~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Ryuuken's POV)

"It's about time the Shinigami decided to deal with the mess they created."

His eyes were narrowed on the three who approached his hospital, and more so out of habit than anything, he found his hand reaching into his pocket once more for the pack of cigarettes and the lighter. A reaction to stress, probably, but all these outsiders would see was his anger; and there was plenty to see.

The man standing before him was obviously a captain, based off his attire, and shared an equally cold glare with Ryuuken as he came to a stop in front of him, finally realizing that Ryuuken was blocking the way through the doors. The other two stopped just behind him, and Ryuuken took a long drag from his cigarette before he finally released the breath, and with it, any other train of thought. The captain in front of him did not speak, which turned Ryuuken's thoughts inward, and he really didn't like where that lead him.

He hadn't been able to sense the Shinigami's approach. They had come to his hospital. They were here to deal with the monster. But he hadn't been able to sense their approach. Which means if that boy was here... he wouldn't have sensed him either.

He could almost feel the color drain from his face, despite his attempt to hold onto the anger he felt, and with a quick motion he stepped away from the doors, giving the three room to enter. As soon as he was out of the way, and without a single sideways glance toward him, the captain pushed through the doors, followed a little more slowly by the red-head and the bald one. Ryuuken held up the back, following the Shinigami in spite of himself, hoping beyond all hope in the few minutes he'd left Uryuu alone, that boy hadn't somehow gotten to him.

It was too much to hope for.

With narrowed eyes, Ryuuken's hands clenched into fists, smashing the cigarette and singeing the tip of his fingers with the cherry before it was promptly dropped and smashed with his shoe. If he still had his bow, the boy would be dead; he knew this much. But because he did not; because his powers were going to better use within his son's body, he had to force himself to rely on the damn Shinigami who were just standing there, watching the boy walking toward them like some kind of lifeless corpse with a bloody nose.

"Ichigo...?"

The red-head stepped forward as he spoke, but the captain pushed him back with an arm, keeping him from going any closer to the silent boy who continued to walk straight for them.

He had expected the boy to lunge. To Hollow-fy, or whatever it was that made him such a monster... he had expected something of that nature.

But there was no way he could have expected what actually happened in the next few minutes.

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Ichigo's POV) {Earlier}

"Uryuu... I love you."

Even he had to wince at how the words sounded, still unsure if Uryuu was ever going to be in a state to realize what was said, let alone either accept or deny it. Of course; after everything he'd let happen to Uryuu, it was hard to ever think Uryuu would accept him. Such a thought knotted his brows in a frown, and he had to stop himself from looking up at Uryuu to see how he took the words. A few minutes of silence passed, and very carefully, Ichigo glanced up toward Uryuu, to see the male staring at him with this wide, wild eyed gaze.

Like he was a monster.

He could feel his heart breaking into millions of shards in that moment, and despite his own will, he felt his eyes mist up to the point where he couldn't see anything but Uryuu's blurry outline, unmoving, poised to jump if Ichigo moved for him again. Because he was a monster. He was the cause of everything bad that had ever happened to Uryuu, and it didn't matter that he was sorry. It didn't matter how he felt, or what he wanted to do about it; he was just a burden that had been on Uryuu's shoulders for far too long. Carefully, he lowered his head back onto the chair, a breath away from Uryuu's leg, and let the words come out. He didn't care if he died after this. He was better off dead anyway.

But he wanted Uryuu to know.

"I'm sorry. Uryuu, I'm so, so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I never wanted... I never wanted this. I wish I would have realized sooner what was happening. Done something about it sooner. Known what to do about it all... I just wanted to help, but every time I tried, I made things worse. I'll accept whatever punishment you and the others have for me. I deserve it. I just... I had to see you one last time. I had to- ..."

His breath hitched, and with quite some difficulty, he swallowed past the lump in his throat that was stopping him from speaking. It was the movement above him that made him glance up again, only to see Uryuu's hands smothered by his hair, his eyes scrunched shut behind the frames of his glasses, the lines of his lips pulled taut as if he were in pain. Feeling that pain echoed in his heart, Ichigo tried for his attention with a whisper,

"... Uryuu...?"

And all hell broke loose.

Ichigo felt the pain seconds after he heard the crack of Uryuu's feet slamming squarely into his face, his neck whipping backward even as he felt his body fly backward a few feet onto the hard tile floor. He felt and tasted the coppery liquid pooling in his throat and the tears leaking from his eyes at the pain, but what came next was just a reminder that he deserved all this... and more.

"I HATE YOU!"

The words drove the air from his lungs just as forcefully as Uryuu himself did seconds later, as the boy flung himself atop Ichigo, winding him, the sound of the falling chair he'd leaped from thundering out around them.

