Gillian Kearney Fan, thank you for your review. I'm glad you have sympathy for Ethan - some people would say it's worse for Cal, but it's difficult for them both.
CBloom2, thank you for your review. I'm really glad you like my story so far and I'm looking forward to catching up with your stories when they're not spoilers anymore.
Becs2202, I imagine Cal has mixed feelings about his mothers too. It probably helps that his relationship with Emilie is very different from his relationship with Matilda. Thank you for your review.
X-Sammii -X, thank you so much - I really appreciate your kind words. It is difficult writing emotions that come from situations outside my experience, but if it works for you, I'm happy! Thank you for your review.
LittleBritishPerson, I do worry about contradicting what is really going to happen, but perhaps it doesn't matter. Writing is about using your imagination, after all! Thank you for your review and your reassurance.
tracys dream, thank you for your review - I'm so pleased you enjoyed the first chapter.
ETWentHome, don't worry: I have cried over your stories loads of times! I'm glad you find Ethan's feelings natural. It is difficult (though very interesting) imagining what his feelings would be. Thank you for your review.
Tanith Panic, thank you for your review. I really want them all to be reconciled too, especially as Cal and Ethan didn't support each other when Matilda died. Carol Royle is very beautiful. Another name to add to the list of people I'm in love with!
Thank you to Future light, Firebird08x, Applealice10 and tracys dream for the favourites and follows.
Ethan swallowed another wave of emotion as he hurried after Cal. He could hear his ragged sobs, slightly muffled. He gave Emilie one more glance, then he left the room. Cal was leaning against the wall, his good arm laid horizontally against the wall, his face buried in it as he cried.
Ethan's breath hitched slightly at the sight of him and tried not to think about how much worse Cal might feel when… when it happened. He walked quickly towards his brother and put his arm around him, one hand resting lightly on his bad shoulder; the other clasping his good shoulder more tightly. Ethan closed his stinging eyes as he tried to think what to say, but then he realised that no words were necessary. Cal just needed to know Ethan was there.
Ethan's hand slid from Cal's injured shoulder and moved up and down his back. But although he felt Cal press closer to him, his crying didn't seem close to ceasing.
"Come here, Cal," whispered Ethan. He put his right arm around Cal's waist, moving carefully so he didn't knock the arm supported by the sling. Gently, he moved Cal away from the wall and held him, still mindful of his arm. "I'm here, Cal. I'll always be here. But I need you to come back in. Our mum needs us." He stopped for a moment, surprised by what he'd said. He hadn't meant to, but it had come to his lips so naturally.
He loved the elder Matilda and Emilie could never come close to her in terms of Ethan's affections, but perhaps it was possible to care for both of them. Perhaps Cal hadn't forgotten Matilda, as Ethan had feared.
"I can't," sniffled Cal. "I'm scared, Ethan."
"I know you are," said Ethan gently. "And that's okay. Anyone would be scared. But I know you can do this. I know how brave you are."
"I couldn't do it for Mum," whimpered Cal.
"That was different," said Ethan.
He felt Cal stiffen in his arms and his voice took on an edge of anger. "In what way was it different?"
Ethan realised how his words had sounded. Cal believed he thought that Emilie was easier because she wasn't as important as Matilda. To an extent, he was right, but that didn't change the fact Cal loved her and didn't want to lose her. "This time is different because I'm here with you, Cal. And I'm not going to leave you."
Cal relaxed into his arms and cried some more as Ethan held him. At last, he spoke, his voice roughened by tears. "I wanted to be here for Mum too. But it was so hard, Ethan. I couldn't do it."
"I know," said Ethan. "But you were there when she needed you most. And I know you gave her the comfort and support and love she needed. You can do that again with Em- with Mum." He laughed shakily. "It's confusing, isn't it? But names are often repeated in families. Little Matilda had the same name as her grandmother. And now we have two Mums."
Cal's arm tightened around Ethan. "I'm so glad you're here, Nibbles."
"Me too," said Ethan simply. "Are you ready to go back in? I know you can do this. And I'll be here."
Cal nodded. He was still crying, but he seemed calmer now. He brushed his tears away and sniffed a few times.
Cal didn't know it, but Ethan was grateful for his presence too. The idea of walking back into the room and not knowing if Emilie would still be with them terrified him, but the need to be strong for Cal kept him in control.
Emilie lay in the bed, moving fitfully from one side to another. Ethan saw a mixture of happiness and relief in her eyes as she saw her boys. Cal hurried to her side and sat down, taking her hand in his. Ethan watched as their eyes met. He felt an exchange; a communication was made between them. He felt a pang of loss as he realised he couldn't understand it and there was no time to form his own private communication with Emilie.
But then she turned to look at him. "Ethan. Come here, my son."
