A/N: I LIVEEEEEEEEEEEEE! Yeah, I once again apologize for the long-awaited update. I'm still trying to get back into the grove of where I wanted this story to go and I believe I have a vague picture that will help keep me pushing on. I'm appreciative to EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU for being so loyal to me and I just want to thank all of you with virtual hugs. Anyways, like the Winchester's say "I got work to do". Enjoy!

As I follow Bobby inside, I instantly cross my arms and ball my hands into fists against my chest. If I ever go inferno again, I would burn myself to the ground before hurting anyone else. Unfortunately, this time Bobby speaks up at my odd behavior. "You cold or somethin'? I gotta blanket in the back of Big Joe you can borrow."

"Um, Big Joe…?" I ask, slowly unfolding my arms, keeping my hands balled tight at my sides.

"Yeah. Big Joe. My truck." He clarifies, jutting his thumb behind us where his clunker sits in the parking lot. "Sometimes the heater doesn't work so I leave a couple blankets in the back in case it gets too chilly on the road."

"Oh. That's Big Joe." I shake my head with a smile. Men and their car naming. "No, I'm alright. Big Joe can keep it warm for me until I get back." I reassure him.

"Alrighty then." Bobby replies, ultimately dropping the subject. He pulls the door to the basement open and motions me through. "After you."

Before we fully make it down the stairs, Sam and Dean can be heard arguing on the bottom level.

"We're way in over our heads on this one, Dean!" Sam yells accusingly. "We need all the help we can get. And you know he's the only one that could be willing to give us the information we need on Jesse." A long exhale, more like an exasperated groan, escapes his lips as he continues. "If he helped us for the first apocalypse, there's no reason he can't for this one."

"Sammy, just don't." The shuffling of Dean's boots can be heard as he paces the room. His voice is tense and clipped.

Another loud huff escapes Sam before he stalks up to his brother to face him head on. "Right now, all we have is another dead end! If we just ask him to pull a couple strings, what's the worst that could happen?"

"A price, Sam!" Dean cuts him off harshly. He pokes a finger to Sam's chest, causing him to take step back. "You and I know a deal always comes with a price. We can't trust the son of a bitch!"

"Trust who?" I interject, when reaching the last step of the staircase. Dean and Sam's heads immediately snap to attention. Their gaze first lands on me then Bobby to my rear. Dean is the first to react. He curses under his breath and runs a hand down his face, his fingers scratching at the stubble growing on his cheeks in agitation. Sam's lips press into a thin line, his eyes quickly taking interest to the floor. Our arrival is obviously something they hadn't expected so soon.

"The girl asked you two a question." Bobby glances between them earnestly. "What're you boys fighting about now?"

"Nothing worthwhile. Their arguments aren't of practical strategy." A voice patronizes, stepping away from the wall and into view, his trench coat being the first thing visible. "I wouldn't suggest either being commendable."

"Cas?" I tilt my head in surprise. "When did you get here?"

"Dean and I called him." Sam speaks. "Told him about what happened earlier with your powers."

His words felt like a punch to my gut. "Oh." One shot and K.O.

I mean, it was probably best to have Castiel here considering my recent incident. Yet, it answered the question I've been pondering all morning. Sam and Dean feared me, again, and they needed Castiel to tame Heaven's war dog. I didn't blame them. They probably trusted me about as much as I trusted myself, which is pretty much zilch. I should be relieved that he's here.

Castiel side eyes the boys, his gaze landing on Dean briefly before focusing on me. "I heard Dean was the one who composed you." He claims thoughtfully. "I think he could be of use to our next training session. If he is willing to participate, that is."

Dean and I connect eyes for a short moment before mine drop down to my boots. I observe the grey scuffed marks on the black leather, trying to keep my gaze from his face. If I were him, I wouldn't want to have to deal with me in any circumstance. He knew what I was capable of. What it took to set me off. The damage I could and can cause to him and his brother. It didn't take me turning into a freaky version of The Human Torch for him to realize all of that. He already knew, yet he tried. He always tried to keep his faith in me. Now, I'm so sure if he believed even a little anymore. Well, here we go, back to square one.

