A/N: Whoohoo! My 150th review! Thank you so much LadyGinoza! And of course, thank you to everyone else who reviewed! Again, sorry for the wait, but I tried to write a little each day, and this is what I came up with! Enjoy!

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Uryuu's POV)

For the first time in forever, he felt... calm. Like he was finally somewhere that Ichigo couldn't reach him; like he was somewhere safe. The thought was comforting, more so than it probably should have been, but he couldn't help himself. He felt warm and comfortable, and in that single moment, he would have given what was left of his soul to stay that way.

He didn't get a chance to make the trade.

Slowly, he became more aware of things around him. A soft cotton feeling against his chin and hands, and the way the ground curved to his body's shape, holding him up gently; the way it felt like his head was resting on some kind of soft down... It was relaxing and yet, it was puzzling. How long had it been since he'd felt like this? Slowly, his eyes blinked open, but the sight that met him wasn't right. Was he still dreaming?

It was dark; too dark, and through what tiny shapes he could make out without his glasses on, he thought his door was... open. But he'd locked it; he always locked it. And now it was open and that meant that Ichigo was...

Orange filled the darkness around him, and instantly Uryuu struggled to move backward on the bed only to find that his limbs got caught up in the covers, making it difficult to even inch backward. His breath hitched as Ichigo stalked closer to him, the shadows he controlled slinking over the bed toward him as he fought to get away. With a soundless yelp, Uryuu found himself falling backward suddenly, tangling up in the covers as he slipped over the side of the bed, landing harshly on his back on the floor.

The blanket smothered him, wrapping around him as he was forced to listen to Ichigo's steady footsteps toward him; trapped him while he was forced to watch and feel the shadows seeping through his defenses, crawling underneath his skin and shredding him from the inside. He struggled harder, his entire body shaking from the force of his fear, and he could feel the bile rising in his throat once more as orange once more came into sight, filling the room. He couldn't move, and couldn't think.

So he screamed. Through his scream, he could hear Ichigo laughing at him, and it was in that moment he could hear everyone: Rukia, Orihime, even Chad; all laughing at him. Calling him weak and unworthy. Vile, fragmented, broken, insane... He wasn't sure when the tears had slipped past his lashes, but the blinding blurs around the room told them they had. All he could hear was their laughter, their punishing words, and at some point, his entire body just seemed to cease its movement as well as his scream. He couldn't take it... he couldn't do this.

When hands came around his body, the most he could voice was a choked sob, but even that felt weak. The covers were ripped off his body, and he couldn't even find it in himself to try and protect his body from the assault to come. He just... laid there. Powerless to stop him.

Powerless.

"... Uryuu. I can train you... to return your powers."

For once it was Ryuuken's voice that sounded... caring. Concerned, even. It was a memory he was convinced was too good to be true, and yet... if it were real...

"... Uryuu."

He could still hear the voice, and somehow it drowned out the laughter around him, slowly making the pain of the shadows crawling inside him bearable again. He could feel the tears slipping off his nose even as suddenly his face was pressed into cotton, and despite the sudden flare of panic that rose within him, the voice became louder; more insistent.

More present.

"Uryuu!"

His eyes snapped open, sucking in a gasp of air around Ryuuken's shirt even as he felt his entire body slowly relax. The light was on again, and the shadows were melting out of him, frightened by Ryuuken's presence. The blanket had been thrown off him, and the only thing around him was his father's arms, and for a long moment Uryuu felt like he was teetering on the edge of breaking down completely and wanting to crush his father in an embrace. He did neither. Instead, he just sat there, dumbfounded, unable to register what had happened again. He hated it. He hated his entire life.

Nothing made sense anymore. Nothing except he was too weak to handle anything.

"Uryuu, are you alright?"

Ryuuken's voice mocked him; why aren't you strong enough to deal with this yourself, Uryuu? Why do you always have to have someone come and save you, Uryuu?

The words were out of his mouth before he could think about what he was saying.

"I want to train. I want... I want to be stronger."

He might have winced at the words spoken, but even to himself, his voice sounded distant; numb. He wasn't sure how long he could keep this up, pretending to keep on living like before, but the way he saw things, this was his last chance. He would either regain his powers and manage to put up a better fight... or die trying. There would be no middle ground.

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Ichigo's POV)

He couldn't find the amulet anywhere, and it was freaking him out a little bit. He'd already lost too many hours to his Hollow already, to lose something else just seemed... like the world itself was going out of its way to punish him for something he didn't know he did. Running a hand through his hair, Ichigo stood, abandoning the frantic search of the living room for the amulet, fighting back the hysteria that the charm had done absolutely nothing. He was still back at square one, and driving himself crazy in the dead of night over everything that happened.

