Chapter 3: Donkey Kong

Dixie Kong

"Pit, this is Dixie Kong." said Palutena. "She's the girlfriend of Diddy Kong."

"Anything special with her?" asked Pit.

"You see that ponytail. She uses that as a weapon."

"Hair as a weapon. Nobody will think that's a good idea." said Pit.

"I think you angered someone." warned Palutena. "But that's for another day. She can also use her hair to fly."

"Her hair can make her fly?" Pit asked with disbelief. "How, does it flap like a bird or spin around?"

"It does spin around. Attacking her while she's flying will leave her defenseless till she lands."

Pit stared at Dixie. "Palutena, how come Dixie can fly with her hair and I can't fly with my wiiings?"

"Uhhhhh, Look! A Distraction!"

Pit heart raced as he scanned his surroundings. "Where!? Where's that … oh dang it!"

Cranky Kong

"Isn't Cranky Kong … too old?" Pit asked.

"Why you darn whisper snapper!" shouted Cranky. "I remember when you were in 2D. Not only that you're 3D now, but you also got one of those shooting things this generation favors. Where's your dignity?"

Pit bowed down. "Sorry, Cranky Kong! Please forgive me!"

"Back in my days, we had to work to get to the goal on our own. We didn't have this internet telling you all the secrets. Why spoil the fun?"

"Pit." said Palutena. "Cranky Kong still has some of his youth left. His cane can do some serious damage when attacked from above."

"So he can jump also. He must .. I mean he clearly has great fighting skills." Pit looked at Cranky.

"You got that right!" said Cranky. "And who are you talking to?"

"Lady Palutena. Goddess of Light. Also don't ask about the Smash Bros. canon."

"A goddess? Well I don't suppose she's the kind of damsel that gets kidnapped. Like Pauli … what's her face."

Pit then recalled what people said about the Cranky Kong and the first Donkey Kong game. "What's a gorilla's lifespan?"

"I have no idea." said Palutena as they continued to listen to Cranky about the good old days.

King K. Rool

"So this is Donkey Kong's mortal enemy? Man, his appearances have always been rare recently."

"True, but I think he's still after the Kongs' Banana Hoard." said Palutena.

"Speaking of bananas, why does he want them?"

"It is said that he is planning to starve the Kongs so he can easily take over."

"But aren't the bananas scattered all around the island, just floating around waiting for something to run into them?"

"I don't know about Gorrilla/Crocodile politics, but it looks like Donkey Kong was hoarding more bananas than the rest of the Kongs could eat for the rest of their lives."

"Huh, surprisingly they aren't fat like this guy."

"When fighting King K. Rool, be careful of his strength. He's not as slow as he looks. He can jump higher than you, Pit. Keep your distance and shoot your arrow at him, then find an opening and do melee attacks."

"Alright then, here I come alligator, or crocodile?"

Evil Kongs

"Oh no! It's the Evil Kongs I don't really know about!" Pit shouted in fear.

"Don't worry, Pit. Use this!" Palutena shot a beam of heavenly light in front of Pit. A holy weapon then descended from the cloud and fell into Pit's hands. "Use this ancient weapon and defeat the Evil Kongs.

"Bongos!?" Pit inspected the controller. "There's only two buttons. How do I move? How do I attack? How do I pause? How do I-" Without warning, the Evil Kongs gained up on poor Pit and started beating him. "Ahhh, Help!"

"Sorry, Pit. This is a fight." said Palutena eating popcorn.

"Can you pass the popcorn?" asked Viridi slurping up some soda.

End of Chapter