Disclaimer: I own nothing.

It wasn't exactly unusual for Cordelia to come across Spock's office. When she'd been a cadet, she interned under him while thinking she wanted to be a science officer. It wasn't until the Vulcan had accidentally started a fire and injured himself, and Cordelia had to care for him that she realized she wanted to do just that; care for people.

"Nurse Jennings," Spock said upon her entering. He was with a student. "If you could wait a moment, I will attend to you."

"Of course," Cordelia nodded professionally. She waited until the young man left the room before sitting herself in one of the chairs across from Spock's desk.

"What may I help you with, Cordelia?" Spock asked earnestly, hands folded on his desk.

"I'm not entirely sure," she admitted. "It's just that you are incredibly perceptive and you generally seem to know what people think."

"I have been attempting to better learn how feelings are shown by subtle reactions and physical ticks," he replied in affirmation. "What is it you think I've seen?"

"I know I'm jealous of Carol Marcus and James' praise of her," Cordelia fidgeted. It wasn't that she hated admitting her wrongs, she hated even doing something wrong in the first place. "I also know that I'm...in love with him. I just don't know what made me react the way I did. He was talking about her being brilliant and needed on the Enterprise, and I just...I wanted to tell him that I was amazing for him, and I could be brilliant if I needed to be. But I couldn't. Instead, I snapped at him about being a flirt and stomped out."

"I may be wrong," Spock said slowly. "I believe, however, that you felt anger at yourself for not being able to speak up. You were jealous of Officer Marcus, yes, but you were angrier with yourself for not being able to say anything, so you lashed out."

Cordelia leaned back in her seat. It made sense. The inner conflict she'd been having in the back of her mind, nagging at her to buck up the guts, made her realize that maybe she had directed her anger at James because it was easier.

"Thank you, Commander," Cordelia said formally. "You've been most informative."

Cordelia saw the corner of Spock's mouth twitch in amusement. "I'm pleased I could be of assistance, Nurse Jennings."

She nodded and swiftly left the room. It seemed like Cordelia couldn't get her thoughts together, like she needed...really needed...

Yoga pants.

As always, yoga helped her relax.

Yoga in the park was even better. It was a sunny day, so the city was shining and clear. Cordelia was able to find a spot under a tree and set out her yoga mat. The gentle breeze brushing her face and happy sounds that normally filled the park made her feel pleasantly cliché. It allowed her to focus her mind.

"I figured I could find you here," a voice said from beside her.

Cordelia kept her eyes closed. "I was planning to come over when I finished."

"Oh," he shuffled. "I'm sorry to interrupt."

"Really?" at this, Cordelia did open her eyes. She looked at James, standing in his casual clothes, leaning against a tree. "You normally love interrupting my yoga time."

"I don't want to upset you like I did yesterday," James said evenly. He seemed wary of her, as he should be. She'd had a few uncharacteristic outbursts lately.

"About that," Cordelia straightened up, clasping her hands together. "You didn't do anything wrong. It was my fault for being rude and stand-offish, and I'm really sorry about that. Forgive me?"

"There's nothing to forgive," James brushed it off, stepping forward. "I just want to know what's going on with you. I know you're a quiet person, but you always tell me when something's going on. What's different about this?"

"Nothing is," she admitted. "To be truthful, I was jealous."

"Of Carol?"

She nodded. "I didn't like that she kept popping up in conversation, and that you spoke so highly of her. You don't talk like that about girls, except for me. I'm supposed to be the only one you talk about. It was so petty and incredibly selfish, and I am so sorry for that Jamie."

"Don't be sorry," he chuckled. Slowly, he reached out a hand. When she complied, James tugged her closer and pressed a kiss to her forehead, then hugged her closely. "You will always be the most special girl in my life."

"You're not mad that I'm being...well, a bitch?"

"I was," he said earnestly. "But I have to say, hearing you admit you were jealous and that you overreacted made me feel way better. It was selfish, but I'm selfish too, so I can't be a hypocrite, can I?"

If there was anything James hated, it was a hypocrite.

"Thank you, James," she whispered lightly.

"You're welcome," he replied. James pulled back, a grin on his face. "Now, come on!"

"What?"

He flashed her a grin. "You're my date to Sulu and Ginger's wedding shower, obviously. We gotta go get ready!"

"James, I need to go home to do that."

"We'll stop there. You're hanging out at my place the rest of the afternoon."

)-(

"How did you Get Scotty out of the engine rooms?"

"I brought him a sandwich."

She smiled. "I'm guessing he then remembered the friends he has here, all of which are concerned for his health?"

"You got it." James grinned, stretching out lazily on the bed. "Sulu and I took him back to the apartment, got him a scotch, made sure he cleaned himself up, and he's doing better. He's still sad about Mina, clearly, but the intense grieving is over I think."

"That's good," Cordelia began brushing her hair. "I can't imagine losing someone who was like a daughter to me."

"You should've told me you were packing up your old apartment the other day," he went on. "I would've helped."

