Breaking the boundaries Chapter 3

Warm bed, comfy doona, I slowly woke to find myself in my own bed. I had the pleasant floating feeling of waking up from a truly excellent dream but unable to remember any of it.

Then I sat bolt upright as I remembered the events from last night. I kissed Ric! Oh my god. How am I supposed to face him now?

I moved to get up and the room spun. I had forgotten about the bourbon.

Maybe he won't remember anything. Oh please, please don't remember anything. I put my hands together towards the ceiling, as if praying might erase what I had done last night in my drunken stupor.

Well I can't hide out here forever so I got ready and went downstairs to face the music. And found that no one was home but me. I also happened to be mega late to school.

I arrived at school just in time for second period. History, great. As I walked into the classroom I looked everywhere but towards the teachers desk.

"Hey Elena" Bonnie greeted "How are you? I know it can't be easy."

"Thanks Bonnie, it isn't. Actually can we talk after school? With Caroline too? I need some sisterly advice about..."

Ric chose this moment to speak up. "OK class, enough with the chit chat. Today we will be talking about the civil war and the impact it had on small southern towns. Not quite unlike ourselves"

History passed in a slow blur of sneaking glances at Ric to find he was ignoring me completely. I honestly didn't hear a thing he said and was extremely relieved to hear the bell ring to signal the end of class.

However I wasn't to be so lucky. "Elena! Can you please stay after class?"

I slumped, so close. Bonnie looked back at me, raising her eyebrows.

"Bonnie you can go ahead, I've got this."

I stood in front of Ric, looking at the ground, waiting for him to make the first move.

He put a hand under my chin and raised my eyes to meet his. "Elena, I know you told me to forget everything that happened last night, but that is never going to happen while you are acting as though there is a giant elephant in the room. Initially I agreed with you, but you seem unable to do so yourself. I can handle many things, but I can't lose you too. Not after everything we have been through these past few days."

I felt myself relax and realised just how unfair I had been on him."I'm so sorry Ric. I didn't mean to shut you out. You have been here for me and I want to be there for you too. I'm just so embarrassed." I could hardly look him in the eye again.

"Elena, there is nothing to be embarrassed about. Nothing happened, OK?"

"OK" I meekly replied.

"Now I fully expect you to be home when I get there and we are eating together tonight, as a family. Tell Jeremy it is not optional. If we want to recover, family night definitely has to make a comeback."

I left with a smile and the rest of the day passed without guilt or shame. Ric had decided to forget about it, actually forget and not avoid. His maturity in handling the situation seemed to give weight to his point. He was actively picking up the father role in my life, and definitely not angling for a romantic one.

Wasn't that part of my life complicated enough? I have a missing boyfriend and kissed my boyfriends brother. Which reminds me that I really do have to talk to Damon as well.

I met with Bonnie and Caroline at a cafe in town. Caroline ran at me and gave me a bone crushing hug. "Elena! Oh, I've missed you!" Caroline's voice dropped as if suddenly remembering that I might have things on my mind. "Are you doing alright? You seem to be holding up pretty well all things considering."

"Well, yes and no. I need to keep busy, which is good because I also need to find Stefan."

The girls shot each other furtive glances that I pretended not to notice.

"I know that he isn't dead" I continued. "He can't be. Klaus must have taken him somewhere. I need you guys to help me find him."

"Of course will help you" said Caroline, glancing at Bonnie. "Won't we Bonnie?"

"Of course. We're best friends, we will do anything that you need us to."

I entered the boarding house cautiously, looking for Damon. I needed his information and his help if I ever wanted to get Stefan back.

"Damon, I need your help" I sighed.

He looked up from his book, pretending like he hadn't know I was there all along. "Oh, If only I had a dollar..." He waggled his eyebrows at me. "Just couldn't stay away huh? You know I have Andie now right? But I'm sure she wouldn't mind sharing" he leered.

"Uggh, Damon you are disgusting. No, I want to find Stefan. I need your help and you need mine. I know you're feeling guilty about him going to save your life. You have to help me find him."

"I don't have to do anything Elena. That is the beauty of being me. No rules and all." He paused. "And what makes you believe that I need your help? I don't need your help Elena."

"OK, maybe you don't need my help, but I'm going to give it to you anyway. I know you're looking for him. Have you found anything yet?"

He paused dramatically and fell into the couch. "Fine, fine. Yes, I'm looking for him. No I haven't found him. Are you sure you want him back? You have never known the ripper Stefan and from what Katherine said, Klaus forced him right over the edge."

I gasped. "Of course I want him back Damon! What kind of a question is that anyway? I'm not giving up" I said indignantly.

"Well then, you're not going to like what I have to say. I have been tracking them. They are leaving a deluge of bodies all over the country. I have seen it with my own eyes."

"Klaus is killing openly? I thought he was trying to stay hidden."

"Not just Klaus. My brother has a certain style that is instantly recognisable. He is even admired for it, by some."

