A/N: Hey guys! Here's a super early, super long chapter to help make up for lost time. Enjoy! (Extra special thanks to LadyGinoza and Baerbelhaddrell for your reviews, glad to see you were able to stick this out with me!)

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Ryuuken's POV)

Exiting Keto's make-shift office for the night, Ryuuken managed to make it as far as the opposite wall before collapsing his shoulder against the tile. Knowing the halls were quiet and abandoned this time of night, he let his left hand rise to his chest to clutch at the fabric constricting around his already aching skin. It was difficult to breathe, and every forced breath felt like molten liquid in his lungs; that same heat that felt like it was dissolving his nerves from the inside out.

His muscles felt tight and weak, ready to give way despite his conviction to remain standing or moving. Definitely moving. He had to make sure he was out of range of sight of the room, lest Uryuu suspect anything more happened in his training than him receiving his powers back. Lowering his hand from his chest, he scowled as he forced his limbs to move on his command, away from the door.

He made it halfway down the hall before he collapsed on the floor.

He understood now, what Soken had warned him of. He understood, and the realization hit him that he had never truly listened to the old man's words when he should have clung to them dearly. He should have trusted his father the way Uryuu had hung on his words and followed them like gospel. He understood now the emptiness, the feeling of being void of everything that was losing the birthright gifted to him; he understood the searing agony of having the Quincy powers severed from his blood.

That many before him, Uryuu included, had experienced this feeling and survived gave him no solace as he struggled to lean his back against the wall, his legs spread before him. Closing his eyes, he allowed his thoughts to overtake him as he allowed the last wall to crumble, his face distorting in pain. It had taken everything out of him to keep up his facade, and now he was left gasping for breath, unable to move on the floor of his own hospital. Uryuu would have no idea the sacrifice Ryuuken made this night, and if he had anything to say about the situation, Uryuu never would.

Still, he couldn't help the nagging dread pooling in the pit of his stomach that something very wrong was building tonight; something that would negate every effort he had put into tonight to rebuild his son's sanity. The air around him just had that sinister feel, and he couldn't tell if it was because there was something truly wrong, or if it was his empty body crying out for the loss of what it had always known.

He knew he had almost hesitated for too long during that final moment. That Uryuu had used Heizen against him had surprised him almost enough to miss the opening his son had given him, and the sheer panic that flooded his veins as he pulled all his reishi into that one shot had almost distracted him enough to miss. His entire body had seemed to fight his own will in that final moment as he shot the arrow, and convictions aside, he had been unable to remain standing after the arrow had left his bow.

The acute pain came immediately as the arrow was released, and he felt every inch of his body as it began to burn with the loss, as if a spectral hand had reached inside him and tore apart everything he was or would ever be. He was on his knees before he had even registered the explosion next to him that was the deadly attack he had barely managed to avoid, and within moments as the debris settled, he watched the fading light of the Quincy arrow being absorbed into Uryuu's body as the boy fell backward.

He could no longer feel the soft heat of his bow in his hand, nor the comfort of the Quincy bloodline thrumming through his veins. The only feeling he felt then was the same feeling carried over into the now; an empty pain, coupled with the knowing that he could have made the wrong choice. Uryuu was obviously not in his right mind, and despite his efforts, the boy always seemed to take one step forward followed by several steps backward. He was sick, and having his powers returned could only end up harming him further instead of helping the issue.

He had only to hope that his choice was the right one, even as misty eyes opened to watch nothing in particular. Unbidden, a memory he used to hear frequently rang out in the back of his mind, drawing his attention inward once more.

"Ryuu... Uryuu is -"

"I know."

Oh, how his arrogance had gotten the better of him, he thought wistfully. If only he had thought it through more, if only he had listened more closely to Soken's words. If only...

"Then you know there may come a time when the situation calls for a power he does not possess, and yet he will suffer through it anyway, potentially destroying him."

"Then it will be his own fault, and no trouble of mine. The Quincies will die with your generation."

"Oh, Ryuuken. I hope one day you will look past your anger at the Shinigami, for what happened with Masaki was no one's fault, least of all your own..."

"Tread carefully, old man."

"All I'm saying is there may come a day when you will have to decide Uryuu's future for him."

"There are no second chances in life. He will learn, or he will not. It is no business of mine."

