Summary-Riley finally breaks, but she didn't expect the reason she would break would be because her of her parents and best friend.
Ok so I ended up making a part two :) So here it is and enjoy!
It's often said that it takes ten times longer to put yourself together then it does to fall apart and after that eventful day where Riley finally expressed her true feelings it takes ten things, ten moments for Riley to be pieced back together, to finally believe that she is worth it. After Riley storms out of the apartment she ends up going to Josh's NYU dorm and to say he was angry was an understatement, however he put aside his feelings towards the people that caused this and instead focused on his niece, holding her till she felt better. That was the first day in a long time where she remembered someone putting her feelings first, and holding her like she mattered. After that day, Josh made sure to text Riley every day, his texts varying from a simple 'How are you' to providing her details about what he had for lunch, with every text never failing to make her smile. Josh becomes her person and she starts to feel a tiny bit lighter after that.
The first two pieces to be put back together happens two weeks after the event and the first piece is provided by Farkle. Farkle who seemed to be the only one to notice her feelings after Texas, and to help her through starting high school. He came by the day after and sat next to her on the bay window, not saying anything, just sitting with her. Riley laid her head on his shoulder and whispered "Thank you for believing me, even when I don't believe in myself." Farkle kissed the top of her head, vowing to bring back the Riley Matthews that made his world light. Besides Isadora, Riley was the best person in his life and he wanted to make her realize that.
The day that first piece was restored came after a particular hard day at school, where Riley had a hard day in art class, where Riley saw Lucas and Maya talking and laughing and she still felt like everyone had been talking about her. She hid in the bathroom while eating her lunch and kept her head down in class, often being called on by the teacher for not listening. All she wanted was to go home, jump into bed and sleep, except when she gets home she notices her bedroom door is locked, she knocks.
"HANG ON 5 MORE SECONDS!"
"Farkle?" but before she could knock again he opens the door, and shuts it again.
"Farkle what…" but he quickly shushes her and places his hand over her eyes and opens the door, guiding her inside. He slowly removes his hand and she opens her eyes and gives a small gasp at what she sees.
Farkle had painted the entire wall behind her bed black and re-created the whole solar system, however one small detail had been changed. Right in the middle of the solar system is not the sun but instead Pluto. Riley goes closer to the wall, placing her fingers gently on the wall, tears filling her eyes. Farkle comes over to her and places his hand on her shoulder.
"Riley Pluto had you believing in it no matter what, now it's time for Pluto to believe in you."
Riley knew there was a hidden meaning in there and she couldn't help the tears that were falling, she turned and wraps her arms around Farkle.
"Thank you for being my best friend."
Farkle doesn't respond and holds Riley tighter, squeezing the first piece back into place.
The second piece is restored the day after Farkle, and Riley is shocked to find that it is Shawn who does it. She opens the door to see him standing there in the entrance way an awkward smile on his face and a box in his hands, she smiles faintly because she is still Riley after all and he is still family and mentions for him to come inside, however he says no.
"Oh um ok"
"I would like you to come with me ok?" Shawn instead asks.
Riley looks around and sees no one at home so she grabs her jacket and follows Shawn. The air around them is uncomfortable and awkward but it doesn't take them long to get to their destination. It was the small park that Cory always took Riley too and it held a lot of special memories. They find a park bench by the pond and sit down, their backs rigid and their faces blank. Riley waits, she waits for Shawn and stares out at the ducks that bask in the sunshine.
"Riley I know that you and I have not had the best relationship and I take full blame, I also should not have ignored you over Maya."
Riley shrugs. She was used to it.
Shawn sighs and goes to opens his mouth to speak but changes his mind and instead hands her the box. Riley looks at him quizzically but opens the box anyway. When she looks inside she couldn't believe what she saw, there nestled in between colored paper was this beautiful brown leather bound journal. Riley took it out and felt it gently with her fingers, turning it ever so slowly in her hands.
"Shawn what is this?"
"I came across your blog." He admitted and Riley looks up, wondering how he even knew about that.
"It's good Riley, really good. I know you are using it as a way to express yourself, but you have a real talent."
"Shawn, I don't know what to say."
"Say you will use it, use it to continue to express yourself and your talent. Because you do have a talent Riley, don't let anyone dimmer that light ok?"
