Ino's eyes fluttered open as the dawns light broke over the building facing the apartment window, bathing them in a orange glow. Her lover's arms pulled her closer to him, their nude forms sliding against one another. She moaned into a stretch as his hands ran over her arching body and his lips found that spot he so lovingly marked the night before. She gasped as he trailed from the nape of her neck down her shoulder to kiss her arm. The hand of said arm gripped his, blonde, bed ridden hair, then tugged the man into a kiss that made her grip the love stained sheets in rapture.

"Good morning Love." She whispered lovingly to him as she pulled away from the kiss.

"Good morning my Hime." He whispered back, kissing her softly.

Then the sun's ethereal charm faded into the blah yellow tint of day. She was hungry, he was a little smelly, a certain place was sore as hell, and both of their breath stank.

Okay, so the day after of making love wasn't a bed of roses, it took him three tries to get her that 'Screaming Orgasm' that had started this whole thing, not that they stopped at three mind you, and their new sheets had to be washed… really bad.

However, looking into his eyes as she turned to him and admiring the love and lust she found, she knew she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.

…

Oh God, that sounded so utterly perky, even for her.

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Fakers!

Chapter Seventeen: Tests

By

Hibiki

"You know why you don't own Naruto, Hibiki? 'Because I'm me?' Right, be less all… of this. 'You just gestured to all of me.' Exactly! Be more like him, Kishimoto." -Hibiki

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The sheets were washed and out on his minuscule deck for the sun's heat to dry, their teeth brushed, and a quick pinch (Lucky ninjas) to a nerve cluster for most of the soreness, all was left was their…

"I stink." He remarked.

"Yes you do." She replied, a half smile on her face as she watched him sniff his underarm like a monkey checking for fleas. He frowned as he looked to her, clearly not finding her amusement at his aroma all that endearing. Smirking he reached for her. "Don't you grab me with that, you jerk! You were rubbing your armpit with that hand!" She dodged and the two of them ran about the apartment, her shrieking as he laughed like a cartoon villain with the hero trapped in some overly made trap. It was utterly stupid, two twenty one year olds running about a tiny apartment like two kids in a playground, but neither one could resist acting like kids with the cheerfulness they felt. She winced, however, when something pinched when it should have pulled and in doing so fell back into him tripping both of them to the floor in a dazed heap. The two breathed heavily at the chase until Naruto rolled onto his back and laughed at the silliness of their actions. She joined in a few moments later. In a quick move, Ino forced his hands above him and held them down. "I got you." She replied as her chest heaved above him, her smile one of victory. Something flickered in his eyes and his hips ground against hers that made her breath quicken.

"So what are you going to do to me." His voice was low, deep and made her grind herself against him. Innocent fun instantly became adult and she dipped her head to steal a kiss from the strongest man in their village, perhaps even the world. The power that gave her, him under her willingly, that soreness be damned. She wanted him.

"Ahem." A soft voice broke over their not so innocent game. A slug, about the size of a small dog was before them on the window seal. Her blue and white body instantly recognizable.

"Katsuya-chan! What's up?" She was Tsunade and Sakura's personal summon, in one of her smaller forms.

"Apparently you, Uzumaki-kun." Oh my he was. Ino licked her lips at the sight as he gaped at the slug, usually prim and proper while the gastropod giggled demurely. "I was asked by Tsunade-sama for you to report to her immediately about some seal you need for your teams second exam I believe?" Naruto's eyes widened at what that mean and he laughed merrily.

"HAHA! I knew my girls would get through the first one alright, dattebayo!" Katsuya giggled again as a groaning Ino palmed her face as one of those stupid quirks of Naruto's (and his mother) appeared.

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Indeed they had, using a skill only triplets or twins could. Haruka had the brains, Haruna had the skills, and Harumi… well Harumi was rather like Naruto when he first went to the Chunin exams. Using a clan developed Kawarimi the girls kept the same look at moments to substitute themselves with one another. With virtually no lag in their visual images Haruka was pulled by Haruna to each sister's spot to fill out their sheets. However for Ibiki's infamous tenth question, Harumi pulled another Naruto tactic, as in royally pissing off the Interrogator by saying 'Whatever happens I will go at it with my team, and we'll make our sensei proud!' When asked who was their sensei, the Haru triplets replied together 'Uzumaki Naruto!' Ibiki wasn't surprised in the least after that.

