Chapter Twelve

In took a moment for Aria to realise where she was. She could feel an arm draped over her middle, and for a brief second she felt panic rising in her stomach. As if he sensed her discomfort, Ezra shifted in his sleep, revealing his face to her. She breathed a sigh of relief and relaxed back into to warmth of his bed. It was only a single bed and a very tight fit for both of them, but she enjoyed the closeness none the less.

Last night had been amazing; a dim light in her otherwise pitch black world. It had been so long since Aria felt anything but pain and hatred that she was still on the high of her night with Ezra. She felt giddy, like a teenager who had one to many Vodka Cruisers on an empty stomach. But she knew the feeling wouldn't last and she chided herself for getting her hopes up. Her father would return soon and everything would go back to the way it was; a notion that made Aria feel sick with dread.

With fresh nausea flooding her stomach, Aria slipped carefully out from under Ezra's arm, and walked quietly to her handbag, picking up pieces of her clothing as she went. She dressed in silence and quietly exited his apartment, feeling like a one night stand sneaking out to avoid the awkwardness of the morning after. Aria felt guilty for leaving Ezra without saying goodbye, and hopped that she could make it up to him later. He had been so understanding with her and had not pushed the issue and had even agreed to let her open up to him when she was ready. He also admitted that he had his own demons, Malcolm and Maggie, that he needed to work through. No one needed to tell her how lucky she was to have Ezra in her life, she counted her blessings ever day, if only she wasn't a hinderance to his. But Aria was slipping out of his apartment to avoid the inevitable conversation about them having slept together after months of being apart. She knew he would charm her back into a relationship and Gods knew what would happen to not only herself, but Ezra also if her father found out. Aria wouldn't be able to handle anything happening to Ezra because of her. She just wasn't worth it.

Having remember that she didn't have her car, Aria pulled her phone from her pocket and dialled Spencer's number.

"This had better be good Montgomery."

Aria stifled a laugh. Spencer was never any good at sounding threatening. "I need you to come pick me up from Ezra's, and no questions okay Spence, it's too early."

"I'll be there in 10." Aria could hear the rustling of bed sheets and then Spencer added: "There had better be a coffee and bagel waiting for me." And then promptly hung up.

Aria smiled to herself; Tired and cranky Spencer was her favourite. She enjoyed the sarcasm and witt that came along with her friends foul mood.

It was a short walk to the coffee shop on the corner of Ezra's block, one which she had visited many times with him on their weekends off together. It was small, only enough room for two tables,which they managed to get every time they came. The walls were painted a warm yellow and from them hung pictures of landscapes of Paris. The smell of the freshly baked pastries and ground coffee beans sent a wave of memories flooding back to Aria, and she found herself using the back of a chair to steady herself from the overwhelming emotions. She had once gushed to Ezra about how much she would love to visit France to see the Eiffel Tower and then travel to England to explore Anne Hathaway's cottage. Ezra had gazed over his coffee at her, a smiled planted on his face. He had promised to one day take her there and Aria had never felt her heart swell as it did at that moment.

Aria felt her chest tightened and the familiar sting behind her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she shook away her memories and forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat. She made her way to cafés register and order the coffee and bagel she had promised Spencer.

Spencer pulled up in front of where Aria was waiting, a thick pair of sunglasses on and the windows rolled down. "'Get in loser, we're going shopping.'"

Aria laughed, impressed at her friends ever present sense of humour despite how early in the morning it was. Aria handed the promised coffee to Spencer, and then took a sip of her own beverage.

"So-" Spencer drawled as she took the first sip. "You spent the night."

Aria threw a look to her friend. "Hey, I said no questions!"

Spencer snorted. "That wasn't a question, merely an observation. So, how was it?"

Arias eyes widened in surprise and her mouth pursed shut. Spencer took one look at Aria and choked on the sip of coffee she had taken.

"God no, get your mind out of the gutter Aria. I meant how was your night, but thanks for confirming that you slept with Ezra."

Arias cheeks reddened and she let her hair fall around her to create a barrier. Spencer snickered and pulled out into the traffic.

"How are you feeling anyway? You gave us a scare yesterday."

Although Spencer couldn't see it, Arias cheeks flushed darker. "I'm fine, I think it's just the stress of trying to graduate." Spencer nodded in understanding, having dealt with the stress in her own dangerous way.

Aria and Spencer continued their idle conversation all the way back to Spencer's house, where they spent the rest of the morning until it was time for school. On the drive in, they stopped to pick up Hanna, who spent the rest of the car ride giggling about a rumour she had heard about a fellow senior.

"-I kid you not. Apparently the whole school is calling her 'Spewy McGee'." Hanna laughed.