"I don't have a problem with it." He replies coolly.

Wait, what. I shake my head and have to pretend to knock sand out of my ears to make sure I heard him clearly. However, it seems that I have with his smirk being directed towards me. "As long as she takes it easy on me, I'm more than willing to be her personal punching bag."

"I, uh, doubt you'll need any help from me…" Sam tacks on. "But if Dean needs to take a breather I can be his step-in, if you want." Another jolt of surprise stuns me to silence. Maybe I wasn't a lost cause after all.

Castiel nods his head gratefully, responding for me. "I appreciate all the help she can get. Maybe Holly will actually pay attention with you two around. She does seem to like you best." He sniffs shrewdly.

"Okay…let's just pretend I know what all of you are talkin' about and move on to the main reason why I'm here." Bobby replies, looking more lost than caught up since he got here. "Where are these Seekers Holly told me about?"

Sam motions his head towards the corner nearest to Castiel. Nico is still tied in the same place as before with Joshua next to his side, except this time, their eyes are closed. "You don't need to worry about them hearing us. Cas put them out while we waited for you."

"And Lori?" Bobby asks as he moves in to take a closer look at them.

"Upstairs in one of the classrooms. She had a hard time taking in Sam's end-of-times speech among other things." Dean clarifies, twirling his index finger in a circle by his ear. "Said she needed some space."

Sam rolls his eyes. "Like you could've done it better?" He gestures to Dean mockingly. "Please, by all means, tell us how would you make Judgment Day seem like a walk in the park, Mr. Positivity?"

"Well, I'm damn sure I could've done it better then you, Gigantor!" Dean retorts with a snort.

Sam's eyes narrow at the childish jab at his height. "Seriously? Now, you're pulling out the immature nicknames?!"

"Enough!" Bobby shouts in finality. "You idjits are acting like a bunch of snotty little rug rats!" He steps in between them, a disappointed glare set on his face. "You both have clearly been neglected some serious shut eye this past month. It's been hard, on all of us. I know that, but let's just take it down a notch before we say something we'll regret, got it?" Dean scoffs and turns his back on him briefly and Bobby grabs his shoulder, spinning him back around. "Don't turn your back on me boy. I said do you got it?"

Dean eyes his firm stare for a moment, considering his options before stepping out from under his grip, slowly rising his hands up in the air. "Got it." He states with a dry grin.

"Bobby's right. We had a long night." I step in before Bobby could slap Dean upside the head. Besides, I was all in for taking a well-needed breather. "Let's take five, set our head straight, and get back at it this afternoon." I offer, stretching my arms above my head to limber out the ache in my bones. "I don't know about you guys, but a coffee break sounds heavenly right about now."

I wrap my hands around the warm mug in my hands, breathing in the fresh cup of Gas n' Sip coffee bean brew. An aroma of creamy vanilla immediately hits my senses. Bringing the cup to my lips just about causes the world to stop like when a person experiences love at first sight, except in this case, it is love at first sip. Eating and sleeping definitely wasn't in my cards anymore, but coffee still very much hit the spot.

"Do you need a moment?" I turn my head to find Dean leaning against the church door entrance, watching me from my spot on the stairs. "I'll be happy to leave you two alone." He winks before pulling a drag from his own steaming cup of Joe. Despite his teasing, it is clear coffee is also his saving grace in the mornings. The dark shadow under his eyes, however, could only be relieved by sleep.

I throw him a quick glare before turning forwards again, watching as a slight breeze blew over the front courtyard, rustling the green foliage of the trees. I try to ignore the feel of his stare as I take another sip, relishing in the flavors playing across my tongue, but now, with my unwanted company, it tasted more bitter than sweet.

It's not that I don't mind Dean here. I just want to be alone. To worry about nothing other than the hot java in my grasp. These days, it is hard to get even a minute of alone time. "You know, you don't have to babysit me. I'm not going to spontaneously combust any time soon. At least…I don't think I will." I add wryly.

Immediately, the tension between us tightens at my bitter tone. I want to take what I said back, but there is no use to. What was said is said, and knowing Dean, he would quickly see through my bullshit if I try to beat around the bush now. You can't bullshit the master of Bullshitting.

