Just another reminder that this story is very dark (Particularly this chapter- you have been warned) So please keep that in mind before you start this chapter.

The early morning sky had turned dark and ominous as thick storm clouds rolled in over Rosewood. The heavy blankets of cloud hung low in the air, threatening to spill it's contents on the small town. The wind had picked up, swirling the autumn leaves around the quite neighbourhood streets in a blur of brilliant orange and brown.

Aria felt as dark as the weather was. She was being sucked into a black hole of emotion and she couldn't pull herself out. Her bed had been her home for the weekend, only emerging from the thick warm covers to use the bathroom, but otherwise she lay tangled in her sheets, breathing in the comforting warmth of her bed that reminded her so much of her mother. Books lay strewn across her floor, open on various non sequential pages. Reading was her escape from her troubled life. She could loose herself in a good novel and have the rest of her world fall away. She had just finished reading 'For Whom The Bell Tolls', and it was the last book Ezra had lent her. As she lay under her covers, two arms held the book close to her chest. It was the last piece she had of him, and she felt she would never be able to let the book go.

Aria rubbed her tired eyes in an effort to stay awake; her sleep had been plagued by a constant barrage of nightmares again and her nighty was still damp from sweat. She was used to the nightmares and sleepless nights; with everything she was going through, it was no surprise. But this nightmare was one she just could not shake. The fact that it had actually happened and was not just her mind torturing her in her sleep was even worse.

"How many points for the word 'Slut'?"

Every time the memory flooded back to her, she could still feel the flush of heat in her cheeks from embarrassment and the nausea that swirled ferociously in her stomach.

The opinions of others had never bothered her before, so why was she still torturing herself over something a skeezy junior had said to her? Slut was far from what she was; compared to the other girls in her grade Aria was the fricken Virgin Mary. She had always promised herself that she would never be like Hanna and sleep with half the boys in her grade. She wanted to save herself for someone that she truly loved and cared about. And that is what she found in Ezra, he was her first and until recently, she thought he would be her only.

"Miss Montgomery, you shouldn't be in here."

She hadn't been able to read the look in his face as she turned around. His fists were balled tightly at his side and his jaw was set; his eyes swimming with emotion. She had been sure Ezra had heard Connor call her a slut and she prayed he hadn't assumed it was because she slept with Connor. She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she thought Ezra hated her. Lately death was an unexpected thought that crashed into her mind when she least expected it, and it always left her with goosebumps.

Aria had never understood how someone could willingly harm themselves. She had used the word stupid a lot when Spencer had told her about the girl in their grade who had scars all over her arms. Emily had just shaken her head in pity while Hanna giggled and called her an attention seeker. Aria had agreed, so why now did she have the sudden urge to take something sharp to her skin. The thought made her shudder in disgust, but no matter how much she reasoned with herself, the feeling was still there. Aria remembered the school guidance counsellor mentioning it had something to do with needing to feel in control.

Was that it? Was her life now completely out of her own hands that she needed to put something back under her control?

Out of the corner of her eye she could see a pair of scissors sitting a top her desk, daring her to pick them up. She closed her eyes, willing away the sinister thoughts that had suddenly broken into her mind.

In the defending silence that followed, her stomach groaned loudly in hunger and she was reminded that she hadn't eaten all weekend. Eating meant having to spend time with Meredith and Byron and she just couldn't bring herself to play nice. Not that Byron and Meredith even noticed her absence; so absorbed in their 'love' they had not even knocked on her door once. Every now and then she would hear Meredith's annoying giggle and she was reminded of why she had locked herself in her room to start with.
And besides, the hunger distracted her from the ache she felt in her heart; it was something else to focus on besides the fact that the man she loved could never be apart of her life. Another pang of guilt ripped through Aria as she buried her head back into her pillow. She didn't know how much more of this feeling she could take. Her mind kept playing over the same painful memories, only adding to the rapidly building pressure. She was a prisoner to her own mind. No matter how hard she tried to shake the memories, they kept returning with a vengeance.

Fuck!

She slammed her head into the pillow, willing her mind to just stop for a moment so she could breathe. Ezra, Maggie, Malcolm, Jackie, -A, her father. Images and voices swirled around in a confusing blur.

"Aria!"

Her fathers voice travelled menacingly up the stairs and through her closed bedroom door. She groaned loudly.

"I'm not going to tell you again! Get out of bed!"