Riley nodded, feeling speechless. She didn't think anyone read her blog, let alone noticed her skills. She glances at Shawn through unshed tears and leans over, hugging him tightly.
"Thank you Uncle Shawn, this is exactly what I need."
Shawn had fixed not only a piece of Riley's heart, but he also encouraged her with her writing and fixed their broken relationship finally turning it into a real one.
It takes two weeks after Shawn and 1 month after that day for Riley to unlock her Bay window, Riley wasn't surprised that it took just one day for the first visitor to appear however Riley was surprised that it was Zay. He sat in the Bay Window and watched as Riley made her way over to him, a confused look on her face.
"Hi Zay!" she smiled at him and Zay couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief that she didn't shun him, but he should have known that Riley would never shun someone like that. They sat their awkwardly for a few moments, and that's when Zay realized that they had never spent any time alone together.
"Riley, I wanted to apologize, everything you said was right."
"Zay-"
"No, it was, and I should never have made you think that I favored Maya over you because the truth is that I don't think that Maya and Lucas are right for each other. Maybe if Lucas was how he used to be in Texas, they would have been perfect, but not now. Not since he came to New York and met you."
Riley frowns "Then why do you tease them then?"
Zay cringes, hoping she wouldn't know bring that up.
"It's what I do, and most of the time I don't think about what I say, but the truth is. If there is anyone I want to see with my best friend…that person is you."
Riley perks up "Really?"
Zay nods "Really! Maya may be the blonde beauty, but Lucas the way he describes you is so much more. Your passion, your eyes, you faith in everything, he even described the way you eat ice-cream, it was a bit weird actually."
Riley giggles, blushing a little at Zay's words.
"So sugar, why don't you and I go out for ice-cream and I can describe in great detail exactly what Lucas says."
Riley nods, and at that moment the third piece of her heart repairs itself.
The fourth piece to be put back together doesn't take that long and she owes it all to Auggie. Ever since that day Auggie had become more or less Riley's shadow, and Riley would not have it any other way. Riley hadn't spoken to her parents much, despite living with them but Auggie made sure to always be the first and last person to see his sister. Auggie even came up with a day for just Riley and Auggie.
"It can be our day!" he tells his sister and shows her the list he made.
Riley nearly starts crying as the list shows everything Riley loves doing.
"Auggie I love it"
Auggie beams and gives his sister a hug.
"I just want you to be happy again."
"Oh Aug, I am always happy with you around. Now go and get your coat and we can start."
Riley had been so lost lately, that she forgot to enjoy life for what it was and to look at the things that mattered, Auggie was always the one person who actually wanted her to always be happy and somehow she had forgotten about that, about him. She made sure to never let go of his hand the whole day and took every opportunity to hug him.
On their way home, Auggie turns to Riley "Riley you are my sister and one of my favourite people in the world, and I don't like to see you sad. You will always be my hero."
Riley stops, and just looks at Auggie and Auggie stares back "Riley-" he goes to say but is soon stopped by Riley pulling him into a hug.
"I love you Auggie, and thank you for today." and Riley honestly doesn't mean to but she starts to cry, but for the first time in months they are happy tears.
Auggie has placed the fourth piece of her heart back in place.
Riley hasn't really spoken to her parents about that day, and it's not from a lack of trying from her parents but Riley wasn't sure if she would be able to get a word out without crying, and she didn't want to show her parents that she was weak, she wanted to show them that she was strong like Maya.
She woke up around midnight, she has been doing that a lot lately, and made her way to the kitchen to get a glass of water, except she was surprised to hear sound already coming from the lounge. She pauses just at the door and sees her mum sitting on the couch watching an old video.
"Riley look at the camera, Riley…"
Little Riley turns around and looks straight at the camera, giving it a toothy grin.
"CORY DID YOU SEE THAT?" Topanga yells coming in view of the camera and crouching down a few steps away from where Riley was sitting.
"Riley can you come to mommy?"
Riley tips her head to the side and places her hands on the floor, slowly lifting herself up. Her little chubby legs wobbly, but she quickly steady's herself. She looks at her mom, her little tongue poking out and a look of deep concentration on her face, she looks down at her feet and starts to take one hesitant little step.
"Cory look at her. That's it Riley!"
