A/N: I'm only gonna say this once. If you don't like my writing or think it's too predictable and/or unrealistic, don't read my stuff and just unfollow. Period. Any nasty comments will now be permanently deleted without being read. There's no room for negativity in my life. Anyway.. Enjoy the chapter!
"Ro oh my god.." Seth panted in Roman's ear as he slowed down his thrust and came inside of the condom. Roman's face buried into the pillow as he came to a full stop, breathing harshly near Seth's neck. The younger man's hands trailed down Roman's sweaty back and it sent a shiver up Roman's spine. His gray eyes were met with brown as they gave each other desperate kisses. Roman very slowly pulled out of Seth. He opened his post-sex dazed eyes and they stared at each other. Roman observed the features of the guy he cared about a lot. He wanted so bad for all the pain he felt to go away, for his eyes to close and reopen again to see the one man he needed more than anything to be laying up under him right now. But it wasn't him. Seth wasn't Dean. Roman turned the sigh he about about to release into a sharp exhale then he got up to go to the bathroom.
Seth laid there in his own mess for a minute before he heard the shower go off in the bathroom. He exhaled softly, getting up and taking Roman's sheets off the bed. He went downstairs and put them in the laundry then came back up and into the bathroom. He closed the door behind him and immediately he saw Roman through the clear curtain. He was just standing there, letting the water run down his soft tan skin. Seth realized that Roman needed him more than he knew. He sighed and got in and stood under the water with Roman. Their collective cum washed off Seth's abs and he decided to take some soap and clean them both off. He squeezed the island fresh body wash into his palm and ran it over Roman's skin. Top and bottom Seth washed him, then himself. When he came up behind the samoan he felt Roman take his hands and lock him with his own. Seth could hear Roman break down in tears right then and there and he wanted nothing more than to take his pain away, and replace it with nothing but pure happiness.
It's what he deserved.
Seth turned the water off and faced Roman. He smiled at the bigger man and wiped some of his tears away. Roman was way too pretty to cry. "We're gonna change the sheets together and then we're gonna talk about it." it wasn't a question. Seth was demanding it.
"Seth.. if you knew why I'm like this, you'd hate me." Roman admitted. He did all kinds of things wrong in the past. But hurting Seth wasn't supposed to be one of them. He never wanted to hurt him. Seth was a good man. He deserved everything. Roman wished things were different. He wished so bad he loved him the way he loved Dean.
"Roman. Give me some credit, okay? I may be pretty but I'm not dumb." He smiled as he looked up at him. "I know more than you think."
"You're not just pretty, Seth. You're beautiful. And you're not dumb. Don't ever call yourself that." Roman gave Seth a wet kiss on the lips and Seth smiled as he kissed him back, but still pushed him away.
"Kisses later. Talking now. Come on.. let's dry off." Seth pulled him out of the shower and Roman happily followed.
After they cleaned themselves up and the bed they decided to lay down together and just talk. Roman ended up telling Seth all about Dean and how they reconciled, made love, was completely happy for a small moment before Dean told him over the phone that he was staying with Renee because he loved her.
"Wow, Ro." Seth laid back against his pillow in shock at the overload of information. "Dean really said he loved her?"
Roman only nodded, "The funny thing is, he finally said he loved me too." Roman shook his head, disappointed in himself for believing Dean's lies. "... and i finally thought he grew up. I finally thought he was ready to start our life together."
Seth looked away, contemplating for a second, "Ro, you know I'm not Dean's biggest fan right now but.. if he said he loves you.. I think he meant it. He had the hardest time admitting to me back then that he did love you, and when he did, it was like this moment of clarity for him, even for me. I don't know what's going on over there but I'm willing to bet that it's not over between you two."
Roman looked at Seth seriously, "You'd be okay if it weren't?"
Seth moved closer to him and laid on Roman's chest. It was time to be honest. "I care about you Rome. You know i do." He sighed, "But if i'm being honest... as much as i want you to just be mine and for us to be happy together.. I know that you'll always want Dean. Even if you can't admit it to yourself. And well.." this was the hard part. "There's actually someone else in my life too. He's an asshole but he loves me and as much as i hate him right now, my feelings for him just won't go away."
Roman nodded, in a crazy way he understood what Seth was saying. He and Seth were good together. But their hearts were never fully in it. They both knew that from the beginning, yet decided to try anyway. Not saying it didn't work, but it just wasn't the same.
It wasn't meant to be.
"Is it Randy?" Roman wondered with a small laugh.
