Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry for taking so long in getting this chapter posted! I was in summer school and am finally free at last! HOORAY! I'm so excited for you guys to read what's to come and thank you all for reading my story! 3 Please leave a review and tell me what you think! I would love some feedback! :) Also, I know this wayyy past do, but I would like to give a big thank you to watermelonsarerad and atypicaldayoffanfiction2 (my lovely cuzzie cuz). You both have been such a big help to my story and I can't thank you enough! Oh and read their stories because their pretty great! Okay, enjoy!
I fade in and out of consciousness. I can't tell night from day and it feels like I've been asleep for years.
All I want to do is stay locked up in the dark subconscious of my mind, where everything is quiet and peaceful. I didn't want to face the world, take on the responsibility that was thrust upon my shoulders. Everything could go to shit for all I cared. Nothing was worse than waking up and facing the pain.
Holly. I hear a voice say.
Holly. Leave me alone, I want to reply back, but I can't move my lips to form the words.
Holly... The voice fades away as I let the blackness pull me deeper into the abyss of my mind once more.
It was a late December afternoon. The flames flickered in the fireplace, warming up the cold air inside the house. Snowflakes skidded off the windows, piling up on the ground looking powdery soft. I sipped my hot cocoa, holding the warm cup in my hands and breathed in the chocolaty goodness.
I turned away from the winter wonderland view to look around the living room.
"Rebecca?" I asked when I eyed materials scattering the floor. "What is all this stuff for?" There was a circular frame and tinsel laid out on the ground, but the thing that caught my eye the most was a bundle of bright red berries surrounded by pointy dark green leaves.
"Oh, this? I thought I already told you this morning." She laughed, walking down the stairs with even more supplies. "My mind must be playing tricks with me. Well, with Christmas right around the corner, I was thinking we could make reefs to decorate the house. I heard homemade reefs leave a lovely smell."
"Uh, I'm not very good with the whole arts and craft thing." My cheeks flushed a bright red. "I don't really have the memory of my preschool years to fall back on."
"Oh, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm sure you'll do fine!" She pulled me into her side for a hug after placing the rest of the supplies down next to the others. "Besides, it's all about the having fun and spreading the Christmas cheer, right?"
"Sure, let me go get my elf ears and toy tools." I teased. "Should I let all the other animals from outside come in and sing with us around the fire?" My eyes filled with humor.
"You're going to be getting a lot of coal for Christmas with that attitude." She pushed me playfully. "Alright, let's get to work."
In the end, I actually got the hang of the whole home-crafting thing. My reef wasn't going to be featured in the next Home magazine that's for sure, but it was better than I thought it would be.
"Well, won't you look at that?" Rebecca admired my work. "Looks beautiful."
"I wouldn't say that, but yeah, it's decent." I shrugged, picking up the red berries that caught my eye earlier, and mindlessly squeezing it between my fingers.
"Sweetie, don't do that! Those darn things will stain your fingers and be such a pain to wash off." She chastised, but my fingers were already covered in the berry's juice.
"Oops. Sorry Rebecca."
"It's alright dear. Lemme go get some solution to help get that off your hands." She stated as she strolled to the kitchen.
"Hey, Rebecca!?" I shouted, staring at the plant's remains on my fingers. "What kinda plant is this anyways?"
"Hollies!" She yelled back before coming into the room with her home remedy. "Here you go sweetie. Just let your fingers soak in there and it should come off in a couple minutes."
"So...where do these things come from?" I glimpsed up at her from the floor, still cross legged on the carpet, soaking my fingers in some funky smelling liquid. "I've never seen them before."
