He was floating for a moment, everything seemed to stop for a moment before gravity took over pulling him down and making his body felt alive and full of adrenaline. But before he could go far he felt something grabbing him around his middle and bringing him back up, to aromas that were waiting to close around him and keep him away from the edge. Having his dream taking away from him after being so close, he turned to desperate anger to get free, fighting over the person and kicking and trashing and throwing punches blindly, just so he could get away.
But the other just kept on holding tighter to him, grunting when he got hit but never once loosening his grip on him. Suddenly Harry just stopped fighting and instead broke out in tears, choking on them and just feeling weary and tired of everything. All the feelings he had been suppressing, all the deaths he had not allowed himself to grieve, all the lost opportunities and all the memories he had tried to forget came out at once, threatening to take over him and break him apart.
He was crying silently now, and the other boy had loosened his arm, just holding him and running his finger through his hair. Harry clung to him, afraid to let go and just let himself feel. All his emotions were running free and left him feeling lighter, as if a weight over his shoulders had been lifted. He was finally feeling alive, not just the shadow of it. It was real this time, the emptiness completely gone, and he could feel him relaxing.
He slowly became aware of the body that was holding him, the firmness of the arms around him and the calming touch of the fingers in his hair. Harry opened up his fist, letting go of the fabric and flattening out the wrinkles he had made on the shirt. His head was laying on the chest of the other, raising along his breaths and calming him further. Almost without thinking he started drawing circles on the shirt, smiling slightly when he felt the other shiver and the fingers in his hair stop for a moment before continuing their movement.
They stayed like that for a few moments, just enjoying each other's company. But then, the other sighed, long fingers coming down to his check in a soft caress that left Harry wanting more and then lifting his chin up. Harry kept his eyes down, not wanting the confront him, knowing he had acted impulsively and without thinking. He knew the other wanted answers, and he just felt stupid now by the way he had acted.
"Potter. Look at me." He tried to move his head, but he wasn't letting him to do it. "Please, Harry."
It was the plead accompanied of his name that made him look. The grey eyes that were usually cold and indifferent were full of emotion. He could read worry, fear, frustration, anger and something he could not quite name. Concern, care? The blonde had never been so open to him before, and he realized amused that Malfoy kept surprising him. But the amusement died quickly in the face of the emotions Malfoy was displaying, being obviously distressed. He could read the question easily enough in his eyes, wanting to know the reason.
"You were gone." And really, that was the real reason. "You were gone and I just couldn't face it, and I wasn't thinking, I just wanted to get it all over, and I'm sorry, I'm so sorry."
He kept apologizing, tears once again in his eyes, and Malfoy whispered calming words, rocking him didn't take so long for him to calm down again, and Malfoy explained to him that his father had passed down the Lordship to him and so he had to go away to get all thing in orders and he hadn't meant to make feel the other like he was not wanted. He went on saying that he had come back that evening and went looking for him to explain it all, but had not found him and when he asked his friends they told him about how he was back to being unresponsive and that the last time they had seen him he looked as if he was determined, but they didn't know where he went even when they tried to follow him. And Harry was feeling even worse, because he had acted once again without thinking, not having all the facts and no matter how many times Malfoy denied it he knew it was his fault. That he had made all the people who loved him worry, and if he had jumped earlier or if Malfoy wasn't there on time, he would have made them suffer uselessly.
He would cry again, but he had no tears left and could only stare at his hands blankly, hating himself for never doing the right thing. Malfoy garbed his chin once more and made him look at him to the eyes.
"Listen to me. It's not your fault. We know you suffered the most, and still have to heal. No one blames you for taking your time, you deserve it. If anything, is our fault for not making sure you were safe, and that we didn't show you that you are loved. I know you think no one loves you, but you are wrong. I don't care if your uncle said otherwise, he was a despicable man who doesn't know anything. The wizarding world loves you. The Weasley's love you. Your friends love you" Malfoy hesitated for a moment and the continued on. "I love you. Don't let them win Harry. You're not a freak. You are an amazing person and someone who deserves the best".
