Enjoy! And reviews would be appreciated if you do! Alternating between stories now so watch this space, and the space of my other fic.
The Pureblood Prince
Chapter 43
Mind Monsters
Not only was he a lifelong slave to the Dark Lord, but Severus would now find himself forever indebted to the Malfoys. Lucius had spent the past few weeks with him, not teaching him in the Dark Arts (as if anyone thought he needed that), but rather slipping him inside information about their Master's innermost circle. Malfoy Manor had become somewhat of a home to him now. And its difference to Spinners End did not even bare comparison. He knew that soon, however, his presence there would not be as tolerated as it was now. He'd have to find somewhere to call his own soon enough.
And as much as he was physically comfortable here, many things made him feel uneasy. His isolation from his mother and receiving no news on her wellbeing or whereabouts concerned him; especially as he was promised that she would now be kept safe. He often wondered if the Dark Lord truly remained true to his promises… there was nothing he could do about it now, regardless. The second uncomfortable aspect was Narcissa and Lucius themselves. Severus had never been exposed to two people who so loved one another, genuinely and without limitations; he didn't know quite how to respond to it… all forms of love on his part had always been tainted with something else.
Often, when Lucius and Severus had come home from either a very small mission or to witness another initiation ceremony (the latter of which would give Severus perpetual nightmares for the rest of his days), Narcissa would be there to meet them. She would smile a polite smile to Severus and then turn all of her attention to her husband. The way that she smiled at him made Severus grieve all the more for the redhead who had stolen his dignity.
That night, however, it appeared that Narcissa seemed quite on edge throughout dinner. She was continually shifting in her seat and sneaking quick, anxious glances at Lucius over her crystal bowl of treacle tart.
"Tell Dobby that tomorrow I expect dinner on the table at precisely seven o' clock," Lucius muttered under his breath, tossing his navy blue napkin into his now empty bowl. "It does not take half the day to whip up quiche and a tart, Narcissa."
"I'll tell him," Narcissa reassured, her chin leaning upon her closed hands. Lucius slid himself out from under the table and swept over to her as Severus's eyes tracked him across the room. He gave her a quick kiss upon her platinum blonde hair and said: "I'm going to wash up and turn in. See you tomorrow morning, Severus." The two Death Eaters nodded their goodnights and he left the room, clicking the large mahogany door shut behind him.
Narcissa continued to gaze the fireplace for a few moments; the sparks illuminated her pale grey eyes. Severus took one tiny polite spoonful of the sickly sweet dessert and pushed it aside; a sweet-tooth he was not. She, in turn, dropped her spoon into the bowl and patted the corner of her lips with the napkin.
A few awkward silent moments passed before the distant closing of a door upstairs was heard. It was then that Narcissa spoke once more.
"How are you settling in then?" she asked genuinely, taking her gaze away from the fireplace.
Severus paused before answering.
"It's… you both have been very accommodating to me over the past few weeks. I don't quite know how I can repay you..."
"Please, it's nothing," Narcissa answered, waving his gratitude away into the colossal dining hall. "Joining the ranks of the Dark Lord… I can't imagine anything more emotionally arduous."
"You've never considered…?"
"No," Narcissa replied without a beat. "One Death Eater in this house is enough… and of course one day we wish to have children. Bellatrix and Rudolphus may be content with no lineage to speak of – but we are not."
Severus nodded in agreement. Well, it made perfect sense. If Bellatrix Lestrange and her husband were gone, there'd be no descendants to continue their work; though the idea that all Death Eater children were there to serve as a mere next-in-line to the Dark Lord unnerved him. As luck (or lack thereof) would have it, there was an excellent chance that he would not ever be faced with that dilemma.
Narcissa downed the rest of her wine and sat toying with the glass in her hands for a while.
"Severus…" she finally piped up once again. "I know Lucius has taken it upon himself to take you under his wing during this… transition period if you will. But I've been going over something in my head the past few days; information I have accidentally been exposed to and information I probably should pretend I never heard…"
She met his confused frown with an even deeper one. "Lucius and I have the deepest trust for one another… a trust no-one can match. It's probably why I find myself in the position I do right now. He does not close doors in this house; he expects that I will keep my distance when he has business to attend to and for no questions to be asked of him. I hear tidbits of information here and there, of course, but I've learned over the years to not dwell on it, for it would probably drive me quite mad… knowing what dangers Lucius is putting himself through for the greater cause…"
Severus continued to listen, extremely unsure of just where she was going with this, but he was a very good listener and he was determined to show it.