"Well, some grow deep in the forest here, but most come from subtropical and temperate regions." She began to explain. "There is actually a tale on how holly berries became significant to Christians, leading to it being used for Christmas today." I raised my eyebrows in interest. "At first, hollies were adorned on doors as a method of preventing persecution. However, it was truly used as a method of preventing unpredictable misfortune". Her voice took on a distant tone as she continued telling the legends of the little plant. "It has been said that the power of the holly is not limited to the problems that earthly creatures could inflict, but also demonic forces. The hanging of holly on the doors of homes was believed to prevent the entry of terrifying spirits who were likely to attack during the holy days." Her eyes then fixated on me. "Anyhow, as time went on, it started to become more conventional as a symbol of Christmas festivals and the original purpose of the holly became less recognized by Christians. Now, hollies are a thing of decoration and nothing more." She finished with a smile.
"Wow. So, these little things pack a lot of punch to them then, don't they?" I lifted my hand from the soak bath and reached for another berry to pull it close to my eye. I tried to make sense of how people could once find something so small and delicate as powerful or meaningful. "It's fascinating."
"They sure are." Rebecca agreed with a smile, watching me examine the plant. "You know," She added, "You still don't have a name yet. Maybe we have finally found something to call you."
"Call me what?" My brows furrowed in confusion.
"Holly, of course! It's a beautiful name. And believe it or not, I think it suits you quite well."
"...Holly?" I let the name roll off the tip of my tongue. "I love it." I rose to my feet to hug her gratefully. "Thank you, Rebecca. I-I don't know what to say." My face beamed with happiness. I finally had a name, something that I could call my own. I'm Holly.
"I love you." The words spilled from my mouth unexpectedly. I tensed with fear of her reaction, but relaxed as I felt her arms wrap tighter around me.
"I love you too, Holly."
I suddenly snap awake, the vivid memory shattering into a million pieces.
"Rebecca!" I quickly sit up in bed, drenched in sweat. My eyes flitter around the room, searching for her.
"Hey, hey. Hold on there tiger!" Dean is suddenly by my side looking more exhausted than usual. He pushes me back down into the covers with a firm, but gentle hand. "You need to relax."
The room starts to spin from the blood running down from my head. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to make the room still. "Ugh, my head." I groan. Once I'm sure I'm not going to toss my cookies, I finally open my eyes and see Dean standing over me looking worried. The room, I instantly notice, isn't familiar to the motel room from last night...or the day before...or whenever it was. I try to move my hands to wipe the sweat beading off my forehead, but they make no urge to move. I look to see my hands are tied to the bed with rope. What the hell? I pull against my restraints, but they don't budge. "Dean, what's with the kidnapper act?" I try to snap at him, but my throat croaks instead from the lack of hydration. My temples and limbs throb with pain, like I've just been hit by a ten ton truck. I manage to glare at him, despite the excruciating ache in my skull.
"Hey, don't look at me. We just did what we thought was safe for you and well...all of us." He eyes me suspiciously.
"What are you talking about? Take these off of me, now." I demand.
"Holly, do you even remember what happened a week ago?"
"A week ago…?" I try to sit up in bed again, but the ropes only tighten around my wrists even more so, I give up.
"The demon you roasted? Rebecca? You floating in damn mid-air?" He hints. "Any of this ringing a bell?"
My heart clenches painfully at the mention of Rebecca. The woman who I looked up to, who I trusted, except she wasn't the person I thought she was, she was an angel, but Dean didn't know that. "Have you been drinking?" I ask skeptically.
"That's besides the point." He rolls his eyes. "Do you remember or not?" He asks again.
I try to recall the night, but pull a blank. The only thing that flashes to mind is the demon bastard stabbing a blade through Rebecca's chest. I feel my throat constrict with emotion at the memory, but I swallow down the lump in my throat. There was no time for crying now; more important things had to be faced.
"Everything after Rebecca's death is just a black and hazy fog. So...no, I can't. I can't remember." I state in frustration, irritated with my constant blackouts of memory.
His eyebrows rise in surprise. "You really don't remember a thing?" I shake my head, looking up at him as my heart races in anticipation. "Hol. Your eyes were white. Your hair and feet were...floating. You had blue fire shooting out of your hand for Christ's sake. I swear it was like seeing something out of a comic book." He crosses his arms across his chest. "Hence the tying you up." He points out.
