A/N: I am SO sorry guys! I meant to update this a few days ago, but there's been a lot of stuff going on. On the bright side, my sister just moved in with me! My thanks to everyone who reviewed, and again, my apologies for those of you waiting on this update! Longer chapter next time, I promise!

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Uryuu's POV)

"... Uryuu. I can train you... to return your powers."

His entire mouth went dry, and some part of him cried out that this was just another trick. A trap, a distraction, anything but the hope it sounded like. But he had learned not to hope. Hope... was a trick. A farce. A lead into more anguish. He had enough to deal with having Ichigo breathing down his neck all the time, and everytime he thought he was in the clear, Ichigo would find someway to remind him he wasn't. This... this was just another test.

He wouldn't fail.

"I... I don't think that's a good idea."

"Don't be stupid."

Uryuu flinched at the tone Ryuuken's voice held, and for a split second, he noticed orange tinting the corners of the room. It faded quickly, but it only confirmed his previous thoughts. Ichigo was watching. Testing him. He had to... had to find some way to play it off. He needed to be alone. Needed to think about things. He needed... he needed... space.

"Just... I... I want to sleep. I'm... tired."

He tried to run a hand through his hair, but his hands were shaking and his hair was stringy, dirty, and tangled, and his fingers got caught. As he tried to work them loose, his hair flew out around his face, and he tried to keep the desperation from his expression since he knew he looked weak enough already, but knowing Ryuuken would make more of it than it was made him lower his head, trying to shield his eyes with the hair that had gone askew. There was a long period of silence, and with each second that passed he felt like his insides were coiling in on themselves, tightening until he felt ready to jump at any little noise.

Which he did, when Ryuuken finally sighed, and he had to stop himself from glancing up. That was his frustrated sigh; next would come the yelling, the threats, the slamming of doors; the humiliation, the accusations, degradations... it would be just like... just like...

He jumped again, unable to stop the gasp that slipped past his lips when he felt arms come around his body, and despite his will he glanced up, only to see Ryuuken's white hair filling his vision as he was pulled into a hug. He didn't understand. Why... why wasn't he reacting the same way? He could feel every muscle in his body tightening further, reading for some kind of abuse, but the only thing he heard was Ryuuken's whispered,

"Then get some sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."

Afraid it was a trick, Uryuu couldn't force his body to move even an inch as he was let go of, or as Ryuuken slowly stood. They shared a look, and this time the bewildered look was too hard to even try to disguise as he gazed at his father. He just couldn't understand... why? Why now would he suddenly drop it? Why was he acting like everything was okay?

He watched Ryuuken turn and walk toward the door, shutting it behind him, but he continued staring at where the man was long after the footsteps had faded from the door, and the door to his bedroom was audibly closed as well. He stared for several long minutes, unable to process; unable to fathom what had happened. He felt like he was on a roller coaster, and every few seconds his heart would drop into his stomach or jump into his throat. Tears once more tried to flood past his eyes as his hands returned to his hair, raking through and pulling at several knots that had formed.

What was happening?

He had to think. What exactly was so wrong that he was freaking out? He felt it... felt something off, that something was wrong, but he couldn't figure out what it was. Closing his eyes, he yanked on his hair before slamming his hands into his skull, trying to pound some kind of thought process back into him. He had to think.

Ichigo. Ichigo had... tried to kill him, but saved him. Then... dropped dead. Ryuuken hugged him, then... people invaded his house. Laughed at him. Argued over him. Two Ichigos. He ran. Ichigo came after him, but it was Ryuuken. Again. Then... he just left. Like everything was okay. And now... now he was...

Alone.

Uryuu's eyes snapped open, feeling sweat on his skin even before he felt the chill of it. The tightened muscles sprung him upward onto his feet, where he wavered and flailed, desperately trying to cling to the side of the tub for balance. He could hear them now; the shadows, closing in on him, slinking up to him...

Trying his best not to cry out, he lunged for the door, legs that were half asleep working against him in his sudden rush. It was only when he got to the door, slamming against it as he fumbled for the knob that he felt the rush of the pins and needles in his legs, making him whimper. Still, he forced his body onward, twisting the door knob this way and that several times before he finally got it to open, and he pitched himself out of the bathroom, onto the floor, dragging the door shut with him as he went.

Breathing heavily, he crawled backwards on the floor, away from the door, convinced the shadows would soon follow after him somehow, but no matter how hard he stared at the cracks under and above the door, nothing came after him. He swallowed, recognizing a throbbing pain in the back of his throat and how his tongue continued to stick to the roof of his mouth, but it was nothing he could worry about right now. Scrambling to his feet, he found the feeling in his legs made them wobble and give out on him, sending him tumbling straight back into the floor.

