Chapter 28

This was wrong. It was all wrong!

Lizzie had been at Pemberley for all of forty-five minutes and she was already turned upside down and inside out. She was standing in this beautiful guest bedroom, which at first she'd been in awe of, beautifully decorated in creams and sunshine yellows, but now it all felt wrong!

Perhaps she would have felt it sooner, maybe the apprehension would have seeped in before this point if she hadn't been so distracted all morning.

They'd left London early, and she'd been running around like a mad woman making sure they had everything and that Georgiana was settled and comfortable in the car. The car ride itself had seemed to fly by, as she'd somehow fallen asleep not long after leaving the city limits, waking up about an hour outside of their destination.

Darcy had been driving but they were in Lizzie's car, seeing as his own Aston Martin was no longer functioning after Georgiana's accident. The plan was take her BMW, which was being kept at Pemberley during her time abroad, back to the city next week so that they would both have a car until the insurance went through on the Aston. Driving a second hand Volvo must have been a blow to his ego, but Lizzie commended the fact that Will hadn't said a word about their travel arrangements.

Georgiana herself was laid out in the back, her bad leg propped up across the bench seat, and she leaned back against the car door. It was the only way she could be comfortable for the long drive to Derbyshire. Lizzie had spent the rest of the drive immersed in her book while Georgiana dozed and Darcy drove, the stereo playing softly in the background, but as they turned onto a long and leafy dirt driveway she realized they must be close and put her book away, focusing on the scenery as it passed. Georgiana sat up straighter and more alert in the back seat, anxious to be back again, at the place she had always truly considered home, and Darcy was feeling similarly, although Lizzie noticed he seemed a little tense. She didn't know it was because he feared her thoughts and opinions of his favorite place in the world.

As the car reached the top of a hill, Darcy was holding his breath, knowing that this crest in the drive, allowed the first glimpse of the house itself.

And there it was, Pemberley House. Darcy felt that familiar warmth of home surround him, and with Lizzie by his side, it felt greater than ever.

"Jesus Christ, Darcy!" she cried when they reached the top of the hill. Darcy slowed down so that she could savour the view and they trailed the next few yards at a roll, he couldn't help but smile.

"I knew you came from old money!" Lizzie continued, "But this is ridiculous! You actually live here?!"

"As often as I can manage to," he said simply, still smiling. Lizzie was just shaking her head in disbelief. Her mouth hanging open, slack jawed.

Her first impression of the house had been awe. The place was beautiful, a historical gem, an architectural masterpiece, nestled in the rolling green hills of the English countryside and surrounded by perfectly manicured gardens that revelled in their natural glory. It was a proud house, and obviously taken pride in by its owner. Not that she was surprised. Darcy was a man of pride. Not proud, in the sense that most people, and indeed she had for some time believed he was, but a man who took pride in his every endeavour, who was dedicated and honest and deeply caring. Like Pemberley house had awed her, Lizzie was finding that she was often in awe of its owner these days as well.

They had made the rest of the drive to the house itself in silence. Darcy picked up the speed along the rest of the long driveway, and waited somewhat anxiously for Lizzie to voice her opinion. He slowed again as they drew into the circular driveway, that encircled a large sculpted fountain. He stopped the car and glanced over to see her staring up through the car window, her mouth hanging open slightly. He couldn't help but smirk, that, at least, he could take as a good reaction. He stopped the engine and climbed out of the car, opening the rear door and helping Georgiana out and handing her the new set of crutches her doctor had given her the day before. Now that her ribs were improving, she'd been given back some of her walking privileges. She could manage short, flat distances, although she found it difficult because of her arm cast, but at least it was something. She didn't feel so dependent anymore.

Georgiana hobbled towards the front stairs and Darcy looked across the roof of the car to where Lizzie had climbed out and was now standing, staring up towards the top of the building.

"Well... What do you think?" he'd asked across the top of the car, drawing her attention back to him. She was looking him straight I'm the eye when she shook her head.

"This is amazing Will, seriously. I had no idea…" she uttered, turning back to the house. His insides bubbled up with happiness at the thought of her approval, he wasn't sure why exactly, but it was suddenly very important to him that she love Pemberley as much as he did himself.

"Well, just wait until you see the rest then," he teased, walking around to her side of the car and taking her hand. He tugged her gently towards the house, pulling her to the door. Georgiana, unable to navigate the stairs with her crutches, was waiting patiently for her brother to help her, smiling as she watched the exchange between the two.

Once Darcy had placed Georgie safely on the top level of the staircase to resume her hobbling, he reclaimed Lizzie's hand and led her over to the large double doors that bore the entrance to the grand house. That was the first inkling that something felt wrong, she'd suddenly felt very out of place, and insecure at the thought of being a guest here. She didn't belong in this world at all!

