It had been over an hour since the Leftenant had confined herself to her bedroom. And Crane, being a man of honor and integrity, had spent the entire time berating himself for his actions that had caused her to retreat upstairs. Away from him.
It was his fault. Of that, he was positive. He was the one who had pushed the boundaries. He was the one who had pressed things further than she had been ready to go.
He had been reckless. Acting without proper thought or consideration of the consequences. And the end result was the Leftenant feeling the need to hide herself from him, and the actions they had both engaged in.
Crane loved his partner.
He had known it for some time. But hadn't quite realized the extent of that love until she disappeared and the possibility of life without her became a reality with each passing day.
And he could not believe he had cheapened that love for her by shouting it out so haphazardly in the middle of what had been a hasty act of which he had been the initiator.
He decided in that moment that he needed to speak with her. He needed to tell her how deeply regretful he was for ever taking her affection and trust for granted. For toying with something he valued so very much.
The stairs creaked when he made his way to her bedroom and he knocked gently on the door. Silence greeted him on the other end and he thought about leaving. But he knew his partner. And if she could push this incident to the back of her mind and never speak on it again, she would. And he couldn't allow that.
It wasn't until he knocked the second time that he heard her beyond the door frame.
"What is it, Crane?"
"Leftenant, please." He begged. "Please allow me to make amends for my actions downstairs."
The door creaked open and she stood on the other side. Her eyes puffy and red, presumably from crying.
"You don't need to make amends, Crane. I'm at fault just as much as you." She said as she turned around, sitting on her bed.
"You are wrong, Leftenant." He said, through choked speech. "The one thing I have always valued between the two of us is our trust of one another. And I took advantage of that tonight."
She looked down into her hands.
"You are still not yet healed from your ordeal. How barbaric of me to even attempt to…"
His words caught her attention and she looked up suddenly as he stopped, not knowing how to continue. Her mouth opened slightly, as if she were going to speak. But she didn't.
Silence filled her bedroom as he watched her draw within. Seemingly shutting him out, yet again, from her deepest thoughts.
"I am truly sorry, Leftenant." He said softly. "For crossing sacred boundaries with my actions… and my words."
When she looked up at him again, she saw tears forming in his eyes and looked away. This was too much right now… for her.
And Crane knew it.
Which was why he excused himself without a response in return and closed her door silently.
If Crane thought her walls had been up before, he knew they were about to get a whole lot denser now.
….
It was almost 11pm when he looked over at the clock on the wall. He wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting in the same position on the couch but figured it had been awhile.
Deafening silence had filled the house since he had left the Leftenant's bedroom. No stirs. No water running from a bath or shower.
Nothing.
He had poured himself a glass of whiskey to calm his nerves but his lips had barely touched the savory drink. His regrets preventing him from enjoying anything that evening. Only to wallow in self-pity over what he had deemed to be a huge misstep in his relationship with his best friend.
He was just about to get up from the couch when he heard it. A creak in the floorboard behind him which made him swivel suddenly around to see the Leftenant standing but six feet away from him.
He was about to speak but she beat him to it.
"Did you mean it?" She asked softly.
His brow furrowed as he stood up to face her. Not understanding her question, his mouth opened but no words came out.
She sighed heavily, her face full of trepidation. "Did you mean what you said…. On the couch earlier?"
And it was in that instant that he knew what she was asking. The one question that was on her mind. And why shouldn't it have been. It was the thing he regretted most. That he had professed his love to her in the heat of a very rushed, and ill thought out moment.
He took a few steps toward her but stopped when it seemed she preferred the distance.
"With every fiber of my being." He stated truthfully.
She looked away for a moment, appearing uncomfortable still with his declaration. But he pressed on.
"Those words deserved more, Leftenant." He said quietly. "More than what I allowed them to be when I declared them in that moment. Because they… you…. are so much more to me than some fleeting thought."
When she looked back up at him, he saw a tear run down her eye and cringed.
"You are my everything, Leftenant." He said, barely above a whisper.
She choked up a sob and put her head in her hands, wiping tears away from her face as he stood before her professing his love, for the second time again that evening. And as much as Abbie wanted to run away from it…. and from him. She didn't.
"I've noticed… you know?" She said, almost laughing. "A change in you since I've been back. A change in us."
He nodded, acknowledging the truth within her words.
"Jenny told me how you were when I was gone." She said, almost guiltily. And he looked away, reflecting back on his erratic behavior to find her when she had gone missing.
"When I was in the Catacombs alone. Scared. Mourning my life and everything and everyone in it. My thoughts always drifted back to you. To us." She said, allowing her voice to drift off.
"You are what I could not live without." She whispered.
Crane recoiled at her statement. Her admittance. For this was far unlike anything she had ever shared before. The walls, that he had tried for so long and hard to break down, were crumbling before him. And he was in shock.
"Abbie…." He breathed out, almost unconsciously.
"Crane, you were wrong upstairs." She said sternly. "I may not be fully yet healed from everything that happened to me but I also am not a victim. Nor do I do things that are unwanted."
"I've been craving you, your touch, your presence since I got back. Wanting to push you away one second and never let you go in the next. Afraid that the one thing that I longed for the most in the Catacombs is going to be taken away from me, yet again."
She stopped and closed her eyes for a moment, collecting herself from the sudden onset of emotions. .
"So on that couch… whatever that was…." She said. "It wasn't something that I didn't want."
He allowed her words to sink in and watched as she took a seat on the couch. The same couch where a few hours ago discoveries had been made about each other.
Boundaries tested… and pushed.
He sat beside her, and sighed heavily, not knowing where this left things between them.
"Leftenant….", he said gently. "Abbie…. Tell me what you need from me."
She smiled at him and paused. "Well for one, I'd like you to remind me to lock the front door when I come home from work."
Crane couldn't help but laugh at her statement. He was positive the morning's conversation with Miss Jenny was sure to be one of record.
"But also… I've had a really hard time sleeping." She said as she looked over at him. "Would you lay with me?"
Crane was stunned. And completely molten.
"I'd be honored." He said as she got up and began to walk up the stairs to her bedroom.
Him following closely behind.