"In the arms of the angel
fly away from here
from this dark cold hotel room
and the endlessness that you fear
you are pulled from the wreckage
of your silent reverie
you're in the arms of the angel
may you find some comfort here"

(Angel - Sarah McLachlan)

Title: Living Life

September 18th, 2010

Time was passing through my fingers like the sand from First Beach. I had no grasp over it and it was a scary feeling. I had no idea where the last year went, but man, did it fly by. Jake and I have been married for nearly two years and Daniel just turned a year old. I had just turned 23 and I did not feel like it at all. My life was so different than how I expected it to be. My little baby was growing up and I hated it. I wish that I could keep him small forever and ever. He started teething, crawling, babbling, and even walking. I couldn't believe how much he had grown in just a year. Anytime we were in town, people would ask how old he was and give me an incredulous look when I answered. He was definitely in the top of his chart for height and weight. He loves getting into anything that he possibly can and he is so mischievous. He gives these big eyes when he knows he's caught and it makes me give in every time! Daniel and Sarah loved playing together and it was the cutest thing I had ever seen. I already know that he will be my little baby forever.

It was hard to believe that we were having his first birthday party today. Emily and I had planned and set up everything in the theme of a dinosaur party. Daniel loved dinosaurs and we had tons of books on them already. I could see how he was so much like Jake in just his one year of life. It was simply beautiful to see his father come out in him.

I sighed as I looked over the masterpiece we created in the infamous clearing where we have all of our events. I felt a surge of pride course through me at the sight of the streamers, balloons, picnic tables, play area, and cake. Dinosaurs covered everything that we used to decorate and it was an odd sight for the reservation. Emily's hand on my shoulder startled me as she came up behind me. I turned to face my best friend and she met me with a smile.

"He has got to be the most spoiled and happy one year old I know." Emily mused with laughter as she looked over all the decorations we put up. I grinned at her and shrugged my shoulder.

"It doesn't feel like spoiling when I'm doing it, but I think that's a mom thing." My heart still fluttered at the word mom and I smiled again to myself.

"Maybe I'll understand the feeling in nine months." Emily shrugged before walking towards the clearing. I laughed at my crazy best friend and began to follow her until I froze in my place. The meaning behind her words hit me and I felt my breath hitch in my throat.

"Em…" I stammered out her name as the realization kept sinking further and further into my being. She turned extremely slow and dramatic like towards me with a huge smile plastered onto her face.

"Coming to a rez near you in June 2011."

"Emily!" I couldn't control the excited scream that left me as I closed the distance between us, wrapping Emily into a huge hug. I couldn't help the tears that fell from my eyes at my happiness for my best friend. I could tell Emily was crying too and it only made me cry harder. "I'm so happy for you and Sam!" I smiled at her finally after we pulled apart. Emily wiped the tears from her eyes and gave me a smile in return.

"You lost the bet." She smirked after a moment. I rolled my eyes with amusement.

"I lost that a long time ago. Jake and I had our own bet going on, to tell you the truth." I returned her smirk with my own sassiness. Emily's eyes widened as she raised an eyebrow towards me.

"Oh really?" She asked; her voice layered with sarcasm. I stuck my tongue out to her in response.

"Jake said that you and Sam would have a baby by 2012 and I said you would have one by 2011. I am just so sad to break the news to him that I won." Emily chuckled and rolled her eyes.

"You two couldn't be any more in love if you tried. It's gross really." She tried to sound disgusted, but I could see the happiness in her face. We exchanged a smile before it was time for the party to start. Guests started coming from left and right. It was nice to see everyone all at one time since it didn't happen like that too often anymore. Everyone was busy with their own lives and trying to accomplish their own goals, but parties were always a time for reconciling with family. Renee was disappointed that she couldn't afford to come out, but she assured me a million times that she would make it out for Christmas. It wasn't as hard to not have her here for his birthday as it was for his birth, but I would be happy to see her regardless. I knew I wasn't the only one excited for her to come out either; Charlie would be smitten.