But looking over to the man next to her, smiling tentatively as he shared his sacred place, his real home, for her to see, she knew she'd find a way to get used to it, for him. For a brief moment, that passing feeling frightened her. But his constant gentle touch on her hand had seemed to settle her fears, for a while at least, and she knew she just had to let things play out as they would.

He'd pushed the large doors open, bearing an enormous entry foyer, with high ceilings and tall roman style columns. The corniced roof looked almost like it was glimmering in the sunlight that spilled in from the huge windows that surrounded the door and spilled over the landing at the other end of the room. Looking more closely Lizzie could see that there was actually a design painted into the cream coloured ceiling in glittering gold, she knew she would have to come back and inspect it better later because in that moment she was overcome. Every single detail so far, no matter how tiny, from the pebbled driveway to the gold leaf ceiling mural, was perfect.

At the end of the foyer was a huge marble staircase leading to the upper levels, and on either side of the long room, several doorways, closed off from her view, led deeper into the house. She wondered how big this place actually was. From the front it looked huge, but inside, seeing the size of this foyer alone, she knew it had to be larger than she'd ever dreamt. Just how rich was Darcy anyway? She turned around from her inspection of the room to see him watching her carefully from a little way back. He looked almost anxious, and she smiled at him, hoping it would calm him down. She knew that Pemberley was his sanctuary. It was the place he'd always come to escape work and the city in all the time she'd known him, and when he was here, he was always unreachable. That was the second time the insecurity had arisen, when she realized it must be difficult for him to have her here, intruding on his sacred space. But before she could dwell on that, they'd been interrupted.

"William! Georgiana! You're home!" A voice had interrupted them, from a doorway at the back of the foyer, half hidden under the stairs, appeared a woman who looked to be in her late forties, dressed simply in black pants and a white polo shirt. She had an apron tied around her waist and there was a smudge of flour on her cheek.

"Ms. Reynolds!" Georgiana squealed as she hobbled across the room. The woman called Ms. Reynolds rushed forward to greet her, and shorten her path.

"Oh, you poor dear, are you feeling alright?!" She asked, embracing Georgie. Darcy was watching on silently, a smile on his face.

"I'm fine, really" Georgiana assured her, shuffling back from the hug.

From behind her, she felt a hand on her lower back, and suddenly an anxious Darcy was pushing Lizzie forward towards the pair.

"Ms. Reynolds," He said warmly, drawing the older ladies attention to them as he propelled them forward. The lady turned and let out a rather girlish squeal before skipping across to them and hugging Will.

"Oh William, I swear you get more handsome every time I see you," she said.

"I'm sure that's a lie," Will scoffed, drawing back from the hug, and smiling widely.

"Ms. Reynolds, I want you to meet someone," he said, turning his body to include Lizzie in their conversation.

"This is Elizabeth Bennett, Elizabeth this is the house keeper, Ms. Reynolds. She's been at Pemberley my entire life,"

"Oh, so she knows all your secrets then? I'd best keep close," Lizzie teased, and Ms. Reynolds bust out laughing.

"It's a pleasure to meet you Ms. Reynolds," Lizzie said, extending a hand at the laughing woman.

"And you Miss Bennett, I've heard a lot about you over the years, and please call me Maria. These two refuse to, but it does make me feel so old,"

"Well Maria, you must call me Lizzie then, Miss Bennett always makes me feel like I'm in the principal's office… or the bosses…" she said liltingly,, a tiny smirk on her lips as she cast a glance at Darcy. Ms. Reynolds laughed again and turned her gaze on him as well.

"I like this one William, she must keep you on your toes," Ms. Reynolds was teasing him now, and he knew she expected him to hate it as he usually did, always being so serious. But this time, he was in complete agreement.

"Funny, I like that about her too," he shot back quickly, smirking, and then he bent and dropped his small carry bag with the other luggage. Maria looked slightly shocked for a brief moment, not expecting such playfulness from him, but knowing it was a good thing so see him happy and playful, recovered her neutrality quickly.

"Lizzie, can I give you a tour?" Will had asked then, reaching out and clasping her hand, he pulled her further into the house and away from a smirking Georgiana and now smiling Ms. Reynolds.

The tour of the house had both amazed and thrown her. Each room that Darcy showed her was as beautiful as the last. Tastefully decorated, the grand house still held its historical charm, and the whole place was decorated in light colours with accents of gold, every room adorned with huge windows that spilled sunlight inside and made the whole place feel light and airy and welcoming. Even though that feeling kept bubbling up inside Lizzie, and making her feel more like an intruder, no matter how many times she told herself to relax, she couldn't feel comfortable having no idea where she stood here. And that was what she contemplated now that she was alone.

