Arizona stirred. She was sure her alarm was about to go off any minute. Her plan was to then make breakfast whilst Callie slept a little longer. After breakfast in bed they would go to the Centre and tell the kids that they were now engaged. However she soon realised that there was nobody else in the bed. Opening her eyes she found her fiancé sat on a chair by the windows, watching her.

Callie didn't say a word but just held out one of the coffee that she had picked up.

The surgeon sat up and spoke.

"You're freaking out, aren't you? I mean I'd kind of guessed this might happen." She got out from under the sheet and stood on the carpet as she began to ramble. "A year ago you couldn't see yourself having a girlfriend let alone a fiancé. A wedding and a wife... I mean... And I surprised you. I just sprang it on you and I know that isn't always good with your injury..."

"Arizona." The brunette punctured her ongoing words and held the coffee a little higher without making eye contact.

Arizona took it and remained stood in front of her.

"I'm marrying you." She looked up to make sure that her partner heard.

Relief came across Arizona's face. Blue eyes closed briefly as a sigh was released.

"I'm yours as long as you'll have me darling." Callie reiterated before taking a sip of her drink. "Did you know I was thirteen when I started taking prescription painkillers. Beyond everything else, all my other issues, these headaches were what made it impossible. They made living so... I just couldn't function so I started taking whatever pills the doctor gave me. They worked for a while. Then they stopped and I couldn't do anything again. So I went to see the doctor and they gave me something else which would work for a while. After about three months I was struggling again so I took whatever pills I had left from my first prescription as well as the new ones. Another three months and I was back seeing the doctor. Some would work for longer than others. Sometimes they'd just up the dose."

The blonde took a step back and sat on the bed facing Callie. She realised this was one of those times to let her say whatever she needed to. Arizona began drinking and tried to prepare herself. These times almost always ended in tears.

"Within a few years I was taking whatever I could find and when you have money you can find a hell of a lot. Amber was going off the rails as well, we'd take it in turns steering each other. Her parents had basically abandoned her and left her in the house. Then came college. New people. More opportunities to set myself on fire." She paused and took a sip. Realising that she was staring past her fiancé instead of making eye contact, she refocused. "The reason I hit my head was that I got spiked one night but I was already wasted. I didn't suddenly get sober right away though. It wasn't the wakeup call I might have painted it out to be."

"You did something to Jonathon." Arizona said without thinking.

"How'd you know?"

"He... After you fell down the stairs he said something that made me think you'd been... a handful."

"I was a nightmare. I suddenly had so much justification for taking all sorts of shit I had in our apartment. I had quite a stash, not to mention the newest prescription. My head was killing me and he tried to stop me... You know... Well you can imagine better than anyone what I was like."

Arizona nodded and swallowed hard as she remembered what Callie had become when she'd tried to stop her.

"What did you do?"

"I punched him in the face; broke his nose."

The blonde's eyes widened.

"Then I disappeared. I was gone a few days. Jonathon called Amber and they ran interference with my parents. They still don't know. Thank God."

"What were you doing?"

It was then that tears began to fall and Callie wiped them away quickly. The surgeon went to stand but the brunette gestured for her to keep her distance.

"I honestly don't know. I don't remember. A combination of brain injury, substances and massive amounts of self hate is a horrible combination. One exasperates the other which exasperates the other."

"But Amber and Jonathon found you?"

Callie laughed a humourless, hollow laugh.

"I don't know how but yeah... they tracked me down."

"Where to?" She immediately regretted asking.

"I was standing on a ledge at the top of a parking structure. No idea how I got there but that's where they found me. That's when I remember from- vaguely. Amber talked me down I guess. Literally." After wiping some more tears, she realised out loud: "I guess I lied to you. I told you that I last tried to kill myself when I was seventeen but this was after. Although does standing on a ledge count as an attempt?"

"How close were you to... How close were you to jumping?" Arizona whispered just about as everything about her was paralyzed, including her vocal cords apparently.

"Pretty close." She responded almost as quietly. Standing as she did and moving to kneel in front of the other woman.

"Then I think it counts." Arizona soon lost the battle with her tears.

The brunette shook her head. "I'm sorry."

"Don't apologise for things that aren't your fault."

"I'm sorry for bringing this up. You didn't ever have to know. Now you know why I didn't like talking about school and stuff. I was... I wasn't this person."

"Why have you told me? I don't mind. I think it's probably good that you have- especially if it's been on your mind. I mean you couldn't sleep right? That's why you're dressed."

Callie looked down and took a deep breath before re-establishing eye contact. "About three months ago I started getting headaches. Not like the usual ones but the terrifying, life destroying ones. And I freaked out. My doctor prescribed me some pills and I've been taking them."

"Are they working?"

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you."

"Are they working?" She asked a little more forcefully.

"Yes." Callie reassured.

"That's why you started seeing Doctor Jacobs."

"That's partly why... yeah."

"You aren't that kid anymore Calliope. How much of our relationship have you spent trying to get me to understand that?"

"I know."

Arizona watched as her fiancé crumbled in front of her. Unable to take it, she got on the floor with her and positioned them so that she was sat against the bed and Callie was straddling her legs. Her left hand was cradling the side of her head whilst her right was on Callie's shoulder. The woman on top of her moved close and rested her head so that her lips were almost touching Arizona's neck.

The surgeon could feel Callie's words as they were spoken.

"I just want to be sure that I'll never be that mess again. It's always in the back of my mind and I guess with this ring on my finger it's just a more intense feeling. If I go back to being like I was I won't just be ruining my own life. Maybe that's why I thought you should know about my past."

"You couldn't ruin anything if you tried Calliope."

"If you wanna run, now's your last chance."

"Why? Because after dinner tonight our parents will have a date, a venue and the flowers arranged?"

"Arizona?" Callie lifted her head.

The blonde shook hers in response. "It kills me to hear about you being in any sort of pain- at any point in your life sweetheart. I'm not gonna let you struggle now and I trust you even if you don't. Just talk to me." She leant forward and kissed her lips before pulling back and speaking again. "I'm not going anywhere. I'm never gonna run. I'm marrying you."