A cool breeze hits my face, snapping me out of the daze I was in.
My lungs were burning as I slowly started to recognize my surroundings. I was in the woods behind the school.
My mind absconded into oblivion yet again until I reach the lake where Len and I first met.
"No," I mutter as my vision becomes hazy. I drop to my knees whilst salty tears stream down my cheeks into my mouth.
I grab my head, the pain seared through my soul, it cut through my heart, twisted my insides, it made me writhe in agony.
The thought of Len was unbearable, I had to stop it, anything was better than this agonizing pain.
I frantically plunge my hands into my pockets trying to find anything sharp enough to make incisions on my skin.
"Yes." I cry as I grasp the mechanical pencil in my hand like my life depended on it.
I pull the selves of my yellow blazer up and run the pencil along my underarm. It had no result at first, at least not until I began to add more pressure and pick up speed.
I jabbed, stabbed, and dragged the pencil along my skin at an alarming rate. Waiting for the pain to cease.
"Finally" I murmur.
A sigh of relief escapes my lips as the scarlet blood oozed out of my forearm. I shiver as a euphoria captivated my body holding me prisoner.
My surroundings turned dark while the blood-soaked my plaid skirt as I lost consciousness.
"drip drop drip drop" I'm awakened by rain pouring down on me, my arms feel sore and hurt, and my once bright plaid yellow skirt is now stained crimson with blood.
I glance at my surroundings and notice it's dark outside.
This was the first day of school I missed this year, but I don't really care. I won't be showing my face around school anytime soon especially after everything that happened today.
I drag myself to my feet and stumble through the woods trying to find my way out.
Everything was spinning I grab a tree stump to steady myself. Flinching as my arms made contact with the wood, I peer at the gashes on my arm, regretting it as soon as I done so.
Holding back bile I get up and make my way home again.
I enter the key into the door and saunter in. I instinctively go to my phone and stare at it dumbfounded. I had over 100 missed calls and 200+ text messages.
Thankfully only five were from my mom, but I understood why she was worried she was on a month long business trip, she only wanted to make sure I was okay. Why HE called I had no idea, that bastard had no right calling and texting me.
From: Len
To: Bunny
Rin I'm sorry. 7:03
I fucked up please take me back. 7:04
Rin I didn't mean to hurt you. 7:04
Rin please pick up my calls I care about you. 7:05
…
Come on Bunny let's just start over. 8:30
…
…..
...
"NO' I scream as I chuck my phone at the wall. Refusing to read any more of his lies.
I crawl back to my phone and sigh my phone wasn't broken my otter box sadly protected it.
I send a text to my mom letting her know I was alright and just forgot my phone home. With a few swift clicks, Len is also blocked. I gasp as I realize Gumi was still looking for me and she was where the majority of the calls and texts came from.
I text Gumi an apology and invite her over.
Rushing over to the bathroom I strip down, I turn the tap on and reach for the first aid package above my head in the cabinet.
I hated my life, why just why did I have to born?
This life was worthless we only lived to die, we only lived to get hurt, we lived to experience ceaseless pain.
As soon as things got better they only got worse, it was an endless cycle of despair, why continue it ?
The logical thing to do was to end this suffering.
I gritted my teeth realizing that I just finished bandaging my arm.
I jump in the shower surprised, the once calming effect the water had on me all disappeared.
Empty, I felt empty, the water quickly seeps through my bandages as I rush and finish my shower.
Re Bandaging my arm was the last thing I wanted to do. Luckily I finished before it came to that.
I get dressed in my gray leggings, wore my long sleeved black sweater and lay in bed awaiting Gumi's arrival.
Belly flopping on the couch I ponder my existence.
I was a joke, a short haired, flat chested, blonde bimbo. Why did I ever believe I had a chance with Len Kagamine?
-sigh- I cringe thinking about every mistake I made leading up to this exact moment.
I regretted meeting him, I regretted everything involving Len and me "UGH WHY" I scream.
When was I going to wake up from this nightmare, please why can't I just wake up already this wasn't funny
I stopped cutting once Len and I started dating thus making this all a dream; yes fake, this was all a fake dream.
Urging myself to an upright position I gingerly pinch my thighs to reassure myself this was all just a stupid dream.
When I felt the slight sting, the tears that I thought I had no more of came back proving their was no escaping this harsh reality.
-knock, knock, knock- "RIN OPEN UP NOW" I hear Gumi's raspy yet strong voice over my blaring thoughts.
Yeah, I was going to experience true hell...