"I had fire coming out of my hand?" My heart begins to pound as I feel the verge of a panic attack coming on. What if Castiel was right? What if I was dangerous? To him? To everyone?
"Hey." He sits down on the edge of the bed, placing his hands on my shoulders firmly, forcing me to look into his green eyes until I calmed. "Just take a breather, alright? You're too weak to be this riled up." He surprisingly sounds concerned until he adds, "And honestly, you look a little worse for wear."
"Well, isn't that something every girl loves to hear...or female mutant." I shake my head with a humorless smile. I breathe in deeply and blow out a noisy breath, reigning in my emotions. I look away from his intense gaze and examine the room again seeing beers overtake the desk in the far corner of the room and a magazine lying on top of the heap. "Where are we?" I question upon seeing picture frames of an unfamiliar middle-aged man and woman up on the walls. With the dust accumulating on most of the furniture, it seems that the room hasn't been cleaned in years.
"After what happened, Sam and I had to take you somewhere safe. This is the only place that came to mind." He states. "The owner's name is Bobby. He has been a friend of ours for a long time coming. He's a hunter like us."
"Mhm. Well...it looks like Bobby needs to dust up a bit in here. It's like dust bunny central." I cough for emphasis.
"Don't be a smart ass." He smirks. "You should be thankful we know the guy. He has every kind of warding sigil known to man drawn all over this house. That means no visits from any angels, monsters, or dick-headed demons. Basically, no one can track you down or even know your here."
"Remind me to thank him for that after I get untied." I pull at my restraints again, looking at him expectantly.
"No way sweetheart. Like I said, after what we saw there is no way we are letting you out of that bed until we know what we're working with here."
"Oh, come on! I don't even remember. For all you know that wasn't even me." I defend. "Besides, if I really wanted to hurt you and Sam, wouldn't I have done it by now?"
"Sorry Hol. You have to stay put." He rises from his spot on the bed and stretches, his back popping loudly in response.
"You should know leaving me tied up didn't go so well last time." I roll my eyes.
"Sam and Bobby are downstairs. I'll go tell them you're awake. Keep out of trouble until then." He states as he goes to open the door. "Oh, and by the way, if you try to run home free again, next time I won't be so gentle with the house arrest."
"Asshole." I grumble under my breathe.
"Right back at you, Hol." He hollers back before closing the door shut behind him.
As soon as I'm alone, the room is eerily silent, leaving me alone with my thoughts. I feel the sorrow threatening to creep up on me as I lay in bed. My mind races with images of the Rebecca. I struggle with keeping myself together until the tears begin to freely stream down my cheeks. The guilt of my last words to her ate at me. How I yelled at her. How I hated her with every fiber of my being because of her deal. But, how could I have done such a thing after all she sacrificed for me? She wasn't human, but she protected me and loved for all those months when I felt nothing, but alone. She was the only thing that was consistent in my life. Even though she was an angel, she was still chose to care for me, to be my mom. I still loved her, but now she was gone.
As soon as I hear the stomping of boots coming up the stairs, my crying immediately ceases. I try to quickly wipe the tear trails on my face with the sleeve of my shoulder before the door gently pushes open. When I finally see who comes in, I smile despite my red-rimmed eyes, glad to see the younger Winchester entering the room. "Hi, Sam."
"Holly, are you alright?" He quickly rushes to my side. His hazel eyes scan my face, probably noticing my puffy eyes and tear-stained cheeks.
"Well, if you consider me being in a mini-coma for a solid seven days straight alright, then I'm just peachy." I tease lightly, causing him to crack a smile.
"Glad to have you back on planet Earth."
"Can't say I'm glad to be back." My mood quickly turns sour.
"Holly…" His eyes shine with worry. "Everything is going to be fine. We will figure this out, alright? One step at a time."
"Is it okay if I interrupt?" An older voice asks before entering the room.
"Yeah, come on in Bobby." Sam waves him in.
