The Hollow didn't come that night, but the nightmares did. Being chased into a corner by Ichigo and forced to give everything he was to the monster, only for curtains to lift and expose him to everyone that mattered, friend or foe. He was vulnerable, on display, but no one was more disgusted with him than Uryuu himself was. Uryuu cried out, reaching out a hand to someone, anyone, begging them to save him like Ichigo had taught him, but one by one they all left him. He was too vile of a creature to save; too sickening.

The ground broke beneath Uryuu, finally wresting him from Ichigo's tender but forceful touch that caused his body to betray him, and then he was falling. He flailed, looking for something to grab onto, anything to save him, but even the darkness didn't want him. Pressure filled him from every side, and for a short moment, Uryuu was sure he was going to explode into the nothing he should be.

And then he did.

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~

Uryuu awoke with a start as he hit the floor, a yelp slipping easily past his numb lips as he tried to untangle himself from the sweat-soaked covers he was wrapped in. After struggling for a few moments, Uryuu was almost certain he heard his window rattle, and could almost picture Ichigo standing outside, watching him and waiting for the opportunity to pounce again. The image sent a cold wave of fear through his entire body, stilling it for a long while as he tried to calm his erratic heartbeat. He kept repeating to himself the image wasn't real, but long after he had screwed his eyes shut and began rocking on the floor, still wrapped in blankets, the ingrained picture wouldn't leave, and followed him into the realm of sleep again.

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Ryuuken's POV)

"… What are you doing?"

The sound of his voice must have been more than enough to wake Uryuu from his fitful slumber, turning a startled gaze on him before sheepishly glancing down at exactly what position he was in. Even with as few times as Ryuuken had woken Uryuu up, never before had he found him asleep on the floor, half curled under the bed in a fetal position with blankets cocooned around him like a shield. Uryuu struggled, obviously trying to fix the covers so he could move, but it took a few moments, in which Ryuuken was more than willing to watch, his mind fresher now this morning than it had been last night.

Uryuu's movements were usually more fluid, but every motion he made now was jerky, like he was shaking, whether his body showed it visibly or not. There were dark circles under his eyes already, indications of not sleeping well enough, but strangely enough, there was fear in his eyes when he had first woken up and looked at him. Fear; something Uryuu had never shown him, due to Quincy Pride or whatever he wanted to call it. Pride, at the very least. What remained to be seen was what had caused it; Ryuuken's eyes narrowed slightly as Uryuu finally got the covers to part for him and stood up quickly, patting himself down. When Ryuuken was sure Uryuu was finished fidgeting with himself, he spoke.

"You called me 'father' last night."

Uryuu visibly flinched, which only piqued his interest again. Something was wrong here, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Uryuu's mouth opened, but shut just as quickly, as if he were frantically looking for the words to say. So Ryuuken settled on guiding the topic to a question he really did wonder about.

"Where were you these past few days?"

Again, Uryuu flinched, but when he finally raised his gaze to meet Ryuuken's, his eyes were defiant once more.

'Ah, now there's the look he's always got.'

"I was out with friends. Why do you care?"

"Out with friends?" Ryuuken snorted quietly, leaning against the door frame and folding his arms over his chest, all the while staring at Uryuu with a hard gaze, trying to catch the details of body language. "Unless it was some girlfriend I've yet to meet, I'm going to call bullshit."

Uryuu's entire face went red, and one of Ryuuken's eyebrows shot into his hairline. Well, he didn't think he'd been right, but he must have hit the mark. Odd, Uryuu had never been much of one for girls…

"S-so what if I was?"

Uryuu's answer was a stuttered, flustered mess, and Ryuuken had to wonder exactly what kind of girl it took to get Uryuu wrapped around their little finger. Regardless, it didn't really matter right now.

"If you were, then why are you back now?" Ryuuken's raised eyebrow caught Uryuu's sudden glance back at him, and for a long moment, they both shared a silent look, Ryuuken's cool and assessing gaze slipping over Uryuu's panicked, flustered one. "If you stayed one night, why are you back today? Did she kick you out? Are you impotent?"