"Yeah, how did you know?" Seth smiled back at him.
"Because he's been starry eyed for you since we started dating. I'm surprised he hasn't tried anything sooner. Did you guys.. um.. sleep together?" Roman looked down at Seth expectantly, waiting for an answer.
"Yeah. We did." Seth replied honestly. He saw the look on Roman's face, it was shocked but he wasn't angry it seemed. Seth hoped that was a good thing. "You know i didn't mean to hurt you Ro i just.." Roman cut Seth off with a kiss. This time Seth didn't pull away. He kissed him back gently feeling that crackle of chemistry that was always there between them. Roman pecked his lips then kissed Seth's forehead.
"Don't worry. I'm not mad. I can't throw stones in a glass house babe." Seth was thankful Roman understood. He was so perfect in so many ways. Smart, funny, handsome, charming, great in bed. God, Dean was an idiot and Seth realized it was up to him to fix what was broken between Dean and Roman.
That is if Dean would ever even talk to him.
"So what do we do now?" Seth asked as he kissed Roman's chest softly. He played with the few strands of hair on Roman's chest and looked up into his eyes.
"Well.. you are gonna talk to Randy, yell at him for being an idiot then kiss and makeup." Roman kissed Seth's hair then sighed, "and I'm... gonna go back to focusing on work." Seth felt his heart sink when Roman finished his sentence. When Seth and Roman started dating Roman was a mess. Dean really did a number on him. But he wasn't going to let him go numb again. Not because of him or Dean. Roman was a good man who deserved all the love in the world. All the love Seth wish he had to give to him.
"I'm not ready to talk to Randy or even think about Randy." Seth said honestly. "He hurt me pretty bad Ro. I need time."
"Mm." Roman sucked in his lips with a nod. "Just don't wait too long okay? I know he hurt you but he's probably beating himself up for it. Be forgiving Seth.." He watched Seth pout. Roman chuckled then softly he caressed his pout away softly with his thumb. "Being in love isn't easy. But if he's worth it, and thinks you are too? Then don't give up on him.. okay?"
God, Roman was so damn wise. Seth nodded and then closed his eyes as he laid with Roman intimately for the very last time. "I'll talk to him." Seth conceded, "But you have to promise me something too." He looked up at Roman who was looking back at him with his eyebrows raised waiting for the promise. "Promise me you won't go numb again. Don't do that to your heart Ro. You deserve to be happy." Seth said seriously.
"My heart has been broken for three entire years, Seth. What's a couple more?" Roman closed his eyes and Seth held him even tighter. He could feel it. Roman's broken heart beating fast in his chest. He felt it thump against his ear and then slow down as Roman fell asleep. Seth wasn't going to let this happen. He wasn't going to let Roman spend his Dean-less days working without someone loving him. If it was the last thing Seth did..
He was gonna fix Roman's broken heart.
Renee sat in the waiting room of the insemination clinic, waiting for her appointment. Dr. Michael's assistant walked into his office and closed the door.
"That crazy lady is back." Alexa said, with a sigh.
"Oh you mean the one who tried to inseminate herself with a cup full of random sperm?" Dr. Shawn Michael's laughed. "Go on and send her in."
Alexa nodded and then put on the fakest smile she could muster as she walked over to Renee. "Hi, Miss Young? The doctor will see you now." she said softly.
Renee smiled back and got up, walking into his office. She closed the door behind her then sat down. "Dr. Michael's, good afternoon. I was waiting out there forever. I was wondering how long it was gonna take for you to see me.." Renee crossed her legs gently, "So, how much longer until i can get inseminated? I need this to happen sooner rather than later."
"Okay, Miss Young... Renee. I'll call you Renee." Dr. Michael's exhaled, "My assistant should've expressed this to you before but coming in here demanding us to put a baby in you is definitely not how insemination works. Insemination is a very long process and the first step is for you to ovulate. Your ovulation cycle varies from how often you get your period regularly. If your period is irregular so is your cycle. I can't determine when you'll be ready for insemination because i don't even know if you're ovulating right now. Secondly, we can't take your cup sperm.." He shook his head. "Because we don't know where it came from. Without medical history and background on said sperm we could be sued for medical malpractice if i performed insemination on you without the sperm donors consent. So in conclusion Miss Young... Renee, i apologize for any inconvenience my assistant may have caused you and any false hope you thought you had getting inseminated here but it just won't be happening at my clinic."
