"Arizona, come on!" Callie shouted from her place on the blonde's bed. She had told the brunette to take all of her clothes off and go sit on the bed before she had disappeared into her bathroom. The buzz from the alcohol was wearing off but it was soon replaced by an all together different feeling when Arizona appeared at the door.
Her girlfriend was clad in pale blue lingerie which accented her lustful eyes.
"You really need to learn some patience." Arizona's voice was low and it sent shivers down Callie's spine. The Latina watched as the surgeon knelt on the end of the bed.
"Are..." She had to clear her throat of the knot that had formed. "Are you going to teach me?"
"Maybe another day, right now I just want to make you feel good baby." As she spoke, the blonde moved up the bed to straddle Callie's naked hips. She caught tanned hands before they settled on her pale body. Arizona the intertwined their fingers and held their hands in the air. "No touching."
"You've got to be kidding me." The brunette groaned in frustration.
"No." Before Callie could put forward a well reasoned argument as to why she should be allowed to touch her partner's amazing body, Arizona captured her mouth with a blistering kiss. She slowed down but then introduced her tongue.
Still kissing, the surgeon pushed forward so she was lying on top of Callie. She swallowed the moans produced by the Latina at the feel of lace against her bare breasts and mound. Totally at the mercy of her lover, Callie was beginning to struggle for breath because of their never ending kiss. Before she passed out, Arizona moved away from her mouth but continued on her neck. It was only when Callie had caught her breath that she realised their hands were being held above her head.
"Why can't I touch you?"
Arizona lifted her head over her girlfriend's face to reply. "Because you need to relax and we both know how worked up you get when you feel me up." She then disappeared from view again as she placed open mouth kisses on full breasts, purposefully missing hard nipples.
"Yeah... because you doing... that isn't working me up." The blonde stopped and was again hovering over the Latina, eye to eye.
"Okay but if you touch me here," She pulled Callie's left hand and placed it a hair's breath away from her bra covered breasts, "I'll want you to touch me here." The Latina almost burst when her hand was then almost touching Arizona's core. After just a second though, both hands were back in place above their heads and she was back to work assaulting tanned breasts- this time sucking a brown nipple into her mouth.
"Would that be... such a bad... thing?"
"Yeah, this is about you." Callie watched as a blonde head moved across to her other breast. "I can take care of myself."
"Jesus!" Between the feeling of Arizona on her flesh and the idea of Arizona pleasuring herself, the brunette was hurtling towards the edge at a terrifying pace. The surgeon hadn't even touched her sex yet.
That was until Arizona began rolling her hips down, causing delicious friction.
"Oh God, please Arizona. You are gonna kill me."
"Can I trust you not to move your hands?"
"Yes!" Came Callie's breathless response.
"Okay." The blonde let go of one of her hands and snaked it down to play with her lover's folds. "You're so wet Calliope." Again she began kissing her fiercely. "How long have you been like this?" she asked when they broke apart. She had yet to give Callie anywhere near the contact she so desperately needed.
"Always. Please Arizona" She was begging. Callie Torres had never begged before in her life until she met this woman. It paid off and she got what she wanted. "Thank you." She screamed as the blonde finally thrust two fingers inside her but their pace could only be described as leisurely. "Come on!" Her free hand was clutching at the pillow.
"What?" Arizona was enjoying the view from where she was, over her girlfriend. Callie was bucking her hips to try to get a more satisfying feeling.
"Harder, faster, please."
"Like this?"
"Oh fuck!" The Latina yelled out as Arizona suddenly accelerated her hand as she simultaneously began rubbing circles around her swollen bundle of nerves.
"Are you close?" The blonde was right by her ear.
"Yes."
"Then come. Come for me Calliope." She did just that. Loud. Hard. And totally with out shame.
Arizona then proceeded to bring Callie multiple orgasms for the rest of the night. Every time she refused when Callie tried to return the favour. Eventually they fell asleep totally spent but not before a few whispered promises of love.
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The next week, Arizona used her key to open the door to Callie's apartment. It was half one in the morning and she had finished a gruelling shift filled with emergency surgery after emergency surgery. However going back to her own apartment was not an option when her girlfriend was here. Arizona intended on collapsing in bed and curling up to the Latina's snoring form. She would have too if, when she opened the door, had she found Callie in bed. Instead she was sat on the living room sofa with her head in her hands.
The surgeon found the light switch and her partner jumped when the previously dark room illuminated with light.
"Sorry, how come you're up? It's one thirty in the morning." She asked out of concern as she walked towards the sofa.
"Couldn't sleep." Callie mumbled. She jumped again when she felt Arizona approach the back of the sofa. The brunette stood and walked towards the kitchen, leaving a bewildered girlfriend in the living area.
"What's wrong?" Arizona was getting more and more worried. When she attempted to get closer, Callie scrunched up her face and slammed her eyes shut.
"Can you... um... not..."
"Calliope?" The blonde had never seen her like this before. She was getting good at spotting the signs of fatigue and the stresses of Callie's injury but this was different. "What do you need?"
"Nothing, can you... you just need..." The Latina was shaking her head, willing herself to form the words.
"Okay, Calliope just take a deep breath. We'll start off small. Why can't I get any closer to you?" All she wanted to do was gather her girlfriend up in her arms but she couldn't ignore the distress in Callie's face and behaviour.