"I AM NOT YOUR PLAYTHING!"

Hands wrapped tightly around Ichigo's neck and squeezed, making his entire body twitch beneath Uryuu as it was denied air. His mind sped onward with his heart, racing to see which would give out first as thoughts spiraled around him. He had told Uryuu he would accept whatever punishment he was due, for it was deserved, but he had never thought...

"AND I WILL NEVER -"

Darkness was already beginning to fill the edges of his vision, and his entire body wanted to throw Uryuu off him and take in a life saving gulp of air. Somehow, he managed to fight the urge, unable to help the tears steadily streaming down the sides of his face, and glanced up one last time at Uryuu's face, only to see the sudden manic light in his eyes disappear, replaced by horror.

"... Never..."

In that instant, the pressure on his throat and lungs lifted and he doubled in on himself, coughing and sputtering, his hands raising to his neck only to wince at what would be bruises later. When he turned to glance at Uryuu, to see what had happened, why he had let him live, he watched the male crawling backwards along the floor until his back hit the overturned chair, where he then curled in on himself, eyes wide and locked on him.

Monster, the gaze said.

I won't stoop to your level, the gaze said.

I can't kill you, even though you almost killed me... the gaze said.

Monster.

Unable to fight back the tears that continued to flow down swollen cheeks, Ichigo picked himself up off the floor, apologies and pleas stuck in the back of his throat, unspoken. It didn't matter what he said. It didn't matter what he did. He would always be the cause of the problem, and he would never be able to fix it. He could feel a physical hole in his chest where his heart should be, a hole that threatened to consume him and made it difficult to move, let alone breathe. His gaze turned toward Uryuu, taking in the frightened, panicked state he had forced on the guy, and suddenly everything he had wanted to say died on the tip of his tongue.

He had to leave.

Acting on auto-pilot, he turned away from Uryuu, trying to force himself to see where he was going through watery outlines of his surroundings, and managed somehow to find the handle of the door on his first try when he got to it. Everything inside his heart kept telling him to take one last look behind him, to pause and wait, or to try another apology, but just the knowledge of what he'd caused kept him silent. Without saying anything more, he forced himself to open the door and walk out, closing the door gently and softly behind him.

This was it. He already felt devoid of life, so it wouldn't be much of a stretch at this point to just curl up and die to atone for his crimes. His legs shuddered beneath him, but he chose a direction and forced himself to wander forth. He would eventually find his death, sooner or later. He was prepared for it. Until that sooner or later came, he found himself stumbling forward, his gaze unfocused and unaware of his surroundings, instead watching memories play out as if he were reliving them.

He remembered the arrogant Quincy that had irritated him to no end when he'd first met him. Proud, confident, and strong. Able to deal with the world without batting an eye, without complaint...

Trying as hard as possible not to think of how he had ruined it all, he almost missed his name being called, and when he finally glanced up, he noticed he was walking toward familiar figures that somehow seemed foreign and unnatural. It took him several seconds to finally recognize Byakuya, who was motioning toward him for some reason. When he next blinked, his vision clearing slightly, he noticed it was Renji and Ikkaku who were approaching him even as his legs continued to move, so it was only seconds later when he felt his arms taken hold of on either side.

Finally, his legs ceased their movement, and instantly tried to buckle, and he found himself held up completely by the men on either side of him.

"Ichigo...! What in hell's name happened...?" he heard Renji whisper furiously into his ear as he tried to hold him up, but Ichigo couldn't find the strength to answer.

So he would be taken back to the Soul Society and executed, if he wasn't just executed here. This was to be his end. Perhaps a bit too glamorous for a monster, but a fitting end, he guessed. He glanced up at Byakuya, who was now only a few yards away from him, only to recognize something was wrong. The stoic man's eyes were slightly widened, setting off warning bells despite Ichigo's current train of thought. Despite himself, Ichigo's head turned, trying to catch a glimpse behind him, unable to fathom where the spark of hope had come from, only for his heart to skip a beat.

A deadly streak of blue and white Reishi soared barely an inch past his nose, ripping through the air and downward, slamming into the floor behind Byakuya and the white haired man that was Uryuu's father, cratering the tile and blasting chunks of white everywhere. The walls shuddered, as if they had felt the hate from the attack and were quivering in fear, and in the moment that he felt the grips on his arms loosen, his knees fully gave way and he crumpled to the ground.

Did Uryuu miss... on purpose...?

He never even thought to think how or why his powers had returned. He never even thought to be happy that Uryuu had his Quincy powers back.

He never got to finish his thoughts before the entire world went black.