Riley looks at her mom again before down at her feet and takes another shaky step, then another and before she knows it she is falling into her mom's arms. Topanga lifts her up and kisses her cheek.
"CORY SHE WALKED!"
"I know Topanga, I filmed it remember." But Topanga wasn't listening, she was instead kissing Riley's face making Riley giggle. Topanga smiles at Riley and bring her in close before whispering
"Riley you are my little sunshine and I will always be proud of you no matter what."
The video flicked over to another video, and Riley started to slowly move back, forgetting all about her drink but then she heard a sob which stops her in her tracks. Even though her and her mom aren't speaking, she still hates it when she cries. She slowly makes her way to where Topanga was softly crying on the couch.
"Mommy?" she asks, sounding quite like she used to when she was younger and had just woken from a nightmare. Topanga quickly spun around and saw Riley standing there, looking like she has been carrying the whole world on her shoulders. Topanga jumps to her feet, and she brings Riley to her chest just as the first tear fell from Riley.
"Oh honey, I am sorry!"
The two cry in the middle of the room while old videos play in the background, showing all of Riley's achievements., a video that Riley didn't even know about. After a while they pull apart and go to sit on the couch, both of them wiping their cheeks. Topanga grabs the remote to turn off the video but Riley places her hand on top of hers, stopping Topanga.
"Don't leave it on, that is you and me on there."
Topanga lowers the remote, and links her fingers with Rileys.
"Riley you have no idea how sorry I am. I should have paid more attention; in fact, I should have praised you more. You are your own person and I should never compare you to anyone."
"Mom-"
"No please let me say this, my heart breaks at the fact that I haven't been the best mom to you."
"You are a great mom"
Topanga smiles sadly, even now Riley still believes the best in people despite how she was treated or feeling.
"No Riley, I haven't and I accept that. The truth is, I hate the fact that you have grown up and I just feel like you don't need me so I turn to people who do. But that doesn't give me a right to ignore you or put you down, because the fact is I am proud of you."
"You are?" asks, a tear falling down her cheek at her mother's words, Topanga pushes a bit of hair behind Riley's ear.
"Oh honey of course I am, I know I haven't always shown it or even voiced it but I am. The way you hold yourself with elegance, the faith you have in the world, how you never give up. Honey you make me proud to be your mother."
"Even though I don't have a talent? Even when I failed with art and cheerleading" Riley sniffles out, and Topanga pulls her into a hug.
"Riley, you have a talent Shawn showed me and your father your blog and it's amazing, and you haven't failed at anything you are still growing and still learning and you can and will succeed in anything you put your heart and mind to"
"I really needed to hear that mom. I really needed advice and I really just need you."
Topanga hates that she made her own daughter feel like she couldn't come to her, but she knows that their relationship will only grow from there. Topanga kisses her head while Riley cries softly against her and whispers a quiet "Your dad and I are so proud of you Riley, and we love you very much."
Topanga doesn't move from her position on the couch, holding her daughter while they both watch old videos, and still continues to hold her when Riley falls asleep.
"Hey you ok?" came a voice and Topanga turns her head to see Cory looking at them fondly. Topanga glances down at her daughter who still remains a sleep and smiles, looking back at Cory.
"I think we will be."
Cory smiles and makes his way over, picking up Riley in his arms just like he used to when she was little and she would fall asleep and makes his way to her room, tucking her tightly in the covers and kissing her on her forehead and just as he was leaving the room her hears a faint.
"Love you daddy." Making him smile.
Riley wakes up the next morning, and for the first time in a month and a half she doesn't take her time in getting ready. She makes her way to the kitchen and sees her mom placing a plate on the table, a plate full of pancakes and syrup.
Riley's Favourite.
She moves to her mother and kisses her cheek, before doing the same to her father. She sits down at the table and begins eating, throwing her mom a happy smile. Even through their relationship still needs more time to grow and be healed completely, Riley feels another piece of her heart, one of the biggest pieces of her heart fall back into place and she knows that things can only get better.
This is the first time in her life where she has gone a longer then a day without talking to Maya. She thought she would have tried after the event, but nothing. She thought that Maya would have been there the moment the bay window came unlocked, but she didn't. It in fact took two months for Riley to come home and see Maya sitting on the bay window.
"Maya?"
