"If you wish to keep a secret, you must also hide it from yourself."
- George Orwell

Aria watched as Ezra wrote the words on the blackboard, her pen twisting between her teeth. It was a nervous habit of hers, one which she coincidently picked up the day they received their first text from -A. She could hear Ezra clear his throat as he straightened the pile of papers in his hands. Her eyes snapped from the black board and locked with his. Coughing was his nervous tick Aria had noticed. It was his tell tail sign that he was uncomfortable, and it usually coincided with Arias involvement. Whenever Ezra coughed, Aria looked, as if he had called her name. Today she noticed that he was trying extra hard to inconspicuously get her attention. She had known what he wanted; she had not contacted him since she had turned up at his apartment covered in bruises. Ezra wanted answers and she just wasn't sure if she could give him any.

As the bell rang to signal the end of class, Aria prepared her self for the inevitable.

"Miss Montgomery, can I speak with you." Ezra stood at the front of the class shuffling papers, trying to look nonchalant.

"Actually, I really have to get to my next class." She quipped while gathering her belongings.

"It's in regards to your essay you handed in. It's extremely important."

Her friends had known better, but to any other student who may have heard him, It sounded like Aria was in a lot of trouble.

She motioned for her friends to go a head and then she joined Ezra at the front of the class.

"You didn't reply to any of my texts." She could tell he was trying to sound indifferent.

"Ezra-" she started, but he held up his hand.

"It's fine Aria. I was just worried about you."

More guilt rose in her chest. She wasn't sure what she could say to him; nothing would make him feel better. She starred up at her teacher, willing the words to come to her.

"I just need time." She finally breathed out. It was the safest thing she could say to him right now.

He nodded.

Aria could feel the disappointment radiating off him.

"I'd wait a thousand years if that's what it would take." Ezra made a move to rub Arias arm, but she instinctually flinched back. She regretted it immediately. It was just a reflex, and she cursed her father for turning her into the jumpy, paranoid mess she was now.

"Sorry." She whispered, but she knew the damage was done, she could see the hurt in his eyes.

"Aria, You would tell me if-" he stopped mid sentence, contemplating whether he should continue. "I just wouldn't be able to live with myself knowing that you were going through something-"

"Ezra stop." Aria grabbed his hands, holding them within her own.

"I am fine, I'm just freaking out about final exams." She could see him relax a little, but his face still held concern. "Look Ezra, I know how much you have been hurting since Maggie left with Malcolm. I've just been trying to give you space, I don't want you to think that I didn't want to be with you because of Malcolm."
He gripped her hands harder, his gaze intensifying. Aria continued. "I do love you Ezra, we just both have things we need to work through."

"So let's work through them together." He encourage. Aria smiled weakly at him and released his hands.

"I really do have to get to my next class." She pulled her bag tightly over her shoulder and gave Ezra one last smile before she left his classroom.

Aria couldn't focus all through History class, her mind kept going back to her conversation with Ezra. Her heart ached every time she thought about him. His concern for her well-being was overwhelming and every time she thought about everything he had done for her, her chest would swell with guilt and shame. Here was this man, who loved her completely, accepting all her flaws, and all she could do was lie to him. The constant battle in her mind was causing the pressure to build again, and the only thing that would help relieve it was Aria reminding her self that this would all be over when she left for college. There was only a few weeks left before she graduated and then she was free to move. She could leave her father without raising suspicion. That thought gave her a bit of hope, but her only concern was someone finding out before then. As long as nothing provoked her father in the next few week, she would be fine.

"Aria, are you going to eat anything?" Hanna's voice broke through Arias mind and she shook herself from her thoughts. She looked down to her uneaten tray of food and felt her stomach flip.

"I'm not hungry." She replied, pushing the tray away from her.

"I wouldn't be either if I had to eat the cafeteria food for lunch. Here have my salad." Hanna pushed her container to Aria, and her eyebrows rose in expectation.

"Honestly Hanna, I really couldn't eat anything." Hanna took her container back and didn't push the matter any further, but she kept sending Aria accusing looks.

"Would you all stop looking at me like that." Aria snapped finally as her three kept exchanging looks of pity.

"Sorry Aria." Emily spoke first. "We are just worried about you."

"I'm just freaking about our exams, and everything with Ezra-" Aria dipped her head, not wanting them to see through her lies. Spencer moved closer to Aria and placed an arm around her shoulder. Aria smiled at her in thanks.

"Honestly guys I'm fine, in a few weeks when we finally graduate I'll be back to normal." She smiled at her friends. "Come on, I can't be the only one freaking out about exams?" As she had expected, that got the girls distracted and talking about their on fears for Finals.

The rest of the day went quick for Aria and she arrived home to the sound of laughter from the kitchen. She didn't bother to stop, instead choosing to retreat to her room. Byron and Meredith wouldn't call her for dinner so she knew she could hide in her room all night. Once safely in her room, and the door firmly locked behind her, Aria dropped her bag on the floor and pulled a silvery book out from under her pillow.
She stared down at the blank page of her diary, totally lost for words. It had been a week since she had actually penned an entry into the silver book. But her life was on repeat and she couldn't keep writing the same things in day after day. Woke up alone, school, lied to friends, lied to Ezra, came home to an empty house, Byron came home drunk, new bruise, and repeat. Writing in her diary used to be an outlet for Aria, a keeper of her emotions, but now it was just a painful reminder of what her life had become. Aria looked up to the scissors that sat on her desk.

She had a new outlet now.

Putting her pen to paper, she wrote a single line.

Secrets, secrets are no fun; secrets, secrets hurt someone.

Just a short chapter for now. I've been working on a big chapter and I just wanted to slip something in for you while I finish this big one. Let me know what you think!

Snellee