Everyone was enjoying each others presence as music from Billy's truck was playing; adding to the entertainment. It seemed like all the men were on their second helping of hamburgers and hot dogs while the women were devouring the fruit punch. It was such a wonderful feeling to have everyone together.

I couldn't control my smile as my two favorite men in the entire world came walking towards me. Daniel looked adorable in his shirt that had a dinosaur on it that said birthday boy. He had little brown moccasins to go with it too. It never ceased to make my heart happy to see Jake with his son. He is such a wonderful father and loves that little boy to pieces. Jake greeted me with a gentle kiss and handed me the birthday boy. One thing I wouldn't get over is how much weight babies gain during their first year. I kissed his chubby cheeks as we moved to start celebrating his life.

It felt like a fairytale. The day had passed by so quickly, but I felt like I was seeing everything in slow motion. We had opened presents together as a family. Daniel absolutely loved the bright red fire truck that Quil got him. Paul and Rachel got him a jumbo puzzle book. Emily and Sam had bought him a bouncing Tigger. Charlie's gift warmed my heart since he got him a story book that he recorded himself reading out loud. Daniel didn't get a lot of gifts, but it still meant so much to me that my family cared about him so much. I was thankful for Charlie taking pictures the entire time on my camera because some of the faces he made were priceless.

Not long after opening his presents, it was time to have cake and ice cream. I had made Daniel his very own small vanilla cake in the shape of a dinosaur. Baking was never my thing, but I was super proud of how good this cake came out! It wouldn't make a difference to him, but to me, it made all of the difference.

After everyone had their share of cake and ice cream, we all spent time together; talking, laughing, and listening to music. My heart was full of happiness at how successful my son's first birthday party was. Jake surprised me as he came up behind my chair and whispered in my ear.

"Can I have this dance with my beautiful wife and son?" He said and I felt the chills run down my spine. It was crazy that he could still bring me butterflies. I smiled at him and nodded as I stood with Daniel in my arms.

"Let's go dance with Daddy." I murmured to him and he giggled in response. We headed out to the small little opening in the middle of our family and began to dance together as a family. I rested my head on Jake's chest while Daniel rested his on mine. It wasn't long before the birthday boy was sleeping peacefully as Jake and I kept swaying to the beat of a country lullaby.

Bliss.

Two Years and Some Months Later

November 13th, 2011

It was that time on the Rez again where everyone was excited for the upcoming weeks. Thanksgiving was coming and you would be oblivious if you couldn't feel the excitement from nearly everyone. It was a lovely holiday where we all got together to eat, share stories, and have a bon fire. It didn't matter that it wasn't for another week and a half, everyone acted like it was tomorrow. It was a tradition that I was happy to participate in every year.

It was crazy to think that I was now 24 years old, the mother to a 2 year old, married for 3 years, and happier than ever. It was crazy how much things had changed in the last year. I supported Emily throughout her pregnancy just as much as she had supported me through mine. Daniel and I would go with her to almost every doctor's appointment and I threw her a surprise baby shower. My perfect Godson was born on June 11th, 2011 at 2:57 in the afternoon. I was there for every second of the delivery of Samuel Uley Jr into the world. He was one of the most perfect little babies I had ever seen and he was the spitting image of Sam. It made me miss how little Daniel was. Now, my son was running everywhere and talking incredibly well for his age. It might have sprung a little baby fever in me, but I was happy with my little family for the time being.

The birth of Sam Jr wasn't the only surprise that had come about in the last year. A certain couple had gotten pregnant with their second child; Paul and Rachel. They were both thrilled as was everyone. Billy was even excited since this baby was coming from their marriage. There were only happy times now and in the future for as far as all of us could see.

My phone ringing brought me out of my thoughts as I leaned across the couch to answer it.

"Hello?" I asked after a moment of trying to figure out the number on the screen.

"Bella!" I recognized Jessica's exuberant voice on the other side of the phone and smiled. It had been a long time since I had heard from her, so it was a nice surprise.

