"I promise i'll never leave you, I swear I love you so much"

"I could never get sick of you Rin" I hear lens putrid voice echoing through my head.

That fucking liar. Why did he have to promise?

"WHY DID HE HAVE TO FUCKING PROMISE" I screeched at the top of my lungs weeping in the corner of my room alone. Clenching tufts of my hair. I was having a relapse when I suddenly remembered everything Len said to me the night we officially agreed to be a couple for the first time. I was triggered by my old diary entries that I was reading through.

November 25, 2015.

Is this real?! Len told me he loved me for the first time. In fact, WE ARE DATING NOW! I'm dating my bestfriend. I'm dating the guy that saved me from ending my life. I even warned him that he would get bored of me, that I'm crazy and a lot to handle. He said he didn't care, that I was worth it and that he would never get sick of me. I started crying, while he held me in his arms in a warm embrace. I cried into his shoulder. He kissed my forehead to calm me down. I didn't think I was worthy of love. I didn't think I was deserving of it. How is this real? This is officially the best day of my life. I'm going to die smiling thanks to Len. I'll never wash my forehead again! -Rin.

I thought he actually loved me. I can't believe I fell for it. I can't believe I was so gullible. It was too good to be true. I even saw it coming.

When it was too late...that is.

It started with Len who was talking to me less and less. He stopped telling me he loved me suddenly. He also stopped wanting to hear my voice. He stopped calling me. Texted me less. This is only to name a few signs I failed to notice until now.

Wow, I was to blame. There were SO many signs. How did I fail to acknowledge them all?

I was so fucking stupid I wouldn't be heartbroken if I caught on earlier. I wouldn't have been caught by surprise. I wouldn't be starving myself if I wasn't oblivious to the world around me.

That's okay it's been 3 weeks since he has broken up with me i've lost 6 pounds already.

There was no way to fail with the pro ana diets if you followed them.

You were guaranteed satisfactory results if you just followed them to the tee that is.

I'm also growing out my hair It's finally a little past my shoulders. I'm planning on growing it out to be waist length.

Wow I was fueled by hate. Petty aren't I?