Before he can respond, Castiel materializes into space, revealing himself at the bottom of the cement stairs. For once, I'm grateful for his presence. Talk about saved by the bell. "I hope you both enjoyed your break while it lasted." He announces gravely. "Because we have a lot of work to do."

Preceding Castiel's so-called "Spirit training", I find myself sitting Indian style on the dewy grass under the shade of a giant oak tree. I would roll my eyes at the whole sight being cliché if I knew I wouldn't get caught. It's like he's trying to replicate a scene from the Karate Kid or something. Dean clearly thinks the same as he's observing from the sidelines with a pleased grin on his smug little face.

Cas paces in front of me as I swat at a fly buzzing around my ear, impatiently waiting for him to speak. "Holly, I would like you to describe what happened." He begins, his tone taking on a similar quality to a teacher. "The very thing that caused you to lose control."

"Well, Mr. Miyagi." That pulls a snort from Dean and a puzzled stare from Castiel. "I was mad, pissed even, that the woman that I practically called my mother betrayed me and well, the entire planet. So, yeah, I lost control." I answer with a sneer.

Castiel nods his head in understanding, ignoring my sass. "It seems that every time you get angry, or emotional, your powers are activated. I believe we have to find to a way to keep your emotions in check so this doesn't happen again. At least, not until it is obligatory."

"So…what you're saying is that I have a case of the Holy Spirit mensies?" My arms cross defensively. If he was comparing my instability to a hormonal teenage girl, then I was about to do a lot more than fry his ass.

"Nice working, Cas." Dean chuckles, his face splitting into a grin. "You just pulled the PMS card like every other douchebag."

I shake my head at him, placing my face in my palms. "I have feelings, Castiel. I can't exactly keep them 'in check'," I quote for emphasis, my snark getting the best of me. "Unless you want me to become part cyborg."

"I didn't mean it like that." Cas sighs deeply. "I'm trying to say that your emotions are where your powers seem to stem from. It has always been your downfall, especially in training. Every spark of emotion brings incentive to grow into something uncontrollable." He explains. "I want to prevent that by practicing meditation."

Now, that was unexpected. "Meditation? Are you kidding? I have to become Buddah to find inner peace?"

"Your powers are energy." He simply replies. "It flows through you and connects to every part of your being, just as my grace does in my vessel. Meditating can help you keep control through the power of your mind. It's been a common ritual done by humans for centuries." His blue eyes take in my skeptical expression. He pulls at the tie around his neck, loosening it slightly as he thinks of a reason that will make me reconsider. "Well, if you don't trust my methods then why don't we deliberate yours? How did you make your first connection to heaven?"

With a sheepish grin appearing one my face, I answer. "…Prayer."

"And is that not a form of meditation?" A triumphant smirk forms on Castiel's lips.

Maybe my pride is getting the best of me. Besides if meditation is all it takes to keep me sane, then I should take it. Yet, I still purse my lips in false thought. "Huh, I guess it does."

"Then, let's give it a try. Close your eyes." He orders. I oblige and my eyelids fall closed. "Now, focus on your breathing. Try decreasing your heart beat as much as you can."

I breathe in through my nose deeply and out through my mouth, focusing on the thumping organ in my chest. My heart slowly begins to drag out its contractions, and my breathing becomes slack. Only a couple minutes has passed when I'm on the verge of entering dreamland. "Uh, Cas?" I ask drowsily. "Am I supposed to feel sleepy? Because if I do this any longer I might go comatose."

"Yes, meditation is sometimes used as a sleeping aid. So you will feel slightly fatigued, but you must fight against that urge." He squeezes my shoulder and my eyes slowly open to reveal his face. "We are trying to connect you to your inner energy, not have you fall asleep to it." He smiles encouraginly. "Guide yourself to the energy that is within you."

"Okay then, Mr. Spiritual." I mumble. "Tell me how to guide myself, because I'm the last person who would know how."

"You've always doubted your abilities during training." The angel groans. "You will never improve if never practice." He ponders for a moment, observing me, the hopeless student. "Hm, maybe…" His gaze turns towards Dean who is leaning against a tree trunk. His head is nodding off as he fights off his own unconsciousness. "Dean."