"Hey Jess, how are you?" I asked while looking to make sure Daniel was still napping in his play pin. He was still sound asleep.

"I'm wonderful! I'm graduating from the university in May! Can you believe it?" She was nearly shrieking with her excitement, but I didn't mind.

"Wow, that's awesome Jess. I'm super proud of you." I said with genuine happiness for her. That meant Angela, Ben, and Eric would also be graduating this year. Man, how time flies.

"Well, I was calling because I wanted to see if you and Jake would want to meet up in Port Angeles with Mike, Angela, Ben, Tyler, Eric, and me? You know, just a small get together to see how everyone has been since it's been a while." Jessica sounded slightly nervous in asking, but I bet it was because she would hope I wouldn't say no.

"Sure, when are you planning that?"

"Later today? Around 1? We all seemed to be available then. Can you make it?" I could hear the excitement in her voice. I pondered over it all for a moment.

"Yeah, Jake and I can be there. He gets off early today." I told her. She squealed and finished telling me where we were all going to meet. I couldn't help to feel the excitement bubbling inside as well. It had been a long time since I had seen any of them. I had quit Newton's awhile ago to stay home with Daniel. I dialed Emily and she answered on the second ring.

"Hey girly girl." She answered into the phone. I laughed at my best friend. She didn't sound tired at all for having a 5 month old baby.

"Hey Em, I have a favor to ask. Jake and I are going to go to Port Angeles to meet up with some of my old high school buddies around 1. I was wondering if you would mind watching Daniel? He's down for a nap right now, so he should be peachy around 1." I asked tentatively. Emily laughed at my use of the word 'peachy'.

"Sure. Bring him over before you guys leave." I smiled into the phone as we hung up. It was a day for straying away from the norm and I was excited.

When Jake came home from work, I told him of the plan and he was excited for a break. Before long, we were dropping a happy Daniel off at Emily's. I kissed my son's head as before he ran to the toy box in their living room. I smiled at Emily once more and gave her a hug before we were off towards Port Angeles.

"This was a bit unexpected, huh?" Jake asked with a smile as we drove quietly towards Port Angeles.

"You could say that, but it'll be nice to catch up with everyone." I sighed happily as I watched the scenery float by. Jake held my hand as we continued our ride in silence. It didn't take too long before we were at the little hole in the wall restaurant Jessica suggested to meet at. It was quaint and decorated with antique pictures.

"Bella!" Jessica called out happily as she motioned for us to come to the table they were all sitting at in the back. I couldn't contain my smile as I greeted my old friends. I was sincerely happy to see them and catch up. Even if they don't realize it, high school was a lot more enjoyable with them being there.

Everyone still looked the same for the most part, except there was a more grown up essence to everyone. Eric and Tyler both grew beards while Angela had gotten a tattoo. Everyone had excitement buzzing around them with the good news of their graduation coming up in a few months.

"Bella, show us a picture of your son now!" Angela squealed excitedly. I laughed and passed around my phone, which had a picture of Daniel and Jake sleeping on the front screen.

"I can't believe this is our lives now." Tyler murmured while shaking his head.

"Who would have thought we'd all be where we are now?" Eric laughed incredulously while passing my phone back to me.

"I'm just glad we're all happy. No more sadness or pain for any of us." Angela said with a gentle smile. I returned it honestly. It truly was a relief to be this happy.

"What's even more exciting is that you guys are all so close to graduating. I'm proud of you all." I received smiles from my friends from my words of encouragement. We continued to munch on appetizers and carry on friendly banter back and forward for a while. My phone ringing interrupted the fun, but I answered immediately once I saw it was Emily.

"Hey Em, what's up?" I asked while the others continued talking quietly. There was nothing but silence on the other side of the phone. "Emily, is everything okay?" I asked once more with a more concern than before.

"No. It's Daniel. Something happened." Emily's voice was completely frenzied and I immediately knew the seriousness of the situation.