"WHAT?" Renee sat back in shock. This couldn't be happening. No. She already told Dean she was pregnant. She lied to his face and there was definitely no taking that back. She needed to get inseminated now. Or he would leave her for Roman and never look back. "No okay, that can't happen." The desperation in her voice was evident, "I need to get inseminated please. I need this. I'm begging you. I'll pay you anything you want. I need this. Please."
Again, Dr. Michael's sighed, "We cannot do it with the sperm you gave us. The most i can do is offer you donor sperm but even then, Miss Young, the process takes a awhile. The good news is that with donor sperm it's quite possible that you will be pregnant by the end of the month. The bad news is it won't be your husband's or spouses baby. If that is what you're hoping for."
Renee contemplated for a second. She could do that. But Dean would eventually know. He already asked for a paternity test. Renee would be caught in another lie and he would leave. She couldn't use donor sperm. "I can't do that. I want- I need it to be his baby." Renee sighed sadly, "Are you absolutely sure that there anything else i can do?"
"Sadly no. Without your husband's medical information and consent there's nothing we can do. Unless you want to.. i don't know.. fake that you're pregnant or something silly like that." Dr Michael's laughed because he was just being sarcastic, but after he said it, he saw Renee's eyes light up with joy and in was in that moment that he realized he put a terrible in her head.
"I was just kidding of course." He tried to warn her. "Tricking your spouse into thinking you're pregnant isn't healthy for your relationship." Dr. Michael's looked at Renee who seemed to be deep in thought, and then.. a smile, a terribly sinister smile.
"Your idiot of an assistant lied to my face and told me i could get inseminated here. She and your clinic took my money too. So unless you want me, a lawyer for Young and Stein to sue the fuck out of this clinic and take you for all you're worth you're gonna do something for me."
Dr. Michael's looked back into those hazel eyes with fear hidden in his own. "I won't inseminate you without your spouses consent." He stuttered out trying to sound the least bit intimidating.
"No you're not." Renee agreed. "But what you are gonna do.. is help me fake this pregnancy."
This was a bad idea.
Seth kept telling himself as he stood in front of Dean's office door. They haven't seen or spoken since that night. Where they physically and emotionally ruined each other and their friendship over Roman. He knew Dean hated him and honestly Seth hated him a bit too. But he wasn't there to talk about their friendship, or to reconcile with Dean.
This was for Roman and Roman only.
Three damn knocks and he waited. His heart was pounding in his chest as Dean yelled "Come in!" Seth exhaled sharply, then pushed the big marble door open. He walked through it to see Dean at his desk, typing on his computer. He looked good in his black and gray suit, his blonde hair was styled in a slick professional manner and he looked at ease. Although not for long because...
"Seth?" Dean stopped typing mid sentence as he saw Seth just standing there. His whole body stiffened as he looked at his former best friend. Dean felt his heart beat go faster in his chest. He didn't want to admit it, but he kinda missed Seth. He hated him yes, but missed him too.
"Hey Dean. Can we talk?" Seth asked softly. Honestly he was afraid that Dean would just get up and start pummeling him again but instead, Dean just nodded and gestured for Seth to come and sit. Seth closed the door behind him and sat in the chair across from Dean's desk. The former best friends had a stare down. Blue and brown eyes met and stayed on each other. No one said anything yet. It was like they were trying to have a conversation without words. "I'm sorry." they both said in their heads. Too damn proud to say it out loud just yet.
"It feels like forever since i've seen you." Dean was the first to speak, breaking their wordless conversation, but not the eye contact. "We haven't spoken since.."
Dean was scared to finish his sentence. They haven't spoken since that faithful night where Seth admitted to dating the man he was in love with. After it happened, Dean had a lot of time to think over things and he now realized how silly he's been. Roman fell in love with someone else. Even though it shouldn't of been Seth, in a weird way, Dean was happy that it wasn't someone completely new.
"Since we fucked each other up outside of a diner over Roman?" Seth looked down and laughed lightly. "Yeah. I remember."
"Seth.." Dean looked up at him from his desk with the most saddened expression he could muster. "I'm sorry. I never meant to fucking hurt you. I was just so mad in that moment because, it's Ro.. ya know? He's.." Dean looked off into the distance and sighed.
"The guy you're in love with." Seth exhaled and moved his chair so that he was sitting next to Dean, instead of across from him. Hesitantly, Seth put his hand on Dean's thigh, and offered him a soft smile.
"Yeah. He's the guy I'm in love with." Dean admitted so easily. He looked down at Seth's hand on his thigh and he placed his own on top, heart beating fast as he and Seth held hands like they used too. "How is he?" Dean asked reluctantly. He knew that Roman would run right back to Seth if he ever left him again. He just wanted to know if he was okay, if he is hurt... if he still loved him despite everything?