"Anyway, yesterday…" she continued "… yesterday I overheard something I haven't been quite able to shake. I heard Lucius and his old friend, McNair, discussing You Know Who's plans for your reward."
"My reward?" Severus finally piped up.
"They were talking about how you made a deal with him… your servitude in exchange for your father."
"My father? Do you mean Tobias?" Severus was so shocked to hear any reference to his father that it had taken him a moment to register who Narcissa was talking about.
"Is Tobias your father?"
"In the most biological sense – unfortunately, he is."
"Then that is who they were referring to." Narcissa confirmed.
She must've overheard them talking about a completely different person, Severus thought, Tobias was nothing to him, not even an "exchange" to be made –though he wasn't even sure what that even meant.
"I made no exchange for him. I have never spoken of him. Frankly, I am somewhat confused." He admitted to her.
"I am positive they were planning something…" Narcissa informed, genuinely. "I wouldn't even mention it to you, and you must promise to keep this under wraps because it sounded like you were not supposed to know of this…."
"Know of what?" Severus demanded more forcefully. He was starting to get a rather uncomfortable feeling in the pit of his stomach.
"Of their plan to… well…" Narcissa began to trail off again, it was starting to irk him somewhat, he wished she would just come out with it.
"Plan to what?" he prompted heatedly.
"To… remove him, I guess you could say."
And the bludger had finally dropped.
"You mean he's going to be killed." He said in more of a statement of fact than a question.
"Forgive me Severus," Narcissa spoke softly. "From the way they were talking, I was under the impression that this was what you had wanted…"
Wanted? In a way he did. In fact, he could not recall a single moment in his life where he had not wanted Tobias to go away, to disappear somewhere. To be just a monster in his mind as opposed to a monster in the next room. Truth be told he would not spare a single sad thought over him if he were to die somehow… but all that said and done, Severus had to admit that no matter how much he despised the man with every fibre, every thought of his being, he did not wish death upon him. This was much more to do with how it would destroy his mother than Tobias himself.
"No…" Severus said. He probably shouldn't have been admitting all of this to her… he blamed it on the new founded novelty of feeling an authentic warmth for someone who appeared to quite care about him. But she was a Death Eaters wife. He would have to be more guarded. "I mean, I never really had any specific plans to wipe him from this earth…"
Narcissa was looking at him from across the table with a much different air to everyone else. It looked something remarkably like empathy… or more likely sympathy.
"It must have been difficult to live with a Muggle for as long as you did…" for a moment it appeared that she had missed the point completely, but then she decided to add: "but if you couldn't care if your own father lived or died, Muggle or not, I'm assuming it must have been rather traumatic…"
"You could say that."
Narcissa paused in contemplation, looking down upon her lap as she did. "Does your mother suffer?"
Severus's tongue lodged itself to the roof of his mouth as his jaw grated around them.
"Hopefully not for much longer."
Their eyes met across the table again, he could tell by the way she looked at him what she was thinking… Legilimency not required.
"That doesn't mean that I wanted them to kill Tobias!" he rationalized vehemently. "I was simply promised that my mother would be kept safe…"
"But I assume she would be if he were not a present force in her life. Or, at least, I assume that is You Know Who's thinking. Not that I claim to understand every facet of him, of course…"
"She is a known blood traitor. What do you think that means when we are on the brink of a war?" Severus asked. "It is not just the Muggle world that has been unkind to her."
Narcissa nodded an understanding. "Perhaps then, they are to create somewhat of a safe haven for her at your old homestead." She slid herself out from her side of the table and instead of excusing herself for the night, she walked over to him, pulled out the high-backed dining chair next to him and sat herself there instead. She took hold of his hands. It was almost unbearably intimate to him… more so than anything romantic… if she had kissed him he would have least known how to react. Sort of.
"We have known each other for a very short time, but I want you to know that you can always call me a friend," she admitted kindly. "I didn't want them to do anything to your family that you weren't aware of… I know it would tear me apart… please don't think that this is a betrayal on Lucius's part – it's just as a Death Eater -"
"No," Severus replied, their hands still interlaced. "He has to follow his orders."
"Like I said…" Narcissa continued, "they're on business duties tomorrow evening… you can do with that free time as you see fit."
Severus looked up at her suddenly, a horrible feeling pricked at his skin, making it crawl with unease. "She'll get in the way…" he murmured quietly to himself through glazed eyes.
