The next morning, Cap'n Fasma and Generally Hux walked into the cafeteria and got their food. They sat down at a table and started eating greedily, shoving the meals down their throats dramatically.
There was 'mystery meat' that morning and Fasma thought it tasted kinda weird.
"Hey Hux doesn't this meat seem…. a bit odd to you." She questionad.
"Yes" he reapplied.
The two started to threw up the meat and choking on it. It tasted like rotten corpses.
THEN! Kyle Ren walked in!
"IT TASTED WEIRD BECUZ IT IS YOUR FAMILIES," he bursted.
"Ewww wtf.," Fasma snapd. "That's messed up."
"But if it was an animal, you wouldn't care right" Kylo responded patronizing.
"I guess not," Hux iced back.
"See your logics are twisted," Kylo said with dissapoint.
"Okay we will be vegans," Kyle's friends respond.
"Yipeeeee!" Kylo hit the whip, and then he remembered that dance move didn't exist in his galaxy, so he stopped.
"Let's start converting the rest of the staff to veganism," Kylo said snakily with a defective grin.
"Ok." Kylo's friends agreed.
And then they starting baking a plan to rid the First Order of animal-product eating monsters!1
The Next day the technicians and stormtroopers walked into the cafeteria and saw something very strange. There were posters all over the walls. One said "Eat beans, not beings," one said "animals are friends, not food," and one said "I think, therefore I am vegan." There were lots more too.
"What is this," a staff member complained. "And why is there no eggs or meat."
"I see you are admiring our new changes," Kyle Ren said sexily. "We are all now vegans, so we will surely beat the evil Resistance."
"Okay," They said.
"WHAT THE FUCKING HELL," suddenly roared a long voice.
Kyle and his friends turned around to see-!
Supreme Leader Smoke!
"THE STAFF NEED ANIMAL PRODUCTS TO WORK HARD," Snoke was really angrily speaking.
"But Snoke this is better for our galaxy and health!" Kylo ejaculated.
"NO!" Snoke strode to the posters and ripped them off! He also ordered the cooks to bring back the animal products, and then he left giving Kylo an evil look.
"What a conformist, unhealthy monster," Kylo cried angrily, beans squeezing out of his tear ducts (he cried vegetables like a true vegan).
"There is still hope, Kylo," Hux reassured him. "We will be victory in the end, like in the French Revolution. Power to the people! Viva la vegan!"
"What the fuck is a French Revolution," Kylo whimpered.
"I have no idea," Hux shrugged and pulled Kylo to his feet.
"Okay let's make some plans to convert Snoke to veganism!" Fasma pumped her fist in the air with confidentiality.