He wished he had taken the conversation more seriously; given it more thought, at the very least. Through it all, he had rejected Soken's advice, and in the end, had rejected his own son because of his own hatred for the world. In that sense, that was the only thing his father had been wrong about; he had brought this all on himself. If he had been a better father to Uryuu, they wouldn't be in the situation they were in this moment. If he had been a better son, Soken might not have left them when he did, and their home wouldn't feel so... broken. If he had been wiser, stronger... if he had just been better, then maybe none of this would have happened.

But there are no second chances in life. He had the chance to learn, and he did not, and now Uryuu is paying the price for his folly.

Now he could only hope there was still time left to make things right.

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Ichigo's POV)

Breaking free of what darkness had surrounded him for who knows how long was like breaking the surface of icy water; it left him shaking, numb, and gasping for air as he landed harshly on his hands and knees in the middle of a cratered building. His forehead dripped with sweat as his eyes struggled to adjust to the sudden brightness around him, and hesitantly, he lifted his head to glance around. Shocked by what he found, it looked like something had destroyed his inner world.

The buildings were all cracked and cratered, with what looked like long, wide fissures separating once whole buildings, creating an almost post apocalyptic scenery which was only enhanced by the strange an ominous spider-web cracks in the sky. The clouds were distorted, and sometimes disappeared completely in the black cracks and pieces missing, giving the entire area a foreboding feeling. Like something had happened, and whatever that something was, it frightened him.

The shock wasn't enough for him to forget what he had struggled so hard to get here for, and with a sudden roar of rage, he focused everything he had; not on just calling for his Hollow, but on forcing his Hollow out of hiding and making it face him. Instead of the Hollow coming to meet him, however, it felt like he was starting to get tired, his muscles tensing and releasing perfectly in time with his usual running motion. In front of his eyes, he watched the shattered inner world slowly fade into a view of Karakura town with buildings and vehicles whizzing by at an almost blinding speed.

It was only then that he heard the insane cackling fill his mind.

'So ya finally figured yer way out, did'ja, King?'

'What are you doing?!'

Unable to help his frantic cry, Ichigo struggled, suddenly feeling like a prisoner to his own body, unable to stop himself from moving forward in a full out run. Not being able to control his own muscles sent his heart racing faster than the physical exertion was pushing it to go, but amid his panic Ichigo began to focus on where exactly he was headed, and the thought sent his entire mind into a frenzy.

"NO!"

Surprised that his lips had actually formed the word, and that his vocal chords had responded to his plea, and it only made him struggle harder to put a stop to the legs that wouldn't listen to him. He had to turn around, had to leave, he couldn't be here...!

'Fight all ya want, King, ya had yer chance an' ya wasted it. Now I'm takin' matters int'a my own hands, whether ya like it 'er not.'

Ichigo wasn't sure what he feared the most in that moment: that he couldn't contain the hollow any longer, or the direction in which they were headed.

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Uryuu's POV)

It felt like several hours had flown by already, but a glance toward the clock on the wall showed Uryuu that he had only been talking with Keto for about an hour at best. It felt amazing, how many subjects they had covered already, from Uryuu's missed school days to what his favorite comfort food was, and as exhausted as he felt, he wasn't sure he was ready for it to end. For the first time in a long while, he felt secure enough to be able to actually talk about normal things with a normal person, and this was only one of the many times he had to blink back tears of happiness so they wouldn't spill.

Listening to the scratch of pen on paper had become a soothing sound compared to his anxiety about it before, and as he waited on Keto's next question, he caught himself thinking he really wouldn't mind coming back to talk to him a few more times. That thought was ground to a halt by the words that floated into his ears as he tried to process it, and his answer.

"How do you feel when a problem comes up unexpectedly?"

How was he supposed to answer such a question? As he sat there, mulling over what answer would be expected of a Quincy, he was startled to hear Keto amend,

"Remember, no feeling is right or wrong, good or bad. Every person experiences problems differently, with different emotions. So when a problem does arise for you, how does it typically make you feel inside?"

Still unsure how to answer the question, but startled away from his earlier line of thinking, Uryuu's lips began forming words before he even realized what he was saying.

"I... don't know how to explain it...?"

"Do issues around you make you feel angry? Perhaps worried, or frightened?"

"I'm not scared."

Uryuu cringed when Keto nodded, and suddenly the scratch of pen on paper regressed from being soothing to ominous once more as the man lowered his head to watch what he wrote. He had answered too quickly, too harshly, and if he wasn't careful, his report was going to tell everyone he was insane. Trying as hard as he could to quiet his quickening breath, he watched as Keto returned his gaze to Uryuu, and continued like nothing had happened,

"How often do you experience problems that make you feel threatened?"