Maya lifts her gazes to see Riley at her door, and she stands up too, wringing her hands in front of her nervously. Riley closes her door softly, locking it knowing they needed absolute privacy for the conversation that is about to follow. Riley then makes her way to the bay window, sitting down on one side watching as Maya slowly sits down on the other side.
Neither of them know where to start or who should go first. There is an uncomfortable air that surrounds the bay window and the girls hate that their friendship has caused a disturbance within their special spot.
"I'm sorry it took two months for me to come." Maya starts off, her voice sounding tired. Riley gave Maya a glance, noticing just how tired she was, in fact Maya looked exactly how Riley felt.
"Why? Why didn't you come sooner?"
Maya opened her mouth but nothing came out, Riley waited not wanting to push her friend. She knows how hard it can be to get something off your chest.
"I…I was ashamed." Maya finally admitted, bowing her head and avoiding Riley's face at all costs.
"Ashamed? Maya what?" Riley exclaims, not thinking she would hear those words from her best friend.
"At the way I treated you, I was your best friend and I should have been the first to see right through your happy act, seen how my actions were affecting you. Yet I didn't and I am ashamed to know that I have been a crappy friend."
Riley never wanted to make Maya feel like a crappy friend, she just wanted, no she needed Maya to understand that Riley was struggling too.
"Maya you aren't a bad friend." Riley whispers, tears spilling out of her eyes. Maya shakes her head violently, taking Riley's hand in hers the first contact the two friends have had in months.
"No Riley, I was. I went home and thought about everything and I hated myself. You always had my back, you always sacrificed everything and you never gave up on me. And what do I do, I go after Lucas, I always go to your parents even though mom is always there and I didn't believe in you the way you in me." Maya croaked out.
"The truth is, you are the person I admire most and I just want everything you have, but that was no excuse for what I did. I just lost myself along the way, and then everything that happened with us and Lucas and I just got stuck and forgot to think about you"
"Maya can we please not talk about Lucas-"
"No, we need to. Because our friendship is more important than any feelings I have for Huckleberry. You are forever my soulmate Riley, no matter what guys come."
Riley smiles, because she knows Maya is right.
"Maya I want you to know this, my family will forever be your family, but-"
"But you don't want to feel like I am taking over?"
"No, well kind of but I just don't want to feel like I am being brought down or that I am not as important when your around…" Riley finally admitted.
"Oh honey! I am sorry I made you feel like that, but you are the most important person in their lives. Most important person in my life, and the most important person in Lucas's life."
"Peaches…" Riley said in a warning tone, not wanting to discuss him at all.
"No, it's something that needs to be discussed because you and him aren't finished. Him and I are, we are better as friends and I will not allow you to not explore your feelings because of me"
Riley couldn't help it, and she starts to cry because she finally feels like she has Maya back. Maya brings Riley into her arms, giving Riley the chance to finally let all her feelings about Lucas and high school out, vowing silently to not be the reason Riley feels like she needs to hide her emotions, and just like the power of the bay window and the rings, Riley and Maya fixed the Maya shape hole in both her heart and their friendship.
The weekend after Riley and Maya work out their friendship, Cory and Topanga throw a birthday party for Riley. Riley was reluctant to have one, however her parents insisted and closed down Topanga's for the night and invited everyone they knew. Riley felt unsure about having all her classmates there, but she put on a brave smile and enjoyed the evening.
It was when the party was winding down that Darby and Yogi came up to her and handed her a package. Riley gave them a quizzing look seeing as they already gave her a present but opened it anyway. Inside was a simple notebook with a picture of Riley with the words 'What Riley really means to us'. She opens the book and flips through the pages, giving small gasps at every page. There on every page was a picture of her and a classmate with a small quote at the bottom, and as Riley read another piece of her heart fell back into place.
"Riley you are a true inspiration to the girls who are too scared to believe.'
"Kind and Passionate is only just the surface to what this girl really is; caring, funny, positive and many more is what makes Riley, Riley!"
"Riley we love you, never ever change!"
Riley looks up and sees all her classmates watching, she gives them a warm smile.
"Guys I love it; you didn't have to do this."
Yogi shrugs "You tell us what we mean to you, so this is us showing you what you mean to us."
"Thank you so much guys, for the present and for coming." Riley gives them all a hug and watches them leave, locking the door behind them as Maya came up to her.