Harry could only stare, not knowing what to say. He wanted to believe Malfoy, no, Draco's words, and he almost could. But the doubt kept nagging at him, years of being told how freaks could not be loved ingrained into him. And then he suddenly realized, Draco had said that he loved him. How had he not seen that before? He didn't know what to do, he didn't even know what his preferences were. He had never wondered whether he liked boys or girls, too occupied during the war and too depressed after it. Draco smiled sadly, as if he could read his confusion, and just hugged him murmuring it was okay. Harry could hear all the other meanings behind it, it was okay if he was confused, it was okay if he didn't know, it was okay if he didn't love him back.
They fell silent once more, still holding each other and watching as the night came to an end and the sun rose up, marking their time together to an end. They both got up, Draco holding his hand for a few seconds before stepping back and whispering a see you later to him. Harry looked outside once more but didn't felt the need to get near the edge, so he just turned around and left.
"Good morning."
The sound of a book dropping to the floor and Ron choking on food almost made him laugh, if it wasn't for the implications they drew. Had he really been so far way that a simple fact as greeting them was a shocking event? Harry felt sadness and anger at himself. God, he had really been a jerk, hadn't he?
"Yes, you have." Ron said. Harry blinked, he must have said that out loud. But Ron didn't look mad, and Hermione was smiling so wide it looked comical.
"I'm sorry." Those seemed to be the only words he kept saying lately.
"Don't be. We are just happy to have you back." Hermione stated, before frowning slightly "You are, aren't you? You are not going to disappear on us again?"
"I'll try not to." That seemed to be the right answer, as they just smiled and fillies him in about what had been happening lately. He tried to take it all in, but he was sure he had missed some of the things. Oh well, he could ask them again later, they would be happy to tell him again.
Things went back to normal, or as normal as it could be with him. He started to pay attention in class, interacted with his friends and other people regularly and started to get his grades up. Surprisingly, it seemed he had not been so far away as to be completely lost about what they were learning. Still, his work hadn't been so good and now that he was making an effort it showed. His conversations with Draco continued, both of them opening up more than before and telling each other everything. Oh, they both kept secrets, but anything besides that was completely shared between them. They still meet up in the Tower sometimes, but started to go to other places again, mostly out of the way of people. Harry also started to pay attention to the way Draco's eyes twinkled when he was excited, or how his lips could make the most perfect smile he had seen or how his face could glow under the moonlight. He kept blushing when he said something complimenting him, and getting butterflies when he dedicated one of his rare smiles to him. Draco also told him about his friends, not Crabbe and Goyle, but Theo, Daphne and Blaise. Their way to have fun was obviously Slytherin, but in the end they reminded him of his own friends. Harry also told him more about Ron and Hermione, all about the little things Draco didn't know that made him realize they might be not so different.
One day, some weeks after that day, Ron and Hermione felt it was safe to ask him what had made him come back. They were by the lake, having completed all their homework and just enjoying the time together. Harry was reading a book, or trying to, as his mind kept going back to Draco and him. In fact, Hermione had to call him several times before he finally noticed her attempts at getting his attention, and asking what she had obviously wanted to know for so long. Harry stared at her, at a loss of words.
"Harry?" Great, now she was worried.
"I don't know."
"Don't give us that crap." Ron said. "We're your friends, aren't we?"
"It's the truth." Harry replied annoyed. "I have no idea why then, is something that I'm still trying to figure out. I have some theories, but it's all very confusing."
"Maybe we can help." Hermione offered, "If you tell us what you know, we might be able to see something you didn't."
