Disclaimer: I do not own Star Trek
Cordelia was exhausted.
The hospital refused to let her work, and she realized they were right to do that. She was too tired to function, after ordering people around until the officials really took over that night. They were able to get survivors to the hospital, and the dead to be buried by morning. Compared to what it could've been, the death toll wasn't too terrible, but Cordelia felt it deeply. She was both emotionally and physically too tired to function.
After getting dismissed for medical and emotional leave, Cordelia discovered that Ginger was still in a coma. When she found Leonard in the hospital, he told her that James was also in a coma, but Leonard said wasn't allowed in to see him quite yet. So, she spent her time after being dismissed getting food and going to the waiting room where Sulu awaited news of his girlfriend. He sat hunched over in a chair, still wearing a singed StarFleet uniform, his face covered in grime and dried blood. Other than his initial disheveled appearance, he seemed physically fine.
"How are you doing?" Sulu asked when Cordelia approached, carrying coffee and biscuits.
"Better," she replied softly. "I told Scotty a few hours ago about Mina."
"He always poked fun and called her his daughter," Sulu sighed sadly. "He must've been torn up."
"He's been in the labs since I told him, working on their formula for the shielding device."
"Of course he has. I assume he isn't going to be easy to pull away."
"You would assume correctly."
"Excuse me?"
Sulu and Cordelia looked to see Leonard in front of them. The former stood immediately. "How does it look?"
"She got a hard hit to the head," Leonard came closer hesitantly. "We ran some tests, and everything else is fine. It's just the head injury."
"There's something else, isn't there?" Sulu crossed his arms. "What is it?"
"Ginger, she's..." Leonard handed Cordelia his clipboard hesitantly. "She's pregnant."
Cordelia looked at her charts and x-rays. He was right; for the head injury, they had managed to get the internal bleeding to stop, but wouldn't know much else until she woke up. Her heart was in good condition, there were no broken bones, and she had a healthy fetus growing.
"I don't believe this," she whispered. "Ginger..."
"Would be thrilled," Sulu whispered. He sat back down shakily, a hand coming to cover his mouth. Tears sprung forth. "She would be so excited."
"She's six weeks," Cordelia told him, blinking back her own tears. Part of her felt guilt that her sadness for Mina's death was being overpowered by joy at the thought of a baby—if Ginger woke up.
"What happens if she doesn't wake up?" Sulu frowned.
"We'll keep her in a coma, alive enough to keep the baby growing," Leonard said. "After we deliver the baby, who knows what her body will do. The brain and delivery are both very risky areas."
Cordelia sat next to Sulu, offering her hand to hold. He took it and kept his head down. Rubbing his back with her other hand, she looked back to Leonard. "And James? How is he?"
"Jim'll be fine," Leonard assured her. "He's going to be sleeping a lot, but his cells are restored to health."
She let out a breath of relief. "Is everyone else alright?"
"They're on their way," he told her. "I'm gonna go check on my other patients, but I'll be back soon."
Cordelia set her head on Sulu's shoulder. "How will we tell Ginger?"
"I don't know," Sulu replied. "I just don't know."
When Uhura and Christine made it, followed soon by Spock, Cordelia held Uhura as she crumpled into sobs. She fought back her own tears as the dark girl's sobs shook both their bodies. Something in Cordelia tried to break free and cry, but she refused to while she soothed Uhura, who eventually sought comfort in Spock's embrace.
When Cordelia and Christine embraced, both cried silently. The two nurses leaned on each other for support, Christine letting her tears simply drip down her face. It was somehow more moving to see the silent grief, and Cordelia watched as people turned away to give them a moment to grieve Mina silently.
At least, until Spock approached them. "I apologize, Christine, but may I speak with Cordelia?"
"Of course," Christine said softly. She withdrew from Cordelia's arms and went straight to Uhura's. Looking at the half-Vulcan, Cordelia rose from her seat and followed him.
The two had a peculiar relationship. She'd kept the relationship between him and Uhura quiet after catching them kissing in his office. He grew to appreciate her respectfulness of his culture and preference to withhold emotions, while she found his logic or silence refreshing when their group became too much. While Spock and Ginger shared an intellectual relationship, he and Cordelia shared a silent understanding.
"Yes?" Cordelia said to him.
"How are you faring?"
"I'm sad," Cordelia bit her lip. "But I will not let it consume me."
"Because of your brother, and you do not wish to follow in his footsteps to suicide?"
"Yes," Cordelia nodded. "Did James tell you about Michael?"
"Jim may have informed me," he replied slowly. "Out of concern on his death day."
"And you wished to check on me." Cordelia understood. "Thank you, Spock. You're a good friend."
A small smile played on his lips. "I'm beginning to understand what that is."
Cordelia smiled back, still attempting to blink her tears away. Spock frowned before lowering his voice. "Stop worrying about others, Cordelia. You must grieve yourself."
"I did," Cordelia wiped her tears away. "But everyone grieves differently."
He clasped his hands in front of him. "You wish for others to be taken care of; this is how you grieve."
"Yes," she whispered, barely getting the word out. They stood in companionable silence for a few moments, him letting Cordelia gather her thoughts. "I want him to be awake, Spock. I need James to comfort me. Is that selfish?"
"Truthfully, it is slightly selfish," he replied. It comforted her that Spock knew her feelings wouldn't get hurt. "Yet at the moment, I cannot say that I disapprove. He finds comfort in you, you find comfort in him. As you seek comfort, it is only logical that you wish for his presence."