"Good night?"
Riley smiles, however Maya knows it is forced. Everyone who mattered to Riley came, everyone however but one.
"Did you want me to walk you home?"
Riley shakes her head "No it's ok, I might stay and clean up here. Saves mom and Katy doing it tomorrow."
"You sure?"
"It's fine Maya, thank you for everything"
Maya smiles and gives Riley a kiss on the cheek before leaving. Riley sighes and scans the room, before going and clearing some of the cups, however a knock at the bakery door stops her. There standing just outside the door in the snow was Lucas, giving Riley a small but sad smile.
Riley stands still, not expecting that this moment here, on her birthday in her mother's bakery would be the moment she had with Lucas. She gulps before making her way to the door and unlocking it, allowing Lucas to come inside.
"Hey."
"Hi."
The exchange was short and awkward, but both of them felt a sense of familiarity to it. Riley knew her and Lucas needed to talk, but now that she was standing in front of him she had no words. However, she didn't need to think that hard because Lucas started it for her.
"Riles, I am sorry for not being here tonight. I just didn't want this conversation to be done in front of others. I have a lot of things I need to apologize and make up for. First thing is the whole Maya thing, I should not have dated her. I should not have flirted with her in front of you and I should have realized that it wasn't her that I wanted, it was you."
"Lucas…"
"No, you may not believe it but you broke me when you said those things because it made me realize how much I need you in my life, yet I didn't treat you the way you deserve, and I made you doubt your place in my life."
"Lucas what are you trying to say?" Riley asks, needing to know how he really felt.
"I am saying that to me Riley no one compares, you aren't Maya…you are Riley who is both beautiful and pretty, smart and funny. You make me go calm and crazy all at the same time, and no girl has ever sprayed me with a hose or thought I could ride the bull or kissed me the way you did. I should have asked you to the semi-formal, I shouldn't have dated Maya and I should have by now had my moment."
Lucas takes a tiny step closer, and Riley feels the heat radiating between them, he takes another step placing his hand on her cheek. Riley meets his eyes just as his face inches closer and before she could process it his lips touch hers. The kiss is simple but it's the kiss that fills Riley's heart with a new feeling, something that only Lucas could bring, a sense of love and need and a triumphant sense of finally being good enough for somebody. They pull apart and Lucas rests his forehead against hers, both of them not feeling the need to break apart, and while the kiss brought a new feeling it was the words that fixed the pieces that Lucas broke off, the words that had a new meaning to Riley and the words that she wanted and needed to hear.
"I love you."
Riley would say that her heart completely healed that day, but it wasn't until a towards the end of high school after her birthday that she felt her heart had fully healed itself. The ninth piece was repaired when Riley walked across the stage in her school gym to the loud applause of the audience, and the cheering of the people in the front row. Seeing every important person in her life yell and cheer for her made her feel cherished and appreciated at the fact that they were proud of her and they were showcasing it to the world. She gets to the podium, and waits for the gym to quiet down.
"Thank you so much for coming, it means a lot to be accepting this award and scholarship to NYU especially for something that was and is quite personal. I started this blog as a way to finally let my feelings out and it soon became a way for other kids to connect and share their feelings and soon it was helping other people fully accept themselves. I didn't start writing it to make anyone feel bad for me or for anyone to feel guilty, I wrote it because of me. I wrote it to fix myself, because at the end of the day I need to look after my own heart and to finally believe in myself again just like everyone else does. Everyone has things that break them, things that add up and push them to their limit. I had mine, and I also had the defining moments and the important people help glue them back together, but there is still one-piece missing, one piece that sits right in the center. That piece is me, that piece is the piece that sits inside all of you and it's your piece. I can officially say that today that everything has bene put back into place, because I finally believed that I was good enough, that yes I am weird and goofy but I am me, and I am real. There will be things in your life that push you, people in your life that break you, but remember it's ok to be selfish and to fight back because no one else can fight for you."
Riley looks down at her paper and then looks over the audience her gaze landing on her family, who are all beaming, Maya who is crying and Lucas who couldn't be prouder, she smiles at them before saying one more thing.
"At the end of the day that center piece is the most important because that's my piece, because I fixed it myself and I finally believe in myself again, because in my eyes Pluto is still a planet and nobody can tell me otherwise."