"Do you want me to lie to you or do you want the truth?" Seth looked at him seriously and waited. The truth was gonna be a hard pill for Dean to swallow.
"Give me the truth. Just please tell me he's okay.." Dean pleaded desperately.
"He's not okay Dean. He says he is... a lot actually but... he's not. After we made love the other day..." Seth watched Dean's jaw tense at his admission, but it didn't stop him from continuing, "He said he just wants to focus on work now. He's gone numb, Dean. I can read it all over his body. I don't want to lie to you anymore about his and my relationship. Roman and i.. we're over. But i will admit i care about him and I don't want him to just let the pain and loss of you overtake him. You gotta do something, Dean. You gotta go back to him."
Dean looked down, fighting tears as he nodded. He knew he had to go back and if he could he would run back right now but he couldn't. He was trapped. "I can't go back." Dean sniffled, "I messed up so bad Seth. I panicked and told him i loved Renee and that's why i couldn't be with him. I lied and it hurt like hell. Now I'm stuck. Fucking stuck and all i want is to be with him. All i fucking want is him." Dean couldn't hold back the tears anymore. He started crying freely and Seth was quick to react. He held Dean in his arms and let him cry on his shoulder.
"Wait.. If you don't love Ren.. why can't you be with Rome?" Seth was confused.
"Because.." Dean sniffled, looking down. "She's pregnant." Dean shook his head, "I found out that same day. Doesn't really matter how she did it. I saw the damn pregnancy test. She says it's mine and i won't let that baby grow up in a broken home like i did. It deserves a real family and that's what I'm gonna give it."
"Even if that means giving up the love of your life?" Seth pulled back from him. "Dean you're a good man, and you're gonna be a great father. We both know this; but please, think about this okay? Roman loves you. He's loved you since you were a broke law student. Love like yours doesn't go away easily. And if you give him up completely, i think you'll regret it for the rest of your life." Seth smiled at his friend, wiping some tears away.
"I already regret it." Dean admitted, crying more now. "I miss him so much Seth. Every fucking day."
There was nothing else Seth could do but give his best friend a big hug.
So that's exactly what he did.
*Two weeks later*
Roman was on his way to his cake shop early that morning with his daily latte in hand and as he was waiting to cross the street, a guy started to scream his name loudly. "Rome?" The guy shouted from behind him.
Roman turned at sound of his nickname and there he saw Cody Rhodes. One of his old boyfriends from college walking over to him. Roman smiled as he met Cody half way, stopping when they were face to face.
"Roman fucking Reigns!" Cody said with a smile. "I thought that was you. I can't believe it's you!" Cody looked at him up and down and Roman didn't miss the look in his eyes as he smiled at him.
"Codes! It's been such a long time." Roman smiled back at him, "Gosh, I haven't seen you since.." Roman snapped his fingers trying to remember the last time they saw each other.
"Since you and Dean's christmas party about four years ago right?" Cody finished his sentence for him. "How is Dean anyway? You two still grossly in love?" Cody teased with a laugh.
Roman stiffened at the mention of Dean's name. His heart sunk as he shook his head no. "Dean and i broke up a long time ago. It just.. wasn't meant to be i guess." Roman shrugged, he didn't want to talk about Dean.
Cody could tell how uncomfortable Roman was talking about Dean. He could see it in Roman's eyes. Dean had hurt him somehow. The last time he saw them Roman was 'stars in his eyes' in love with Dean. They were gross but cute. Cody was always jealous that Dean snatched Roman up that quickly. But from the look on Roman's face, things between them ended pretty badly.
"How are things with Antonio?" Roman tried to change the subject for his own heart and to spare any pity Cody would offer him too.
"We broke up. Turns out the Swiss believe in more than one lover and Cody does not." He laughed nervously, wanting to change the subject too. "Wow. I can't believe Roman Reigns is single. I really thought you and Dean were meant to be man. You guys just fit so perfectly. I was always a little jealous of your relationship." Cody watched Roman tense again, so he decided to stop talking about Dean. "...but that's okay because that just means that now there might be a chance for someone else.. to capture that big heart of yours."
Roman blushed as Cody looked at him with this intensity. He started to remember all the times he was under that heavy gaze, as he pounded into that tight heat of Cody's. "There just might be." Roman flirted back shamelessly, then looked down at his watch. "Ugh. I have to go to work. It was nice seeing you again Cody. I hope we can properly catch up sometime."