I look up to see a man with beard and protruding belly step into the room with a well-past worn baseball cap placed atop his head. I see Dean following close behind him with a tray of food and water. "Dean, you shouldn't have." I mock as he walks the tray over towards me.
"Oh, shut it." He scoffs, placing the tray on the bedside dresser next to me.
My gaze returns to the stranger in the room, not knowing what to expect.
"Hi there, I'm Bobby. Bobby Singer. It's great to finally meet cha." He walks towards me to shake my hand, but halts in place. "Um, boys? A little harsh, ya think?" He points at my tied up hands.
"Hi." I greet shyly as Sam walks over to untie the ropes. "Holly, and thanks for that. My arm was starting to fall asleep." I say timidly, rubbing my sore wrists before shaking his hand.
"You're welcome." He replies. "You know you got alotta nerve boys. It's not every day you hear stories like hers and I wish you would have told me about it sooner," he chastises them, "but I guess it's my fault for not expecting that by now, you know them. Bunch of idjits." He states with a slight drawl, causing me to laugh.
"Hey! It's not like we didn't do jack squat. She's still alive, isn't she?" Dean defends.
"By the looks of it, this poor girl needs someone to be a decent human being to her. She ain't so bad as you said she was." He raises an eyebrow at him.
"Mhm...and what did Dean tell you about me, exactly?" I question.
"Nothing, other than you being a pain in my rear." Dean interjects, picking up the magazine lying next to him and flipping through it indifferently.
Before I can respond to his comment Bobby butts in, "Are they always like that?" He asks Sam as he juts his thumb at Dean and me.
"So far, yeah." Sam shrugs. "I think it's them trying to bond, but really I don't know myself."
Bobby looks between me and Dean once more before announcing, "Okay, enough jokin' around, we got things to discuss." He pulls a chair out to sit closer by my bedside. "So...Holly." He begins. "I would like to hear your side of the story instead of relyin' on these chuckle heads."
"I'm sure they told you about the whole forest fiasco already so..."
"What forest thing you talkin' about?"
"Oh...I guess that didn't get part didn't get passed along then?"
"'fraid not." He huffs.
"Bobby." Sam speaks up, looking a bit sheepish. "We weren't even really sure what to make of it ourselves. We didn't want you to worry-"
"Well, it's pretty damn important now boy." He retorts before turning his attention back to me. "Go on ahead, Holly."
I squirm under his stare as I recall the very night I fell to Earth. Every detail still crystal clear down to the icy cold brush of the wind to the damp musk of the forest soil. It was like I was reliving it all over again. "Next thing I know, I'm in the hands of these guys." I finish, looking to Sam and Dean. "If it wasn't for them, I don't know if I would even be here right now."
"Well, I'm glad they did something right." Bobby looks at me in empathy. "You know, this is information would've been real useful before you told me a pack of demons were on her hide." He chastises Sam and Dean, his disappointment sounding much like a father's . "You keep messin' with this kind of stuff and now you guys are knee deep in it."
"Like Sammy said Bobby, we didn't want to bother you if it turned out to be nothin'." Dean clarifies. "We regret that now."
"So...we got a lot of things to work with here." Bobby lifts his hat up to scratch at the receding hairline on his forehead and blows out an uneasy breathe. "Looks like it's time to hit the books." I hear a loud groan emanate from Dean as Bobby gets up from his chair. "You want to stay here and eat that, or come down with us?" He asks me.
Being alone was the last thing I wanted to do. The hallow hole in my chest was just waiting to rip me apart once more. "Um, no, I'm actually not hungry. I'll just tag along with you guys. I need to start using my legs before they start turning to jelly on me, anyways." I try to out of bed and almost fall over until Bobby catches me.
"Yeah, maybe you should do that." He chuckles as he helps me stand up straight. "If you want, we also got a shower across the hall so you can clean up. God knows a shower can do wonders."
"Actually, that sounds amazing right about now. Thank you." I smile at him as I try to use his arms as stabilizers.