"SHUT UP!"

Both of Ryuuken's eyebrows raised at Uryuu's outburst; his comment had been a little jabbing, yes, but it was in jest. To have that hit the mark as well…?

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Uryuu's POV)

"I don't want to talk about it! Just leave me alone!" Uryuu shouted, clenching his fists at his sides to hold back the trembling onset that was lurking over the horizon.

He couldn't deal with this; it was one thing to make Ryuuken think he was out with friends, another to make him think he was out with a girlfriend, but it was going way too far, way too fast, and he couldn't stop the sudden flow of anger and rage and –

"I said GET OUT!"

Ryuuken ducked neatly out of the way of a flying book, his shoulders shrugging in that frustratingly calm demeanor he always held, and it was everything Uryuu could do to hold back his tears. He wanted to tell him what had happened; he wanted so desperately to hear someone tell him things were going to be alright, but instead he picked up another book, poised to throw it at the man when sharp words cut over his form, leaving him standing there, cold.

"Worthless. Come see me if you can ever hold a conversation like a man, but I won't hold my breath."

The door slammed, and seconds later the book Uryuu had been holding in his hand dropped loudly to the floor. Every part of Uryuu seemed to shatter in that one instant, and before he could stop it he felt the cold tracks of tears on his cheeks, an unshakable force gripping his heart and squeezing it until there was nothing but dust left. His chest constricted and he dropped to his knees, wrapping his arms around himself.

… He was worthless. He was an abomination, something that didn't deserve to exist. He was a disgrace to every single Quincy who had ever lived, and he was a horrible person. He had let everything happen, hadn't done anything to stop Ichigo… hell, his body had enjoyed it; gotten off on it…

Uryuu's head hit the ground as he bunched over, trying and failing to quell the shudders that wracked painfully through his entire body.

Worthless.

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~

Uryuu's body hurt everywhere, his skin rubbed raw from the constant scrubbing he'd given himself last night and this morning. When he'd arrived home, he'd gone straight into the shower but the smell of sex had plagued him all through the night; his verbal battle with Ryuuken didn't help him any, either. After Ryuuken had left him, he'd gone back to the shower to repeat the scrub down he'd given himself, trying to wash away the shame and regain at least some dignity back. Unfortunately, it hadn't worked.

Uryuu was still in the process of drying his hair off when his cell phone rang, vibrating on the night stand and making him jump horribly, his heart spiking and racing even as his eyes glanced automatically toward the window. Thankfully, it was still locked and unmoved from its closed position. He gave a large sigh, trying to calm himself while berating himself at the same time, cursing quietly to the air at how stupid he was being. Once he had caught his breath back, he picked the phone up, closing his eyes and answering normally,

"Ishida. What do you need?"

There was a half a second pause before the phone dropped from his fingers, clattering to the floor.

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Ichigo's POV)

What the hell? All he could hear was a loud thump and clambering for a moment or two before Uryuu finally came back on the line. All he had said was 'what's up,' surely he didn't surprise Uryuu that much, did he? When Uryuu finally responded, however, Ichigo's face fell into a frown of worry. It was hard to pick up, but Uryuu didn't really sound like himself.

"H-hey Ichigo. Sorry about that, I… didn't expect you to call."

'Of course you didn't, if you had to drop the phone before you could answer.' Ichigo was really tempted to just speak his thoughts, but a niggling worry in the back of his head told him to bite his tongue. What was wrong with Uryuu? Why did he sound so…. demure?

"That's okay. I was wondering if you wanted to hang today; Orihime, Rukia and I were thinking about hitting the new ice cream shop that opened. You wanna come with us?"

There was another pause on the end of the line, but no loud noises, so the phone wasn't dropped again. Thank god, because that last one had already hurt his ear upon impact. Still, the hesitation was completely unlike Uryuu.

"I… don't think so. I've got studying to do today."

That was when all worry went out the window for Ichigo, and he sighed in frustration.