He hit his jaw on the floor when he went down, and for a moment, he closed his eyes again, trying his best not to allow the pain to take him. He wasn't sure why, but it was reaction at this point. Somewhere in his mind he knew that he should be ending the pain, not enduring it, but something kept him quiet, and that same something finally let the tears spill over the edges of his eyes. He was too weak to do anything right... he couldn't protect himself, much less end anything for himself. He was useless.

"Uryuu?"

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Ryuuken's POV)

Uryuu's head snapped up from where he lay sprawled out on the floor. Tears were spilling freely from hysteric eyes and his hair was a tangled mess spread out around his face, much unlike its usual tamed state. He looked... manic. For a single second, Ryuuken closed his eyes, but something told him not to look away. That he had to look at his son to help him. That he couldn't just ignore or forget anymore.

It was that something that drove him to set down the medicine and glass of water on Uryuu's end table next to the alarm clock, and walk over to help him up. At first, Uryuu resisted, but after a few minutes he just went entirely limp, like he had given up fighting. The thought mildly frightened Ryuuken, but he knew there were people he could call, books he could read, things he could do. He would get his son back, and this time... he would cherish him.

He helped Uryuu into bed, and handed him the medicine, urging him to take it. One of the pills was for the fever, which should get rid of it as long as it was coupled with sleep; the other pill was a sleeping aid. After the pills were taken, Ryuuken sat down with the boy, and despite the slight awkwardness of the silence between the two of them, he watched as Uryuu slowly started to relax before he slipped into unconsciousness around an hour later.

Yawning, Ryuuken gave his forehead a quick rub before standing up and reaching underneath the bed for the covers he'd found there before. Gently dragging one over Uryuu, he gave a sigh as he moved for the door, switching off the light and closing the door as far as it would go without the latch. He would check on him in a few hours, but right now, he had calls to make and books to read.

Sometimes, it paid to be a doctor with contacts.

Sometimes, it didn't pay enough.

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Ichigo's POV)

He could still feel the weight of the amulet, crushing into his soul, cracking everything around him and sending him spiraling downward. He could remember his Hollow shouting out to him, yelling for him to take it off, but he couldn't remember doing so. He couldn't even remember when everything went black, only that the weight carried over. He hurt: physically, mentally, and emotionally. His entire world was crumbling around him, and everything was his fault; all because of him. If he'd had better control of himself, of his Hollow... maybe no one would have ever gotten hurt.

Maybe those girls wouldn't have been raped, if his Hollow wasn't lying to him. Why would he though? What would he have to lie about, especially considering he didn't bother to lie about Uryuu... no, he gloated about him. He enjoyed hurting Uryuu, raping him, trying to... trying to...

He couldn't think. His thoughts were just as painful as whatever was holding him down, and the darkness was suffocating. He couldn't breathe, but his thoughts wouldn't leave him alone. He kept seeing Uryuu in class, swinging his book bag at him; seeing him at the ice cream parlor, evasive and nervous; seeing him screaming at the mirrors, pounding them until they broke all over him...

He saw Uryuu lying in the hospital, running from him, lying in the road about to be hit by a car, looking up at him with terrified eyes and begging him to just... kill him already. Even if it wasn't his Hollow that created those memories, he had still managed to do more harm to Uryuu than he had helped him, and that stung just as much as knowing what part of him did. What if he couldn't help Uryuu? Ever?

... What would happen if he didn't try to? Would Uryuu make a recovery without him? Or would his Hollow manage to seek him back out because Ichigo made the decision to break off all contact? He didn't know; he didn't know anything. All he knew was pain and pressure and weight and darkness and...

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~

Ichigo gasped as his entire body shot up into a sitting position, a small cover slipping past his shoulders to pool at his waist. He was lying on a couch and nothing but blurry darkness surrounded him, but as he wiped at his eyes, things began to clear up. It still took him a few moments to realize he was sitting at home in the living room, and when he did, his hand instantly clenched for his chest, trying to claw off the amulet. Finding it missing was both a relief and a trouble; it was supposed to help him suppress the Hollow, not kill them both!

He needed... he needed to talk to Urahara again. Maybe... this was a fluke? A weird side effect that wasn't known? Or maybe... there was just nothing that could be done, and Kisuke had known that.

... Was he really that much of a monster...?