"Sam, you show the girl where the towels are and get some of Karen's clothes for her in my room." He orders the younger brother. Sam nods in agreement and takes me from Bobby to walk to his room, while Bobby joins Dean downstairs.
"Sam? Where's Cas?" I ask after the silent trek to the old man's room.
"Cas? Why do ask? I mean, you guys aren't on the best of terms…"
"I know it's just… I remember seeing you, Dean, and Cas before I kinda…blacked out..." I confess quietly for haven't told Dean about remembering this.
"Oh?" He perches me on the edge of Bobby's bed to retrieve my clothes. "Um, well, to be honest, I don't actually know where he is." He replies awkwardly, using one hand to brush his hair out of his eyes, while pulling open the clothing drawer with the other. "Once we got you out of there, he kinda went Hudini on us. He barely said a word when Dean and I suggested taking you to Bobby's house."
"So, he didn't have anything to say? No 'I told you so' or 'Leave her to rot here'?" I mock the angel's tone.
"No, he actually agreed with us before zapping to who-knows-where." He pulls out a plaid blouse and a pair of jeans.
"Mhm. Well, that's a little strange isn't it?" I examine Sam's face, trying to decipher the emotion displayed there. "Even for him?"
"I'll say, but lets just look at it as a step forward for the two of you." He smirks as he turns around, handing me my clothes.
"Hopefully I can take your word on that." He helps me up from the bed once more to walk out of the room and back into the hallway.
I let out a low whistle, noticing my surroundings for the first time. "Bobby really knows how to decorate. This place is huge. I feel like I'm at the grand Budapest Hotel." I stare down the hall bug-eyed.
"Yeah, Bobby fixed up the place real good after a couple years. Don't tell him I said this, but it used to be as much as a dump as the junkyard outside." He snickers as we approach what looks like the on suite to a bathroom.
"Well, no matter what taste he has in homes, he's an a-okay guy in my book." I declare. "I noticed he treats you like family, almost like a father and I appreciate him doing that. It's not always easy to be without parents, but it's always nice to know that someone is there to protect you. Be there for you no matter what." I choke up a bit, realizing the similarities between him and Rebecca.
"Holly, you know we can talk about Rebecca...if you want..." He takes the clothes from my hands, placing them on top of the toilet seat lid so he can face me. "I know it's none my business, but I just want you to know we understand and we're here for you. The past couple have days have been tough, especially on you, and I just hope you trust us enough to make you feel as comfortable as possible. I mean, you're practically one of us now." He proclaims.
I tear up at his declaration and pull him in for a hug. "Thanks Sam." I give him one last squeeze before finally letting him go. "I'll take you up on that offer one day." I reply with a watery smile.
"No problem." He smiles back. "Uh, I'll leave you to get ready. If you need any of us just holler. We'll be right downstairs." He states before turning around and walking out the door, pulling it shut behind him.
I sigh loudly before looking into the mirror, staring at the broken girl looking back at me. My long, light brown hair looks brittle and lifeless, my pale grey eyes gloomy and dull. A light sheen of sweat still covers the top of my forehead. "Wow, I do look like shit." I comment out loud, noticing how pale my usually olive skin looks. Not to mention, my work attire looked a bit grimy from hitting day seven of use.
I glance away from the mirror and towards the shower, seeing a clean towel hanging on the rack besides it. I walk to the tub and reach for the spout, turning the water on to a steaming temperature that would ease the knots in my sore limbs. I quickly slip off my dirty work clothes and sneakers before stepping into the stream of warm water. I moan in contentment as the water hits my body, the rhythmic pressure massaging my aching muscles.
I go through the usual routine of soaping, shampooing, and rinsing. I hum to myself as I repeat the same cycle, but with conditioner. I keep my mind away from the thought of Rebecca or any Fallen One related issues. It was nice to enjoy some quiet time to myself without having anything clouding my thoughts.