'Right now,' was his first thought, but he wasn't sure at this point whether to lie or tell the honest truth. If he was honest, he might very well be labeled insane, and ruin what little ground he'd managed to build with his father. If he lied... there almost seemed no downside to lying until he opened his mouth to try and force it out. His chest throbbed with the worry of being alone in his struggle, and the want to trust the man whom he'd been able to talk with so freely just minutes ago.

Even as he struggled with his answer, Keto sat across from him, waiting patiently as he tried to find the words to tell him, and finally, with a sudden chill that ran up his spine, Uryuu conceded carefully,

"Often enough." It was true, but he hoped desperately that it was evasive enough to not arise too much suspicion.

"Then have there been times where this problem hasn't happened, or when you've noticed that the problem went away on it's own?"

He could feel panic starting to set in, constricting his chest as he listened to Keto's probing. How could he know...? How could he talk like he knew exactly what the 'problem' was? Even he hadn't understood what Keto was referring to until now, but how could he not be talking about Ichigo? How could he not know how he saw him every waking moment; how Ichigo would chase him to the ends of the earth until he was dead? But... he asked something odd, too. When the problem hadn't happened, or went away... when Ichigo went away or didn't show up.

Despite his panic, Uryuu's brows furrowed slightly, and in confusion and curiosity, he indulged himself by taking a tentative look into his memory, searching for an answer. Had there been times when Ichigo disappeared...? He thought as hard as possible, startled when the memory of cowering in the bathroom returned to him. When Ichigo had broken down his door and sent the shadows after him, only for him to be confronted by his father instead. That was one of the times Keto was asking about, wasn't it...? Then... the answer was -

"Yes."

He knew he didn't sound too sure of himself, and even though he didn't explain his answer, Keto scribbled down a short something and followed up without reacting one way or another,

"And what were the circumstances of those times? Did something important happen to push the problem away, or did someone else make the problem easier to deal with?"

His thoughts again went back to Ryuuken, and unbidden, returned to Rukia, despite his instinctual recoil at the name. Usually when Ichigo appeared to torment him he was alone, and when he was around people or someone else showed up, it would chase Ichigo away. So while still trying to be vague about his responces, he answered slowly,

"Being around people make the... 'problem'... easier. Yes."

With another nod, Keto noted something else down even as he asked next,

"Does being alone make it harder to deal with, then?"

Fighting to keep his breathing even, he found his answer easier to say even though it was more difficult to think about.

"Yes."

This time, silence stretched on between them as the scratching of the pen continued for a few moments, giving Uryuu time to reflect. He was being honest, even though every warning bell in the back of his mind was telling him this was a bad idea. He didn't want to be crazy or insane or weak, which was all these feelings were. Still, even when Keto's gaze finally returned to his own, he couldn't see any judgment or pity in his eyes; only an understanding encouragement that seemed to barely keep Uryuu afloat in his turmoil.

"How has this problem effected your self-worth?"

What? What kind of a question was that? How would he even begin to answer that question? Self-worth... he wasn't really worth anything, really, how could have any self-worth to begin with? Unable to really answer the question, he guessed he took too much time to think when Keto scratched out another observation before startling him by changing the question.

"What wrongs have been done to you that you haven't forgiven, if you'd rather answer that question instead?"

Again, how should he answer that question? What wrongs had been done to him... that he couldn't forgive...? At first his mind was blank, unable to process even this question, and yet as time slowly ticked away, he began to relive certain memories he would have rather forgotten.

His original hatred for the Shinigami: having to cower in fear while watching the only man who'd ever truly loved him for for who he was be ripped apart by hollows right in front of him. He had to watch as his own grandfather was gruesomely picked apart while the Shinigami stood by and did nothing. To feel that loss, that horror as a child, knowing that when no one else could or would help, that he had stood by teary-eyed and frozen to the ground... The crushing weight of that pain bore down on him heavily.

Then came the thought of Rukia: she had known all along what had been happening to him; the night terrors and sleepless nights, the hallucinations and the anxiety every day... She had known what Ichigo did to him, and yet she stood by and turned her cheek to the silent cries he'd given. She had acted like his friend, and allowed him to suffer at the hands of a monster without lifting a finger to help him or shield him when he needed it most. It cut into his heart, carving out what little had remained from his already damaged life.