"Oh, come on, Uryuu. All you do is study; you lock yourself in your room every day you're not in school, and you'd probably lock yourself away in the library every day you are in school if you could. Get out a little, live life, have fun! Besides, just because you can't fight with us doesn't mean you're not still one of us. Give yourself a break; come hang out!"

It wasn't until Ichigo had finished his rant that he heard the ragged breathing from the other end of the line, and suddenly the worry for Uryuu was back. What the hell was going on with him today? It took Uryuu another few moments to answer, and Ichigo was about to ask Uryuu what was wrong when he finally heard from the other end of the line,

"… alright. I'll go. What time do you want me there?"

Ichigo breathed out a small sigh. Whatever was wrong, he'd figure it out in person. They set a time, and there was no hesitation when Uryuu hung up the phone on him. For a long while, Ichigo just sat on his bed, staring at the phone in his palm, wondering what had gotten into Uryuu before finally placing his thoughts aside and getting up to get a shower. He'd been sleeping way too much lately, so it was a good thing he was going out for a bit of fun.

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Uryuu's POV)

He stared at the phone, barely holding it in his hand like it was a viper poised to strike at any moment. Ichigo – Hollow – Ichigo wanted –demanded – wanted him to come – cum – come out with friends – to get him alone. The phone dropped from his hand and both hands flew to his head, fingers wrapping around his hair, digging into his scalp and trying to slow the distorted thoughts bouncing around frantically. His breathing was heavy, and he was almost sure he was about to hyperventilate, something he had never done before. Dizzily, Uryuu put his head between his legs and tried to concentrate.

It was just a day. Just one day. It was just Ichigo. Not Hollow. No more sex. Clothes would stay on. No more pain. No more pleasure. Just one day.

Uryuu continued to repeat broken sentences to himself, trying to make things seem better and calmer in his mind, but it only went so far. When he finally stood up, he was still slightly dizzy, but he was able to walk without holding onto the walls. He opted for a rather large change of clothes after glancing at himself in the mirror, grimacing at the welts and bruises left on his arms from the rope. He had just raised his wrist to rub it gently with his other hand when a shadow passed through the reflection on the mirror behind him.

With a gasp, Uryuu took up the first thing to his right, which just so happened to be the toilet bowl brush, flinging it behind him at what he was convinced was Ichigo, back to torment him some more. The only thing he did was end up feeling foolish and embarrassed, standing in the middle of his bathroom wielding a brush for the toilet. Tears prickled at the sides of his eyes, but Uryuu refused to let them fall; he refused to give in again.

Instead, he carefully replaced his makeshift sword and jogged back into his bedroom, taking apart his bed without a care for where the covers fell, taking the under sheet and jogging back to the bathroom to tuck the sheet over the mirror completely. When he was done, Uryuu took a small step back, admiring his work. He couldn't see his reflection at all anymore, which meant he couldn't see any rogue shadows that wanted to cause him harm through it either. Good.

With that, Uryuu moved back into his bedroom for a change of clothes; a long sleeve zip up shirt with a high collar, long pants, and sneakers. After a moment, Uryuu glanced at his hands only to grimace again, seeing the same burns and welts from the ropes left on his digits as well.

'Fine,' he thought, grabbing his gloves out of his dresser and putting them on before heading toward his backpack. 'I can deal with a little bit of heat. It's not even the middle of summer yet, anyway. I'll be fine.'

Into his backpack went an overstock supply of food from the kitchen because Ryuuken didn't seem to be in the house anymore. He had probably left for the hospital sometime during Uryuu's internal break down. That was fine with him. At least five water bottles, three bologna sandwiches, one turkey sandwich, two beef burritos, and seven granola bars joined three apples in his backpack. For a moment, Uryuu glanced at the apples, wondering why he even bothered to bring them, before his stomach growled.

After that, there was no thought process; he zipped up his backpack, grabbed another apple off the table, and after taking a bite, he walked out the door to meet up with Ichigo. The man who knew nothing of how he hurt Uryuu every day.

He was strong enough to handle one day.

He was wrong.