So here he was, Katsuya sitting like a slimy parrot on his shoulder as he and Ino made their way in to see the Hokage. Shizune was by their side describing the play by play of his team.

"You missed the Jounin meeting last night Uzumaki Naruto, where we would deliver these all at once." Tsunade remarked as she slapped a seal into his arm. The ink flashed then pooled around his wrist. "You better have a good excuse."

"Um well we went shopping you see and we found this crib, it was perfect so Hime and I decided to get it but on the way to my apartment Hime's dad ran across us and got angry well I know why I would be too but he had the wrong idea about us so right before he's gonna start yelling in the street Hime said we had to go to Inoichi and Chigusa-okaachan's place and explain why we had bought it and then by the time everything was explained it was so late me and Ino headed to my place and …" The man gasped in a massive gulp of air before continuing his large run on sentence of an explanation. "the rest of it is private between me and Ino." The two other women blinked as they tried to get all that while Ino shook her head at the heavens.

"Naruto, out, Ino stay, Gossip now." Tsunade ordered. Shizune pulled up a chair. Ino turned and looked to him with a wry smile.

"Guess I have to stay, Hokage's orders."

"But Hime, we um. What should I do until you are done?"

"Why don't you go help Mom, she's stuck in the shop all day alone today." [slam!] The big door closed on his face. Women and gossip he'd never figure it out.

"I guess I'll go help Chigusa-okaachan, I guess. Yeah." Deciding he had nothing better to do, he would at least be the good 'maybe-not-quite-but-hopefully-in-the-future-sooner-rather-than-later-if-he-played-his-cards-right-and-if-Ino-felt-comfortably-ready' son-in-law… Yeah they needed to work on the exact location their relationship was really at. His brain was going to melt if he had to keep remembering all of that.

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"Is that Sanko?" Naruto asked as he looked into the yard of the compound as he arrived. The girl sat her back to them as she threw pebbles into the pond. Her back was bowed like she had the weight of the world.

"Yes, she and her team failed the first exam, if I understood Inoichi and Kurenai-san correctly, she still hasn't perfected the Shintenshin no Jutsu and they caught her using it and tossed her team out. She's been there all morning, I couldn't coax her in for lunch." Naruto nodded.

"Mind if I try and talk to her?"

"Oh course, if your think you can help her."

"Chigusa-okaachan should have more faith in me, after all, I am to be the Nanadaime Hokage (Do we count Danzo as the 6th? I guess I will), it's my duty to take care of all of Konoha." He made a shadow clone then slid out the door for the troubled teen.

"Chigusa-taichou! I am at your service, please tell me how I may assist you!" The clone bowed. Chigusa smirked evilly then held out a rather… girly looking apron. The clone gulped.

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"Hey Sanko-chan." The girl's distant look dropped for shock as Naruto approached her.

"Ah, um Naruto-sensei! Hello!" She rose up to bow to him but he waved her down.

"Hey." He stepped over the log and sat down upon it. "So… You want to talk about it?"

"What's is there to say? I'm a horrible kunoichi. My team must hate me, Kurenai-sensei too. I failed them. I failed my clan, I failed… my father." Yamanaka Santa, Inoichi's cousin, was lost in the fourth shinobi war at the battle of Zetsu.

Naruto was silent for a moment then began talking, his fingers in a cross shape.

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"Tadaima." Tsunade and Shizune should have been interrogators than medics. It was all she was willing to say on the subject.

"Hello, welcome to the Yamanaka Flower shop, how may I assist you today?" A quiet almost humble voice called out, and Ino paused as the voice was familiar but not easily recognizable. Looking up she found a woman dressed in a long almost matronly styled white dress that brought a mature flair to her well rounded figure. Her blonde hair easily reached her waist even with it done up in a pony tail and tossed over one shoulder. if anything the hair style merely showed a long sensuous neck. Over the dress was an work apron more suited to Yamaguchi than the person wearing it. The broom in delicate hands stopped sweeping as she bowed to her, and if one looked anywhere but the girl's face, you would have thought she was adorable, perhaps even sexy in a MILF sort of way. Only the look on her face seemed as if she was beyond ready to commit murder.

