the fabric. She left it there, lonely and tangled on the ground.

It never saw her neck again.

Two weeks.

She'd listened to Coulson for two weeks.

She didn't attempt to see Ward. It would be a stupid excursion anyway, with the team all aware and watching for her to go down there. And now that they all knew about her brand, she couldn't afford for them to think she'd break down and do something that would clearly end in failure. She couldn't afford for them to think she was so weak.

But as much as she wouldn't break down and try to see Ward, she wouldn't break down on Coulson's other "request."

"I'm requiring you to see Dr. Laredo."

"The therapist? No way."

"It's not a suggestion, Skye."

"You can keep me from seeing a S.H.I.E.L.D. prisoner, sure. But you cannot make me go talk about my feelings."

"If I deem you unstable, I can."

She paused.

"If I go, will you let me see Ward?"

He paused.

"No."

"Then I won't."

"I told you, it's not a request."

"Well, what happens if I don't go?"

"Then… you'll be grounded from the field."

"Done."

And she hadn't gone into the field since that conversation, though still helping from the computer. Still helping like she had just after she'd been hurt. Like she'd be helping Hydra if they'd kept their hands on her. But she knew, and often told herself, at least this was her choice. Even if the choice she had to make was caused by limited options.

Two weeks.

She needed out that base.

"I need a beer," she announced, one particularly quiet night when many of the team were lounging in the common area.

They all looked shocked. Maybe because it was a random proclamation, or maybe because she'd spoken at all.

"Well, plenty of that in the fridge, love," Hunter told her, gaining a small glance from Bobbi at the term of affection he'd used.

"Only if you like Old Peculiar," added Trip.

"What?" Skye asked.

"Some English crap. It's his."

"Oh, that's rich," said Lance. "Make fun of the British alcohol. You do realize that Bud Light is basically the equivalent of water in England? Or, anywhere in Europe actually…"

"Guys," Skye interrupted. "I want to go out. Like, out out. To a bar. Anyone game?"

Morse smiled sweetly. "That's sounds great, Skye. I could use an unwind. What do you boys say?"

In the end they agreed, and though Skye had to go searching for her, Simmons joined them as well. Fitz and Mack were busy working on something, though. Something Simmons seemed to shift uneasily about when it was brought up. Maybe she wasn't entirely comfortable with their partnership.

Skye didn't get too dressed up, though it was the first time she was leaving the base in two weeks, and much longer to be leaving on something other than S.H.I.E.L.D. business. Still, she picked a simple blouse.

No scarf. No bandage. The world was going to see.

The team had already seen and assured her they didn't think less of her. Skye tried to believe them, as she was honestly trying to cope. She was trying to deal with it sitting on her, the thing feeling near as hot as the moment it was seared into her skin from the anxiety of people looking at it.

For Ward.

She knew she had to see him soon. She wouldn't accept anything less. She'd play obedient soldier for a while, but she had to see him.

Until then, she had to try and take care of herself for him.

They made it to the street which held some nice watering holes. Hunter was the one to choose the bar.

"It's a pub!" he exclaimed.

"Sorry! Didn't realize there was a difference," Skye told him, hands raised.

Hunter just gave her dead eyed look of disbelief at her ignorance, walking passed her and inside the pub. She smiled to herself as Simmons came up beside her.

"Honestly Skye, of course there's a difference," Simmons told her as she walked inside the… drinking place.

Skye still didn't see the difference.

But pub, bar, it didn't matter to Skye. It was fun. like Bobbi had said, it was nice just to unwind. Stress-free.

Alcohol helped.

Skye was swaying to the music on the floor she deemed to be a dance floor. The place definitely wasn't a club, but she wanted to dance. And she'd convinced Simmons and Triplett to as well, so in the middle of the not too crowded pub, that's exactly what they did.

As Skye let herself move to the music, - incredibly badly and wildly, and though Trip matched her style, Simmons surprisingly had some skills - she began to look at her surroundings. It reminded her of places she'd liked to go when she was younger. There was an appeal of simplicity.

As her eyes roamed, she noticed something. A couple, man and woman, in the corner. The woman was staring at her.