"That's horrible." Aria commented, but Hanna simply shrugged her shoulders and flipped open her phone. "Yeah well, she has gym with us first period so we can try and look for her baby bump."

Aria shook her head, amazed at how insensitive her friend could be sometimes. Once they had pulled into the car park, Aria made a desperate attempt to ditch Hanna, but it was useless, as the feisty blonde linked her arms with Aria and began pulling her towards their first class. Aria didn't even attempt to tune into Hanna one sided conversation; only nodding occasionally to feign interest. She couldn't help her mind slipping back to Ezra. The image of him laying naked under the sheets of his bed sent a shiver down her spine, she wanted nothing more then to be nestled in beside him, their naked bodies pressed together as one. Guilt then rose in her chest as she thought of him waking up and realising she had snuck out. She ought to have left a note and she knew English class today was going to be awkward.

As the girls walked into the locker room, Arias stopped dead. It was a sight she had seen many times before; her fellow peers changing in front of each other. But Aria had totally forgotten that since it was coming into winter, that all outdoor activities turned into indoor activities and that meant swimming. Ordinarily Aria would jump at the chance of showing of her slender body in a swim suit, but she knew her body was not what is used to be, and the thought of someone seeing it terrified her.

Aria excused herself from Hanna and went looking for the teacher, who she spotted at the back of the room taking attendance.

"Sorry Coach Fulton But I can't swim today." The older woman flipped the pages back down on her clipboard and looked up to Aria.

"And what is the reason this week, Miss Montgomery?"

"Well, it's just that-" she hesitated before leaning in closer and lowering her voice. "It's that time of month." Her cheeks flushed slightly, fully aware that some of the other girls had heard and were sniggering.

"We are not in the dark ages any more Miss Montgomery, we have this fantastic invention called the tampon. Now go suit up."

Arias cheeks darkened even further. "I didn't bring a swimsuit."

Coach Fulton sighed then turned to the rest of the class. "Does anyone have a spare suit Aria can borrow?"

Hanna raised her hand with a smile and reached into her locker. Fulton looked at Aria pointedly then walked away.

"It was a nice try." Hanna laughed as she passed her spare suit to Aria. The rest of the class had filed out into the aquarium leaving the two girls alone.

"You don't have to wait for me." Aria pressed, fully conscious that Hanna would see her undressing.

"Don't be silly, of course I do. Besides, I wanted to ask you how you are feeling after yesterday."

Aria sighed as she turned away from Hanna, trying to hide her frustration.

"I'm okay, just the stress of the final few weeks of school, you know?"

"I totally get it, only yesterday I was telling Em..." But Hanna's breath stopped dead on her lips as Aria pulled her dress off over her head.

"Geez Aria." Hanna's hand had moved to cover her mouth in shock. Aria wrapped her arms around her body protectively and let her hair fall around her face. Hanna was no stranger to the effects of an eating disorder; she recognised the jutting hip bones and dull look of Arias skin straight away.

"I had no idea." Hanna whispered hoarsely as she closed the gap between them and placed her hand on Arias shoulder. "I get it, I really do. When I first found out my parents were breaking up I thought, sweet, two Christmases, two birthdays-"

Aria swallowed the lump in her throat and kept her head down, not saying a word. Hanna had obviously come to the wrong conclusion about Arias skinny frame, and that might have been a saving grace. As long as no one suspected her fathers involvement then everything was fine and dandy.

"-But when the reality of what a separated family truly meant began to sink in and I couldn't cope. It was the only way I could control my life." Hanna admitted sadly and then added with an indignant tone, "Alison actually had the nerve to believe that she was the reason I was loosing weight." She shook her head and rubbed Arias shoulders reassuringly and then her tone lightened. "The good news is I'm a pro at eating disorders, so we can get through this together."

Aria had never thought she would have something in common with Hanna, and at that moment she felt an adoration for her friend she had never felt before. She smiled weakly and moved forward to pull Hanna into a hug. Even though Hanna had gotten it completely wrong, Aria couldn't help the sadness that engulfed her. She had been so caught up in hiding her fathers abuse, that she never really had the chance to mourn the loss of her mother to another country and the daunting realisation that her family would never go back to the way it was. Gone where the days of picnics at the beach, and pizza while playing board games together. Those happy memories where beginning to fade, only to replaced by ones she wished she could forget. Aria couldn't remember the point where it had all gone wrong; the exact moment that lead to where she was today. If everything happens for a reason, then the daily tragedies and misfortunes are all meaningful events, leading toward an ideal conclusion.

But Aria couldn't help wondering: what was her conclusion?