Then there was Ichigo: his tormentor; his... rapist. The man who had plagued his every thought for the past who knew how long it had been now...? The shadows that lurked around every corner, waiting for their chance to strike at him at his most vulnerable... The strong fingers that itched to tighten around his throat or strike him until he bled... That other-worldly voice that haunted his worst nightmares every single night... He wasn't in his right mind anymore, and it was all... all of it... all his fault. And he would pay dearly for it.

But amid all his other swirling thoughts, another person came to mind, furrowing his brows deeply: Ryuuken. The man who had left him all but for dead. Who had disowned him a few times, who had discouraged him, berated him, threatened him, chose what classes he would take, what extra courses he would do, what friends he could have, what feelings he could have... The one who had controlled his entire life by being no where in it. The man he had always looked up to but had never given a damn about him until he was about to go off the deep edge.

The sudden, unbidden rage that crept up on him had him shaking minutely in his seat, his hands slowly balling into fists, and he couldn't stop it. Why was it only now that Ryuuken cared about his well being? Why only now did he have to act like love was an emotion he'd had all along? He was supposed to have been a father to Uryuu, but all he had ever been was... was... an extremely bossy roommate...! He never would have given a shit before if Uryuu had lost his powers or not! So why now, when Uryuu by all rights should have gone insane already, did Ryuuken finally decide he cared?!

"Let it go."

Startled to the point of jumping in his seat, Uryuu's attention flew to where Keto sat, watching him carefully, pen abandoned along with the filled paper in his lap. Unknowing of what exactly to say to that, his train of thought vanished in wake of Keto's continued words.

"Let it all go. All that baggage is weighting you down and lowering your self-worth. It's easy to see that on most things, you blame yourself. Maybe you think you caused those problems to happen, or maybe you feel like if you just could have done more, that things would have gone differently. It's perfectly normal to feel like this. You just have to learn to let it go."

Unable to fathom what Keto was getting at, he sat there in the chair, dumbstruck by the flow of words that washed over his ears.

"That kind of baggage creates stress, and stress fuels anxiety. Whenever that anxiety peaks, I'll bet you a problem starts happening." Keto paused, seemingly trying to get across a meaningful look to Uryuu, but it was lost somewhere in his jumbled thoughts. "When did you first start having hallucinations?"

Too startled and in shock to register exactly what he meant, or the fact he should be trying to cover something up, he numbly answered,

"I... don't know. Since it happened, I think."

"They're not real, Uryuu. I take it you see the man who hurt you?"

"I... yes."

"And have you ever noticed how he always appears when you are having high levels of anxiety or stress?"

"Well... I guess..."

"Or how about how he mystically tends to disappear suddenly when someone else shows up? Someone real?"

"I..."

"What you're seeing isn't real, Uryuu."

He felt like his heart was about to give out on him, it was beating so hard against his chest. He felt out of breath, like someone had winded him, but most of all his entire body felt weak and light headed. He truly was crazy; he was being told by a therapist that he was seeing things that weren't really there, and that was a one way ticket out of here. He might as well just be dead now.

"It's okay though."

How could it be okay?

"You're not the only one to use this kind of coping method."

That ground his thoughts to a halt quickly, and with renewed curiosity amongst his dread and guilt, he listened carefully,

"Many victims of abuse begin to see their abuser everywhere they go, even if they're not really there. Because many abusers pick times and places where they can be alone with their victims, they then begin to associate being alone with being attacked, and those increased anxiety and stress levels creates a paradox in their mind where they begin to relive the horrible treatment they suffered over and over again. It's why most like you prefer not to be alone in these times. The only way to get over this is to let the problem go, Uryuu. It's done, and it's over. It wasn't your fault."

Uryuu blinked, unaware the world had become distorted around him, only feeling the tear halfway down his cheek as it began to tickle the short hairs on his upper lip. Done... yet another person telling him his ordeal was over, but how could he trust it...? How was he to know what was real and what wasn't anymore? How was he to force a smile and forget about the evil that faced him in every darkened room?

"My suggestion for you, Uryuu, is that every time this 'problem' begins, don't give into it. It will sound difficult to do, and probably feel impossible as well, but tell the one who hurt you that he's not real. Because he's not real, and he can't actually hurt you any more than he already has. You're safe, Uryuu. And you're in good hands with your father."