Skye stared right back, appraising her.

She tried to forget about it. Tried not to let the blonde thirty something year old woman get on her nerves, but it began to run through her mind more and more. And more and more, Skye began to think the woman was watching her neck, a horrible scowl on her face.

Then Skye realized something.

What if this person was Hydra?

How could she have been so stupid! Any Hydra agent could recognize the logo. Any government official. Any civilian that kept an eye on the news knew exactly what it meant.

Whether they thought she was a victim, a part of the organization, or just a psychotic fan, it put her out in the open. A target. At least a topic of interest.

What does that girl have to do with Hydra?

"Guys," Skye whispered. "Check out the couple at your four o'clock."

Simmons and Triplett looked.

"Is something wrong with them?" asked Simmons.

"They're staring at… us."

Jemma gave her a pitying smile. Bit her lip. "Do you think you could just be being a tad paranoid?"

The woman nudged the man, pointed blatantly at Skye.

"Oh," Simmons sighed.

"Not so paranoid, huh?" asked Skye, alcohol making her bold. And rude.

"That is strange," admonished Trip, and with the acknowledgement from her friends that she wasn't making it up, Skye found herself walking over to the table. It was probably stupid. After all, could definitely be bad news if they were Hydra. She didn't even have a gun.

Again, alcohol.

"There something you want to say to me?" Skye asked, arms crossed. The couple raised their brows in shock that Skye had brought it up, but their faces screamed guilty. Kids caught gossiping.

"No," said the lady, voice shrill. "But this isn't really a place meant for dancing."

"There a rule against it?" Skye asked.

"Not that I know of…"

"Then mind your own damn business," Skye told her, turning around just as Triplett and Simmons were coming to her side.

She would have walked away then. She would have, and that would have been the end of it. But then Skye heard the woman muttering under her breath to her companion:

"Anyone who would allow that on them is definitely just a low-class person…"

"I'm sorry," Skye said harshly through a scoff of a laugh, turning to the woman again. "What was that?"

The woman shifted uncomfortably, and Skye knew this wasn't a Hydra agent. Mannerisms were all wrong. Too jumpy. She was folding beneath Skye's gaze.

"If you're really being that nosey, I was saying that someone who uses that method of tattooing must obviously have a very low regard towards themselves."

"Tattoo?" Skye mumbled in confusion, but the woman continued, apparently on a roll as her voice became harsher.

"Is it really that important to have the picture on you as to burn yourself? I understand ink tattoos, but brands? It's disgusting. And that's obviously an evil symbol. I don't know why anyone would want to mar their body in such a way, and to be honest, I'd rather not have low-life trash in such an otherwise pleasant bar."

"Whoa there!" said Hunter, seeming to swoop in out of nowhere as he unhooked Bobbi from his arm. "No need to be so rude, missy."

"She's the one parading around something so distasteful. So if someone's being rude, it's this girl for subjecting anyone to look at that thing by going out in public."

Skye was frozen. Her mouth gaped. She wanted to retort but she was too angry, too upset, too frustrated. This woman didn't even know the symbol was Hydra, but she still thought Skye was disgusting. She thought she did it to herself. Put this on herself.

Her mouth moved, somehow finding the lost words.

"I didn't do this to myself, you judgmental bitch," she spat. Skye saw Jemma wince at the cussing from her peripherals.

"Abusive relationship, then?" asked the woman, eying Skye up and down. Skye noticed her eyes linger on the scar on her hand as well as her neck. "I've heard of that happening. Either way, you must have tons of low self-esteem if you couldn't find the sense to leave before he did that to you."

Skye felt her eyes grow large.

"Oh my god, you horrid woman!" Simmons exclaimed.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Bobbi and Hunter asked, near synchronized.

It was then that Skye realized Triplett had been holding her back. She'd been attempting to pounce on this lady.

The woman appraised her, sighing. "Physical violence? Really? How predictable." She took a sip of her drink, and patted the man beside her - who'd been inexplicably quiet through the whole ordeal - on the shoulder. "You ready, babe?"

The man nodded, grabbing his expensive looking suit jacket. Seriously, who wore that to a bar? Pub.

