A/N: Hi Guys, thanks for reading.
Extra thanks for my brand-new Beta Someryn!
As always, TVD belongs to LJ Smith and the CW, not me!
Breaking the Boundaries Chapter 8
So, I had sex with Ric. Where he told me he thinks he might love me.
I know it is stupid to obsess over these things, but I can't help it. Isn't there some kind of rule that anything a guy says while he is on top of you doesn't count?
He left me about an hour ago to do some mysterious vampire business with Damon. If I wasn't so preoccupied with my own thoughts I would have argued that I should be included in all said vampire business that involved Damon, especially if it was about Stefan.
We still have to have "the talk". Ric was very adamant that we would be doing exactly that once he got home. I honestly do want to talk all these things through with him and work out our future, but I am scared that he doesn't see a joint "Elena and Alaric forever" future. There are so many obstacles in our way, things I don't even want to think about, let alone talk about.
What if he gets home and says "Thanks Elena, today was fun. How about I just be your dad again now and forget this ever happened"?
What if he is way too serious? What if he wants to get married? I'm too young to settle down right now, but Ric is at perfect 'settling down' age.
What if he's right about Damon and he kills Ric for sleeping with me? He wouldn't even come back to life without his ring.
The mess of what ifs and possible worst case scenarios swirled around in my head, before a useful thought finally came to me.
I could give Ric back his ring! John had left it for me, but I couldn't wear it. Then I would feel a lot safer when he went off with Damon.
Jeremy and I had dinner almost ready when Ric got home that night. Fortunately for us, Jer seemed to be completely oblivious to what was going on with us. He was just happy to not be working at the Grill.
"Hey Ric, what's up?" greeted Jeremy as he came through the door.
"Oh you know, the usual. Hunting vampires, slaying dragons," Ric quipped back. "How's the Grill treating you? Learning how to make an honest living? Patriotic duty, etcetera."
I loved it when these two got into it like this. It made me feel at home. Like there weren't monsters hiding under all our beds.
Jeremy remained blissfully ignorant and jovial throughout dinner before he commandeered the lounge room to play some racing game. I started on the dishes while Ric cleared the rest of the table.
I had my hands in the water and was soaping up a plate when I felt his arms go around my waist from behind. I stiffened. Jeremy was just there! What was he thinking?
He removed his hands. "Elena, what's wrong?" he demanded. He looked like someone had kicked his puppy. I think I could rule out the "he wants to forget it ever happened" scenario.
I sighed. This conversation was not going to be fun. "Right now? It's Jeremy. He's in the next room! What if he sees something?"
"You're right," he acknowledged. "I think you should finish up in here, then we should go for a walk, get out of the house. Go somewhere that we are less likely to be overheard." He lowered his voice seductively. "Somewhere we can make out without being seen." He winked at me and joined Jeremy in his game as I tidied the kitchen.
Well. Not sure how to react to that one. I could feel excitement building up though, as much as I wanted to put a stopper on it all until I knew where he stood. I wanted to run through the woods naked screaming, "He loves me!" like the teenage girl that I was.
But this was my life and nothing ever went the way I planned. I just had to hurry up with the stupid dishes!
I hurried into the lounge. "Ric, you ready to go?" I asked excitedly. Too excitedly. Jeremy looked up in curiosity but thankfully didn't ask.
As we left the house I went to turn right on the footpath, but Ric held my arm to stop me.
"I thought we were going for a walk!" I exclaimed as he beeped open his car and bundled me in.
"We were, but then I remembered this is Mystic Falls and how many things go bump in the night here." True. I couldn't argue against his point, but now there was an awkward silence that reminded me of the last time we were in the car together.
"So," I began awkwardly, "I don't really know what to say. I don't know what you want from me and what I can give to you." I was rambling. I could hear myself but couldn't stop the words coming out of my mouth.
"Well," he said slowly, "there are a lot of decisions we have to make, and we have to make them tonight. The first question," he looked at me pleadingly, "is what do you want to give me? If you want nothing to do with me then there really isn't anything to say or anything I can do."
"No!" I exclaimed, slightly louder than I had intended." I don't want nothing to do with you. I don't want to lose you." He started to pull over. "Why are we stopping, we're literally in the middle of nowhere."