He immediately straightens from his slouch, shaking the sleep from his eyes. "W-What?"

"Go retrieve Sam. I have an idea."

Soon enough, Dean appears with a slightly perturbed Sam. "Hey, Dean said you guys needed me?" When he regards me, I lift my shoulders in an "I dunno" gesture.

"Yes, we're trying a hands-on experiment." Castiel states simply. "I need you and Dean to accommodate Holly in a little exercise."

A flash of nerves shoots through me, making my skin hot. I really didn't like the way this is heading. I didn't want to put them in harm's way, especially if I would be the cause of it. "Cas, I'm not going to use them as my training dummies if that's what you mean." I huff.

"No, nothing like that." He reassures me, giving me an incredulous look. "They are here to be your…" He wavers, wracking his brain for the right word. "Support system, as you humans would call it."

"And how would we do that? Be her little pep squad to cheer her on?" Dean asks sarcastically, waving his hands like pom-poms.

"Well, no." The angel replies sensibly. "I was thinking your presence and encouragement would be enough, but if that is something you would prefer, then –"

Dean's head wrenches back in an unenthused laugh, clutching his stomach. "Ha, ha, hil-arious."

Sam and I share a laugh as the tips of Dean's ears begin to turn red. "Actually, if you're my private cheerleaders, I believe a skirt will definitely do the trick. Really helps me feel spiritual. Right, Castiel?" I nudge him with an elbow, waggling my brows.

A proud grin appears on the angel's lips as I play along. "I would believe so, Holly."

"Can we just get to the training already?" Dean sputters as he drops down onto the grass in front of me. His face is now a bright flush of red. "We do have other things to worry about, like the 11 year old brat trying to press the self-destruct button on the world." He states gruffly. "Is that ringin' any bells for anyone?"

That quickly causes the laughter to come to a screeching halt. His reminder of what's to come sobers everyone's mood. The humor that was once on Cas's face quickly fades back to his usual solemnity. "Yes, of course. Thank you for reminding us, Dean." He clears his throat, motioning for Sam to sit down next to his brother. "Now, I was thinking that Holly can use you as a way to project her powers. I want the both of you to think about Holly. About her strengths, the times of her courage, or whatever noble qualities that comes to mind. And for you Holly." He adds, turning to me. "Close your eyes and listen. I want you to focus on them both. Try to sense what they are thinking, and feel the energies that derive from them." His typically gruff voice starts to sounds smooth like honey, his words flowing steadily from his mouth. "If you can decipher their ambiances, then try to understand them. Basically, put yourself in their shoes as you will. This will help you focus on how emotions make you react. To think before acting on them."

Because of the men in front of me, I try to pay attention to Castiel's instructions to avoid messing up in sheer embarrassment. My brows furrow in concentration as I take another deep breathe in, sucking in as much air my lungs can take, and blow out nosily.

After a while of long silence, I begin to detect what Cas is talking about. I don't hear it, or see it. I sense it. At first, Mother Nature seems more alive than ever with how the soil slightly trembles underneath me and how the wind swishes when it caresses the trees and grass as it blows past. I could even sense the tiny insects that find home in the trunk of the trees that scatter the church's grounds. When my fingers begin to tingle and spread to my palms, I instantly become anxious. The meditation is working. Keeping calm, I let it spread up my arm and down to the rest of my limbs, enveloping my entire body with vibrations.

Suddenly, I feel a presence, like the vibes are tugging me in a certain direction. I oblige and give my consciousness over. When I open my eyes, I see two different orbs suspended into a vast, dark space. One is an emerald green, pulsating and powerful, while the other is a light blue that softly twinkles. They are so close they are practically mixed together. It takes me a second to realize that these little orbs aren't just balls of light, they are Dean and Sam. These are their souls. It felt undeniably intimate to see them this way, but also, strangely beautiful. Those little balls of light are their life force. Everything that they ever experienced and felt in one little package.

I stare wide eyed at the precious sources of life, subconsciously reaching out to touch them. iRght when my finger connects to them, a powerful shock of electricity shoots up my arm, and then comes the series of flashes.