A slender hand squeezed his tight. It made his freshly branded Dark Mark thump with pain.
"Then I think you know what to do with that time," she responded just as softly. "She can stay here for as long as she needs; she can finally have her protection as the Dark Lord promised and no punishments can be given for that."
Severus bit down on his lip as he contemplated this. "My mother can't just turn up at your doorstep – Lucius will know you've told me-"
"There are a myriad of ways to get around that, don't you worry" Narcissa assured. "Go into hiding for a week, a few days even… Lucius would never report it."
"You don't know that…"
"I know that," she nodded with a knowing smile. "You Know Who might have his subordination, but I have everything else. Possibly even more of his subordination than the Dark Lord does – "
Severus gave a light sniff of amusement through his nose to which she responded with a much toothier smile.
"I am forever indebted to you, Narcissa." Severus said with as much affection as one Severus Snape could physically muster. Wasn't a lot for the more emotionally stable person, but it was a colossal amount for him. He was so very indebted – it was true. She could have left Lucius and McNair's conversation at the door and said nothing more about it… but the fact that she had actually struggled with it in her mind, the fact that she had actually considered his feelings in the matter, perhaps in her he had finally found a true friendship.
"You are not," Narcissa waved it away, breaking the physical contact between them. "What are friends for if not to look out for one another? I would just hope that you would do the same for me, that's all."
"Anything."
She laughed.
"Probably not a good idea to divulge that, I could hold it against you one of these days."
"Mistress?" came a tiny, pathetic little voice from behind the door. "Master Lucius is asking if you intend to retire any time soon? He wishes to sleep without disturbance, Mistress –"
"I'm coming, Dobby! Get lost!" she barked at the door, completely breaking her softly spoken demeanor. "Sorry Severus, I have a husband who is very particular about his sleeping habits… and who is also a very light sleeper."
She stood up, brushed her almost-white blonde hair out of her face and turned away, and then looked back, then back to the door, before deciding to look back again - where she took a step toward her still seated friend and flicked her hands upward, motioning for him to stand. When he did so she wrapped her arms tightly around his neck. Severus managed just barely to keep himself from jumping at this sudden display… but it didn't lessen the startling shock he felt one iota. Musing on the thought that it would have quite embarrassing for her if he had just stood there with his arms hanging limp at his sides - he raised them and reciprocated the embrace… albeit drowning in self-consciousness at the same time. Her floral perfume was ten times as potent with his chin resting on her shoulders.
"In case Dobby is still at the door," she whispered in his ear, "they plan to make their move at midnight tomorrow. Get there bright and early."
She kissed him fervently on his cheek before letting go of their embrace.
"I may return in a week… but if I find more permanent lodgings, I will write you." Severus promised.
"You damn well better… and if you do then I expect regular visitations." Narcissa said, tugging on the edge of his cloak before she turned around and left his sight.
He did not properly get a chance to think things through until well after all of the lights were out in the manor, and he was laying in his bed gazing up at the canopy of the four poster bed above him. No matter how fond he was of the Malfoys, and Narcissa in particular, he knew that he could never truly let his guard down unless he was alone. Occlumency was a skill that he would have to utilise very frequently from now on.
So the people he now associated himself with were going to break into his childhood home tomorrow and murder his father… Narcissa said they were doing it as a reward for his servitude, but he knew better. He knew that it was merely because Tobias was an easy target. And a Muggle, after all. One less Muggle in the world was a much bigger reward for the Dark Lord than it was for him.
All his life he had fantasied about how good his life would have been without his father in it… but now that fantasy was actually being realised it did not feel as satisfying as he thought it would. He knew it couldn't be because of Tobias, if it were just him then Severus could have dealt with it – just as one would deal with the death of a completely random member of the public. But sad as the whole situation was, he just could not picture his mother without him there. As much as it had destroyed his very livelihood, there was a poisonous love between his parents… it was contaminated and it was unclean and it disgusted him – but he did not think, at this point in time, that they could live without it. Perhaps with that monster gone then his mother could start a new life… but it was much more likely that she would refuse to sleep and to eat and would starve herself to death. It wasn't a risk that he was prepared for.
Morning was just around the corner by the time he managed to fall asleep; ice queen with a heart of flint that she was, he would be forever grateful to Serafina Prince for instructing him in the art of Occlumency and dreamless sleep. Without it, sleeping might have been one of his worst fears…