"We can." Cody announced before Roman walked away. "That is if.. you're free sometime to let me take you to dinner?"
Roman stopped and turned back around with a smile. He wasn't over Dean, and probably wouldn't ever be, but maybe going out to a friendly dinner with Cody might be good for him. Seth kept telling him he needed to just get back out there and Roman was reluctant to listen because he was so in love with Dean still. But Dean loves Renee. Roman decided to give his own heart a break. It was time to move on.
"Okay." Roman agreed, he went into his bag and handed Cody his card. "My number is on the back. Call me and we can set something up."
Cody bit his lip with a smile, "Mm. I definitely will." He replied, touching Roman's arm gently. "Bye Rome. Look for that call tonight."
"I'll be waiting by the phone." Roman joked as they waved goodbye to each other and walked away. When Roman got into work, Sasha, his assistant was sitting there typing on her computer when she saw her boss walk in with the biggest smile on his face. It was weird seeing him smile since he would come in look sad everyday for the past two weeks.
"Someone's happy this morning." Sasha said smiling back at him.
"You know what?" Roman smirked at her. "I guess i am."
"Hmm what's the cause of this sudden happiness hmm?" Sasha pondered, "Someone get laid last night?"
Roman laughed as he sipped his coffee. "Nope." He said honestly.
"Then what's with the smile?" Sasha said, beginning to open up the registers.
"I dunno." Roman shrugged with a smile. "I guess i'm just.. happy."
Renee sauntered into the guest room where Dean was now sleeping and waved the big green and white lace cards around. "Hey babe. Look what came today?" She tossed them at Dean and Dean looked up from his book, to see the cards. "Our invitations. Aren't they gorgeous?"
Dean barely registered the design as he buried himself back in his book. "Uh huh." Is all he said back before flipping to the next page.
"Dean!" Renee took the book from him and handed him the cards. "That's the date of our wedding, it's all set babe. We have the date, the venue, the dresses i picked with Nattie last week and you still need to pick groomsmen. I was thinking Sami and Seth, what do you think?"
Dean exhaled, rolling his eyes. "I don't care. You do it all. I'll just show up and say.. I do."
Renee smiled, moving to lay next to her fiance. "Dean i know you're not happy about this baby. Or having to marry me. But sitting here hating each other isn't good for our child. We need to reach some common ground. It's been almost a month now. Please.. just come lay with me?" Renee desperately tried to cling to him, softly kissing the side of his neck. She watched Dean close his eyes at the kiss and she smiled softly.
"Ro..." Dean spit out as Renee kissed his neck. His eyes popped open as he said Roman's nickname and saw Renee looking back at him completely disgusted. But he wasn't sorry. He told Renee how he felt. And those feelings weren't going away anytime soon.
She shook her head and got up, walking out angrily. Dean blew out a breath then picked up his phone. He searched through the contacts then stopped on Roman's name. His thumb was hesitant to press the call button. They haven't spoken since Roman said he hated him. But Dean was desperate. He needed to hear his voice. He needed him.
He pressed call despite his better judgment and fiddled with nervous fingers as it rang. After about six rings, Roman answered. "Hello?"
"Ro.." Dean could hear that sweet low temp of his voice. It had his cock stirring already. "Hey it's me, umm Dean."
"Mm. Yeah. I know. I have you saved in my phone Dean. What's up?" Roman didn't sound too mad. Dean thought. Maybe they would have a nice conversation.
"I was kinda hoping we could talk?" Dean sounded like he was whispering. Roman sighed into the phone shaking his head.
"Dean, honestly, I don't think there's anything to say." Roman replied a bit coldly.
As Dean was about to respond to him he heard a male voice in the background.
"Roman! Are you coming babe?"
"Wait! Who the hell is calling you babe?" Dean didn't want to sound so jealous. It just came out.. totally jealous.
"Cody." Roman replied simply.
A/N: This chapter is so emotionally draining. You have no idea how hard it is to write things like this when you've lived it. It's so close to home man. But it looks like Dean's living with a lot of regrets, and Roman is finally trying to be happy. (hey Cody welcome to the fic!) And Ambrollins made up which made my heart more happy than you know. Fun fact i shipped Ambrollins before Ambreigns. No one cares Melle lol. Anyway i wanna thank the people who review, favorite, and follow my fics. It means more to me than you know. I know I'm not the best writer for ambreigns but you like me anyway and that means alot to me. Stay excellent. - Melle.