Harry considered it, his eyes wandering around the grounds and the other students that were also relaxing outside. He caught sight of the blonde watching him intently, giving the slightest of nods towards Ron and Hermione direction before turning back. Harry stared at him, and then back to his waiting friends and realized that he had hurt his friends enough, and they just wanted to know. After all he had made it them go through, it was the least he could do. So, taking a deep breath, he started talking. It took longer than he had thought, as they kept asking questions and making sure he did not forget anything. He avoided all about his suicidal thoughts but he was sure they knew why he had been at the Astronomy Tower. They also didn't seem surprised at all when he mentioned Draco, nor did they say anything against him, even when he admitted Draco had said he loved him. After he had explained all the best he could, Ron and Hermione looked at each other as if they knew something he didn't. Hermione confirmed it by saying that she was sure he would figure everything out soon. But it was Ron comment what really confused him:
"Malfoy might be the biggest prat in the world, but as long as he makes you happy and keeps you here, I don't care what you guys do together. Just, please, spare me of any details."
It was a specially clam night, the wind reduced to a soothing breeze that made him smile lightly. He still thought the ground looked like a green sea, but for once this didn't make him want to jump. If anything, he was amazed by its beauty and how the night could change the view so much that it looked otherworldly. The soft light of the moon and the stars made everything glow, and he wouldn't have been surprised if all kind of magical creatures gathered down there, when no humans could bother them. Assuming they would even notice, as far as he knew only a few people were like Luna, being able to see beyond what was there.
"Are you going to stand there all night?" Harry asked softly, his mind drawn back to the day when those same words had come out of his mouth. Everything was so different now. Everything had fallen silent, as if the night was waiting for an answer. It didn't have to wait long, the sound of a robe moving and the heat of a body stopping behind him, almost touching him and a warm breath against his cheeks as lips whispered the expected answer in his ear:
"It depends, do you intend that long in here?"
Harry chuckled softly, leaning against the body behind him and feeling arms wrap around him. Draco rested his chin on his shoulder, and they both stood there looking outside as if words were not needed. And honestly, they weren't. Harry thought back to his conversation with Ron and Hermione and had a feeling that they were right, and he already knew the answer as to why he had come back. Draco seemed to be on the same track of thoughts, because his next words were:
"I saw you talking with your friends today."
"I know." Harry replied, trying to act as if his heart was not beating wildly in his chest. Draco had turned his head and Harry was finding it difficult to concentrate. "They know almost everything now, and seemed to be fine with it. Hermione is just happy that I'm better and happy now and Ron kept saying that he doesn't care as long who I spend time with as he gets his friend back. I think he might talk with you sometime soon, but he didn't tell me anything."
"I see." Draco said, looking at him intently. "You still didn't tell them about your... attempt." He obviously found hard to think about it and tightened his hold in him as if afraid he was going to try again. But Harry knew that wasn't the only thing that was bothering the blonde, after all he had known about his suicidal thoughts way before they had started talking. Harry turned around in his arms, so he could look at his face, finding it a little guarded and feeling hurt and sad that Draco didn't seem to trust him. He must have let it show in his face because his expression softened and one hand came to his check, grey eyes shining brightly with love and a little sad smile.
Harry didn't know what made him do it, maybe his heart had know all along but he had been too blind to see it. He just knew that he could not stand the sight of Draco sad and hurting because of him, and before he could even think about it he had bring their lips together in a soft kiss. Draco was so still that Harry worried he had done something wrong and started to back away, but then lips pressed against him and hands held him close, not letting him get away. Harry didn't hold back then, letting go of thoughts and working on his instincts, giving as much as he got. Somehow they ended up laying on the floor, Harry on top of Draco breathing heavily and marveling the sight of him flushed and disheveled, so unlike him. Harry rested his head on his chest, listening to the beating of Draco's heart, feeling more happy that he remembered in a long time. Draco wrapped his arm around him, moving them around and conjuring a soft blanket so they were laying more comfortably on the floor. Harry relished on the moment, knowing that he had come along a great way and he was ready to move on from the war. Draco kissed him at the top of his head, and Harry knew everything would be alright and he wouldn't be alone as they both waited for the night to end.
A/N: Here is the last part of the two-shot! What do you think? I've tried to make it good, I hope I succeeded. Adios!