I sat down, hard, on the couch. No, not Stefan. But it wasn't his fault. Klaus had made him do these things." He wasn't in his right mind, if I could just get him home..."

"No, Elena. You are not going anywhere near him. Have your listened to anything I have said. He is gone. He is killing. Lots and lots of people. He is a ripper. Do you even remember the last time he got just a taste of human blood?" He looked at me pointedly. "I will get him back Elena, and once I have him all locked up so that he can't chomp on you, I will let you visit."

I left after that. I really don't know how I'm feeling. There is just so much to comprehend. I guess my state is fairly close to shock. All sensations and emotions swirling in my head without the necessary higher brain function necessary to process them.

I walked into the house to a wonderful sight. Ric and Jeremy were cooking in the kitchen together, smiling even occasionally laughing. Of course Jeremy still had that haunted look about his eyes and Ric had a glass of whiskey in his hand but this was the closest to normal we had been in days.

I felt my body relax and I went over and gave Jeremy a full body hug. He held me tight, then looked down at me. "You know, you can't just show up late to family night. There will be consequences" he chuckled.

He held me with one hand and tickled me under the ribs with the other. I was laughing so hard I almost cried. "Jeremy! Let go of me!"

He slung me over his shoulder and took both hands off me. I swung there precariously, watching the ground swing towards me then away again. "Put me down NOW Jeremy" I laughed.

"You said to let go! How am I supposed to put you down without holding you?" He reluctantly placed me back on the ground.

I turned to Ric who was still cooking with flour on his cheek and a massive grin across his face.

For the first time I felt like we could recover. We could come back from this. This is my family now and we have to be there for each other.

Dinner was fun and light hearted, no one willing to bring up all the darkness that plagued our lives. We were a normal family, having a normal dinner.

Jeremy went upstairs to do his homework while Ric and I started on the dishes.

"How was your day?" he asked as he passed me a soapy tumbler to dry.

"I'd rather not talk about it. We are having such a good night." A beat passed in silence before I spoke again.

"It's Stefan. Damon has been tracking him and.."

"Oh, you know." He sounded resigned.

"I know what? What do you know that you're not telling me?" I demanded.

"That Stefan has gone off the rails. That Damon thinks it will be decades before he can recover from this even if he stops now" he mumbled softly, not looking at me.

I slumped against the kitchen counter, dishes forgotten. "Decades? What are you talking about? He's only been gone a few days. How do you know all this? Why haven't you told me anything?"

"I'm both a vampire hunter and Damon's best friend Elena. I have been helping him. Quite honestly I didn't think you could handle any more right now than what has already been dumped on you."

I stood up to my fullest height and stared him down. "I can handle it Ric. I can handle almost anything. I think that I have proven that. "

" I'm sorry, I should have told you but I just thought you had enough to deal with at the moment, with Jenna, John and even Damon. I know how rough you have it and I just couldn't add to it."

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. He was right. I did have enough to deal with and this could be that final straw that I just couldn't. His eyes spoke volumes as he looked at me with regret, apologies and pity? "I don't need your pity Ric" I said angrily, wiping my eyes hurriedly with the back of my hand.

He didn't say anything, he just pulled me into a fierce hug and let me pretend that I wasn't once again crying into his shirt. I felt so safe just then, being held as if I could cry away my problems and forget the world existed beyond this comforting wall of muscle. He seemed to understand. It wasn't awkward at all. I continued to cry while he rubbed soothing circles on my back.

"I'm sorry" I mumbled against his chest.

"What? What for?"

"You're hurting just as much as I am, yet I'm the one being comforted."

He pulled back slightly and looked down at me. "Elena, I'm going to tell you a little secret about men. We can never admit to being weak or needy, we can't cry, we have to stand strong. A man takes his comfort in comforting you. A need to be needed, a pretence that our touch is protecting you, making you feel safe. It feeds our illusions that we look after you, when in reality I needed this hug as much as you did. The only way to ease pain is through the touch of a woman. That or hard liquor."

I let out a soggy chuckle as he released me. "I'm pretty sure that you have mastered the art of drinking away your sorrows. But if you ever need to feel all protector-y, you know where to find me. And, I happen to like your hugs"

He gently swept my hair behind my ears and cradled my face in his hands. The gesture was so intimate and yet so innocent. I could feel a changing dynamic, I just couldn't define it. I loved this man, of that I was sure. I just didn't know in what capacity. A father? Not quite. A friend? Definitely. A lover? No. My feelings weren't romantic, despite that kiss. And the fact that he was hot. It was more a sense of belonging to him, like he was the chief of my tribe, the man of my house. I did feel protected and loved.

"Alaric?"

"Yes Elena?"

"It's not an illusion. You do protect me. You make me feel safe and loved. Not a small feat in this vampire world either" I smiled.

His face broke out in a huge smile that was infectious. "Thank you Elena. You have no idea how much that means to me."

We both went to bed happy that night, relaxed and comfortable in the knowledge that we were truly needed by the other.