Jake heard the entire conversation thanks to his enhanced hearing and was already moving by the time I looked at him. It was all I could do to keep from leaping over everyone in the booth and flying back to La Push.

"I'm sorry guys, I have to go. Something happened at home." I rushed out while Jake was scooting out of the booth. God, I'd push him out of the way if I was strong enough.

"It's okay." Jessica murmured in understanding.

"Keep us updated." Ben said with a nod as Jake and I ran out of the restaurant. It was like another force took over my being. All I knew was that I needed to get to my son. I began frantically calling Emily for more information, but I couldn't get an answer.

"Dammit! Dammit! Dammit! Answer your phone!" I cried while bashing my fists to the dash. Jake grabbed one of my hands and began to rub soothing circles into the back of my palm, but it was useless. Something happened to my baby and there was no calming me, not till I knew he was okay.

Jake's phone began ringing and he answered it. I could see the strained look on his face as the conversation went one sided. He mumbled out an answer and pressed his foot harder on the gas.

"Who was that?" My voice was shaking with my nerves.

"Sam. He said to meet them at the hospital."

My stomach lurched to my feet as we pulled up to the hospital in Forks. I ran through the emergency room doors like a mad woman, which I practically was. I unintentionally shouted at the woman behind the desk and she politely directed me towards where Emily and Sam were waiting.

I stopped in my tracks when I saw Emily. Her shirt was covered in blood. I felt the world become dizzy for a moment before I snapped myself back into reality. Her face was tear-stained and she was shaking terribly. With all the force I could muster, I will my feet to continue running towards her and Sam, with Jake close behind.

"I'm s-s-so sorry." Emily choked out through her panicked crying when I reached her. She was looking at her shaking hands, but I shook her shoulders till she looked at me. Jake was trying to talk to Sam as calmly as he could.

"Emily, what happened? Where's Daniel?" I don't know how I could form coherent sentences through the worry, but the outer body force was controlling everything. Emily's lips quivered as she sank to her knees and began to cry harder. Sam came over to her instantly and wrapped his arms around her affectionately. I sank to my knees with her and shook her shoulders a bit harder, regardless of Sam's hold on her. "Emily! Tell me what happened to my son!" I cried out hysterically.

"H-he was p-playing out-si-de when I heard h-im scream…" Emily managed to get out between her sobs. Tears were rolling down my face and my anger was building. I need to know what happened to him. All of my rationality was out the window at this point. I decided against slapping Emily for a straight answer and ran my hand through my hair.

I was almost combusting with my worry when I heard another sob, but this one wasn't from Emily. My head snapped up and looked at Jake. He was unlike how I had ever seen him before. Tears were rolling out of his eyes freely as he choked on his sobs. I rushed to where he sat on the floor and grabbed his hands.

"Jake, do you know what happened?" I murmured softly, stroking his cheek and making him look at me. His face broke my heart in two.

"He's gone…"

My body had a mind of its own at the point. I ran through the doors into the makeshift rooms separated by curtains. I could hear nurses telling me that I couldn't be back there. The hell I couldn't. I need to find my son. Frantically, I looked into each room until I reached the end where a dozen doctors and nurses were surrounding a bed. I pushed my way through them until I could see the person lying on the bed. My heart shattered into a thousand pieces in that very moment.

My precious baby was lying on the bed, covered with scratches and deep gashes. He looked nothing like the happy baby I had left this morning. His little eyes were closed and his chest wasn't moving. I climbed over him and clutched him to my chest, sobbing hysterically. I stroked his dark hair, not caring that blood was getting all over me. The entire world stopped spinning in that very moment. My baby was gone. My life was taken from me. My entire world was over.

Nothing would ever be the same.

Whoa.

I'm sorry guys.

This has been part of the plan for a long time, and it only gets worse.

Another apology on another note! I'm sorry for not updating in so long! I've been so busy with college and work. Classes just ended so hopefully I can start writing more! I'd love some reviews for encouragement! Love you stinkers!

Love,

GVE