"Thank you for being honest."
"Always."
They stood awhile longer, once again in silence. Cordelia leaned against the wall. Spock stood beside her, emotions in check. She saw, however, the tension in his shoulders and the tightness of his lips as they quirked down. Spock was worried for his friends.
"Is it not difficult to take care of others when you are exhausted?" Spock asked out of the blue (though truthfully, nothing he said was put of the blue, as Spock always thought before he spoke). Cordelia simply nodded. "Then should you not go home, sleep, shower, and eat? It's the logical choice, so that you may better care for others."
"You're right, as usual," Cordelia admitted. "But I can't bring myself to. Not so soon after Mina..."
Her voice broke.
"Perhaps, you would find comfort in Jim's apartment?" Spock offered his suggestion.
"That's actually not a bad idea," Cordelia smiled softly. "Call me if anything changes?"
"Of course."
)-(
Cordelia awoke a day later in James' bed feeling somewhat warmer inside. She couldn't count the endless amount of times they'd fallen asleep talking or watching TV, or simply listening to music while doing random activities like reading or studying. The bed in his apartment was almost as familiar as her own. Breathing in his scent, Cordelia instantly felt comforted. James was probably her closest friend; even more so than Ginger or Mina. They just understood each other so well. It was easy to be around him, almost...simple. Even being around his apartment made her feel like he was comforting her.
After she'd showered and changed clothes (Cordelia had spare necessities...even her own drawer), she went to a cafe on the opposite side of town. There, she drank coffee and had a comforting bowl of soup. It all made her feel much better.
Still harboring sadness, Cordelia returned to the hospital. Sulu was there, looking like he'd changed and showered as well. They both went to Ginger's room, where she slept soundly.
"Any change?" Cordelia asked softly.
"None," Sulu replied. "Well, her hand twitched and something happened to her breathing when I talked to her last night. Leonard said that was normal though."
"The others?"
"Uhura and Spock left a little after you did. Chekov waited until nightfall, and Christine stayed until she started falling asleep around three. I went home this morning and freshened up, then came back and had breakfast in the cafeteria. I've been here since."
"Any word from StarFleet?" Cordelia continued asking questions.
"Until the Enterprise is fixed, we've got nothing to do. We're all on grief leave, due to experiencing the horror that we did."
"Rebuild?"
"They're clearing out rubble, then they'll start reconstruction on headquarters. Once that, and a memorial, are built, we'll hold a ceremony to honor all lost."
Mina's lifeless eyes floated back into Cordelia's mind. She choked back the sudden grief and bit her lip. "Right. I'm just going to..."
Suddenly, Ginger's monitor went off. Cordelia jumped up and rushed forward, looking at it intently. Something was happening in Ginger's mind that was making her stress levels shoot up. "Leonard!"
"What's happening?" Sulu demanded as staff rushed in. "Is she alright?"
"We need to leave," Cordelia tugged his arm. "They can't do their job with us in the way."
Waiting was excruciating. Sulu paced, Cordelia waited in stillness, and they didn't speak. Standing with just a door separating them from Ginger felt like a taunt. Cordelia put her head in her hands and tried to focus on staying calm.
After what seemed like ages, the door was opened. Leonard stood there hesitantly. "She's awake, but I can only allow her emergency contact in the room right now...regulation."
Sulu cursed—Mina and Cordelia were her emergency contacts. "When can I see her?"
"When we're positive she's stable," Leanord squeezed the other man's shoulder. "Cordelia?"
She went into the room. Ginger lay on the bed, tears falling from her eyes. The two looked at each other for moments before Ginger let out a shaky sob and opened her arms. Cordelia easily slid onto the bed and embraced her friend, careful of her IV drip.
"Mina was meeting my class and me for lunch," Ginger croaked. "After it happened, I remember crawling to her through the cloud of dust. She was barely responding, and blood was coming from her head so—so fast. I-I tried to hold her, but she passed out right in front of me. The last thing I remember is her shuddering and then...nothing. I thought she may be sleeping, but she was so still, and I just fainted right there."
"Oh Ginge," Cordelia whispered. She held Ginger a little more securely. It seemed like they sat there awhile before Ginger was too tired to handle it.
"They told me about the baby," she whispered drowsily. "Tell Sulu I love him, and I can't...wait to...to have his...baby..."
Cordelia smiled softly and slid from the bed. She walked out in the hallway to find Sulu still pacing impatiently. When he saw her, he rushed forward in concern.
"She'll be alright, I think," Cordelia smiled encouragingly. "She wants me to tell you that she can't wait to have your baby."
The first true grin since he'd been there hit his face. It reached his eyes and crinkled the corners. "That's..that's amazing. When can I see her?"
"They'll keep her here for another day or so probably, before they move her to a recovery floor where people outside family can come see her. It's the same floor James is on."
"How is the captain doing?" Sulu inquired, looking guilty. "I haven't spoken to McCoy about him that much. The poor man comes up and down the hospital to make sure Ginger's okay."
"He says James will be alright," Cordelia assured him. "All you need to worry about is finding a beautiful ring."
His face drooped. "Right."
"You'll be fine, I promise," Cordelia laughed quietly. Things could get better, she knew they could. Mina may be gone, but they had a bright future looking out ahead of them, with a baby on the way and a marriage hopefully before.
Now, if only James would wake up…