~.X.~ ~.X.~ ~.X.~ (Uryuu's POV)

"Uryuu... I love you."

The words were so softly spoken, he had to wonder if he truly heard them right, and it took a few seconds for the meaning to actually sink in. Still, he didn't understand. He couldn't understand. Nothing was making sense to him anymore...! Keto had told him that this was just an illusion; a setback in his mental health that was keeping him from being sane, and that all he needed to do was tell the illusion of his tormentor that he wasn't real, and breathe, and relax, and... and...

With a frightened gaze, Uryuu watched Ichigo's head slowly lift until their gazes locked, and Uryuu felt it impossible to turn away. Like everything that was left of his sanity was riding on this one moment, and if he tore his gaze away, Ichigo would murder him and that would be his end. Just the thought made his heart race and his stomach flip, but even despite those feelings, the words just spoken continued echoing through his brain.

Uryuu... I love you.

Suddenly he was back in the hospital, trying his hardest to keep his body from trembling or his heart from pounding against his chest, feeling Ichigo take his hand and press a sweaty, heated forehead against the back of his hand.

"I... Uryuu, I want... I want you to know. I... lov-...-ve the fact you're going to recover."

The words rattled him, but slowly began to make more sense. The reason he had hesitated... and had covered up the hesitation with a quickly strung excuse... he had been about to confess his love that day and hadn't had the nerve to. Pieces he should have seen before began coming together, starting to paint a picture in Uryuu's mind that still seemed just out of reach. Like something was missing; something long forgotten... what was it...?

Movement startled him from his thoughts, and when he looked down again, he watched Ichigo slowly replace his head next to his leg. He knew he should move, that he was in danger, but something beyond his grasp kept him rooted to the spot long enough to hear when Ichigo took a deep breath, and began to speak.

"I'm sorry. Uryuu, I'm so, so sorry. I never meant for any of this to happen. I never wanted... I never wanted this."

This...? As in, Uryuu being in therapy...? Or Uryuu having his powers back...? The sudden thought made his entire body freeze; of course Ichigo wouldn't want Uryuu to have his powers back. Because that meant he could fight back. He could fight him off...!

"I wish I would have realized sooner what was happening. Done something about it sooner. Known what to do about it all..."

Caught somewhere between wanting to laugh and wanting to sob, Uryuu stared incrediously down at Ichigo, giving him what almost sounded like a pleading apology even as he admitted Uryuu getting his powers back hadn't been part of his plan. He felt his fingers curl into the soft velvet sides of the chair as he fought with his body to move, but only succeeding in producing a fine trembling as he listened.

"I just wanted to help, but every time I tried, I made things worse. I'll accept whatever punishment you and the others have for me. I deserve it. I just... I had to see you one last time. I had to- ..."

He couldn't handle this. When Ichigo paused, the entire room fell silent with him, and in the mayhem and chaos of what was left of Uryuu's mind, the silence would have killed him long before Ichigo could. His hands instantly flew to his head, whatever spell Ichigo had snared him in gone at last, and with a shuddering breath, he heard the whispered word that drove him over the edge.

"... Uryuu...?"

And he snapped.

Both of his feet shot out from their curled position, connecting forcefully against Ichigo's skull with a glorious cracking sound. Ichigo's startled and pain filled grunt that floated around his ears gave him a swelling sense of victory even as Ichigo was forced away from him, and only fueled the heated words that came next.

"I HATE YOU! I AM NOT YOUR PLAYTHING! AND I WILL NEVER - ... Never..."

Uryuu felt his breath catch in his throat as he stared into frightened brown eyes, and the sense of missing something overwhelmed him again, making him lose his train of thought. It was only then he realized he had somehow jumped from the chair he'd been sitting in, crossed the distance he'd created between Ichigo and him, and had his hands around Ichigo's throat. Instantly the pressure he'd put on his hands to make his knuckles turn white lifted, and he lunged backward as if Ichigo had burnt him. In all actuality, it felt like he truly had.

With careful, frightened movements, Uryuu inched backward, away from Ichigo until his back hit the overturned chair he must have leaped from, and his entire body jolted with the urge to curl in on itself when Ichigo slowly rose off the floor to stand before him. His body remembered the beatings... the torture... the torment, and knew it couldn't handle another. So he watched in horror as Ichigo turned those strange, tear filled, chocolate colored irises on him - what wasn't he remembering...? - before turning away.

His head swimming with frantic, chaotic thoughts, he watched Ichigo walk to the door, open it, and disappear through it without another word. Then the door was shut and the room was deathly quiet once more, leaving Uryuu gasping for breath. His lungs felt constricted, cutting off his oxygen, and his skin felt overheated, causing him to break out in a sweat. He could feel the shadows of the room slithering around him, waiting for the right moment to pounce. Ichigo was gone, but he was still here, and he would always be here, and what the hell was he forgetting?!