"N-Naruto?" The 'girl's smile cracked into a series of deranged chuckles.

"H-hime… help me… When boss went to help Sanko-chan he made me to help your mom and SHE WENT CRAZY!" The clone hissed out. "When I turned into a girl to wear this stupid apron she forced me to do all the rest! She said! She said-!" A snap of fingers made the clone snap to attention.

"SLAVE! Breaks over! BACK TO WORK!" Tears appeared in eyes of the clone and she got back to sweeping, head bowed like she had just been told Ramen had been forbidden in the village. Ino, curious walked over to her mother, who had her feet up on the office desk, reading the newspaper as she sipped tea.

"Mom? Why are you making him do that?" Ino was just a tad bit upset, after all her boyfriend was being more girly than her.

"Well I was going to tease him into wearing it, but then he up and changed into her before I could make him wear it as a guy. I guess I got a little… mean to the dear. I told him that if he wanted me to ever give him my blessings to marry you he'd have to follow my every command. She… he… Oh it gets so confusing, has been great, all the work your father and you do around the shop, even the things that Sanko hasn't been able to do is finished! Not a peep of complaining what so ever! No wages either! Haha! I could get use to this!" She snapped her fingers again. "Slave get your girlfriend an iced tea, just the way she likes it!" The clone nodded, bowed then went for the kitchen in the house.

"Your horrible, doing that to him." Ino remarked when Naruto was gone. Chigusa waited for it. "I want in." Her daughter was so predictable.

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"So you see, Sanko-chan, even if you fail a hundred times or just once, don't think your team, your family would turn away form you. If anything you'd make your dad more proud, by standing up again and giving it your all." It was then her teammates appeared around her accompanied with a shadow clone. As he moved a little aside, next to the dark haired beauty that was Kurenai, Sanko apologized for her behavior and asked for them to accept her back. It was heart felt moment, something he was glad to help in.

"Thank you Naruto." He liked Kurenai, she was the only one who didn't think him a pervert with all those rumors around, still called him after all that had happened just 'Naruto', and had helped the girls when he tried to explain the hazards of being a Kunoichi in the field.

"It's not a problem. You helped me out so many times with the girls it was the least I could do. All I did was point her in the right direction." Kurenai patted his arm then walked over to her team. He might have been taken, happily he might add, but it was kinda hard not to notice that Kurenai had a really nice ass.

"KONOHAMARU!"

Wait that sounded like him… eh, her… whatever.

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"Naruto-baka!" The poor clone snapped to attention. "For your final test of devotion, you must do what the next person to walk into the shop asks NO MATTER WHAT!" The clone's expression turned from sorrowful to hopeful as Ino rose to make her way out the door. She stopped to pat the phony female on the head, to show she hadn't meant any harm. It would be her undoing.

"Uzumaki Naruto." A calm voice broke over the girls and they looked to find a diminutive red head looking at them through dark rimmed green eyes.

"Eh… Welcome to Yamanaka's flow shop Kazekage-sama. How may I assist you today?" Naruto remarked as his Mistress, the Queen She-Bitch Chigusa the Evil, had commanded him say.

"I wish to learn this technique." Gaara pointed.

"Eh?" Ino and Naruto blinked at one another then followed the finger… to Naruto's chest. Naruto's rather prominent and female chest. "EH! W-what!"

"I recently saw your apprentice and his fiancée using this technique in a interesting manner. Matsuri-chan thought it would be appealing to try." Naruto's world cracked. Teach Gaara his first (And possibly most powerful) Jutsu? The one Ino, Tsunade, Sakura, and Ayame-chan had forbidden him to pass on? Just WHAT was that idiot and his girl doing that got… Oh. Oh my… But seriously, The Oiroke no Jutsu? Ino demanded him do the first thing someone asked him to do, he was almost certain she had meant herself but Gaara had appeared. Would she still make him? Would he dare risk not to and loose the chance to be with her? If he did and she didn't like it would she leave him anyway? He was so confused. This was all HIS fault, when he got a hold of...

"KONOHAMARU!"

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Hehe. I have so many ideas for the next one.

Next Chapter: Girly Men