Simmons stepped forward, smiling sweetly.

"Oh, but you've been such a pleasant one for conversation, I wanted so bad to get you a drink before you left."

The scientist then proceeded to pour the remainder of her Long Island Iced tea on the woman's head, and Skye couldn't keep the smirk off her face if she tried.

The woman's hands trembled, as she whined in upset like a little girl throwing a tantrum.

"Hoodlums!" she spat, being guided out of the bar by her exasperated companion. Skye gave the man a look of raised eyebrows that said, is crazy really worth it, dude?

The feel-good moment of Simmons' triumph left as fast as it had come, and Skye found her mood to be incredibly doused. She walked away from the S.H.I.E.L.D. agents. It didn't help that they'd all been staring at her expectantly, like a meltdown was imminent.

Skye made her way outside immediately, aware of at least one person shadowing her as she went.

When she was met with the crisp night air, it wasn't the symbol on her neck coaxing her to wish she had a scarf, for once.

"Skye!" Simmons called after her. "That woman was an utter imbecile. I hope you didn't take what she meant to heart."

How could she not take it to heart? She'd gone out once since her stint with torture, and that was the reaction she'd gotten. What if someone actually had recognized it as Hydra? What if the thing outed her as a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent? What if they recognized her, saw her as theirs...

What if they tried to take her back?

That thought made Skye's stomach flip.

Even so, she needed Simmons to think nothing was wrong, she needed to keep it together. Because Skye realized something. The mark didn't just need to be covered up or masked to the point where it wasn't seen. She needed this thing off of her. Needed its constant presence gone.

And most importantly, she needed Ward.

But the only way to get back into that vault was to convince this team her judgement was as good as ever.

Still, she didn't respond fast enough so Simmons continued.

"That woman was of the wrong from the start. People have every right to do what they want with their bodies. I mean, that's not a particularly enchanting prospect, branding on purpose… but still, she was completely out of her place to say so."

"I know," Skye finally conceded. "And I feel fine about it. I should probably keep it more covered when I got out, though."

Simmons nodded. "Yeah, that may be for the best."

Skye had honestly expected to be met with resistance to her comment, and felt a small pang of frustration at how willingly Simmons wanted her to cover up for the rest of her life.

But no, this was good. Someone was agreeing with her. The thing couldn't be seen.

Skye needed it gone. For good.

Simmons was pacified though. The team was pacified, and by the time they made it back to the base, no one thought to check on her. Didn't notice how she snuck off on her own.

Didn't notice the butterfly knife she took from the weapons cabinet.

She crept to the bathroom.

As she raised the knife to lay gently on her neck in front of the mirror, Skye was immediately horrified with the image. It was a terrible image, as she held the weapon to such a delicate area on her own body. It really did look like she was doing the unthinkable, even to herself.

She was shaking. The knife trembled in her hand as she planned to get rid of the wretched thing, even if would leave an even larger mark on her neck. It would be gone. And nothing, not even an ugly dark red or purple scar, could be worse than that insignia.

But she wasn't steady. She wasn't stable. Even in her state, she knew this was a bad idea to do herself.

And she realized, she needed to try now. It was time to go see him.

She'd been good, damn near perfect for two weeks. They barely watched her anymore. Heck, they didn't even notice her take the knife up to the bathroom.

So she went down to vault D, though she didn't bother with the cameras. She just had to see him, had to ask for his help. Skye needed Grant Ward.

But Grant Ward wasn't the one in that vault.

"You?" Skye gasped.

Payne spun around on the cot, not seeming to realize he had a visitor until she'd spoken. His lip curled up into a smile, his voice as breathy and unpleasant as the day he'd helped Hydra ruin her life. His delighted chuckle betraying any notion that he appeared to be a prisoner.

"Skye! How exciting it is to see you again, hmhm."

A/n: So that lady at the bar is based on a person I met a while ago. I'm reeeeally happy I only ever saw her once.

Next chapter will have more Ward! I promise.

Please review if you enjoy! Thanks so much for the follows and reading and reviews and all that jazz :D

Ps: Sorry about any errors. Reviewed this on very little sleep...