He pulled the car to a complete stop, turned it off and undid his seatbelt. "I wanted to kiss you and I couldn't multitask," he murmured as he leant across the console towards me.
When I faced him I saw love and affection in his eyes. There was no hesitancy, no regret. I launched myself at him so hard our teeth clanged together.
"Ow," he said, rubbing his mouth. "I'll give you ten points for enthusiasm but I'll have to dock a few for execution."
I grimaced. Way to come off as an inexperienced teenager, Elena. I wanted to slap myself and then sink into the ground.
"Hey," he said softly, lifting my chin and sweeping the hair I was hiding behind off my face. He leant in slowly and touched my lips to his softly. Just as slowly, I responded until our innocent little peck turned into a soft and languid dance between tongues.
He drew back gently. "Now that we have established that neither one of us is repulsed by the other-" I giggled and punched him lightly - "I think we need to discuss what we want to do."
"I want to be with you," I rushed out.
He smiled. "I'm glad. However, that does complicate things somewhat. You do realise we can't have a normal relationship, right? I broke the law sleeping with you this afternoon. If anyone finds out, I will go to jail and you will be left without a parent or a boyfriend."
I hadn't thought about that. "But I'm nearly eighteen. In fact, my birthday is in less than a week. I don't think it counts."
"Oh, it counts. Age is age and I wasn't exactly thinking as clearly as I should have been today. In fact, I could have been accused of thinking with the other head" he explained. He looked pretty sheepish.
I giggled. "I never thought I would hear you talking like that." I leaned over towards him and whispered, "It's kinda sexy."
He looked slightly mollified at that. "Well the age thing isn't the only problem. I would lose my job for publicly dating a student, especially one that I was living with. Luckily, I don't have technical guardianship over you and Jeremy or it would be another thing to deal with." He paused. "Elena, there are so many reasons that we shouldn't be together. Are you sure that you can handle this? I have so much baggage." His words were saying no, but his eyes were begging for a yes.
I looked into his eyes and saw the tiniest bit of hope drowning in all the sorrow. Why couldn't he just let us be together? We could hide it for a bit until all those other things didn't matter anymore.
"Ric, I want to be with you. I don't care if we have to be secretive about it for a year. I can see a future for us, a life," my voiced dropped so it was almost inaudible, "kids."
He looked at me with so much hope and love for a minute before his face fell once again. "Elena, I was married to your mother."
Oh my god. Isobel. I could feel the panic rising within me. I would never have forgotten about her, I never could. But how could I have forgotten that they were married? How would that look if we got married one day? "I'm sorry your first wife died, but at least you got to marry her daughter!"
The panic I was feeling was reflected in his eyes. "I'm so sorry, I shouldn't have brought it up." Panic escalating now. "I'm such an idiot. I should have known that you hadn't thought about it. That you wouldn't want to be with me, after having been with her."
He was looking like shit. He had basically given up on any idea of us ever working.
"Hold on a minute," I tried to catch my breath. "Who said I didn't want to be with you? I said I did only a minute or two ago. I had just temporarily forgotten about the Isobel connection. There are going to be things that we have to deal with that aren't going to happen overnight." I couldn't deal with this right now. "In the words of Scarlett, I'll think about it tomorrow. Right now, I just need you."
Relief and tentative hope was seeping into his features and his voice. "You'll put off thinking about it, just like that?" he asked incredulously.
"No, I will still think about it. But there are trials and tribulations in any relationship, we just happen to have more than usual. Before you start getting all hopeful however, you are going to have to think about ways to deal with my past relationships too. Everyone has baggage and between us, I think we've exceeded the allowed limit."
He sobered slightly at that, no doubt thinking about the Stefan situation.
"If I may make a suggestion," I interrupted his musings, "I think we should go home and sleep on it. Together. In my bed. We know we don't want this to end and we know we have to keep it a secret for now. We can work the rest out later, or along the way."
"Elena, I agree with the sleeping on it part, but we can't have sex. I can't consciously break the law. It's bad enough that we did it once."
I didn't completely agree, since no one would ever know, but if he felt strongly about it then I would respect his wishes.
As I lay in bed that night, I felt safe and warm, protected in the embrace of my top-secret, fully clothed boyfriend.