She stuck her tongue out in protest but forced her self out of bed anyway. She wasn't sure where the sudden burst of energy came from; maybe from the fear that he would kick her arse if she wasn't downstairs and ready in the next fifteen minutes.

Aria picked up her phone as she made her way to the closet. No messages; her friends must have given up on her when she didn't reply to their barrage of texts on Saturday night.

Great.

Another excuse to think of.

Her shoulders slumped forward in defeat. There was no way she was going to make it through the day. If she was a betting man she would place $200 on her ending up in the bathroom in tears before 10 a.m. She flicked through her clothes and put on the first sweater and skinny jeans she came across. She really had no energy to style herself up today and she hoped no one would notice.

"Aria, grab your stuff, we're leaving in five."

She swallowed the lump in her the throat and took a deep breath. This was another way for her father to control her life; drop her off and pick her up from school. She hadn't protested when her father had told her. For one she didn't have the energy to, and second, she was running out of concealer for her bruises. She wish she had the strength like Mike to get out.

Suddenly, Aria crossed the room, grabbing the scissors off the desk in one quick movement as if someone had typed orders into her brain and pressed enter.

Her heart pounded furiously in her chest and her hand shook as she moved the sharp edge closer to the pale skin of her arm. Her mind screamed in protest, but the pressure was building in her chest and with a deep breath, Aria pushed the edge of the scissor blade to her arm and slowly pulled in down.

Instant relief.

The pain of the edge sent a shiver up her spine, and as the cut began to weep, she felt her troubles pool into the small drop of blood. She felt the heavy load drop off her shoulder and a feeling of euphoria swelled in her chest. Drunk on the feeling, Aria placed the scissors to her arm once more and made another line parallel to the last. She stumbled back and sat clumsily on her bed; the scissors dropping to the floor.

Now she understood.

It wasn't just about control, it was the sweet relief that came along with it; a great relief of pressure. She basked in the feeling, letting the shivers run to every nerve of her body before it ebbed away into nothing. And that's when the pain started, not only in her cuts, but in her chest as well.

What have I done.

She felt rather than saw the blood trickle down her arm; not enough to cause for alarm, but enough to need something to stop the flow. Crossing to her desk, Aria pulled a few tissues from the box and placed them to her arm, then searched through her draws until she found a bandaid.

She stood in shock for a moment, trying to process the last few minutes, but her fathers voices boomed up the stairs, making her jump.

"Let's go Aria."

She pulled her sweater sleeve down, covering the bandaid and grabbed her bag. Meredith smiled sweetly at Aria as she descended down the stairs.

"Good morning." The older woman sang.

Aria could see her father in the corner of her eye and knew Meredith was performing for him.

And the winner for Best Actress goes to...

"Ready?" Byron asked with a smiled as he passed Aria a muffin.

She didn't know how he could do it; treat her the way he did one minute and then pretend like nothing was wrong. It made Aria feel like she was going insane.
She took the muffin from him without returning the smile and muttered a thanks.

The ride to school was painful. Having to sit in the back seat and listen to Meredith and Byron talk like they were one big happy family made her want to vomit, and the feeling of nausea didn't subside. In fact, the moment she got out of her fathers car and saw the other girls waiting for her on the front steps, her non existent breakfast threatened to spill all over the ground.

It was Emily who got to her first. Her hand rested on Arias arm, rubbing it reassuringly.

"If -A is blackmailing you, we want you to know that we will help you however we can."

Arias eyebrows pulled together, confused by Emily's directness.

"Yeah." Hanna agreed, handing Aria a cup of coffee. "We won't let anything happen to Ezra or Malcolm. I'll keep an eye on this one." Hanna's head gestured to Spencer, who in return shot Hanna a filthy look.

Aria suppressed a giggle. She had been in such a dark place, she had forgotten just how much she loved her friends. She had expected the girls to ignore her or at least put her problems down to boy troubles. They had obviously spent a long time speculating on what had happened to her and this is what they had come up with. Which helped her immensely; it meant she wouldn't have to convince them nothing was wrong. But with the slight feeling of elation that crept into her heart, she also felt the crushing weight of guilt. Here were her friends, who cared so much about her, who had stood by her through so much before and she couldn't even tell them about Byron. But it was the same with Ezra and everyone else who she cared about; they were going through their own troubles, and to add to their burden would only send Aria spiralling down faster.

The stinging pain in her arm reminded her of that.

So sorry for the delay. I really hope you enjoy this chapter. As always, please please review!

Snellee