With a frustrated sigh, he dropped his hand as he turned back toward the living room, his eyes roaming over the mess he'd made in his search, before turning toward the walls, mentally pinpointing his father's room and each of his sister's rooms. He'd raped Uryuu. He'd hurt two other women. ... what could have happened to his family in that time? Would his Hollow have turned to Yuzu for his sadistic fun? Or would it have been Karin that he tried to hurt?

Balling his hands into fists tight enough to cause his knuckles to turn white, Ichigo turned away sharply, reaching for the door handle and tugging it open sharply, he let the sudden sounds of the night stretch over him, calming his thoughts for a few moments. He took a few deep breaths; reminders that he could be strong enough for everyone; and stepped out, gently closing the door behind him. The darkness of the night closed around him, and with a quiet shiver, Ichigo wrapped his arms around his torso as he stepped away from his house, as much to shield himself from his thoughts as to keep out the sharp wind.

What could he do from here? What was he even supposed to do? Any contact with Uryuu would send him into a state of panic, one that perhaps not even Ichigo could save him from, try as he might... and no contact with Uryuu might cause his Hollow to go out of control again. That was, if he was to take the white bastard at his word, which Ichigo could hardly do to begin with. He was sadistic, twisted, and yet... his words rang true. His fingers dug into his arms as he replayed the words his Hollow had taunted him with.

"I'm the reason you're no longer a fucking virgin."

The idea behind those words still made his blood run cold, but he couldn't for the life of himself remember the event. Was it with Uryuu? Was it with the girls? Shaking his head, Ichigo forced the idea from his mind; at least for the moment. He really wasn't sure he even wanted to remember, whether he could or not. Taking a few more deep breaths, Ichigo let his pace quicken, his legs taking him to his destination as if he were on auto-pilot; a path walked enough times it allowed him this time for wayward thoughts, no matter how painful. So he walked, his thoughts churning in his mind and blotting out all else as he neared Urahara's shop, but the thing that brought him out of those thoughts... was voices.

Familiar voices. Ichigo stopped in his tracks, just outside of the shop, his curiosity briefly drowning out his previous emotions. The lights were on, and there were two shadows behind the curtains, one skinny with a hat - Urahara, obviously - and one slightly taller and of a much larger build. The voice was low and rumbling, and for a moment, Ichigo stood there, wracking his brain to try and figure out who the voice belonged to.

Their words hit him long before the realization did.

"- understand your concern, but something like that can't -"

"He has to be stopped. He's already killed one that I know of, and as much as I've tried to, I can't protect them both."

"... You realize what that means, right?"

"I know."

"Do you? Instead of saving them both, you might be destroying them instead. Both of them."

"I can't just stand around and do nothing anymore. I can't watch this happen again."

"... If that's really how you feel, Chad..."

Ichigo backed away from the window as quietly as he could. He knew the conversation was continuing, and he knew that something bad was about to happen. So Chad had... he'd actually... he thought of him as a threat. Chad... of all people, even he recognized a threat when he saw it, and... Ichigo was a threat. The idea that everyone was turning against him only seemed to reinforce the fact he had become a monster, and the idea nearly drove him to tears. It really was all his fault, and there wasn't anything he could do except... run.

But what would that do?

Ichigo found a shiver running down his spine at the words that echoed in his mind, even as he backed into Urahara's fence, his body pressing further into the wood as if he could disappear in that manner. There was only one voice he knew that had that particular... echo.

If they're going to kill you, there's no where you can run that you can hide from them.

Ichigo swallowed, trying not to let the trembling he felt in his muscles show physically even as he turned, trying to remember which way he'd entered the shop grounds from, but with his Hollows words ringing out in the back of his head, it was getting extremely hard to concentrate.

Just give in. Do what -

NO!

Ichigo brought both hands to his head and took hold of his hair, yanking on it to try and drown out the voice with the pain. He couldn't listen. He couldn't give in; he was the only thing standing between his own sanity and... well. His Hollow. He couldn't allow it to take over. He couldn't allow his Hollow's thoughts to override his own. He couldn't allow -

The truth to shade your actions?

He took off in a dead run into the night. This time, he didn't know where he was headed, or what his goals were. He just knew the laughter inside his head was drowning out everything else he could possibly think about right now.

He needed to fight this - he just didn't know how, and now... he was on his own.