His hands pulled at his hair, trying to force himself to remember whatever it was he had forgotten when his eyes shot open, his heart leaping into his throat.

Kill the Shinigami.

Uncaring of the way the shadows slithered closer toward him, Uryuu shot off the floor onto wobbling legs, gasping as his arms flailed in the air, trying to right his balance. His entire body felt weighted down, but he couldn't let it stop him. No, he had to stop Ichigo before anyone else could suffer the same fate he had given Uryuu; and before he could ever hurt him again. Ichigo would die tonight.

He took off for the door, throwing it as wide as his eyes, oblivious of how his glasses had shifted to a lopsided position on his face. He could see enough to see the outline of orange hair as he ran out of the room, several yards down the hall. He never even thought to register the figures standing next to Ichigo, with as focused as he was on the words in his mind.

Kill the Shinigami.

Kill Ichigo.

Kill him.

He felt the vibrant thrum of energy surging through his arms as he lifted his bow, surprising in the sudden weight and uncontrolled flood of Reishi that sparked from his fingertips as he brought the arrow back. It felt like his body was moving of its own accord, and despite the sensation that something was wrong, he couldn't stop himself. He could only watch as the bow that manifested itself took on a spiderweb design where his arrow was knocked, and could only feel the surge of energy that gave his arrow more weight than it should have.

With his own bow, his aim would have been true and sliced clean through Ichigo's head, but as soon as his grip loosed the arrow, he knew his shot would miss. With a sudden horror slicing through his veins, he watched as the arrow shot through the air, barely missing Ichigo's face as his head turned back to try and meet his gaze. The arrow took a sudden downward shift behind those it had passed, slamming into the tile of the hospital floor and blasting chunks of tile and concrete everywhere, the sound deafening him for a few seconds. His heart racing, he felt the sudden throbbing pain in his arms that usually came from over exerting himself in training, like he had over extended himself, and out of habit forced himself to drop his bow, which disappeared in thin particles around him.

It was all he could do to force himself to keep breathing when it felt like his lungs were on fire, and so he stood rooted in the spot as laughter began echoing around the halls. That same, blood-curdling laughter that sent every nerve of his body into shock. It was hard to see through the dust and debris still trying to settle in the small hallway, and desperately he tried to move his hand to right his glasses, but no part of his body would answer his command.

"GET HIM!"

He knew his father's voice when he heard it, but he almost didn't recognize it for the fear that colored his words, and felt his heart jump into his throat when voices rose to a yelling pitch, echoing around the halls as booms and crashes threatened to envelop the entire hallway in a cloud of dust. Every now and again he would catch a glint of steel whipping through the debris or what seemed like tiny cherry blossom petals slicing through the clouds of dirt, but the other-worldly laughter never ceased; it only grew in volume and hysteria, sending painful shivers down his spine.

It wasn't until the clouds suddenly billowed outward, toward Uryuu that his breath and his heart caught in his throat. By that time, he had glimpsed the white and red Hollow mask framed at the top by orange. By that time, he had seen the black-upon-yellow eyes focused on him.

By that time, it was too late.

Mentally screaming at his body to move, he managed only a twitch of his feet before Ichigo slammed into his stomach, shoulder first, and he felt himself flung upward as the air left his lungs in an excruciating rush. Gasping for breath, he felt his glasses soar off his face, skidding on the tile as the floor rushed past his blurry gaze. He could hear shouts in the distance behind them, and his stomach flipped when Ichigo suddenly leaped into the air to avoid what he could only assume was Renji's extended Zabimaru.

Still fighting for his breath, Uryuu attempted to muster up what little strength was left after how shooting a single arrow had drained him, but instead only managed to collapse against Ichigo's shoulder, his head flopping up and down with the fast momentum, despite the agony in his protesting neck. Why... why was his bow different from before? Why couldn't he shoot properly...? ... why couldn't he fight?

In spite of the blurs around him, his gaze caught the flash of something silver to his right, and forced his tired gaze to focus on what was dangling from his wrist. He knew what he should see, as soon as he figured out it was attached to him, but he didn't see his own Quincy Cross. No, what he found instead of his own, four-point cross, was his father's five-point cross. The one his father had shown him right before the training.

More pieces of the puzzle. He was sure there was a picture here, but he was tired, and in pain, and all the bouncing around was slowly making his vision fade from view, to where he was floating back and forth in darkness.

All he knew was he was still missing something... forgetting something.

... What was it...?