"I'm fine now," she told him. "Mina's room is done, so the hard part is over. We finished cleaning out the rest of our things yesterday. I'm fully moved into Christine's, and Ginger is fully moved into the house Sulu bought."

"How did Ginger do with packing up Mina's things?"

Cordelia shot him a look.

"Pregnancy hormones, right," he shook his head. James looked at her oddly as she continued brushing her hair. "Is there anything you'd like to say, Cordelia?"

Cordelia's stomach flipped when he said her name. The more time she spent with him, the more she desired to tell him how she really felt and how they were perfect for each other. Spock was right—she was angry with herself.

"No," she replied softly, going back to her task. "My mind's just busy."

"Come on, Cordie," James pouted. "We just got over this hiding stuff like an hour ago. Tell me."

"I don't have anything to say." If possible, her voice lowered. "It's really nothing important."

"Cordelia, your feelings are important," he rolled his eyes like she was the silliest thing. "Whoever told you they weren't is ridiculous."

"I..." she trailed off, finally looking up into his blue eyes—the eyes that captivated her from the moment they met. Her heart skipped a beat.

I love you.

"I just miss Mina is all," Cordelia said. "I had to go to Spock for advice, and I normally go to Mina. It was upsetting."

James loped over to her. It felt natural when he put his chin on her head and his arms around hers. He stood close to Cordelia, eyes filled with warmth. "We all miss her, Cordelia, and it's alright to miss her. We just have to live life the way she would want us to."

"You're right," she smiled softly. Looking up at him, she felt a true smile spread across her cheeks. "Mina would want you to shave, so you have to shave."

"You don't like my beard?"

"That is hardly a beard, and it scratches my temple when you hug me."

He laughed, pulling her up to stand with him. "Fine. But before I do..."

He leaned down and rubbed his cheek against hers. She squealed and ran from his arms, leading him to repeat the action multiple times. Each time, she felt the scratch of his prickly beard. She was sure her cheek was red by now. It was fun though, probably the most fun they'd had since he'd come home from the hospital. The weeks before were relaxing and nice, but this made it feel as if things were going back to normal.

When they collapsed onto the couch, Cordelia was laying across his chest. James' face was inches from hers, and they both silenced their laughter almost instantaneously. A small smile still lit his face, but it seemed much more serious.

"I've missed you since you moved in with Christine," he said sincerely, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. "It isn't the same with you gone."

"We'll still hang out," she promised. "But we're getting a little old for sleepovers, don't you think?"

"Adult versions of sleepovers could be fun," he winked.

Cordelia's heart sank. Did he think only of sex? She was worried that if she braved enough to admit she had feelings for him, would she be able to also add that his loose way with women made her even more hesitant? She knew he longed for something meaningful! Why couldn't he just show her he could be serious so she could open her heart?

"True," she responded simply, not voicing any of these thoughts. "But don't think about that now. You need to shave and shower, then get dressed! We have a party to attend."

She slid off of him, acknowledging him with a gentle look. He stood and squeezed her hand sweetly before swaggering off to the shower. A bit of sadness floated into her heart, but she pushed it away.

"Get a grip on yourself, Cordelia," she muttered.

That was easy to say. As she fixed her hair in the bedroom, however, her face flushed and her head spun because he left the shower room in only a towel. She briefly wondered if he was trying to seduce her. It was torture, and she had to turn away to not think about his muscles dripping with water. It was almost as bad as their morning runs, when he wouldn't where his shirt.

She had to leave the room.

"Pink or blue shirt?" he called to her.

She thought about the way his eyes looked when he wore each color. "Blue!"

She looked briefly in the mirror that hung in the entry way. Her curled red hair was piled on her head, and she wore a simple, plum colored sundress. Feeling relaxed and pretty, Cordelia turned away. Moments later, James emerged in dark jeans, with blue button down shirt tucked in and belted. His hair was tousled, something quickly fixed by gel and Cordelia's hands.

They looked like quite the pair, she thought.

The house warming party for the newly engaged couple was supposed to mix as a wedding shower, so she and James had pitched in to buy Ginger and Sulu a set of kitchen appliances. They had wrapped the delivery ticket so the couple knew when it would all be coming. James had also insisted on a particularly expensive bottle of champagne, which had a blue bow tied to it.

James grabbed the bottle and pecked her cheek. "You look amazing."

"Thank you," Cordelia blushed. She was surprised to see him so...domestic. "I was right about the blue."

"I look amazing, don't I?" James grinned. She rolled her eyes and headed for the door. "What? Something in my teeth?"

"You look perfectly handsome, James," she giggled. "Except...I think you forgot to zip up your pants."

"What?" he looked down stupidly. Finding himself perfectly intact, James grabbed her waist and pulled her along. "That was clever, you pulled a 'me' move."

"I learn from the best."

"You got that right," James smirked. Cordelia laughed as he tugged her with him, feeling that sense of ease again. Things with James were only getting better, and she hoped that she would work up some courage at some point.

How could she be mad at anyone but herself if she never made a move?