"Smell... you smell like... hospitals."
"That's because I work in one?" Arizona asked confused as to where this was going.
"I know!" Callie snapped back. She softened when she opened her eyes and saw concern and love reflected back. "Sorry."
"It's okay. It doesn't usually bother you, me smelling like hospitals."
In response, her partner nodded her head. "I just... I can ignore it usually... I can't... I'm sorry..." Seeing her girlfriend like this was heartbreaking. Callie was strong, always, even when tired. Now though, she was flailing like a small child after a nightmare. The fact that she was struggling to communicate was making it even more difficult on Arizona's part to understand. She figured the best thing to do was remove what she assumed to be the trigger.
"Don't worry sweetheart. I'm gonna go take a shower and change my clothes. Does that sound good? I won't smell like hospitals then. Okay?" The surgeon spoke clearly, almost as if she was explaining a procedure to one of her patients.
"Okay." The brunette nodded her head. "I'm... I need some... some air."
Panic set in as Arizona watched her walk out through the glass doors and onto the balcony. She told herself to relax. This was never going to work if she didn't trust Callie. She took the quickest shower possible but ensured that she scrubbed all the sterile smell that clung to her, away. The blonde then changed for bed.
When she returned to the living area, Callie was back on the sofa staring intently at something. Her gaze remained down as Arizona took a seat next to her. Although she had left more distance between them than usual, the blonde still noticed her girlfriend physically stiffen.
"It's just me Calliope." After a slow breath, Callie relaxed slightly.
"You... you...uh... need to sleep. You've been working for hours... saving lives. Go to bed." Although the words were those of a loving partner, their tone was distant.
"I'm not going to bed without you. Can you look at me for a sec honey?"
Slowly, the Latina turned her head to look into the blue eyes she loved so much. Arizona saw all she needed there. They were not just glazed over. Behind them there was still fear.
"What... why do I need to... look..."
"You can tell a lot by the way someone looks at you."
"What do you see?"
Arizona ignored her question. "I did phone you, to say that I was going to be late."
"I know." Callie was not sure why that was relevant.
"So you knew where I was?"
The brunette nodded and looked back down to what she was holding in her hands. Her girlfriend followed her gaze.
"Calliope." It came out as a breathless whisper, filled with sympathy, as her heart constricted in her chest. She watched as tanned fingers followed the outline of machines and wires in the picture.
"Can I?" She asked tentatively. Callie passed it to her like it was a bomb. "It's you." Arizona knew it was. She could recognise the girl in the bed anywhere but sought out confirmation anyway.
"It's my coma photo." The Latina said as if everyone had one.
"Oh God."
"Arizona, you see kids on life support all the time."
"Yeah but not after knowing them as adults. And certainly not knowing them in the way that I know you." Her eyes were fixed to the small body lying lifeless. She was drowning in tubes and wires. "How come you're looking at this now?"
"Couldn't sleep." Callie leant forwards and buried the palms of her hands in her eyes.
"Why not?"
"It's tonight... nineteen years ago... tonight." The surgeon was surprised that Callie didn't recoil when she began rubbing circles on her back. She put the photo down on the table and moved closer to the brunette. Callie spoke again. "It's when I got ill."
Arizona pulled away the tanned hands which were still covering rich brown eyes and kept them tight in her hands. "Tonight's the night your life changed."
"No." She made eye contact again. "My life changed when I woke up. If I hadn't my life would have just ended. Tonight's the night I almost died." Arizona took a shaky breath. She was unsure how to respond. "It's... it's fine. Most of the time I can live... with it... knowing I shouldn't really be... here. It's just that tonight I can't... deal with it as well."
"Come to bed. Calliope please you need to try and sleep." She didn't miss the fear return to Callie's eyes. It had seemed to of disappeared as she had explained what was wrong. Now her girlfriend was scared again.
"Okay." Was the hesitant response.
The blonde settled herself in bed and watched Callie sit facing the wall with her legs over the side. Her back was to her partner. Out of the corner of her eye, Arizona spotted a bottle on the bed side table.
"Calliope, what are those?" She asked as she pointed. The Latina didn't need to move to know what she was referring to. The bottle of pills.
"Painkillers." Don't panic, Arizona told herself.
"How many did you take?"
"A couple. I... wanted to sleep. You weren't here. Couldn't sleep." She was beginning to mumble.
"It's okay. Come lie down with me."
"I wanted to take more... I couldn't... I can see it."
"See what sweetheart?" The blonde asked as she turned on her side to face Callie, even if she wouldn't look back.
"What happened. I can see it. I never used to but when they told me about my ABI I... It hit me how huge it was. Suddenly I could see it, the hospital and the bed and... I wasn't in it though. It's like I'm watching a TV programme. I'm stood where my parents were. Outside looking in. It's like a dream but not even from a memory. I don't remember. I think my brain needed something tangible to deal with. It's not me though in the bed. When I look at that photo... it's not me. I wasn't there. Now I can't stop seeing it. Programme's on repeat. Wires. Tubes. Drills. I'm scared."
"Calliope!" Arizona yelled in an attempt to snap Callie out of where ever she was. It worked and she turned to face the blonde. "Come here, let me hold you."
The Latina did just that. Facing the wall again, she lay down and felt fair arms wrap around her body.
"I'm scared."