As soon as I finish, I shut the water off and climb out of the tub, grabbing a towel to dry off my body. I grab the clothes off the toilet seat and quickly slip on the blouse and jeans Sam gave to me, noticing how easily they fitted. A week of not eating a single bite of food made me look a little gaunt. "I really need a cheeseburger." I say aloud, not liking the thinner figure I was sporting, but the actual thought of food made me feel queasy, which was a first. Since the house is full of men, I guessed a hair brush wouldn't be available and used my fingers to comb through my damp hair a few times before tying it up into a bun.
When I look decent, I open the door and follow the way to a group of stairs leading down to the first level. The first floor's decor is almost exactly the same as the rest of the place with the elaborate red color scheme. I stroll to a pair of sliding doors as I hear voices radiating from behind it. I approach the guys, seeing them before they even see me. They were all bent over these huge dusty books, drinking coffee.
"Well, I got absolutely nothing. Are you sure these are the only books you have Bobby?" Dean closes his book shut, causing a little bit of dust to fly off the cover.
"Yeah, these are the only ones I could find on angels, like I said, no one knew they actually existed at the time. Well, until Cas and all the other ones made a surprise visit raising your ass out of hell a couple years back. The only thing we got are bibles and a few other volumes, but that's it."
Raised from hell? Dean went to hell? "No wonder he's such a dick. " I grumble to myself. Yet, I know he could've turned out a lot worse. But really? Just the thought of hell made me shudder in fear. Demons were enough already, but hell? Now that was a whole new ball game. There were a lot more questions the Winchesters needed to answer, but I decide to listen in more before making my entrance.
"Awesome." Dean pushes the book away from him. "So, we have about zilch in what the hell Holly might be. That's just great."
"Dean, cut out the pissy mood. It's not helping anyone." Sam snaps, looking irritated himself.
That's the time when I awkwardly decide to enter the room. "Um, do you guys need any help?" They all jump in surprise at the sound of my voice.
"Thanks, but no thanks." Dean speaks up first, pulling another book to him and flipping open the top cover. "We got it from here. You should probably get some more shut-eye, while we're at it."
"I have to agree with Dean on this one. You need more rest." Bobby adds and Sam nod in return.
"I don't think I could. I need to start doing something before I lose my mind."
"Actually, there is one thing you can do...but you're not going to like it." Dean glances up at me with apprehensive eyes.
"And that would be...?"
"First, lemme just state the facts. One, we have demons tracking you down left and right. Two, they know how you look. So, in order to keep you hidden better we're gonna need you to make a couple changes in..." He falters off as my eyes narrow.
"You're not talking about a damn makeover, are you?"
"Hey, don't look at me like that, I'm just trying to be rational here and to further my case, Sam and Bobby agree with me too." He points out.
"Sam? Bobby? Do I really have to?" I whine. "What is a little hair dye and mani-pedi going to do? It's not like I'm going to get face replacement surgery."
"Yeah, but still, changin' how you look a bit shouldn't be such a bad thing either." Bobby shrugs.
"I know I'm being difficult..." I begin to say before Dean interrupts me with a cough.
"As I was saying," I roll my eyes at him. ", wouldn't the sight of me being with the two Winchester boys already paint a target on my back? I mean come on. I'm not dumb. I saw how those demons wanted to rip you apart Dean. I'm not so sure I'm being unreasonable here."
"She does have a point." Sam concedes, thank god. "It's not like we aren't on demons radars as much as the next hunter, but we do have some bad beef with Lucifer's followers and we still have Crowley to look after. Who knows what he's up to?"
Bobby and Dean open their mouth to object, but nothing comes out.
"See! Even Sam catches my drift."
"You're doin' it. Whether you like it or not." Dean chides. "If anything to help make things a little easier, this would be it." He crosses his arms stubbornly. "So, are you going to come with me or am I going to have to use the hand cuffs again?"
I groan loudly in defeat before complying. "Fine, but I get to choose what I want and you shut your trap about it. Deal?"
"Deal." He smirks, closing his book shut and quickly grabbing his car keys. "Have fun with the research fellas!" He hollers before pushing me out the door.