She'd always known how to act around Darcy. When she'd first met him it was easy just to be herself and act naturally around him, after the disaster of her first function anger had fuelled her, and she'd acted as only an employee and nothing more. Even staying at Darcy House had been an easy transition because she was there as Georgiana's caretaker, and she knew her place, but here, at Pemberley? When Georgiana was up and around again and didn't need as much help, and she had her lifelong house keeper to assist anyway, and after spending the last few nights in Darcy's bed? She may as well have been in the middle of a thick fog, because she hadn't the foggiest idea what her role was here.

Darcy hadn't taken her on a complete tour of the house, but had shown her the main rooms she'd need to locate. The dining room, main sitting room, he'd pointed out the kitchen, but they hadn't gone down the staircase to see it. The ballroom he'd shown her as the passed one of its doorways, he said he'd thought she'd appreciate it. Which she had, it was beautiful and certainly grand and at least twice the size of the ballroom at Netherfield, with golden wood floors and a huge chandelier hanging at the center of the room from the incredibly high, and again ornately decorated, ceiling. With the huge windows at the far end, flooding in light, she was reminded of the ballroom from Beauty and the Beast, which had been one of her favourite movies growing up, she smiled at the thought of herself dancing around this room, wearing Belle's yellow gown. Dancing with… well in her imagination she was dancing with Darcy, not the beast, but the sentiment was the same.

After the ballroom Darcy showed her the library and the path to his office, so she'd be able to find him if he was working and finally he'd shown her to her room. Which was where she was now, agonizing over every last detail of the past hour.

This room was beautiful, but it wasn't where she wanted to be. Deep down, she knew what she really wanted. She wanted to be down at the end of the hall, inside the room that Darcy had said was his own. After all, she'd shared his bed at Darcy House, why couldn't she share it here? Had he given her, her own room out of politeness, in case she didn't want to stay with him? Or had he put her in here because he didn't want her? She kicked her suitcase in frustration. Surely it wasn't because he was sick of her. Then why was she even here in the first place?

She couldn't bear this turmoil anymore. She needed answers. And she needed to change rooms! She flung open the door to the guestroom and stomped down the hall to the last door on the left and knocked on it, twice, loudly, and without waiting for a response, opened the door and swept inside.

Darcy was standing at the window on the far side of the room, looking out across the gardens, but turned around when the door flew open and Lizzie came flying in.

"This isn't going to work Darcy!" she cried, stopping short and putting her hands on her hips. He couldn't help but smile. She was awfully cute when she was mad.

"What's that Lizzie?" He asked, practically sauntering across the room, which made her even angrier. But the room took her aback for a moment. It wasn't what she was expecting at all. His room in London was all dark woods and blacks and reds, Lizzie had assumed it was his taste, and while it was beautiful and probably more modern, she'd always preferred a lighter airy feel herself. This was precisely what this room was! Decorated in white and sky blue, pine woods and cream. There was a set of large French doors open out on to a small balcony and the breeze was swirling around the room, carrying in the scent of the outdoors, and freshly mown lawn. Her gaze moved back to Darcy who now stood before her and she faltered.

"Uhh…"

"You said, something isn't going to work?" He prompted, and she was ignited again.

"Yes! That's right, this isn't going to work!"

"Care to elaborate on that?" he teased, and she reached out to slap his arm.

"The bedroom Darcy, it's not right. None of this has been right! I don't know where I stand here, and then you put me in a guest room and I don't know! It just feels wrong!"

He frowned, but inside he felt that glimmer of hope, he'd had the room set up for her so that she had the option of her own space. He worried that he'd been suffocating her, or monopolizing her. But he wanted her to stay with him more than anything.

"You want to stay with me?" he asked.

"Well… I just, not if you don't want me to…" she said, a little embarrassed at her outburst. She wasn't the type of girl who acted this way over a guy. She'd never done it before, so why was she doing it now. In fact, she wasn't even sure why she wanted to stay in his room this badly. She mentally slapped herself.

"Look, it doesn't matter, I'm sorry, just don't worry about it," she said and went to leave the room, to leave him alone and stop acting like an imbecile. But he reached out and grabbed her gently by the upper arms and stopped her from moving. He held up one finger, indicating she should stay right where she was and he himself left the room.

Within a minute he was back, carrying her suitcase and duffle bag, which he placed inside the door, before standing upright and facing her. He held out a hand to gesture her forward.

"There, all fixed," he smirked, "Now come on, let's go and see about dinner shall we?"

"Are you sure about this Will?" she asked, walking over to him.

"No question," he smiled, "I had the guest room set up for you in case you wanted your own space, but I like having you with me Lizzie. I prefer having you with me. So I'm more than sure about you staying in my room, or should I say, our room?" He smiled, and Lizzie though that he even seemed a little nervous after he'd said that.

"Anyway, in my opinion this is a much better arrangement," he smirked, and then grabbed her hand in the one he'd previously offered her and tugged her out the door.

"Dinner," He said again, "Let's see what Ms. Reynolds has in store for us hey? Then maybe I'll show you some more of the house."

Lizzie smiled, as suddenly, everything felt okay again.