"Of course," he whispered, his voice choking. He went to her side, but Cal looked at Ethan long enough for Ethan to see the terror in his brother's eyes. Ethan quickly carried his chair to Cal's side of the bed and Cal moved as much as he could to give Ethan room.
Ethan put one hand on Cal's back and reached across the bed with the other, taking Emilie's hand in his. He lightly stroked the top of her hand with his thumb and smiled at her, trying to convey the warmth and affection he'd been fighting.
Beside him, Cal sniffed. He looked at his hands, one in Emilie's and one supported by the sling. He lowered his head and wiped his nose on his sleeve, sniffling loudly.
"Caleb!" Ethan and Emilie spoke at once. Then their eyes met. Emilie's showed affectionate, loving disgust, which Ethan knew was mirrored on his own face. They shared a smile.
"I haven't got a free hand, have I?" protested Cal, and for a moment, his voice was completely normal and they were just another family, with mother and younger son uniting in criticism of the older son.
But not just criticism. Love as well. So much love.
Ethan kept hold of Emilie's hand as he leaned across Cal to get him a tissue. Cal's head was in the way and they all laughed as Cal bent his head so Ethan could reach.
"You see what I have to put up with, Mum?" said Cal.
"A good, kind, supportive, hygienic brother," said Emilie.
"Oh, so this is what happens now I've got you together," said Cal. "You're ganging up on me!"
Ethan knew he wasn't complaining. He could see Emilie knew that too.
Ethan tried to lift the tissue from the box, but with no free hand to help him, the box came with it and they all laughed again, especially when Ethan accidentally hit Cal's head.
"Mum! He hit me on the head with a tissue box!" said Cal.
"Perhaps later, Ethan can tell me what you've hit him on the head with," said Emilie, slowly and painstakingly but with amusement in her eyes.
"His toy car… my book… his fist," said Ethan.
"Cal was always full of high spirits," said Emilie.
"He still is. Believe me." Ethan rested the box on his lap and finally the tissue came away in his hand. "Look at me, Cal."
It seemed a wrench for Cal to turn his face away from his… no, their mother's.
"Blow," said Ethan softly, and smiled slightly as Cal rolled his eyes and muttered something about his street cred before obeying his brother. When Ethan glanced over at Emilie, he saw she was smiling too.
"I remember doing that for both of you," said Emilie. "You were always a good boy, Ethan. You sat still and never struggled. Even though you were so young. Cal, you were more difficult. Especially when you were older. First, I had to catch you. You were always rushing off to try something new. You had no time to worry about your nose. Life was too exciting."
Ethan wanted to ask more about when he was a child, but he held the words back. Cal had found Emilie and helped her and loved her through her last weeks. This moment should be Cal's.
Cal glanced at him and smiled before turning back to Emilie. "What was Nibbles like?" he asked.
Emilie gave her brief, twitching smile again, her whole face lighting up. "Ethan, I know why your brother gave you that nickname. You were always nibbling. Your thumb. Your blanket. Your toys."
"Did I have teeth when you knew me?" said Ethan, enraptured and enchanted as he pictured a life he couldn't remember.
"One," said Emilie. "Centre bottom right incisor. The left incisor was coming through. You screamed, but not as much as Cal."
Ethan laughed. "That doesn't surprise me."
"Hey!" said Cal good-naturedly. "At least I didn't nibble everything in sight."
"You are both perfect," said Emilie. "And now I have perfect memories of you. To take with me."
Cal's smiles turned to tears. "No! No, Mum. No, you can't leave me. Not yet!"
Ethan put his arm around Cal again, but he couldn't speak.
"I will never leave you," said Emilie. "A part of me will always stay with you. With both of you. You will always have my love. My pride in my two sons. My happiness that you are so perfect and made my last days special."
Ethan closed his eyes against tears.
"I just hope…" said Emilie. "Oh, I hope so much that I haven't left you the worst gift of all."
The Huntington's, thought Ethan, but it didn't seem to matter. Not now, when all he wanted was to savour every last moment with Emilie.
"Don't think like that," begged Cal, through a flood of tears. "Please. Don't." He tried to say more but couldn't. His breathing came hard and harsh as he tried not to sob. "It's not your fault. You didn't know."
"No. Please don't think of that, Mum," said Ethan, the word coming to his lips without conscious thought. He only realised when he saw the joy shining from her eyes. He said it again. "No, Mum. Don't think of that. All that matters is we found you again. You loved us. You did everything you could to keep us. Then when we found you again and gave you anger, you only gave us love. We loved Matilda too and always will, but now we have two mothers. I feel so lucky and so grateful to have both of you." He felt tears on his cheeks and let go of Cal, easing another tissue from the box to wipe his eyes, and then quickly replacing his glasses because he needed to see Emilie.
"Don't cry, my sons," said Emilie. Her voice was becoming weaker. "Please don't be sad. I don't have much time and I want to hear. To listen. I want you to tell me about each other."